Life is more predictable once Jispa’s school starts. Waking up on time, sleeping on time, yoga on time and swimming on time. The whole thing is getting the routine as an integral part of the biological clock. I don’t know whether the routine is good and I like it or I get bored by it. It cuts both ways. The vacations allow for a far more relaxed and impulsive behaviour. Here the action only starts on Friday night and is necessarily over by Sunday afternoon. Sunday is an early to bed night.
The last week we were at our friends place for a house warming party. We stayed up till 2 am playing the popular party game – mafia. Getting home by 3 and then into bed to wake by 10. That is the perfect way to end the vacation. As a result of that late night, the house was all asleep on Sunday night by 9.15 pm. I get very excited when I get to sleep this early. I was cranky all vacation thanks to the late nights.
Early nights have been a bit of a jinx for me. There will always be something or the other disturbing me. Invariably if everything else works, Jispa will come in at night on some pretext or the other. But luckily that Sunday we slept well and through the night. Monday morning was a breeze.
The week though that followed was a mix with Jispa behaving like any kid and taking time to get up. Five minutes please, last five minutes, ok ok one minute, last minute…. And so on. I have to every time physically life her and get her to the bathroom. If at this time she makes one cranky sound then she is done for. After all the cuddling and waking and the lifting, the last thing I want to hear is the cranky sound. She knows that. Invariably she lets one slip and she gets a sharp reprimand. It will last a few days and then the cycle begins all over again.
But as I have blogged about before, the great thing is the quality time I get while I drop her off. Time to talk, have fun, enjoy in the car till the school bus comes. Today she generally popped one question of India and Pakistan were once great enemies? Were? I asked her. India is still at loggerheads with Pakistan and China. She then wanted to know how come. I thought that was an innocuous enough question with a straight forward answer. I was so wrong.
Luckily Jispa is not the type to keep asking stupid questions one after the other. But her ability to understand, grasp and relate is so awesome that it puts pressure on you to think through and talk. And so I kept talking, and talking, till just about when the bus came in. I think the story took a full ten minutes. How Muslims and Hindus were in India, then the moghuls came in and then the jazia tax, conversion. The Moghuls helped establish a large ‘Indian’ kingdom which was till then divided into many small kingdoms, then the British came in, they wanted spices, then they stayed on to rule, then they had this divide and rule policy, the dominion states and then independence, the great partition, the Kashmir issue and how we forever remained enemies. And then how we interfered in their East Pakistan issue, Bangladesh, a few wars….
Blah blah blah. It was so tough. Especially since I am not a history student and I know that what I know is a stupid one sided version that was taught in our text books. I try and be objective about the whole affair.
Sure there were conversions, but also the Hindus did not treat the poor too well, the ghettos developed and it brought about even more divisive force. It was quite a task trying to explain history and be objective.
I also realised while talking that how we talk about how we helped “Free” Bangladesh. Since when did interfering in your neighbour’s house with force and imposing your solution count as a noble cause? But then you had millions of Bngladeshies who were worse off as East Pakistan with little development and lots of poverty. I would never know the truth. What really happened? History text books were so dam bloody one sided to start with.
I want Jispa to do her own research and form her own opinions. I want her to contest text books and see things in a larger context. Understand the two sides to a coin. On man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.
So the problem is - not knowing the whole truth, trying to balance what you know, impart a lesson, a story, make it interesting and simple for a kid and teach them to form their own thoughts. What a freaking difficult task. What ever happened to ‘daddy knows it all and you cant dispute it’ parenting?
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
learn well
We have been struggling with Jispa’s classes. We believe in extra curriculars and the value of getting right guidance and opportunity early on but the sheer breadth of what she is doing is leaving us a little.. I don’t know a little worried, amused, sceptical, scared…
To list – she has a core activity in school. She learns taekwondo there twice a week. Then five days a week she goes to swim. Now thanks to the coaching she swims well and knows all the strokes. She is progressing well and swimming fast. I am happy. Swimming is something that would last her for life and a good swimming will help her keep fit. Thrice a week after the swimming class she goes for some badminton. That’s also a good thing. I guess.
We don’t know for sure if she can take all this physical exertion. It is tough and we are worried. But jasmine and I are quite clear; we are not pushing her to do all this. We keep asking her if she is enjoying all this. Doe she really want to do it? Is she getting tired at any point/ we don’t want to be parents who push the kid into all sorts of activities and punish the child. But Jispa is super eager and willing. She wants to do it and she enjoys it all.
We also realise that right now there is little school home work. Her pressure will start from the fourth or the fifth standard. Then she would have to give up some of her activities and concentrate on a just a few. Till then, Jasmine recons that she is free to have her fun. Also what helps is that this is all TV time that is being spent playing and training. She comes home to dinner and reading. Saturday Sunday is rest time and sometimes I drag her to the garden. She is active and loves that as well.
Recently she decided that she wanted to learn the guitar. Oh god. How and where. Jasmine figured that a friend had a sir coming home and was teaching the guitar to her kid. Jispa was quite eager to join. I have always wanted to learn music and one of my current thoughts was that both jasmine and I don’t know music. That is one thing that we would be absolutely unable to teach her. We have no clue.
As a kid once I decided I wanted to learn the guitar. My dad encouraged me and bought me a guitar. An expensive proposition in those days. It cost a bomb. I remember 500 bucks for a Givson guitar. I learnt it a bit but complete laziness in practice and no push and I started to flounder and completely missed that bus.
I have thought a lot about it since then. This was in the sixth standard. Why did I not learn? Was I just not made for it? Did I not enjoy it?
I think that learning anything requires a bit of pain and a lot of discipline. It did not come naturally to a sixth grader like me. I was a maverick in many ways. Could I have changed? i see so many households that music is an intrinsic part of their lives. They breathe music and it plays from every corner and every reason is a good reason to play or listen to music. For me music never held too much importance. It is nice and good but I could go on and live my life without music. I enjoy it but ... just that it isn’t that necessary as I see others live and breathe it. I was happy growing up to my brother and sister’s choice of music. I couldn’t care less. If it’s on – good, if its off good. I am not the type to ‘invest’ in a fantastic player.
Jispa seems to be enjoying her music. and I really did not want to say no to her for learning anything. Jasmine would shoulder a lot of the responsibility in taking her to the classes and ensuring she does pay attention. Jispa went for one class and came back eager for more. The time had come to buy her a guitar as there is no point going for classes once a week and not practising at home. A guitar for her would cost around three thousand. I had a chat with Jispa. I told her that it’s not the money. We can afford it and more. I don’t care about the money but if we are buying you a guitar you better practice it daily. I did not want any guilt feelings on her for spending money, but I sure don’t want her abandoning pursuits on a whim. That is something I refuse to let her do. So before sleeping every day, she has to practice a bit. I told her that I would insist on it and ensure mom insists as well. Sometimes we would scold her and make her do it, even against her wishes. She agreed and she got her brand new guitar.
I believe that kids are keen to learn new stuff but then tend to get bored by the long grind between knowing a bit and then experiencing the fun of then knowing a little more. This was the same thing in swimming and her other pursuits. You have to get through the second phase when the practice gets boring and you don’t get immediate results. Once you pass through this you tend to pick things and learn enough for what will stay for life. I guess that’s where the parent’s push comes in. Give the opportunity, push to ensure the boredom phase passes, and then back off. No pressure to perform. None from us. Pressure to learn well but don’t give great emphasis on performance.
My parents held me responsible for buying an expensive guitar and then letting go. That huge thing in the house kept reminding then that I quit. I won’t let that happen to Jispa. It came up in many conversations later. I guess I was at fault. But at least I know the mistake I made. At least I will let Jispa make new ones. I will for sure make new ones. No point forgetting old lessons.
Pushing and then backing off. Parenting is such a fine line that I never know where exactly to draw. actually its not a line its a zone kid of line. It merges slowly from one side to another. Makes sense? No?... Exactly.
To list – she has a core activity in school. She learns taekwondo there twice a week. Then five days a week she goes to swim. Now thanks to the coaching she swims well and knows all the strokes. She is progressing well and swimming fast. I am happy. Swimming is something that would last her for life and a good swimming will help her keep fit. Thrice a week after the swimming class she goes for some badminton. That’s also a good thing. I guess.
We don’t know for sure if she can take all this physical exertion. It is tough and we are worried. But jasmine and I are quite clear; we are not pushing her to do all this. We keep asking her if she is enjoying all this. Doe she really want to do it? Is she getting tired at any point/ we don’t want to be parents who push the kid into all sorts of activities and punish the child. But Jispa is super eager and willing. She wants to do it and she enjoys it all.
We also realise that right now there is little school home work. Her pressure will start from the fourth or the fifth standard. Then she would have to give up some of her activities and concentrate on a just a few. Till then, Jasmine recons that she is free to have her fun. Also what helps is that this is all TV time that is being spent playing and training. She comes home to dinner and reading. Saturday Sunday is rest time and sometimes I drag her to the garden. She is active and loves that as well.
Recently she decided that she wanted to learn the guitar. Oh god. How and where. Jasmine figured that a friend had a sir coming home and was teaching the guitar to her kid. Jispa was quite eager to join. I have always wanted to learn music and one of my current thoughts was that both jasmine and I don’t know music. That is one thing that we would be absolutely unable to teach her. We have no clue.
As a kid once I decided I wanted to learn the guitar. My dad encouraged me and bought me a guitar. An expensive proposition in those days. It cost a bomb. I remember 500 bucks for a Givson guitar. I learnt it a bit but complete laziness in practice and no push and I started to flounder and completely missed that bus.
I have thought a lot about it since then. This was in the sixth standard. Why did I not learn? Was I just not made for it? Did I not enjoy it?
I think that learning anything requires a bit of pain and a lot of discipline. It did not come naturally to a sixth grader like me. I was a maverick in many ways. Could I have changed? i see so many households that music is an intrinsic part of their lives. They breathe music and it plays from every corner and every reason is a good reason to play or listen to music. For me music never held too much importance. It is nice and good but I could go on and live my life without music. I enjoy it but ... just that it isn’t that necessary as I see others live and breathe it. I was happy growing up to my brother and sister’s choice of music. I couldn’t care less. If it’s on – good, if its off good. I am not the type to ‘invest’ in a fantastic player.
Jispa seems to be enjoying her music. and I really did not want to say no to her for learning anything. Jasmine would shoulder a lot of the responsibility in taking her to the classes and ensuring she does pay attention. Jispa went for one class and came back eager for more. The time had come to buy her a guitar as there is no point going for classes once a week and not practising at home. A guitar for her would cost around three thousand. I had a chat with Jispa. I told her that it’s not the money. We can afford it and more. I don’t care about the money but if we are buying you a guitar you better practice it daily. I did not want any guilt feelings on her for spending money, but I sure don’t want her abandoning pursuits on a whim. That is something I refuse to let her do. So before sleeping every day, she has to practice a bit. I told her that I would insist on it and ensure mom insists as well. Sometimes we would scold her and make her do it, even against her wishes. She agreed and she got her brand new guitar.
I believe that kids are keen to learn new stuff but then tend to get bored by the long grind between knowing a bit and then experiencing the fun of then knowing a little more. This was the same thing in swimming and her other pursuits. You have to get through the second phase when the practice gets boring and you don’t get immediate results. Once you pass through this you tend to pick things and learn enough for what will stay for life. I guess that’s where the parent’s push comes in. Give the opportunity, push to ensure the boredom phase passes, and then back off. No pressure to perform. None from us. Pressure to learn well but don’t give great emphasis on performance.
My parents held me responsible for buying an expensive guitar and then letting go. That huge thing in the house kept reminding then that I quit. I won’t let that happen to Jispa. It came up in many conversations later. I guess I was at fault. But at least I know the mistake I made. At least I will let Jispa make new ones. I will for sure make new ones. No point forgetting old lessons.
Pushing and then backing off. Parenting is such a fine line that I never know where exactly to draw. actually its not a line its a zone kid of line. It merges slowly from one side to another. Makes sense? No?... Exactly.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
one cause, two ideas
Reading is always cool. Its always fun to read an interesting book. But I completely love it when I get a series to read. When you like a particular topic and then you get two or three books one after another to read. My favourite example was when I read Wisdom of the Crowds, followed by The Search followed by The Google story. It seemed like a trilogy of sorts. They all contribute to a deeper understanding of the topic.
While a series in a particular topic is fun, I have had the greatest fun reading two books which are in opposition to each other. Their roots are so similar but the protagonist choose to take drastically different paths to reach what essentially be a single goal. A prophet of hate versus an apostle of peace. Forgive the clichés. But the two books I have had the greatest fortune of reading back to back are – Malcolm X and Invictus. One is the biography of Malcom X, the big black leader from US who spread hate against the ‘white man’ and the other is on how Nelson Mandela spread peace and reconciliation with the ‘white man’. Invictus was originally published as playing the Enemy. I think they changed the name once it got made into a movie ‘invictus’.
But the two books offer an interestingly stark opposite. Both the men faced discrimination thanks to the color of their skin. They both came back from their jail terms, completely changed. But I just loved how one preached hate and the other went out of his way to preach love. Their mission in many ways was the same… uplifting their people.
Malcolm X answer was to create greater differentiation. Change the religion, build higher walls and create greater cohesion. Though he seems to gave changed his world view after coming in from his trip to Mecca. But still there was still hate and anger in him. A rabble rousers with strong oratory skills. A debater who could twist and turn topics on its end. A bull dozer.
Contrast with Mandela who it seems had basic oratory skills. Whose greatest weapon was the charm offensive, who wanted to win hearts and reconcile with those who hated him. In the books he comes across as a shrewd but honest politician who smartly managed those around him to ensure they are enlisted for his greater cause.
Both books to my mind were a bit disappointing. As in they weren’t that bad but they had the potential to be absolutely great. But then on the other hand if they had used to much prose then they would risk being even more one sided than what they turned out to be. But still that is no excuse not to read them. I understood a lot about the segregation in both the countries, while it also helped me reinforce my stand on dialogue. Malcolm taught me what not to do and Mandela taught me what to.
As a kid I think I was fooled into thinking that those with the strongest and forceful argument said with the most emphasis is what is needed to succeed. All this would get enforced by the guys who win the debates and elocution competition. Complete emphasis on the style of debate rather than the substance. I have always felt that simple well thought of arguments are pretty much lost on the judge. The crowd and the judge fall for the Malcolm X of the speakers. These boys (like me) believe that just because they have superb oratory skills they can succeed in life. They use their power or talking and debate to get them out of shit all the time. Office are full of bosses that get swayed to powerful speeches and presentations. What is the substance of the same? How should one dig deeper and find a solution. How one should avoid rhetoric and focus on simple truths and principals that get you forward.
Over aperiod of time, I have come to slowly hate my argument skills. I find it irritating that I have to use empty arguments to make points. Simple concepts simply explained have no meaning for people. And I possibly am not patient enough. Sometimes I feel hat the means justify the end. Give them the oratory that they require and forget the small simple truths… as long as you know you are doing what’s right.
Similarly it is also difficult to sell some vendor internally if the vendor comes across a s timid sweet guy as oppose to the brash suit clad big show. Style is so dam important. There is no dearth of the flaky rascals who put so much emphasis on style and completely gloss over substance. They are obviously getting results and hence they continue to do what they are doing.
What to do. Stay at the grid… keep at it. and pray… books like this remind me that I must keep my guard. I must not let myself be misled by the flaky guy.. that’s easy. More importantly I must be aware of the simple sweet guy who possibly has more substance than anyone else. I have tried many of these in the past. They have invariably been good. They have given stellar results, but the bosses just do not seem to care. We will change the world for sure. Its take one soul at a time. One project at a time. We need to notice and support more Mandela’s and fewer Malcolms.
Clarification- I got nothing against Malcolm X. I think he seems to be a genuine but a bit confused guy. He was shot early before he could possibly understand himself. He was possibly as important to black America as another black leader. To my mind he was young blood led by someone. My emphasis is on their styles and the choice they took. To my mind both are heroes who tried to change the lives of their people. That is commendable enough. I just believe that one way is far superior to the other. I still believe in ‘gandhigiri’.
Also both are the truth, both had a reason, both had valid arguments. i dare say - a case of opposites reconciling. They did - I dont knwo how but in my mind they did.
While a series in a particular topic is fun, I have had the greatest fun reading two books which are in opposition to each other. Their roots are so similar but the protagonist choose to take drastically different paths to reach what essentially be a single goal. A prophet of hate versus an apostle of peace. Forgive the clichés. But the two books I have had the greatest fortune of reading back to back are – Malcolm X and Invictus. One is the biography of Malcom X, the big black leader from US who spread hate against the ‘white man’ and the other is on how Nelson Mandela spread peace and reconciliation with the ‘white man’. Invictus was originally published as playing the Enemy. I think they changed the name once it got made into a movie ‘invictus’.
But the two books offer an interestingly stark opposite. Both the men faced discrimination thanks to the color of their skin. They both came back from their jail terms, completely changed. But I just loved how one preached hate and the other went out of his way to preach love. Their mission in many ways was the same… uplifting their people.
Malcolm X answer was to create greater differentiation. Change the religion, build higher walls and create greater cohesion. Though he seems to gave changed his world view after coming in from his trip to Mecca. But still there was still hate and anger in him. A rabble rousers with strong oratory skills. A debater who could twist and turn topics on its end. A bull dozer.
Contrast with Mandela who it seems had basic oratory skills. Whose greatest weapon was the charm offensive, who wanted to win hearts and reconcile with those who hated him. In the books he comes across as a shrewd but honest politician who smartly managed those around him to ensure they are enlisted for his greater cause.
Both books to my mind were a bit disappointing. As in they weren’t that bad but they had the potential to be absolutely great. But then on the other hand if they had used to much prose then they would risk being even more one sided than what they turned out to be. But still that is no excuse not to read them. I understood a lot about the segregation in both the countries, while it also helped me reinforce my stand on dialogue. Malcolm taught me what not to do and Mandela taught me what to.
As a kid I think I was fooled into thinking that those with the strongest and forceful argument said with the most emphasis is what is needed to succeed. All this would get enforced by the guys who win the debates and elocution competition. Complete emphasis on the style of debate rather than the substance. I have always felt that simple well thought of arguments are pretty much lost on the judge. The crowd and the judge fall for the Malcolm X of the speakers. These boys (like me) believe that just because they have superb oratory skills they can succeed in life. They use their power or talking and debate to get them out of shit all the time. Office are full of bosses that get swayed to powerful speeches and presentations. What is the substance of the same? How should one dig deeper and find a solution. How one should avoid rhetoric and focus on simple truths and principals that get you forward.
Over aperiod of time, I have come to slowly hate my argument skills. I find it irritating that I have to use empty arguments to make points. Simple concepts simply explained have no meaning for people. And I possibly am not patient enough. Sometimes I feel hat the means justify the end. Give them the oratory that they require and forget the small simple truths… as long as you know you are doing what’s right.
Similarly it is also difficult to sell some vendor internally if the vendor comes across a s timid sweet guy as oppose to the brash suit clad big show. Style is so dam important. There is no dearth of the flaky rascals who put so much emphasis on style and completely gloss over substance. They are obviously getting results and hence they continue to do what they are doing.
What to do. Stay at the grid… keep at it. and pray… books like this remind me that I must keep my guard. I must not let myself be misled by the flaky guy.. that’s easy. More importantly I must be aware of the simple sweet guy who possibly has more substance than anyone else. I have tried many of these in the past. They have invariably been good. They have given stellar results, but the bosses just do not seem to care. We will change the world for sure. Its take one soul at a time. One project at a time. We need to notice and support more Mandela’s and fewer Malcolms.
Clarification- I got nothing against Malcolm X. I think he seems to be a genuine but a bit confused guy. He was shot early before he could possibly understand himself. He was possibly as important to black America as another black leader. To my mind he was young blood led by someone. My emphasis is on their styles and the choice they took. To my mind both are heroes who tried to change the lives of their people. That is commendable enough. I just believe that one way is far superior to the other. I still believe in ‘gandhigiri’.
Also both are the truth, both had a reason, both had valid arguments. i dare say - a case of opposites reconciling. They did - I dont knwo how but in my mind they did.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
dream a little dream
My method of teaching Jispa to combat nightmares is giving me nightmares. As I have earlier blogged, all I do is change the channel. Basically I can change my dreams at will. If the nightmare is getting to me I invent an interesting way to get off it. So when Jispa was first having nightmares I told her that you can simply change it.
So now she thinks about solving her nightmares. Yesterday night after a long time she came and woke me up in the middle of the night. “Dad” pat pat pat.. She had to get me to wake up. “Dad, I need to solve this bad dream”. Oh ok. It was a chase kind of sequence. A ha. I was lucky that’s the easy one. If someone is chasing you and you want to get away, all you have to do is think up some real easy thing – like a rope can appear from anywhere taking you out, or you can cross some river which they cant or something. It’s pretty simple. Some one can give you a magic potion that can turn them into something more benign. The chase ones are pretty cool. It all depends on the settings. Are you watching a sci-fi or an urban setting or a fantasy? There is always a lovely creative way out.
Jispa interestingly sees it or has interpreted it as ‘solving’ the bad dream. She looks for a solution to the dream. I am not sure if like me she can merely put the solution on the dream itself seamlessly. I think she has break it to solve it and bang its gone.
The tough ones for me are the abstract dreams, which give you the scare like nightmares. They … I don’t know… I think they kind of keep the heart rate up and tense your brain a bit. But all you dream is patterns, these repeating patterns create some kind of tension. It’s something I have had since I was a kid. Now I rarely dream them. I normally get them when I am unwell. So on some nights, probably after Chinese food dinners or something similar, when I get them, I tend to like them. I keep dreaming them. It’s like paying money to watch a horror film. More like a thriller movie. It keeps you on the edge. It’s kind of weird. These dreams I can’t will to happen but when they do I seize the moment. What I find funny is that as I write this blog I realise that I do all this in my sleep.
My wife finds all this pretty funny. She knows I am nuts in any case. This is one more proof. Both my sister and I can change dream channels. And my brother claims that he gets no dreams at all. What a weird family.
A ha… one dream I cannot change is being ill prepared for an exam. That one requires me to get up and remind my self that I need give those exams any more. I need to be semi awake and get my reassurance from my memory. Schooling has me permanently scarred. I don’t know how much else it gave me.
Yesterday I was speaking to a good friend. She was teaching her child to write while she was talking to me. The child was just a little under four. She was getting him to do home work. What shit? Home work for a 4 year old. that too on writing numbers. She was going nuts. I kept telling in the entire conversation to back off. She was like ‘the school is putting too much pressure. He needs to do this home work. It was to be submitted tomorrow. You don’t know. Tomorrow if he fails every one will ask me. And on and on.’ Poor thing. I know her. She is not like that as a person. It’s the school that made her so. It is the school which is putting the pressure on the mother to bring out the kali in her. At the end I left the argument with a simple advice. Do what you want to do and what you believe in. Please do not let the school do what you think you must not. You choose and try and keep the school out of your sphere of influence. That’s all. The penny sunk. She said yes. Wow. My day was made.
I try my best to think of my values, my thought process, and my beliefs. I try not to let the school, the peer and the others get in the way. Sure I am open to stimuli, but then that’s that… stimuli. It is easier said than done. You struggle all the time. You don’t know most of the time why you have acted. I try and keep centred when I am in trouble or in conflict while parenting. It is bloody difficult. But I know I must. I have to. I don’t want to give someone nightmares. No way.
So now she thinks about solving her nightmares. Yesterday night after a long time she came and woke me up in the middle of the night. “Dad” pat pat pat.. She had to get me to wake up. “Dad, I need to solve this bad dream”. Oh ok. It was a chase kind of sequence. A ha. I was lucky that’s the easy one. If someone is chasing you and you want to get away, all you have to do is think up some real easy thing – like a rope can appear from anywhere taking you out, or you can cross some river which they cant or something. It’s pretty simple. Some one can give you a magic potion that can turn them into something more benign. The chase ones are pretty cool. It all depends on the settings. Are you watching a sci-fi or an urban setting or a fantasy? There is always a lovely creative way out.
Jispa interestingly sees it or has interpreted it as ‘solving’ the bad dream. She looks for a solution to the dream. I am not sure if like me she can merely put the solution on the dream itself seamlessly. I think she has break it to solve it and bang its gone.
The tough ones for me are the abstract dreams, which give you the scare like nightmares. They … I don’t know… I think they kind of keep the heart rate up and tense your brain a bit. But all you dream is patterns, these repeating patterns create some kind of tension. It’s something I have had since I was a kid. Now I rarely dream them. I normally get them when I am unwell. So on some nights, probably after Chinese food dinners or something similar, when I get them, I tend to like them. I keep dreaming them. It’s like paying money to watch a horror film. More like a thriller movie. It keeps you on the edge. It’s kind of weird. These dreams I can’t will to happen but when they do I seize the moment. What I find funny is that as I write this blog I realise that I do all this in my sleep.
My wife finds all this pretty funny. She knows I am nuts in any case. This is one more proof. Both my sister and I can change dream channels. And my brother claims that he gets no dreams at all. What a weird family.
A ha… one dream I cannot change is being ill prepared for an exam. That one requires me to get up and remind my self that I need give those exams any more. I need to be semi awake and get my reassurance from my memory. Schooling has me permanently scarred. I don’t know how much else it gave me.
Yesterday I was speaking to a good friend. She was teaching her child to write while she was talking to me. The child was just a little under four. She was getting him to do home work. What shit? Home work for a 4 year old. that too on writing numbers. She was going nuts. I kept telling in the entire conversation to back off. She was like ‘the school is putting too much pressure. He needs to do this home work. It was to be submitted tomorrow. You don’t know. Tomorrow if he fails every one will ask me. And on and on.’ Poor thing. I know her. She is not like that as a person. It’s the school that made her so. It is the school which is putting the pressure on the mother to bring out the kali in her. At the end I left the argument with a simple advice. Do what you want to do and what you believe in. Please do not let the school do what you think you must not. You choose and try and keep the school out of your sphere of influence. That’s all. The penny sunk. She said yes. Wow. My day was made.
I try my best to think of my values, my thought process, and my beliefs. I try not to let the school, the peer and the others get in the way. Sure I am open to stimuli, but then that’s that… stimuli. It is easier said than done. You struggle all the time. You don’t know most of the time why you have acted. I try and keep centred when I am in trouble or in conflict while parenting. It is bloody difficult. But I know I must. I have to. I don’t want to give someone nightmares. No way.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
football
In some ways I hate Jispa’s vacation. It takes my morning schedule and throws it out of the window. Jasmine too believes she is on vacation further compounding matters. Hence thanks to that we don’t sleep early we wake up later and I barely get time for my morning yoga and swimming. I guess I have learnt not to fight it too much I just get on with it. I have decided it takes too much effort and will power on my side to break away from the family ritual and I stay on in bed and just about manage to amble in to office on time.
I am just dying for the school to start. Morning yoga and morning swim is just the right thing for me. I have been getting too soft and hopefully the coming Monday will see me back to the good old schedule.
To make matter worse the general uplift in work load means very little time for writing my blog. I like to come in a bit early and sit down and write before the office wakes up. So today I missed yoga and a swim but I managed to come in early just to write the blog. Somehow this blog has become an important creative release for me. I feel it gives meaning to some activity of mine. I don’t know. But its fun writing.
Talking about activity… no matter how much you exercise every sport is different and has its own nuances. On Saturday we had the intra office soccer tournament. It was a five a side affair with tiny grounds and small goal posts. Played in rain on grass, it makes for a wet, horribly soggy ground and a mud wrestle of a match. Its complete chaos. And after the tournament day you discover some muscles that you never knew you had. While walking the first time I felt that there was muscle a little over the shin and below the knee. Till now I thought it was all bone.
The reason I can feel this muscle on my right leg is because I am the defender. My job is to kick the ball right into the other half. The muddy ground makes passing impossible and the water soaked patches makes dribbling a farce. And in five a side there is no office rule. I learnt this lesson around five years ago. Just kick the ball over every ones head into the other side. Most teams make this mistake of dribbling and passing and slow short passes or solo runs by the star. The star player is simply supposed to hang around the opposite goal. Two defenders are enough to save almost any goal from the amateur sides. Especially when there is soo much muck floating around. Also with seven minutes a half, the referee is not going to blow the whistle often and on most fowls. You have to be blatantly dragging the guy down to really give away a foul. It is an ugly slug fight.
Some patches are so water logged that there is atleast a foot of water. We had one area near the goal post. There the forwards were fighting with the defender, the goalies joined in, no one really knows who is in which team, everybody is covered in brown. People are fighting and falling all over the ball. The goalie cant get a grip on the ball. At one point the defender had come sliding in, the goal had jumped over him, the attacker was down and eth ball… the ball was somewhere near the led of eth defender and under the stomach of the attacker. Then another defender comes in and tries to kick the ball which is under the stomach of the fallen attacker. All this in one foot of water, and the rain is still coming down hard. Finally the ref had enough and blew the whistle for dangerous play. Penalty. As a defender I was happy that the ball wasn’t kicked my way. I had tears in my eyes from all the laughing thank to the sight.
The penalty spot was in 4 inches of water. The attacker managed to put the ball there and he took a kick. What do you expect? The ball did not even reach the goal post.
That’s football for you. Good fun nah? Well it’s a male thing. All that physical exertion, hardly any skill, lots of mud and a general fight on hands.
I guess there is reason why we like cricket over football as a nation and I really don’t know what Girish says about Indian genetics and football :) (he does make sense) but all I know that I don’t see too many Indians falling over and rolling in mud trying to play this game. Like most writers without substantial proof I feel like saying ‘it’s too anti Brahminical to succeed in India’. But like most truths, I think the answer might be a curious mix and match of many more characteristics. Sometimes I believe it’s simply a case of lack of role models.
My brother used to play very good football. In fact he was given the haloed number ten jersey while he played at school. My mom told him that football will never sustain him as a career. While my sweet dad loved sports and tried to support him in his game, at some time he knew it was education that would hold him in his life not football. I don’t think our parents ever saw that it was possible to play football and make a career. My brother is only one. There were many such talented player who just about killed their talent and love with education. My guess is that only after Sachin really made it big and showed how its possible to play cricket and make money that so many parents supported their kid’s cricketing ambitions. Till about them most of the players who played for India generally belonged to the upper class.
Which makes me think. Do kids require role models or is it parents who require role models. A kid simply plays, it’s the environment that supports him or not, basis their own beliefs. Hmmm… I am thinking.
I am just dying for the school to start. Morning yoga and morning swim is just the right thing for me. I have been getting too soft and hopefully the coming Monday will see me back to the good old schedule.
To make matter worse the general uplift in work load means very little time for writing my blog. I like to come in a bit early and sit down and write before the office wakes up. So today I missed yoga and a swim but I managed to come in early just to write the blog. Somehow this blog has become an important creative release for me. I feel it gives meaning to some activity of mine. I don’t know. But its fun writing.
Talking about activity… no matter how much you exercise every sport is different and has its own nuances. On Saturday we had the intra office soccer tournament. It was a five a side affair with tiny grounds and small goal posts. Played in rain on grass, it makes for a wet, horribly soggy ground and a mud wrestle of a match. Its complete chaos. And after the tournament day you discover some muscles that you never knew you had. While walking the first time I felt that there was muscle a little over the shin and below the knee. Till now I thought it was all bone.
The reason I can feel this muscle on my right leg is because I am the defender. My job is to kick the ball right into the other half. The muddy ground makes passing impossible and the water soaked patches makes dribbling a farce. And in five a side there is no office rule. I learnt this lesson around five years ago. Just kick the ball over every ones head into the other side. Most teams make this mistake of dribbling and passing and slow short passes or solo runs by the star. The star player is simply supposed to hang around the opposite goal. Two defenders are enough to save almost any goal from the amateur sides. Especially when there is soo much muck floating around. Also with seven minutes a half, the referee is not going to blow the whistle often and on most fowls. You have to be blatantly dragging the guy down to really give away a foul. It is an ugly slug fight.
Some patches are so water logged that there is atleast a foot of water. We had one area near the goal post. There the forwards were fighting with the defender, the goalies joined in, no one really knows who is in which team, everybody is covered in brown. People are fighting and falling all over the ball. The goalie cant get a grip on the ball. At one point the defender had come sliding in, the goal had jumped over him, the attacker was down and eth ball… the ball was somewhere near the led of eth defender and under the stomach of the attacker. Then another defender comes in and tries to kick the ball which is under the stomach of the fallen attacker. All this in one foot of water, and the rain is still coming down hard. Finally the ref had enough and blew the whistle for dangerous play. Penalty. As a defender I was happy that the ball wasn’t kicked my way. I had tears in my eyes from all the laughing thank to the sight.
The penalty spot was in 4 inches of water. The attacker managed to put the ball there and he took a kick. What do you expect? The ball did not even reach the goal post.
That’s football for you. Good fun nah? Well it’s a male thing. All that physical exertion, hardly any skill, lots of mud and a general fight on hands.
I guess there is reason why we like cricket over football as a nation and I really don’t know what Girish says about Indian genetics and football :) (he does make sense) but all I know that I don’t see too many Indians falling over and rolling in mud trying to play this game. Like most writers without substantial proof I feel like saying ‘it’s too anti Brahminical to succeed in India’. But like most truths, I think the answer might be a curious mix and match of many more characteristics. Sometimes I believe it’s simply a case of lack of role models.
My brother used to play very good football. In fact he was given the haloed number ten jersey while he played at school. My mom told him that football will never sustain him as a career. While my sweet dad loved sports and tried to support him in his game, at some time he knew it was education that would hold him in his life not football. I don’t think our parents ever saw that it was possible to play football and make a career. My brother is only one. There were many such talented player who just about killed their talent and love with education. My guess is that only after Sachin really made it big and showed how its possible to play cricket and make money that so many parents supported their kid’s cricketing ambitions. Till about them most of the players who played for India generally belonged to the upper class.
Which makes me think. Do kids require role models or is it parents who require role models. A kid simply plays, it’s the environment that supports him or not, basis their own beliefs. Hmmm… I am thinking.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
when genius is bored
Today I was listening to one of the world’s greatest chess players, Anatoly Karpov (link). It was a nice interview. One thing he said found resonance in my thinking. He said he was bad at theory of chess openings. While it was a bad thing for chess player, he also says that not knowing the theory helped him fight back at apparently losing causes, resulting in a quite a few successes. The reason he did not learn them too well… ‘it was boring’. Not quite the answer you expect from a grandmaster, a champion that ruled for ten years.
Was the era different? Is it that in today’s environment you cannot effectively compete if you aren’t ruthless? Possibly he got beaten by Kasporav precisely because of that. May be, may be not. I am not a chess expert to explain that detail.
but I guess I might be a bit of hypocrite here. I like to enjoy my game and play what I like and enjoy and avoid eth boring stuff, but as a spectator I don’t quite like to see a team that does not necessarily put up the best.
It puts me at an awkward junction as a parent. Jispa is currently learning a few sports. Being thin and naturally athletic she tends to outperform her peers. Hopefully she might end up being good at what she does. But I don’t know how to push her. My philosophy has been not to push hard. Sure I will insist discipline on training, eating and competing but I really don’t want to push her. Enjoying what you do is most important. Both jasmine and I are on the same page here. We keep asking her, if she really wants to continue any sport. Only on hearing an emphatic yes do we continue paying the fees.
As a kid I wasn’t too athletic or gifted in many ways. My brother was the natural. My dad was ok with me doing what I want. So while I started a few things I was lazy and never managed to stick around for too much to any thing. Largely my fault. I regret not doing, not pushing then. If had pushed my parents I might have done better. If my parents pushed me, I might have done better.
As a parent I realise that. So we try and give maximum opportunities for Jispa. We want to ensure that the platform is there. Once she takes the call to do it, we ensure that we don’t let her slack off. If you do it you do it well. But at the same time, I don’t want her to get bored with what she does. It is difficult to motivate yourself for all the hard work involved but also at the same time you have to enjoy what you do.
Motivation at the end must come from within. Hence what’s right is to ensure as a parent, I press the right buttons. She doesn’t have to do it for me, but I have to make her aware if she wants to do it or not. The consequences of her having and not having desire must be laid out to her. So the whole aim must be to kindle that motivation, to ensure it’s internal, to have values of hard work and acceptance nay enjoyment of the pain it gives. If I guess we manage to get that in, we are done.
So where does that leave Karpov’s comment? Can only a genius say that and get away with it? It worked 30 years ago, now is a different ball game? If I want to be good at my job I can’t be bored by it, if I am bored at it then I need to get a different job. But a different job is not that easy hence do the job and don’t get bored by it. Find challenges inside of it, no matter how mundane. Are these answers or questions.
It is a delicate balance between the two.
But clearly Karpov enjoyed what he did enough to not do the part of it that he got bored by. It’s an interesting situation to be in. and its not that he was bad at it, he probably knew that he could afford to get bored by a section of it.
At the end of the post I am not sure what to make of it. But it does leave me with room for thought.
Was the era different? Is it that in today’s environment you cannot effectively compete if you aren’t ruthless? Possibly he got beaten by Kasporav precisely because of that. May be, may be not. I am not a chess expert to explain that detail.
but I guess I might be a bit of hypocrite here. I like to enjoy my game and play what I like and enjoy and avoid eth boring stuff, but as a spectator I don’t quite like to see a team that does not necessarily put up the best.
It puts me at an awkward junction as a parent. Jispa is currently learning a few sports. Being thin and naturally athletic she tends to outperform her peers. Hopefully she might end up being good at what she does. But I don’t know how to push her. My philosophy has been not to push hard. Sure I will insist discipline on training, eating and competing but I really don’t want to push her. Enjoying what you do is most important. Both jasmine and I are on the same page here. We keep asking her, if she really wants to continue any sport. Only on hearing an emphatic yes do we continue paying the fees.
As a kid I wasn’t too athletic or gifted in many ways. My brother was the natural. My dad was ok with me doing what I want. So while I started a few things I was lazy and never managed to stick around for too much to any thing. Largely my fault. I regret not doing, not pushing then. If had pushed my parents I might have done better. If my parents pushed me, I might have done better.
As a parent I realise that. So we try and give maximum opportunities for Jispa. We want to ensure that the platform is there. Once she takes the call to do it, we ensure that we don’t let her slack off. If you do it you do it well. But at the same time, I don’t want her to get bored with what she does. It is difficult to motivate yourself for all the hard work involved but also at the same time you have to enjoy what you do.
Motivation at the end must come from within. Hence what’s right is to ensure as a parent, I press the right buttons. She doesn’t have to do it for me, but I have to make her aware if she wants to do it or not. The consequences of her having and not having desire must be laid out to her. So the whole aim must be to kindle that motivation, to ensure it’s internal, to have values of hard work and acceptance nay enjoyment of the pain it gives. If I guess we manage to get that in, we are done.
So where does that leave Karpov’s comment? Can only a genius say that and get away with it? It worked 30 years ago, now is a different ball game? If I want to be good at my job I can’t be bored by it, if I am bored at it then I need to get a different job. But a different job is not that easy hence do the job and don’t get bored by it. Find challenges inside of it, no matter how mundane. Are these answers or questions.
It is a delicate balance between the two.
But clearly Karpov enjoyed what he did enough to not do the part of it that he got bored by. It’s an interesting situation to be in. and its not that he was bad at it, he probably knew that he could afford to get bored by a section of it.
At the end of the post I am not sure what to make of it. But it does leave me with room for thought.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
play on kid
Jispa had her elder cousin over at our place yesterday. They are now at an age where they can play with each other without the elder guy really irritating Jispa and Jispa is able to stand on her own. They tend to have their own brand of fun.
They both like a particular comic strip and they were playing a game inspired by it.
Here is one photo of them playing.
Did you get it? nopes? Possibly this one should help
How about this one?
This one?
Or this. Drat – missed them as well.
Come on… this one is a dead give away.
Now did you get the comic strip they are inspired from?
They are playing Calvin and Hobbes running off on a wagon …
now did you get the resemblance? its quite funny once you know.
They both like a particular comic strip and they were playing a game inspired by it.
Here is one photo of them playing.
Did you get it? nopes? Possibly this one should help How about this one? This one?Or this. Drat – missed them as well.Come on… this one is a dead give away.
Now did you get the comic strip they are inspired from?
They are playing Calvin and Hobbes running off on a wagon …
now did you get the resemblance? its quite funny once you know.Here they are after they bang the scooter into something or the other. It normally ends as a 'stunt'. Uncontrollable laughter follows.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
there is something about opposites that i love
gyan on the Natraj with reference to my blog title and previous blog.
source: http://www.hinduism.co.za/nataraj.htm
A strictly bounded body does not exist. Our roots go deep; we are anchored in the stars.
The biodance, the constant renewal of our body from the world outside, stands in playful contrast to our ordinary idea of death. We do not wait on death, for we are constantly returning to the earth while alive. Every living moment a portion of the billions of atoms in our body returns to the world outside. This constant streaming is so pronounced, so necessary for life, that the very notion of 'boundary' begins to appear as an arbitrary idea rather than a physical reality.
The dance of Shiva is considered an act of creation. It arouses dormant energies.This productive energy of the Absolute in its pristine strength represents the forces of evolution and involution, the appearance and disappearance of the universe.
Every aspect of life has two opposite entities. Deva is the divine principle and Bhuta is matter. Deva is light , truth and immortality; Bhuta is darkness, untruth and death. One is positive and the other is negative; one is life and the other is inertia. The cycle of life and death can only proceed when these two basic opposite forces, represented by the Devas and the Bhutas are finally reconciled. These two opposite principles are eternally in conflict (Daivasuram) but become reconciled in the body of Shiva. Their co-existence is expressed in the rhythm of Shiva's dance.
Natraj - the cosmic dancer - represents the constant biodance of life- creation, maintenance and transformation and indicates the perfect balance between life and death. Shiva's dance is the most inspiring and pragmatic act typifying the eternal rhythm which is the cause of the infinite creative process. Shiva is the presiding deity of the mind. The entire universe created by Shiva is his SHAKTI (Prakriti, or Nature) or energy. Shiva's dance movements represent the movement of his SHAKTI or energy.
source: http://www.hinduism.co.za/nataraj.htm
A strictly bounded body does not exist. Our roots go deep; we are anchored in the stars.
The biodance, the constant renewal of our body from the world outside, stands in playful contrast to our ordinary idea of death. We do not wait on death, for we are constantly returning to the earth while alive. Every living moment a portion of the billions of atoms in our body returns to the world outside. This constant streaming is so pronounced, so necessary for life, that the very notion of 'boundary' begins to appear as an arbitrary idea rather than a physical reality.
The dance of Shiva is considered an act of creation. It arouses dormant energies.This productive energy of the Absolute in its pristine strength represents the forces of evolution and involution, the appearance and disappearance of the universe.
Every aspect of life has two opposite entities. Deva is the divine principle and Bhuta is matter. Deva is light , truth and immortality; Bhuta is darkness, untruth and death. One is positive and the other is negative; one is life and the other is inertia. The cycle of life and death can only proceed when these two basic opposite forces, represented by the Devas and the Bhutas are finally reconciled. These two opposite principles are eternally in conflict (Daivasuram) but become reconciled in the body of Shiva. Their co-existence is expressed in the rhythm of Shiva's dance.
Natraj - the cosmic dancer - represents the constant biodance of life- creation, maintenance and transformation and indicates the perfect balance between life and death. Shiva's dance is the most inspiring and pragmatic act typifying the eternal rhythm which is the cause of the infinite creative process. Shiva is the presiding deity of the mind. The entire universe created by Shiva is his SHAKTI (Prakriti, or Nature) or energy. Shiva's dance movements represent the movement of his SHAKTI or energy.
see and tell
Indian museums are surely getting nicer. Nopes they aren’t doing anything new. They only seem to have allowed some private guy to sell handsets that give you a low down on the museums most interesting exhibits. That completely changed the way I saw the Prince of Wales museum in Mumbai. We have been through it twice with the handsets. These well produced audio tours are well produced and manage to give you interesting insights with an Indian accented person talking along with the right music and other sounds. It’s a proper two hour tour which completely opens up the museum for lay people.
We also pleasantly surprised to have the same service in the Delhi museum. The Delhi museum is nice with some very interesting exhibits. It is even air conditioned making it a perfect place for an afternoon refuge. We use the compulsory layover in Delhi, in between the Rajdhani arrival and the late even train departure to the hills as an excuse to see Delhi one monument at a time. I normally book an A/c cab to take us through the day. This time the cab driver had no clue where the museum was. He was a Delhi tourist driver and had never been to the place. I was quite surprised. Luckily I had the lonely planet handy and I showed him the location on the map. He remarked that he had never been here. He mumbled something about people normally wanting to go to appu ghar instead. He knew where that was. Haha. Same difference, I guess. Only thing is that the elephant here is around 5000 years.
So we went to the museum to find that it opens later in the morning. So some standard tomfoolery around rashtrapti bhavan and we managed to kill some time to hit the museum. Monuments are always interesting. Everytime I see the India gate I am quite amazed at the geometry. The straight lines that lead to the Rashtrapti Bhavan and I there is something right about what you see through the India gate if you stand dead straight. I am sure the Lutyens had visualised what you must see from the gate of the Rashtrapti Bhavan through the India gate and vice versa. The lines seem to fit so correctly. I tried showing that to Jispa. She seems to be appreciating my attempt to educate her. Haha.
We then hit the museum and had the audio tour guide us. I am no museum expert. But somehow it misses the aura and charm of the Mumbai museum. Possibly its the structure but the even the way the museum is designed or the stuff is exhibited, it somehow does miss the charm. There is little natural light and the whole place is badly lit. Almost a drab. As I had earlier blogged about – the highlight was what is believed to be the actual remain s of the Buddha. No idea why it isn’t so publicised. No one believes it when I tell them. I have to show the photograph.
Here am I with another exhibit. The Natraj. To me my fascination with it suddenly began when I decided to understand it further. To me it is the Indian equivalent of the yin and yan. The confluence of two opposing forces together in one frame. To my mind – in harmony. I don’t know if they are supposed to be in harmony in the Natraj, but for me it is something that yin and yan stood for, the belief that opposites must reconcile. One is merely a reason for the other. One cannot have one without the other. Nopes, I did not bother explain that to Jispa for now, but what I loved was explaining the damuru for the creation and the fire for destruction. The right hand in a mudra that symbolises protection, the other hand pointing towards the toe, and finally the stamp on top of the demon of ego and ignorance. I too don’t remember all the significance at all the times. The audio tours helps.
I am sure Jispa would not be able to retain it all but I guess the fun of being in a museum and discovering it all is something jasmine and I are very happy to have given her. We both attempt to explain and expose her to as many concepts as possible. We want her to ask many questions and seek many answers. I am happy answering but I guess I am at the happiest best when I finally don’t know. When her curiosity gets better of me and I am finally lost. That’s a victory.
Here is the ultimate photo. She is on her own trying to understand an exhibit. We were too tired to be involved in all. Not enough seating there, but Jispa wanted to see it all. He knows at last my response will, dont know, will have to ask Google.
PS: Why dont we have audio tours by age. Shouldn't the younger lot also have a custom designed audio tour?
We also pleasantly surprised to have the same service in the Delhi museum. The Delhi museum is nice with some very interesting exhibits. It is even air conditioned making it a perfect place for an afternoon refuge. We use the compulsory layover in Delhi, in between the Rajdhani arrival and the late even train departure to the hills as an excuse to see Delhi one monument at a time. I normally book an A/c cab to take us through the day. This time the cab driver had no clue where the museum was. He was a Delhi tourist driver and had never been to the place. I was quite surprised. Luckily I had the lonely planet handy and I showed him the location on the map. He remarked that he had never been here. He mumbled something about people normally wanting to go to appu ghar instead. He knew where that was. Haha. Same difference, I guess. Only thing is that the elephant here is around 5000 years.
So we went to the museum to find that it opens later in the morning. So some standard tomfoolery around rashtrapti bhavan and we managed to kill some time to hit the museum. Monuments are always interesting. Everytime I see the India gate I am quite amazed at the geometry. The straight lines that lead to the Rashtrapti Bhavan and I there is something right about what you see through the India gate if you stand dead straight. I am sure the Lutyens had visualised what you must see from the gate of the Rashtrapti Bhavan through the India gate and vice versa. The lines seem to fit so correctly. I tried showing that to Jispa. She seems to be appreciating my attempt to educate her. Haha.
We then hit the museum and had the audio tour guide us. I am no museum expert. But somehow it misses the aura and charm of the Mumbai museum. Possibly its the structure but the even the way the museum is designed or the stuff is exhibited, it somehow does miss the charm. There is little natural light and the whole place is badly lit. Almost a drab. As I had earlier blogged about – the highlight was what is believed to be the actual remain s of the Buddha. No idea why it isn’t so publicised. No one believes it when I tell them. I have to show the photograph.
Here am I with another exhibit. The Natraj. To me my fascination with it suddenly began when I decided to understand it further. To me it is the Indian equivalent of the yin and yan. The confluence of two opposing forces together in one frame. To my mind – in harmony. I don’t know if they are supposed to be in harmony in the Natraj, but for me it is something that yin and yan stood for, the belief that opposites must reconcile. One is merely a reason for the other. One cannot have one without the other. Nopes, I did not bother explain that to Jispa for now, but what I loved was explaining the damuru for the creation and the fire for destruction. The right hand in a mudra that symbolises protection, the other hand pointing towards the toe, and finally the stamp on top of the demon of ego and ignorance. I too don’t remember all the significance at all the times. The audio tours helps.
I am sure Jispa would not be able to retain it all but I guess the fun of being in a museum and discovering it all is something jasmine and I are very happy to have given her. We both attempt to explain and expose her to as many concepts as possible. We want her to ask many questions and seek many answers. I am happy answering but I guess I am at the happiest best when I finally don’t know. When her curiosity gets better of me and I am finally lost. That’s a victory.
Here is the ultimate photo. She is on her own trying to understand an exhibit. We were too tired to be involved in all. Not enough seating there, but Jispa wanted to see it all. He knows at last my response will, dont know, will have to ask Google.
PS: Why dont we have audio tours by age. Shouldn't the younger lot also have a custom designed audio tour?
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
see it slink
The slinky is one of the coolest toys ever to have been invented. The sheer simplicity and the magnitude of imagination involved from the child make it a winner. We were roaming around Rishikesh when I spotted a stall selling the slinky. It didn’t immediately strike me to buy it.On our way back I told Jispa that I will get for her a surprise. We stopped at the stall and bought her a slinky. One of the best thirty bucks I must have ever spent. Jispa took to it in an instant. Suddenly it became the Slinky. It had emotions, it had feelings, it could be put to bed, it needed to be played with, it danced, it loved doing something and did not love something else. It was full time pass for her and me. I told her that while I was a kid I too loved having a Slinky and I had to plead to get it. Times have changed and we have grown richer as well. So I guess her childhood would be slightly better than mine in some respects atleast.
Jasmine and I tend to talk to her like adults. Like a sponge se soaks it all up. Once I was talking about how prices rise and how the same thing over a period of time will cost more money and explained the term inflation to her. She not only understood it but also this time around while I was explaining that the cost of the slinky would have gone up, she said, dad dad… wait. Is that that thing you taught me.. in.. in ..in ..iflat or something.. inflation. Yess… its pretty cool. She likes to know the new words and new terms and I love explaining it to her.
Vacations are meant for that. we see stuff, I talk and explain stuff. We discuss concepts and science and a lot of GK. It is really very good fun. Vacations give concentrated time for doing this. It gives plenty of opportunity to explore and new things to see. It is not just relaxation but a lot of interaction.
One of the demands form my team in office was to get something from my vacation, that tey can keep in office. I searched for the most atrocious thing I could lay my hands on. I wasn’t going to get something sweet and cute for sure. While searching for eth atrocious, Jispa picked up the word and she loved it. She tried using it in a few sentences. She still does. What I finally ended up buying was not so atrocious as it was outrageous. A neon orange flying plastic hanuman.
Coming back to the slinky. Yesterday Jispa had a friend over from her class. Together purely for entertainment I got out some 30-40 books and created a staircase the slinky could jump from. It is the coolest thing ever. That alone resulted in 3 hours of fun for them. It was fun getting it right. The right height between the steps and the right width of each step for the slinky to climb down from. Super cool. Try it at home and be amazed for hours.
did I know that?
The bandh and a general state of mind that has helped me clear some of my immediate complexities has helped me overcome some of my writers block. It would be appropriate now to write a few more posts and keep my general average up there. The number is simple. One for every day at work. This is in many ways a daily purpose for me. For some reason it gives me meaning.
I also believe that writing a blog has helped me understand my own thoughts. It’s like talking to someone while explaining some stuff. Many times you also don’t kow its there till you blurt it out. And then you feel like a super smart guy. It is the same as having to remember your reading while you are having a conversation. Sometimes I am completely surprised by what I can recollect from what all I have read. There are so many books and if someone would ask me specific questions out of context on a particular book, I am always afraid that I might come up short. That I might not know a dam thing and all my reading is pretty superfluous and a put on.
Just yesterday I was making my profile. That too after a period of at least 8 years. I found it difficult and possibly it was lethargy that made me not make it. One push from a placement consultant tipped over the simmering discontent and I resolved to make one over the weekend. I decided that it won’t be as simple as the others I have seen but would allow for writing some interesting lines. One of things that I wrote was that if you want to know a bit of me you could access my goodreads account at http://goodreads.com/jaimit . As I checked it to see if the link was working, the first book that stared me in the face was ‘Simplexity’. While promising, it did not really go anywhere or did not have anything great to tell me. My mind was blank as I stared at the book. If the interviewer would go online and check the link and ask me from that book. I would probably draw a blank. With that book in hand I would possibly recollect a lot, but off hand it was that – a simple book that went nowhere. At least for me. The second and third books there also did not do me any good. Then some other books appeared down the scroll to give me a few breathing moments.
My philosophy has been simple while reading books. I cant recollect a lot of what I read but every book gives you one or two simple learnings that you could use somewhere. And that if you need something, you should be able to find it upon searching. That should be enough. It is always exciting for me when someone comes home and wants me to recommend books. I start off slowly but soon enough the connections come through and the recommendations start flowing. I suddenly realize what it is to be well read. I then take heart that my years of reading is not that much of a waste.
Years of? Well just about 6 years of reading. But that to me seems like a life time. all those books that gave me infinite amount of learning and I dare say wisdom. Today I know that my thinking has been strongly influenced by my reading. My ideas, my thought process, my views, my ability to balance my thoughts. It has taken my core, shook it a bit and settled it all nicely and neatly. The ‘mental jigsaw’ as someone once called it, is constantly changing and evolving. Sometimes it takes one sentence to shake it and re fit and sometimes you don’t even know that it has taken shape. You only realize it in hind sight when you think about your actions and thought process.
There is a great deal of significance I put on to thought process. I wonder if that is a good thing or it’s simply a case of too much thinking. I like to think about the basics. Some simple rules of thumb, some principles that aid thought process. But I like it and think its pretty cool. I cant understand those who cant. Till sometime back I thought they were just plain dumb or that their thought process was too undefined for it. But now I belive that its not so. There are som any who possibly don’t over think. They keep their mind free and uncluttered. They have simple principles that they too evaluate and change of a period of time. they just cant articulate it enough or are unable to talk at length about it.
We put too much emphasis on being able to talk and express and hence we have great orators as leaders. But if only put enough emphasis on understanding the person… what their real thoughts are… see if they fit the situation, see if they can be channelized, magic can happen. It’s easier said than done. It requires a lot more mere intent. The pressure is on us to know and dig forever and not take what the natural orators give us. Yesterday at class I gave my favorite assignment to the kids. Plot a simple graph for any industry explaining the relationship between profitability and marketshare. It helps the kids understand a lot. I can then explain profitability, marketshare and the industry dynamics. Most would plot a linear and direct relationship between the two. That is intuitive. The answer is a V shape curve which shows that the top three tend to compete with decent profitability with the next few in the ditch with far lower profits. The rear is brought up by niche players who cater to a smaller but well targeted group with lower expenses and possibly premium pricing. All driving up profitability. As usual we split the class into groups and we got a number of answers. The kids had to go onto the board and draw the same. There were ten groups with different number of kids in each. I drew ten graphs. For some reason only nine went on stage. I thought I had made a counting error. When I then analyses the graphs I remembered the missing one. Two girls, very nondescript, had drawn one on their notebook, which I had seen while I was on my rounds while the groups were discussing. They had drawn the V. but they refused to come on stage and draw it with the other groups. I had missed calling out to them and they refused to stand up when I asked if anyone was left. As is my style I destroyed all graphs including the correct one. Then I proceed to explain the theory from scratch and voila… we had a V on the board. I congratulated the two girls and bowed down to them. No one I had taught till now had got it in the first try. When on my rounds I had quizzed them on it, their theory was not well defined but the thought process was clear and in place. Not wanting to show emotions I merely walked away. Possibly they thought they were wrong and I had just been disappointed. But I was simply very very happy and impressed.
But it required me to be on my rounds. If I had given them the assignment and gone to make a phone call and come back to see the presentations, I would possibly never seen them and their graph. I would have missed them. I would have thought that the usual suspects who ask questions in class are the ones who know it all. They are the bright sparks, but hidden there amongst them might be gems of thought. Just because a few know how to argue, how to articulate, how to make a case, how make a show of it; they are not necessarily the ones. Very difficult. They choose to be quiet but it is up to us to make them talk. We would have to give them voice. For long corporate have given enough focus to the natural leaders but have simply ignored the thinkers who might not necessarily speak up. Either we go person to person and peep into their note books or we continue to give them a chance and an environment to speak up, we will be the poorer. It was a big lesson for me and I did not know if it till I began writing this blog. Funny nah. That is the power or writing. If you have no one to talk to them at least write. You would otherwise never have known what you knew all along.
I also believe that writing a blog has helped me understand my own thoughts. It’s like talking to someone while explaining some stuff. Many times you also don’t kow its there till you blurt it out. And then you feel like a super smart guy. It is the same as having to remember your reading while you are having a conversation. Sometimes I am completely surprised by what I can recollect from what all I have read. There are so many books and if someone would ask me specific questions out of context on a particular book, I am always afraid that I might come up short. That I might not know a dam thing and all my reading is pretty superfluous and a put on.
Just yesterday I was making my profile. That too after a period of at least 8 years. I found it difficult and possibly it was lethargy that made me not make it. One push from a placement consultant tipped over the simmering discontent and I resolved to make one over the weekend. I decided that it won’t be as simple as the others I have seen but would allow for writing some interesting lines. One of things that I wrote was that if you want to know a bit of me you could access my goodreads account at http://goodreads.com/jaimit . As I checked it to see if the link was working, the first book that stared me in the face was ‘Simplexity’. While promising, it did not really go anywhere or did not have anything great to tell me. My mind was blank as I stared at the book. If the interviewer would go online and check the link and ask me from that book. I would probably draw a blank. With that book in hand I would possibly recollect a lot, but off hand it was that – a simple book that went nowhere. At least for me. The second and third books there also did not do me any good. Then some other books appeared down the scroll to give me a few breathing moments.
My philosophy has been simple while reading books. I cant recollect a lot of what I read but every book gives you one or two simple learnings that you could use somewhere. And that if you need something, you should be able to find it upon searching. That should be enough. It is always exciting for me when someone comes home and wants me to recommend books. I start off slowly but soon enough the connections come through and the recommendations start flowing. I suddenly realize what it is to be well read. I then take heart that my years of reading is not that much of a waste.
Years of? Well just about 6 years of reading. But that to me seems like a life time. all those books that gave me infinite amount of learning and I dare say wisdom. Today I know that my thinking has been strongly influenced by my reading. My ideas, my thought process, my views, my ability to balance my thoughts. It has taken my core, shook it a bit and settled it all nicely and neatly. The ‘mental jigsaw’ as someone once called it, is constantly changing and evolving. Sometimes it takes one sentence to shake it and re fit and sometimes you don’t even know that it has taken shape. You only realize it in hind sight when you think about your actions and thought process.
There is a great deal of significance I put on to thought process. I wonder if that is a good thing or it’s simply a case of too much thinking. I like to think about the basics. Some simple rules of thumb, some principles that aid thought process. But I like it and think its pretty cool. I cant understand those who cant. Till sometime back I thought they were just plain dumb or that their thought process was too undefined for it. But now I belive that its not so. There are som any who possibly don’t over think. They keep their mind free and uncluttered. They have simple principles that they too evaluate and change of a period of time. they just cant articulate it enough or are unable to talk at length about it.
We put too much emphasis on being able to talk and express and hence we have great orators as leaders. But if only put enough emphasis on understanding the person… what their real thoughts are… see if they fit the situation, see if they can be channelized, magic can happen. It’s easier said than done. It requires a lot more mere intent. The pressure is on us to know and dig forever and not take what the natural orators give us. Yesterday at class I gave my favorite assignment to the kids. Plot a simple graph for any industry explaining the relationship between profitability and marketshare. It helps the kids understand a lot. I can then explain profitability, marketshare and the industry dynamics. Most would plot a linear and direct relationship between the two. That is intuitive. The answer is a V shape curve which shows that the top three tend to compete with decent profitability with the next few in the ditch with far lower profits. The rear is brought up by niche players who cater to a smaller but well targeted group with lower expenses and possibly premium pricing. All driving up profitability. As usual we split the class into groups and we got a number of answers. The kids had to go onto the board and draw the same. There were ten groups with different number of kids in each. I drew ten graphs. For some reason only nine went on stage. I thought I had made a counting error. When I then analyses the graphs I remembered the missing one. Two girls, very nondescript, had drawn one on their notebook, which I had seen while I was on my rounds while the groups were discussing. They had drawn the V. but they refused to come on stage and draw it with the other groups. I had missed calling out to them and they refused to stand up when I asked if anyone was left. As is my style I destroyed all graphs including the correct one. Then I proceed to explain the theory from scratch and voila… we had a V on the board. I congratulated the two girls and bowed down to them. No one I had taught till now had got it in the first try. When on my rounds I had quizzed them on it, their theory was not well defined but the thought process was clear and in place. Not wanting to show emotions I merely walked away. Possibly they thought they were wrong and I had just been disappointed. But I was simply very very happy and impressed.
But it required me to be on my rounds. If I had given them the assignment and gone to make a phone call and come back to see the presentations, I would possibly never seen them and their graph. I would have missed them. I would have thought that the usual suspects who ask questions in class are the ones who know it all. They are the bright sparks, but hidden there amongst them might be gems of thought. Just because a few know how to argue, how to articulate, how to make a case, how make a show of it; they are not necessarily the ones. Very difficult. They choose to be quiet but it is up to us to make them talk. We would have to give them voice. For long corporate have given enough focus to the natural leaders but have simply ignored the thinkers who might not necessarily speak up. Either we go person to person and peep into their note books or we continue to give them a chance and an environment to speak up, we will be the poorer. It was a big lesson for me and I did not know if it till I began writing this blog. Funny nah. That is the power or writing. If you have no one to talk to them at least write. You would otherwise never have known what you knew all along.
the joy of listening
On Sunday, I had a lecture to give at the college I teach. It being a rainy day I had left well in advance. We wouldn’t want the professor to be late on his first lecture do we? What message do we send out? Hence I ended up being an hour early. As a backup I taken a book along that I had an opportunity to read at the college. Sitting on the steps at the entrance it was good fun to read a book. I was well sheltered from the almond tree. The almond fruit had come close and it kept dropping from the tree, one every minute. At first I thought it was the crows or some other birds that kept eating and throwing them down, but on closer inspection I figured it was just the rain and wind pushing the ripe fruits. They were squashed exactly on the side they fell. It was quite nice, sitting at the college steps on a Sunday, reading a nice book, mild rains and the fruit dropping. The only thing wrong was the horrible ready mix tea that I was having. Sweet and completely off taste. Ready mix tea is the most horrible thing ever. No wonder at many meetings the guests ask if we can serve brewed tea as opposed to machine tea. Complete rubbish. I guess the companies don’t realize that they are turning generations off by giving them bad tea and they will probably never be able to savor the aroma of good tea, thereby helping them cultivate the taste. Short term thinking at its best.
I got talking to the security guard at the steps. The college I teach is the same one I went to and most support staff would know and recognize me. This guy though came in after my time. he knows me as the professor and not a student. He confirmed with me what he had heard... I was indeed from the college. Some other peon had told him so.
Over the years I have perfected the art of prodding and listening and challenging. Speaking to people about their job gives me immense pleasure. They are obviously best placed to talk the most and with authority on what they do every day for a living. Hearing their life, anecdotes, learnings, experiences enriches me immensely.
Pushing him a bit I learnt that on one of the floors there was a session happening for some Landmark. I had no clue. He was explaining some of the stuff he saw – different things happen there. Many people come there to improve their lives. They talk and try and ‘rehabilitate’ people. He said that one of the drivers had told him that his boss had completely changed after attending this session. He was a guy who would finish his work and then roam around till 3 am in bars and have a colorful night life. But the forum helped him change his ways and he now heads home post his work. Another thing was that during the three day seminar during lunch break, everybody would come out and would be making calls to their near and dear ones. They would be crying and apologizing and be completely emotional. No one would be in any mood to eat but will be supporting each other. Another instance was of a kid who had come with his dad. The kid after some time walked out and told his dad that he is not going to be any part of this forum. He was not going to talk about his issues in front of strangers. In a bid to convince him, another uncle asked him if he knew where he was heading next year? To which the kid responded saying he hasn’t seen the next year and no one has. Who knows what the circumstances will be. Stop planning or thinking. As in Hindi they say – kal kisne dekha hai? He wondered and I concurred, what would the caliber of the person addressing these seminars that he would have such a powerful effect on the people. I wonder… though I am not convinced that this is for me, it seems to be making some progress with a lot others. Probably I am too arrogant to accept or I probably have never seen the other side. It seems to be giving some people a lot of hope or direction.
We quickly moved on to another topic. He was explaining that kids don’t wear their i-cards to college. The i-cards are now giving out corporate style. They have a lanyard attached to them. He was also lamenting that there is no real way to verify the kids faces from the icards. Especially the girls. He said that if he had a closer look at the photos he risks a complaint being filed by the girls on harassment.
I wish the college simply heard all the constituents while designing different rules and regulations. The lanyard is an ugly looking thing. Anything that one wears, one is quite choosy. As it reflects one self expression. I don’t blame the kids for not wanting to wear that horrible plastic piece. The icard itself is ugly looking and the lanyard leaves no scope for self expression. The same problem is in office. People don’t wear the company giving icards. Once we had an external event and designed icards with different lanyards for the event. At some events we did nice two toned ones and at other we did different colors. We had a few left over and I was wearing a new color every day. Soon enough I had enough people asking me, accosting me at the aisles for one for them. Quickly I was down to one. Some of them were the ones who never wore any icard but were now flaunting theirs thanks to a new ‘different’ lanyard. Another killer app was that this lanyard had a clip on it. So you could wear it by clipping it like a necklace as opposed to putting it over your head, risking you spoiling your hair style. Simple innovation working for you.
Its surprising that we miss the obvious. We do all sorts of things and campaign to get people to wear the icard but problem lies elsewhere. Once we recognize that the icard if worn is as much a tool of self expression then we will change our mentality towards it. I bet that far beyond getting compliance, I can get enough students to pay a hundred bucks to pick from a lanyard of their style. Different colored ones, some with beads, some with badges or some thick, some thin. I also bet that most students will end up with more than one purchase in a year. Compliance will go up, coolness will happen. Hmmm. It’s an interesting project to take up.
I am so much in love with this idea, that one I even told the corporate CSR about it. They have a problem getting employees to sign on the Corporate Social Responsibility platform. They even have a problem with employees at blood donation drives. My recommendation was that every person who signed up or donated got this sexy new lanyard that was different from the rest. It not only gave instant gratification that showed him in a new light but also helped be a walking talking ambassador for you activities. The best way to spread good is the demonstration effect. Then later you could always add on badges that he could put on his lanyard for all the great stuff he contributes to the larger cause. But then… sigh… never mind. I will use this idea once… somewhere else. .. some other time.
I got talking to the security guard at the steps. The college I teach is the same one I went to and most support staff would know and recognize me. This guy though came in after my time. he knows me as the professor and not a student. He confirmed with me what he had heard... I was indeed from the college. Some other peon had told him so.
Over the years I have perfected the art of prodding and listening and challenging. Speaking to people about their job gives me immense pleasure. They are obviously best placed to talk the most and with authority on what they do every day for a living. Hearing their life, anecdotes, learnings, experiences enriches me immensely.
Pushing him a bit I learnt that on one of the floors there was a session happening for some Landmark. I had no clue. He was explaining some of the stuff he saw – different things happen there. Many people come there to improve their lives. They talk and try and ‘rehabilitate’ people. He said that one of the drivers had told him that his boss had completely changed after attending this session. He was a guy who would finish his work and then roam around till 3 am in bars and have a colorful night life. But the forum helped him change his ways and he now heads home post his work. Another thing was that during the three day seminar during lunch break, everybody would come out and would be making calls to their near and dear ones. They would be crying and apologizing and be completely emotional. No one would be in any mood to eat but will be supporting each other. Another instance was of a kid who had come with his dad. The kid after some time walked out and told his dad that he is not going to be any part of this forum. He was not going to talk about his issues in front of strangers. In a bid to convince him, another uncle asked him if he knew where he was heading next year? To which the kid responded saying he hasn’t seen the next year and no one has. Who knows what the circumstances will be. Stop planning or thinking. As in Hindi they say – kal kisne dekha hai? He wondered and I concurred, what would the caliber of the person addressing these seminars that he would have such a powerful effect on the people. I wonder… though I am not convinced that this is for me, it seems to be making some progress with a lot others. Probably I am too arrogant to accept or I probably have never seen the other side. It seems to be giving some people a lot of hope or direction.
We quickly moved on to another topic. He was explaining that kids don’t wear their i-cards to college. The i-cards are now giving out corporate style. They have a lanyard attached to them. He was also lamenting that there is no real way to verify the kids faces from the icards. Especially the girls. He said that if he had a closer look at the photos he risks a complaint being filed by the girls on harassment.
I wish the college simply heard all the constituents while designing different rules and regulations. The lanyard is an ugly looking thing. Anything that one wears, one is quite choosy. As it reflects one self expression. I don’t blame the kids for not wanting to wear that horrible plastic piece. The icard itself is ugly looking and the lanyard leaves no scope for self expression. The same problem is in office. People don’t wear the company giving icards. Once we had an external event and designed icards with different lanyards for the event. At some events we did nice two toned ones and at other we did different colors. We had a few left over and I was wearing a new color every day. Soon enough I had enough people asking me, accosting me at the aisles for one for them. Quickly I was down to one. Some of them were the ones who never wore any icard but were now flaunting theirs thanks to a new ‘different’ lanyard. Another killer app was that this lanyard had a clip on it. So you could wear it by clipping it like a necklace as opposed to putting it over your head, risking you spoiling your hair style. Simple innovation working for you.
Its surprising that we miss the obvious. We do all sorts of things and campaign to get people to wear the icard but problem lies elsewhere. Once we recognize that the icard if worn is as much a tool of self expression then we will change our mentality towards it. I bet that far beyond getting compliance, I can get enough students to pay a hundred bucks to pick from a lanyard of their style. Different colored ones, some with beads, some with badges or some thick, some thin. I also bet that most students will end up with more than one purchase in a year. Compliance will go up, coolness will happen. Hmmm. It’s an interesting project to take up.
I am so much in love with this idea, that one I even told the corporate CSR about it. They have a problem getting employees to sign on the Corporate Social Responsibility platform. They even have a problem with employees at blood donation drives. My recommendation was that every person who signed up or donated got this sexy new lanyard that was different from the rest. It not only gave instant gratification that showed him in a new light but also helped be a walking talking ambassador for you activities. The best way to spread good is the demonstration effect. Then later you could always add on badges that he could put on his lanyard for all the great stuff he contributes to the larger cause. But then… sigh… never mind. I will use this idea once… somewhere else. .. some other time.
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