brain fry - stuff on moral science

What a bloody brain fry. The issue of morality and ethics is complete brain fry. The fun bit is that people with the least knowledge have the highest volume of opinion on the same. This is a topic fraught with so much controversy and it requires some amount of deep thinking to come to any conclusion on the same. In any case I don’t think one can come to any conclusion as regards the same. It can only be a matter of opinion at a given point of time. What on earth are morals? They themselves have changed over a period of time with the bar on what is acceptable constantly changing. The views change depending upon your religion and orientation. Everything is so subjective… and then we have this taught in schools by the teachers who all think moral science is so dam easy. Take care of your parents, respect the elders, speak the truth and don’t --- don’t practically everything you enjoy doing.

To my mind most of the moral science classes were taken by the class teacher or the teacher with an hour to spare. Science and math were probably the hep subjects with those teachers being the rock stars. Moral science teacher being a rock star? That one was the simple one with a stupid workbook to solve. Most of the teachers who are used to teaching that there is one answer to a solution were ill equipped to teach the changing nature of moral climate and the complete dynamic nature of it interpretation. I am sure no moral science teacher would have even heard about, leave alone dared to teach about the trolley problem. The trolley problem in its simplicity is as below but there are many various levels to it, which can be found online. Google them.

“There are two basic trolley problems. The first problem, invented by a philosopher called Philippa Foot, is that a trolley is going to kill five people on the rails. The question is whether you should turn the trolley onto another set of tracks on a spur where there is just one person. So you can save five lives at the cost of one life. Almost everyone, when you ask them that question, says you should do that and kill the one person.

Another moral philosopher called Judith Jarvis Thomson came up with another trolley problem, the “fat man” problem. The trolley is going along as before, and is going to kill five people. But this time you’re on a footbridge, and you can stop the train by pushing a fat man onto the tracks, who is so large that his bulk will stop the train and save the five lives. The question, again, is whether you should save five lives by sacrificing one. But 90% of people think it’s wrong to push the fat man.”

 I got this from an interview I was reading today. It was quite an interesting one and I would recommend it for all. http://www.salon.com/2012/12/26/when_is_it_ethical_to_kill_somone/ .

As a young kid I had a very simple approach to moral science. Like most idiots I too had a black and white approach to it. And I think that was encouraged and appreciated. You should always speak the truth; you should always blah blah… and so on. The basic principal being that there are one set of moral values that are universal and all pervasive. Some things are wrong and some things are right. Full stop. Moral Science is not a place for debate. As I learnt much much later at my own cost and on my own experience –things are not so simple.

Today morning at the swimming pool we saw a crow dipping a ‘ghatia’, (fried snack), in the water and then eating it. a lot of people have takent o feeding crows in Mumbai and the popular choice is ghatias. With me were two very religious Jain friends. My view is that feeding a scavenger home made fried food was a little out of line. The topic moved to the various well meaning ‘kabutar khanas’ in the cities. At these places, religious folks buy grain and feed them to the free pigeons. While giving them life, some research believes that this is causing an upset in the circle of life and causing the sparrow population to dwindle. Hah! Tell that to the well-meaning Jain folks coming out of the temple and doing their good deed for the day. Ethics have a similar ripple effect. There are millions of unintended and unimagined consequences of what we do and the actions we take.

Debate becomes the most important point of this thinking. Everything must be preceded by an internal debate in your mind. What is right and what is wrong. Under what circumstances has the action been taken before we sit to pass judgment? We require a cool head, deep introspection an open mind and a belief in the subjectivity of things to take a final call. This is possibly too much to ask for. I wonder why?

Currently given the fast pace of life at work and in personal life, pace is given priority over measure. And I have no issues with that. I too am a firm believer in pace. What’s the point of being paralyzed by analysis? But decision does not mean end of debate. I am not saying that subjectivity should slow you down, only that recognizing that subjectivity is present will help you think better, build bridges and open your mind.

But forget that. I think all this is too much to ask for in anyone, including myself. The philosophy at its extreme almost questions everything that we take for real, including the holy grail of the love that the mother has for a child. How did I lead here – well that’s for another day. But if you build the argument in your head, you can question everything, find a motive behind everything and question every action. Forget. It’s too much to think.

Right now also my head is reeling under all these questions. For me the simple answer is subjectivity. There is no truth, no absolute truth and no set of codified laws written on tablets to be followed. Sue your own moral compass. Do what you think is right. At that time. At that moment. Understand the moral principles governing society, and choose what you want to do. Do you want to be a rebel and turn them around or do you want to quietly cede ground or do you want to live in a duality. How people do you want to offend and how many do you want not be pissed off? I don’t think these questions were asked of us in moral science class. In fact no bloody question was asked. We were simply told what is right and what is wrong. I wish it was so dam simple.

Whose incentive is it?

I went out for fresh coconut water with a colleague. On the way, we saw this.

I told my colleague that this was the best argument for capitalism. She was like – what, how, what was I talking about? The lady brooming the street you see is not a government employee. She is an entrepreneur. She is the lady who sets up a stall in the day selling buttermilk. She typically sells it for the tired and sweaty commuters as well as the office folk who walk out after lunch. And she mixes her buttermilk right there. Since she sells food stuff, she obviously likes the place to be clean. Office goers like to drink buttermilk in a place they assume to be clean and hygienic. She doesn’t want dust flying about. After she finished brooming she splashed water on the street so that the remaining dust settles down as well. She did a good job of keeping her environment clean.

A case of where the government fails miserably while the private sector does a great job free of cost, without prodding. Economic interests dictate human behavior. The sweeper hired by the government has no incentive to sweep well. If had done his job she wouldn’t have had the need to clean the place. But the fact is simple, the way it is structured, the lady has an incentive to clean up and the sweeper has no incentive to clean it. Incentives. We simply respond to incentives.

I was listening the other day to a freakonomics podcast on incentives and children. How you must incentivize good behavior. Some study they did and it showed that kids respond well to incentives. No surprise here. But another interesting thing that a typical parent with a girl will tell you – they found no correlation between incentives and young girls responding. The girls were sweet or behaved because they wanted to and not because they were incentivized. I can tell you from experience and from other parents talking – you can’t really give girls money and ask them to behave. You can’t cut their pocket money for bad things and stuff. We tried a lot of things with Jispa – giving cash, interest and stuff. Nothing worked. She will best respond to emotional blackmail not money. That’s the way sweet girls are. To make her do something I have to make a face not reach for my wallet. Oh lovely girls. They are the best!

what you sow, so will you...

Yesterday we had the good fortune of going for the special exhibition of artifacts from Egypt, courtesy of the British Museum which had collaborated with Mumbai’s own Prince of Wales Museum. Normally the Mumbai museum all these years was a very staid place with little changing but the quality of exhibits kept me going and I loved taking Jispa there. First we used to take her to the Natural history section, then we took her often to the other parts of the museum. I loved rediscovering the museum with her.

Of late the museum is begging to get a new lease of life. It seems that is courtesy the new museum director who is proactively trying to do stuff. There are small small activities like getting your favorite animal rubber stamped at a table near the section or a stamp of some symbol or something. Next to it is a donation box in exchange where you can put in whatever amount you want, in return for getting a card with the rubber stamps. There is also a place where you get yourselves some head gear and get yourself photographed in in. the last time we went to the museum, we had visited the special exhibition from China which had two original soldiers on display from the famous terracotta army.

This time the Egypt exhibition was in a class of its own. There was a ton of PR preceding the exhibition. It’s here on display for around six months so there is adequate time for a lot of people to see it. AS we approached the entrance we saw there was a counter for the audio tours, reasonably priced at 70 bucks a guide. We took three as we were three adults with four children. After we had taken it and paid up we saw one counter where one young lady was sitting with an official badge. Over her head was a sign announcing guided tours in Hindi, English and Marathi. I asked the young lady if we could get a guided tour. She said of course. In English? I asked. Yes. Ok cool we are on. So I told my group that we have a guide and off we went on the tour. Our guide, Stuti was a young first year arts student. She was amongst the best guide we ever had. She held the attention of four kids, explained the Egyptian terms to them in an easy manner while using words like cool, dudes, rocking, silly etc while questioning the attention of the kids by asking questions of stuff she had already said. She rocked. She was patient for the complete 2 and half hours we took. The exhibition was also lovely with a lot of artifacts and around 4 real mummies. Wow. That is so cool. At eth end, Spoke to her “thank you Stuti, it was lovely. Do we owe you anything”. “nopes, she said, its free”. “ok, would it be appropriate if we still gave you something”. “no, no. but thanks a lot” she said with a  lovely smile.  Cool. We left thinking what a swell job she did. And not for money or any tip, but because she wanted to do a great job. While we walked out we saw a corner selling some Egypt branded curios of decent quality. We thought we should buy her something. So we bought a note book with the kids signing and writing some stuff at the back page and we got the kids to gift it to her. She resisted a while, but then Jasmine explained that it’s only a book and it’s signed with some notes, so she could actually accept it.

That experience left me with some hope. The museum is changing and what I understand is that it’s because of its new director who is trying to bring about change and bring it into the people’s realm and imagination. The staff also suddenly seem very polite and welcoming. Things are changing. If the museum can change thanks to the effort of one man, then a lot can.

Today I was discussing with HR. On Monday we had a Christmas celebration with some games to be played in the evening. Very few turned up and we finally had teams after we sent some emissaries to drum up guys to play. All those who played, played heartily and had a great time. The HR chic was complaining that we are like this only. No one comes. I explained it’s the culture of our firm and this culture comes from the top. While we played, which cabin guy on the floor except me was enthusiastic about the games? People only do what they think they are expected to do. You will party and then be jammed for it or be typecast for it. Who would then want to come in and play? Do the bosses actually want you to enjoy or play lip service to HR initiatives? It’s almost like these fun and games are for non-serious, non-managerial staff. Why would people come?

All these years I have learnt, change comes from the top. One man with energy like the Museum director can bring about change and enthusiasm that can possibly help a million others dream. Jispa now knows (and me of course) what exactly does a Mummy look like. My team knows that taking part in fun events is good and that helping HR organize like their boss does is an even better thing. Go out, do stuff. Change start from you, especially if you are higher shit. Like I told the HR lady, which father is the right guy, the one who says – here is ten bucks enjoy your vacation or hey, it’s your vacation, let’s go and play in the garden. You get the culture you deserve.

I can, i really can, see this...

Paintings. I love people who can paint, people who have control over their hands. I could never paint for anything. The colors would run into each other, the paper would get extra wet, the table would get messy, we would not have enough space, my mind would run faster than the pain and generally, it would be a really bad job. And invariably I would do something wrong and then try to patch it with something else and before you know it my masterpiece is finished.

Jispa has been using Jasmine’s new smart phone (galaxy note) to paint. She uses one of the aps to draw and color stuff. Once on the vacation when I had time, I drew some stuff along with her. I tried to teach her different ways to look at things. Some little imagination. Not that I am a great art teacher. I am possibly a bad teacher but at least I could improve her tree. After which I have been thinking about fiddling with my phone. Also in the meanwhile I discovered Instagram and the fun you could do to pictures. And then some more searching revealed the recently launched pixelexpress which lets you fiddle around like crazy with the mobile phone. Many years ago V-inu and I had been to the ardh-kumbh mela in Allahabad and we met a photo journalist. An absolute brilliant photographer who only moved around the whole day with a camera with a 50mm lens and would shoot stuff. I was the amateur, while V-inu was the budding enthusiast and Ben was the champion. The rule they had in photo journalism was that once you click it you can tinker around it with too much. Cropping was ok, but adding stuff was a strict no no. Ya sure. But now I am discovering the fun world of cell phone timepass. I click, I edit, I add effects, colors and have fun. Its opened up a brand new creative side of me that I knew existed but never understood how to use. And I fiddle with two softwares to get the desired effect.

After Jispa started using the phone to paint, I was hunting for a painting software. I downloaded one a few days back. It’s not that great and intuitive but it was pretty decent and once you get the hang of it you kinda get used to it and the different stuff you can do with it. So o played around with it entire day yesterday. I managed to paint something. Amongst the little stuff I could paint – a sun on the horizon and a tree in the foreground. Then I finished my painting and then used the photo editing software to fiddle with it, change the contrast, add some texture, change the light, the focus and the border… and voila… there is a ‘painting’ that I am proud of. It’s not that great, but it looks like a painting to me. It’s what I wanted to paint. That is it. It’s mine, all mine. My imagination, not copying anyone else’s or anything else. It’s beautiful as I see it. Man I am so proud of it. I kept showing it to Jispa. Jispa was like “you really like it, nah?” Yes of course. I love it. It’s not the painting… it’s the fact that now I could paint. I could express myself in some way. I could in effect create something. I feel like a child showing off my first big painting. Yes I CAN PAINT!.. yipeee. This stuff is strong and powerful. Its feels light and liberating. Here is the painting or should I say pic…

This stuff is likely to grow. You are likely to get more such stuff done by simple people off the road. I always maintained that in the new world you did need to know how to paint. Powerful softwares like corel or photoshop will help you achieve everything you wanted to. But now I want to see this – school children learning to paint on their tablets. No need to buy colors or paint brushes and no remarks in the diary – ‘paints not brought’. Ya my arts teacher actually used to write that remark. Just paint.

You know the real killer app of the software is the ‘undo’ button. I used it so much. I kept painting, kept undoing, kept experimenting, kept undoing…. Wow. This is so cool. Now I think I will even take photos and mash them up with the sketching tool and get something cool! It so unburdens creativity. Now I guess I understand how Steve Jobs was so cool and how he made a profound impact on the world as we know it. Design… the ease of use of technology, the simplicity of applications… all these must be credited to him. Yes. I use android but I know all this is a gift from him, his vision and inspiration led to all of this. You have to give it to him. I bow to you. thanks.

Buddha mode

Sometimes my brains can just get shot. And it explodes on unsuspecting innocent guys trying to do their job. Usually at the bottom rung of the hierarchy. For example the security guards, who follow the letter of the law and choose to not exercise their grey matter. But of course I would be very worried, given the demographics and the psycho-graphics of the security guards employed, if those jokers started exercising their brains. I get great kicks in doing small stupid things, like for example writing my name as Amitabh Bachchan in the visitor’s book. My inspiration is one movie scene where the hero is going to a hotel and the clerk at the check in asks him for his name, to which our hero replies “Amitabh Bachchan”. The clerk looks up disbelieving to which the hero retorts “kyun, duniya mein ek hi aadmi ka naam Amitabh Bachchan ho sakta hai?”. No one ever checks the data, what you wrote or what your actual name is. So the joy I get is that sometime at the end of the day somebody might check in and figure that Amitabh Bachchan actually came in and they missed talking to him.

Let’s look at a few altercations between me and them.

Incident 1 – Jispa and I enter theater and the guard will not allow Jispa in while she is eating an apple. Sorry – screw you guys – I am not stopping my daughter from eating the apple. So I physically push the guard and walk in with Jispa, while refusing to bow in to stupid rules. I understand you don’t want to take my picnic hamper in but to stop a  kid who is currently eating an apple is taking the rules too far.

Incident 2 – At the same theater they check for all eatables but allow flasks to be taken in as milk for the kids. That is allowed. So we take cold coffee for us inside the theater and then I go to the water cooler and take their plastic cups for pouring the coffee for all. This time they looked at me and asked me what was inside. I said milk for my kid. They opened the pack and smelt it. He said its coffee. I said ‘yes, coffee flavored milk; you have a problem with that’. It seems they did have a problem with that. So I just snatched the flask from him and still went inside saying, do whatever you want, you can’t stop me from carrying milk for my child.

Incident 3 – I am at a corporate office with my wife and I am writing in the visitor’s entry book. I have never ever really understood why one would require a visitor’s entry book. Those desirous of causing mischief aren’t really going to write their real names. I was there in personal capacity and not representing my firm. So while I was writing in there was a column that says – ‘coming from’. That is meant for writing your company name. To which I left blank. The security guard asked me to fill it in. I said, ‘I am coming from home’. That was apparently not acceptable. I explained to him that his column was for the office not for my home and he has no business knowing where my home is. That was a problem. So I pointed out to him the previous entry which also had a missing filed in the same column. He told me that, it was forgotten to be filled in. So then I looked at him and said, that I too have forgotten to fill it in. Sorry. I walked in without filling in the form. My wife is looking at me and asking me ‘what’s your issue in life’. I told her that I didn’t know. But I guess she is used to me bursting out at these idiots and standing up to silly inane rule.

Incident 4 – this was as a college kid. We were playing on the lawns near the home. Freshly maintained and beautified by the security. All of kids just stood up to the posse of security guards and said – you can do whatever you want, we will continue to play.

Incident 5 – I am walking into a residential building to deliver a parcel. I ask for the address and the security manager in a safari suit… yes the safari suit. The senior guy gets to roam around in a safari suit and grow a big mustache  so this safari clothed monster comes up and asks me to write my name in the visitor entry book. Now why would a residential building start this shit? So I looked at him with a stern face and I asked him, do even guests need to write their names in? ‘no’ was his reply. So I turned to him, squared up and asked him, ‘so what else do you think I look like?’. While I stared at him, I could hear his junior guard laughing. Obviously the man couldn't make out if I was a guest or a stupid delivery boy. My wife later joked that I looked like a delivery boy.

Incident 6 – slightly unrelated but once I was parking my car near the same theatre which is near my building complex and there was a taxi being waiting. I asked him to move so that I could park. He asked me if I was a resident. Yes of course I was.so he asked me for my card or something. I lost it. I screamed out loud and told him, that I did not need to show him my card and he was nobody to ask me for ID. Wow. Sometimes I can use my booming voice to good effect.

At the end of it, it’s worth a laugh but I don’t like these incidents. They don’t leave you feeling good. Your blood rushes to your hands and legs and you feel ready for an altercation and some hormones or the other are being produced. Sorry. I don’t enjoy being in a fight. I prefer avoiding confrontation. Over the years I have taught myself to laugh it off, to somehow diffuse the situation. Even now, as I look back, I think about how I could have been nice, sweet yet firm. Basically done the same without getting my adrenaline or any other hormone pumped up. That’s the right way to handle a situation. That’s how I try and handle stuff in office. With a little bit of serenity and calmness. You can shout but I must focus on the simple issues at hand and not get worked up. Buddha mode ON.

Dreams... best left at that

Last weekend Jispa’s swim meet which was held at Cricket Club of India. It helped me fulfill one dream of mine. To sit in the stands and watch a Ranji trophy match. Mumbai was playing Bengal in the match. The match also happened to be held at the same venue and there is stadium access from the pool area. Not that it mattered. Ranji matches are in any case I think free of cost to watch.

The stadium was empty save one stand. This was the stand above the screen on the opposite end from the pavilion. There were about 50 guys relaxing and watching. Some seemed knowledgeable and knew when to applaud a delivery. But on the whole the stadium was empty. If one were to look at the crowd, one would assume cricket is dying in India. That made me think what all could be done to promote this form of the game.

I thought that we could have a band for starters. Then allow people to get in their own food and beverages as a picnic. Since the stadium has steps in the stands they would need to create a flat platform. Also one could provide for decent cheap food and drinks as well on the other side have a better type restaurant. Then a bowling machine on one side for people to try their hand at cricket, contests for looking weird, and lots more fun. And also digital screens for replays, proper score boards, interactions with experts… blah blah. The most important –get the guys to wear t shirts with names on them. These poor Ranji players might be great players but no one knows them and we at least deserve to know their names if they bat or bowl or field. In short, keep the game sacred, after all it’s a test match, but spectators need a carnival! And then publicize the carnival. Use the press.

One of the things I was also thinking about was have a photography contest. One the sidelines have a veteran photographer giving tips and have these hoards of amateurs clicking and sharing. There you even have content for social media, stuff you can share on Facebook and make the match even more talked about. There are a plethora of amateur photographers who think that just because they have an SLR, they are pros at the job. They love coming in and discussing stuff and trying to take great photos. Hell even the non SLR guys are forever clicking.

I was thinking about this when I was walking back to the pool from the stands. There one more swim parent was there. He had a camera in his hand and was trying to get a piece of the action. At that time, one guard was rushing towards him. “no sir, cameras not allowed here. Not allowed to take photos.” There, that’s India for you. ban it, stop it, prevent it. I understand that big stadiums have a security threat on a big match day, but here, you want guys to click away and share the moment. In any case you can’t stop mobile phones which most use in any case. Once IPL season starts, your FB is spammed with guys clicking themselves inside stadiums, even when ‘it’s not allowed’.

You don’t allow food, no drinks, no shops to buy anything from, no names, no replays, no contests, no atmosphere… and you wonder… is domestic cricket dying. Dam you idiots. A complete lethargy of thought from the richest cricket board in India. What do they do with all that money? There is tons of it to do what?

Forget it! My dream was to see a Ranji trophy match. Now I know why I never ever went nor knew anyone who went. What a stupid thing to do. Boredom at its best! Some dreams are best kept the dream stage itself.

meaning

Philosophy warning: This blog has a lot of Philosophy in it. Read at your own risk. the state of mind of the author can be gleamed from the tone of the blog. It may be transient and may not have a lasting impact, though for the moment - it looks like the shit just hit the roof. Read on

There was a funny incident yesterday. I was pretty much frustrated with the whole world. I want to do a  lot … with swimming, training, office work etc etc… my mind was in over drive. I was frustrated that no one else was getting what I can see on the wall. I could get anyone to see the math side of training for swim meets or client acquisitions at work. Ya ya… the two are unrelated but the genesis is that both can be handled by a high use of past data and analytics. But anyways I was at my low point.

In the past I have always bounced back. I think resilience is a quality I have. Shit will hit for some time till I learn to deal with it and then I will hit back at it. And when you are down and out inspiration comes from many quarters. It comes like a bolt from heaven, as if god is trying to tell you something at the time. Possibly that’s why the religious books give a lot of people a lot of solace in troubled times. They are obviously written with a lot of symbolism and meaning on every page. So with so much meaning dripping out, it is not that difficult to find something that means something to you at the right time.

The same goes for T shirts. If enough Tshirt sayings are roaming around you with meaning, your mind will find one that gives it the meaning it’s seeking. I know my mind works faster and more logical than most others. It is ready to move on and quickly makes its decision and takes a few steps ahead. Now the world on an average has trouble catching up, which in turn leads to serious issues on the frustration front for me. So yesterday when I was angry with the entire world, moping that no one understands or cares or can do anything. Hell they don’t even get it, at the point one kid is roaming around with the t shirt that says “sometimes you have to stand up alone, just to know you can still stand”.

How bloody empty and corny is that. But I am ashamed to admit… ok not really ashamed, but, you know… it struck as a voice from above. Without too much explanation and analysis, I can tell you, I found meaning in the line. I took what I wanted from it. Yes, I will have to stand up alone.

I was reading a book where there was this one story of a king who got the wise men to write all the wisdom of the world. The wise men wrote an encyclopedia after ten years which the king dismissed. He wanted it shorter. After another decade he got a book, which too did not please him, then a chapter, and then finally on his death bed, they read him the wisdom of the world in a line. It said “there is no free lunch”. As a corollary to this story I add – you are alone.

And I don’t mean this in a depressing sort of way. Surely there are enough who care for you and love you. But the real truth is that you are alone. You are responsible for your actions or in actions. You are responsible for your ideas and implementation. There are always forces moving you around, but the truth is  - you are alone. The faster it sinks inside of you the better it will be for you. You will not search for answers or meaning outside. You will not look outside but inside to find answer and happiness.

Jispa – your dad is there and your mom is there for you. Tomorrow you will have a partner who I hope loves you and you will in return. You may bear children and have a lovely circle. But the truth is simple – you are alone. You are responsible for what is happening to you and what your state of mind is. I have written about this book before. The title says a lot ‘if you meet Buddha on the road, kill him”. If you look for anything on the road and find it, kill it. There is nothing out there. All what you need is inside of you. Harness it, it will tell you what to do. There is a reason I don’t pray. Now you know.