daily Bananas

Christmas decorations on my cabin using post-its. Inspired by the post-it wars.



Dam it. We played cricket on this road 25 years ago. There were no cars parked. No traffic. The pitch was on the right side and there were shots all over. In fact I even remember playing across the road. You bowl from one pavement and you bat at the other. For those who wonder why kids don’t play outside – here is ONE answer.



Office is fun, especially if you have a sword and a hapless trainee.



What do you do if you have strawberries and truffles in your fridge. You melt the truffles and put them in the strawberry. That’s what.



Yup… this is what happens to them next.


Bananas. I really empathize and respect jispa. Poor thing eats bananas every day. In the morning thrice a week, she has to eat them and got to the pool. In the evening, it’s a small snack before she goes for a swim. Anyone will hate bananas, if you have to eat so many of them. Jispa likes them but is completely fed up of them. You just mention the word three four times and she will stop talking to you. Serious. I eat them in the morning and they have begun to fry my brains.



This Sky walk is used for something at least. Free propaganda is probably an important element in democracy.


Here Jasmine is explaining to Jispa what a ‘Habuk ‘means. A little too publicly :)



At café coffee day – the per unit cost of cookies doesn’t make sense. Its cheapest when you buy less and then goes up as you buy bigger packs and comes down again but not lower than the lowest pack.


there is a smile waiting for you everywhere



Bonus Video – some inspirational stuff for those who need Stallone to inspire them. Next time you are depressed, lost and down, may I suggest the complete Rocky collection. It has wisdom for all your situations, on top, below, down under… etc… given by coaches, children, wives, friends … everything. There is one Rocky for every possible depressed need.

its fun growing up with Jispa

A few blogs earlier I had written about the complicated truce in the relationship between Jasmine, Jispa and me. This was as regards Jispa and Jasmine’s fights and other tribulations. On the heels of a truce comes a new low in the relationship between Jispa and me.
Jispa is now growing up. She is not nine years old and aware of herself and the surroundings. She has a mind and she plans to use it. And now she finds me ‘over’. Not as in over meaning the end. But Over as in ‘over doing’ over. It started with the morning wake up. In the morning wake up I used to get inside and smother her with kisses, talk a lot, hug a lot…etc etc… She was complaining the other day that I ‘over’ do it. I should just wake her up by being less aggressive. LESS Aggressive? What the F is that? I thought I was being sweet and this is what she liked. If she wanted I could mom to wake her up. With me she can have the wake up procedure for 10 minutes. Mom will just pull her out of the bed before she knows it, she would be in the bathroom. I thought I was doing her a favor. Bah!
So how does she want to be woken up? She wants to be first told to wake up and then she wants to sleep for some time and then I have to come again. One or two kisses and a hug is ok. No more. Arrrgghhh.
The other day at the swimming competition also she resisted being hugged and kissed by me. She is clearly growing up and I am clearly not letting go. One of us is not maturing. Dam. The thing with kids is that they are designed to break your heart. They will grow up and that’s what you train them for and the first place they use their skills are on you. You teach them to argue logically and they do it on you. You teach them to grow up and be independent and they want independence from you.
So thanks to this growing up pang I have been sulking a bit. So you want to be treated like an adult eh? FINE! I can’t believe I am doing it, but I am seeking revenge. So you want to be treated like an adult eh? So then do this yourself, so that yourself, now do that on time. Etc etc. in fact at one point Jasmine had to rein me in. She knows how hurt I am and how difficult it has been for me. Every time Jasmine and Jispa have a fight, I am the one to restrain them in saying ‘relax, she is a kid’. And now the kid has turned against me and has pretense of growing up.
It’s not easy. It is surely not easy. Very very tough. Growing up with Jispa means constantly adapting, constantly changing your stand, all while remaining ‘consistent’. Man this is so tough. And I don’t like it. Parenting is dam tough. I don’t we signed up for this. This was not written in the brochure. Constant adjusting and adapting is a crazy thing. There are three personalities at play and the fact that these personalities are constantly prone to mood swings, and the fact that the most critical one is growing up every second and new synapses in the brain are being developed as we speak. Her brain would be a flurry of activity. It would do somethings and justify to itself somethings. Keeping it crazy all the time.
So right now Jasmine is learning to let go and I am learning to let go. We are all learning to let go. The question is how much to let go and how much to hold on to. Discipline versus nature’s course. It’s a big challenge. It drains you of all the emotional energy that is there.
One thing is sure, I am happy that I had Jispa when I was about 27 years old. She grew while I was growing. We both grew up together in many ways. It is a good thing to be a relatively younger parent. These are interesting lessons in growing up. Every phase is such a challenge. Let go, don’t let go. You need an almost Zen like Buddhist state of mind to deal with all this. The constant need to change, to think of things as transient, and to focus on the core that is – the relationship based on love and caring and respect. Ufff….
Coming to which... I changed the settings of my blog to being hidden to Google. Jispa is now growing up. Now she will have friends who will do the Google search on friend names. A few of them already tried. Luckily they don’t read the blogs and they searched for the images and Jispa’s image from the blog got thrown up. Another interesting story – one day when I was talking o Jispa about the internet or something, she told me that some friend told her that another friend’s video was on you tube and that she should look it up. I looked it up for her. It was an embarrassing video of the friend as a three year old singing an English song. It was cute while the kid was three years old and embarrassing when the child grew up. So as of now the blog is off Google but accessible through the direct URL. Someday I am sure it will become private and Jispa will ask me to make it accessible by password.
I don’t think it would hurt too much. It’s not like the blog has a massive fan following or something…. But I like it open and I like the stories to reach someone somewhere and who knows what could be impacted, and where. I suddenly remembered this poem I had once attempted to learn for the elocution. Attempted? Ya… I did a bad job and in the trials I just kept forgetting the lines and my teacher was clearly disappointed as she thought I was better than this.

The Bridge Builder
by Will Allen Dromgoole (1860-1934)

An old man, going a lone highway,
Came at the evening cold and gray
To a chasm vast and deep and wide
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The rapids held no fears for him.
But he turned when safe on the other side
And built a bridge to span the tide.
“Old man,” cried a fellow pilgrim near,
“You’re wasting your time in building here.
Your journey will end with the closing day;
You never again will pass this way.
You have crossed the chasm deep and wide;
Why build you this bridge at even-tide?”
The builder lifted his old gray head.
“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,
“There follows after me today
A youth whose feet must pass this way.
This stream, which has been as naught to me,
To that fair youth may a pitfall be.
He too must cross in the twilight dim —
Good friend, I am building this bridge for him.”

oh baby sing a song

Brrr… Mumbai has gotten cooler in the mornings. And so has the swimming pool. I feel cold just looking at Jispa and the kids taking a dip in the pool at 5.45 am. My squash court is also closed for renovation, so today I decided to join her in the pool. Hmmm. It is cold. But its ok when you get swimming. after a long time I did around 12 laps and I could have possibly done more, but I came out. Its always interesting to see that every sport has a different muscle group requirement. No matter how much I might be playing squash, but after a round of intense swimming after a long time, and my different muscle groups made their presence felt. Sports – it makes feel alive.
I feel so good that Jispa is doing her share of sporting activities. But we never knew it would get this serious. Today the coach asked us if we were going anywhere for a vacation. Luckily we weren’t. He did not want Jispa to miss her routine as she was doing well. Then I asked about March and he said that state selections are in April. So that now leaves us for June. Wow. I can’t handle such a long break from a break. I will have to figure a way to stay at home and relax and make the best of my holidays. So now I am planning a June vacation. My immediate reaction was – it better be two weeks at the least. Lost for 14 days, preferably without the cell or internet or anything else!
You know… I am not the music types. I don’t really listen to music much but today I somehow was listening to an old Kishore kumar number and suddenly I smiled at the irony of it. I am right now listening to this number and talking about a vacation with my daughter with no cell or internet… and the song is… did you guess this one?

Ek aise gagan ke tale – jahan gum bhi na ho, aasun bhi na ho… bus pyaar pyaar pale….
Wow. Some sweet happy coincidences in life! It set the mood. What a lovely song! And lovely lyrics. Simple heart tugging stuff.
Listen to some more Kishore.

This was and still is a big hit. The number of times it has been resung remix and rescrewed is amazing. In fact I had to look a little more to get the original…. But at least I got to it. I feel so lucky to be able to find and share music and videos through the internet and of course youtube. In 1984 or 85 when we came in from Dubai, there was one cassette player in the house and that was monopolized by my teenage sister with fresh notions of romance in her head. Ok I am being slightly uncharitable but, she did monopolise it. It was a two-in-one which some of our young readers might know the meaning.Basically the player had not one but two cassette decks and a radio, which I have explained many times in the past was a REALLY big thing in the deprived pre liberalization era. It looked somewhat like this one here


So this one time the big musical hit Love Story was being aired on our national channel. Which was also a big thing as we had a movie aired only once a week on Sunday evenings. Socialist India treat for its citizens! So my sis decided to record all the songs using the two in one placed next to the TV. NOPES there were no wires connecting the two. It was an attempt to pirate using good old record button when the song played. The TV would blare and the player would record. I don’t remember very well but I don’t think it worked well as an experiment. But I do remember getting grief from my sister when I came in ringing the bell a few times. Opps. Teenage elder sisters are dangerous.
We should say grace for we have the internet!
While we are on songs – while I was searching for Neele Neele Amber pe, I chanced upon this south Indian piece from which it was inspired (I am not sure which one came first though). Listen on –

And of course the original from Love Story. Teenage elder sisters… sigh.

moeny money money

What’s with egos. Jispa went to a swim meet today and the place was plastered with the face of this one character.
There were hoardings all over the place. The beach umbrella had his mug shots and of course the medals! That was too much. Medals? How much can you be vain? I guess it seems to be apolitical thing. Dear voter don’t forget the face. I am doing a lot of good stuff for you. Remember me! But I guess if he got some great pleasure out of getting his face plastered and I got a swimming contest in return, what do I care. It’s not like I have to vote for him. Sure. Smash it all over dude. This swim meet they were even giving out cash rewards and Jispa managed a butterfly bronze to get 500 bucks! She said she wanted to keep it as she thought she earned it.
Many years ago, after my tenth standard board results, I got what I remember as 200 odd rupees for getting a distinction. I got a cheque of the amount from the classes I went for. So I came home with the happy feeling that I had earned the money. Now I could do stuff with it. I even had a girlfriend I could spend it on! So I came home and asked for it. Mom refused. No way. You get your pocket money and that’s that. This does not belong to you. So in a fit of defiance, I too said then I don’t care about it. The cheque will remain with me. If you have power, I have power. I think then Dad entered the conversation. He had a chat with me. I don’t remember the complete chat but I remember these lines – me – “it’s my money, it rightfully belongs to me”. Dad – “well, then I can say, since I paid for the classes, then it rightfully belongs to me”. I don’t think I won that argument. And I think Dad managed to have a amiable solution to eth problem. I think I did get eh money in the end.
So Jispa said – I earned it, it’s my money. Haha! Sitting duck – ya if you have earned it then, it’s I who have actually earned it. What about the petrol and the other stuff to get you to swim. Who pays for that! Of course my tone was much more humorous than that of my dad’s. Awww. Jispa went. She knew it was in jest. Well she can have the money and quite frankly I don’t know if we will or won’t give it. Jasmine said – ‘aren’t you giving a treat to all your friends with your money?’ whoops!
Earning money… Today morning Jispa was telling me – you owe me 35 rupees for the guitar practice. Jasmine was like – you did not practice properly. Jispa replied ‘I did, and I am not charging for one session, so its ok’ Jasmine went “CHARGING? You are not charging, we are giving you like that for practicing.’ ‘OK ok. I am asking for my income’… “ok stop. I will give you your 35 bucks” I butted int o settle the argument.
Money is a funny object. Jispa has the money but has no place to really spend it. But it still gives her pleasure. She likes counting it, and like a true gujju, she loves getting interest on it. That is the best part. The other day in a fit of generosity on her cousin brother’s birthday she wanted to give him a cash gift. She started with around 600 bucks in the morning, but as we approached evening and the time came to actually give the money, the number dwindled to 200 bucks. “Why” I asked Jispa. “I did not like to give away so much money” she said. Always a tough call.
Probably we are ingrained to hoard. We like money, not so much as what it is doing for us but for what it COULD do for us. I think it’s a subtle but crucial difference in the way we see money. Hmmm.

zen in the art of....

The relationships between Jispa, Jasmine and me reached new depths. In the past weeks we found it very difficult to get along. We ended up fighting at almost every instance. Jispa could do nothing right. She lost two three water bottles, refused to listen to anything, dropped stuff on the floor, gave round about answers to straight forward questions, second guessed while giving answers….. and so on. It was really really tough.
But like most issues these too got resolved. Jispa got one week of constant attention (unpleasant attention) and we too grew up. As Adam Smith prophesized, when there is free speech, both parties feel equally bad, a willingness to listen to the other point of view and when one set is in absolute total authority, typically equilibrium is achieved. Oh ok – that was nowhere near Adam Smith, but we still achieved equilibrium. Only time will tell if the ‘dambrium’ is stable and lasting or a temporary truce.
Till then its business as usual. These days our weekends are spent with jispa at her swim meets. She has been competing pretty well and we have been coping pretty ok. These competitions take a lot out of you. You carry the right food and drink and snacks and the works. The only way I began to look forward to these is not her swimming but, in a moment of epiphany one Sunday morning – I decided to make this a picnic. So we carry sandwiches, cold coffee, lemon juice and the works. We have a chiller box, we recently bought and so we stuff that with the goodies and ice and off we go. Jispa’s swimming has dramatically improved. She seems to be amongst the top ten swimmers in her age group in Mumbai. Her butterfly has dramatically improved. Last year she was ten seconds off the number one swimmer and yesterday she trailed by 2 seconds to finish fourth. And her technique stills requires improvement.
Jispa many times is impervious to talks on swimming technique. She knows that we know jack shit about swimming so she doesn’t really pay too much heed to what we say to her. But then yesterday I hit upon another idea. I took videos of her contest and then showed the same to her. I explained frame by frame the difference in the techniques. Of course to the best of my ability. Then I also took a video of the best swimmer of the meet and explained some subtle nuances of his technique. That seemed to get her thinking. I don’t think she would be able to follow my analysis, but I surely drilled into her the fun of being technically correct. That itself should add a dimension to her swimming. She must be cognizant of the need to be technically correct if she wants to break the top three.
Luckily this meet was in the afternoon and the mornings were spent making breakfast. The days we don’t see a movie on Sunday mornings, the most of the morning is devoted to reading newspapers and making breakfast. The only way I can deal with chores is to have a Zen like state of mind while doing them. I take pride in doing the chores the right way. If I have to iron my shirt, I take extra care to get the creases just right. If I wipe the floors, I take it tile by tile, straight lines, no dust untouched. Ditto with dishes and the best is in the kitchen. Especially with the sandwiches. On saturday I had the good fortune of making a sandwich from the Panini bread that Jasmine got for me. In fact I enjoyed making it so much that I took step by step photos of the process. I cut the all the veggies myself. I have been practicing cutting them since a long time and I take great pride in cutting them as thin as possible.
So here are the pics of the steps involved
Pic 1 – the butter chutney and the veggies. I filled in the cucumbers after the photo


Pic 2 – Jalapenos, olives only on my side (Jasmine doesn’t like them too much) and the paneer. I learnt to put Paneer in Sandwiches from Turkey. They make some the best sandwiches I have ever eaten.



Pic 3 – Cheese, oregano, salt and pepper. The oregano is the one you get with Domino’s pizza. Jasmine loves the mix they have. It is oregano with salt and some other spices including red pepper. It’s quite awesome. Jasmine always takes extra and stores them. You should put the stuff on buttered toast and have. Yum.



Pic 4 – On the griller. This one is thanks to my sister. We never would have bought one. There was never enough space. But given one, we love to use it.



Pic 5 – happily squashed. They do get thinner when grilled.




Pic 6 – served – the only plate as big is the cutting board. Check the attempt to pass of crass mass produced ketchups as special sauces. It’s the fun of serving. Jasmine and me both prefer to clean the entire table of the mess and sit to eat on a nice clean table, with all the stuff either in the fridge, or on shelves or inside the dustbin.




Almost everything tastes nice or every chore manageable if you take pride in them. Take pride in them. But of course, as Jasmine would add, do it every day you wouldn’t have as much pride. But then… if you do it every day, it’s your job and not a chore. Oh ya… that’s probably explains why most jobs are chores. But then……. Oh chuck it. Never mind.

But I did get super excited over a sandwich didn’t I?

a sporty mind

Two months of being away from the swimming pool can really deteriorate your swimming ability. I restarted swimming – twice a week, when I have to leave Jispa for taekwondo class. From the 12-16 laps that I could do, I have come down to 3-4. Of course my technique needs improving and I also realized, my mind plays a very large role in my sporting endeavors.
While playing squash, I seemed to have hit a wall, as far as improvements go. Something is not happening right. Instead of length balls, I keep hitting the side walls. Something is wrong. I was talking to the coach and I realized that I am not preparing myself mentally before a game. I need to think through the game, run through the shots in my head, keep playing the shots mentally and in the right way. That helps me a lot. Of course that’s not the only thing. My technique itself is also suspect. So the coach showed me some practice moves that I need to do to ensure my racquet is at the right angle. It needs to be open rather than closed while playing. Hit up hit up. I hope to keep practicing this when I am early in the morning. I am also quite pleased with the way the coach is taking interest in my progress. He is a quite sort of guy who does not really coach unless you keep at it. He rather be a quiet spectator. I guess he has learnt it right. All sorts of people come to the club. A lot of them are know it alls. He is always open and there if you want to speak to him, but he keeps to himself and only gives out coaching instructions when prodded. I accidently figured it out. Now I play squash not only purely for fitness, but I also want to improve the game. Keep thinking, keep playing, and keep at it. It gives me great pleasure to play it with a purpose. I don’t ever count the score; that I leave to the other guy. Good for him to keep him mentally occupied. I am going to play every ball the same irrespective of the score, then why bother counting the score. Thanks to this attitude I chase every ball, and my first rule is keep the ball in play, so I have had some amazing rallies with another player at the club, who is far better than me, but just my ability to reach and keep the ball in play constantly, can result in some really long and amazing rallies, which are delight to play and a delight to watch. When you are barely reaching the ball, just keeping it in play requires a tremendous amount of effort and sheer will power. Keep reaching and keep avoiding an unforced error. That’s the key. But that does mean anything besides the fact that I get a good stretch. I need to keep playing right, get technique right.
Coming back to swimming, I am also working there on technique. I have to think through before I get into the pool. What am I going to do, how will my hands move, how will they enter the water, how will they pull it back. I think of my swimming coach and assume he is there giving instructions. The last time I just got into the water without thinking about anything and I made a complete hash out of it. I have to keep thinking. today, much thought went into the swim and I was far better at it. think think think. How the hell does it work?
It’s like the mind thinks of the various things it wants to do and the muscle just seems to follow. You don’t think and you are gone, because the muscle then does what it just wants to and completely messes things up. The hands go anywhere and the legs dance about. The mind alone can control it. Thinking about technique and being aware of your body while playing a sport is like moving into a trance like meditative state. It is lesser in the case of cricket and squash. You are trying to react to the situation and in cricket, you are constantly aware of the score. But I just love swimming as you are up against yourself. There is no score, no one to beat, nothing to attack. There is you and then there is your technique. While swimming I can think of nothing else. Where is my arm, where is my head, what are my legs doing? If meditation is keeping all thoughts away, then this is as close as it gets. I am only self aware. Only thinking about myself, my body. It is impossible to think of anything else. I also don’t want to go faster. I only want to go longer. To go longer I have to go slower and in correct rhythm. I try and feel the rhythm. If the rhythm is right the effort is minimal. I must get to 20 laps, without even panting. That is my goal for now.
This is my get away plan these days. I have decided to focus a lot of my energies on my work and on my personal life. I have changed a lot of my thinking. Now one year has passed in this organization. I have given the organization a direction that is potentially game changing. The organization would need to work on it. I need to work on it. More than anything, I realize that my team needs to now move a few notches higher. It is fine to give a strategy but it is even more amazing to implement it. I have one year of implementation ahead of me. Dogged head down, implementation. I know the firm does not right now have the money to really reward me. That is in many ways a good thing. I will do whatever I am doing because I want to do it, because I want to do it for the team and take them forward. I want to do it. I realize that it is my cross to carry. In the course of which, people will leave me, people will hate me, people will not be grateful, or even be annoyed by it. But I still need to do it. Do it for them, as I believe it is right. Do it for myself, as I believe it’s right. It is a tough burden to carry.
When you carry such burdens you realize, that no matter how good the support you have at home or at office, you are essentially on your own. That puts different pressure on you. Over the years I have learnt to not take too much pressure home with you. My bosses have also been kind enough to let me be thus. But I strongly suspect that the swimming and the squash and of course my beloved cricket has helped. If nothing else, I am completely ignorant of anything around me when I am pursuing these activities. I think it teaches a certain degree of equanimity, a certain calm and a certain meditative, reflective stance.
Whatever… I am living my childhood dream to be amongst sports. I think I am changing as a person. I think I might be getting a little better. I hope I am. Hopefully a more focused calm and controlled person. Just a little bit. I keep slipping back. But I must be better controlled. Sport is a great teacher and a greater metaphor. Let me keep at it. So help me all.