Its been a long time since I have written anything. To use a popular phrase – I think what is urgent many times takes precedence over what is important; there is a lot to do in office these days. Some amount of fire fighting. I have been very busy mentally and therefore physically. I think I its time to take stock as one needs to from time to time. I had given a free hand to a lot of my kids. I am disappointed that it did not resulting higher productivity. I guess it takes time for people to evolve and mature. Well this will definitely reflect on their overall growth but hell, at least I tried to make them grow. End of the year there is no blood on my conscience that I did not try hard enough. There is a fine line between outstanding and exceeds expectations. This line is for an employee to see. You get salary to do your job well, very well, but growth; you bloody need to be outstanding and a clear outlier to go beyond. That is instinct, that is something you push your own self for, that comes from within. It is that push that you make when no one wants you to. You do it of your own accord. PUSH PUSH PUSH. It has its own perils. By pushing you do sacrifice a bit of yourself. You lose yourself, your heart, and bit of yourself. But it’s a choice that you have to make. When you are in the shower and you are thinking, do you think about your love life, your hobbies, your passion or your work. What is the big thing that you are pushing for? That big thing will decide your fate and your life. If that big thing is your job your work, then you are looking at your self make that transition into something that can give you growth at your office. I am not for once advocating that that is the right thing to do but then that’s the truth. What you want to be the big thing in your life will have to occupy that much more of your life. Work, painting, love, whatever…… so the question is what do I do? Well my work is not my life, in fact I do not define my life from it, but it does pay for a lot of things that define my life. That too my mind is the clincher. So work has taken a part of me, a large part of me. I think about it a lot of the time. I get ready for to do’s, follow ups, ideas, directions etc before hitting each day. So I have given up a part of the soul to work. But what to do? I try and balance it.
Yesterday was wifef’s birthday. Thank go I remember it. Now I try my bets to remember it well in advance. I saw two movies – the march of the penguins and Bheja Fry. The first one was a classic National Geographic style special. Nice but quite boring. Bad prints that have been played in a zillion theatres before coming to us and a tad too long. In fact, when the interval broke I thought that the movie would have ended. Slow paced, but ok ok. The other one was a masterpiece. Bheja Fry is easily one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. It is just too good. I dare say – its in the same league of Jaane bhi do yaaron. Dam funny. No crude vulgar comedy. The whole theater was laughing non stop and that too very loudly. One joke would make the people laugh loud so much so that the other joke was lost in the din. The newspaper (HT) gave it a one star and the penguins got a 4 star. Oh fuck you raters…I am never going to believe in the ratings. I guess they just want to guess the reactions and give smaller ratings to movies they assume will be a flop and more to those they believe to be “classy”. The director is definitely going places, if he does not burn out – Sagar Bellary I think. Dam funny guy. It reminded me of the plays that are played at college festivals or annual day. I would like to see this movie with my entire joint extended family. I hope it runs well and encourages more such movies as opposed to the fucking irritating movies like Namaste London. The only time I laughed in Namaste was actually in the emotional spiel that the protagonist was giving in defense of his motherland “India” to the gora’s who were degrading it. Really sad.
There is so much to write. There is backlog of ideas and photos in my head. Hope to clear my head and write more, and more regularly. I think the break from the blogging was probably a cool thing to do.
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