ding dong, oh baby sing a song

Music is beautiful. It can turn your mood to a different direction and it can also be used to reflect your mood. It’s beautiful. But I… I don’t listen to music. I have never been able to sit for hours listening to music. I can’t appreciate music for long. I don’t understand it. I love it when it plays. I can sing and dance along. But I can’t let it run for long. And I just can’t talk about it too much. Singers, musicians etc.. These are no conversations for me. Jasmine still likes her music. No she isn’t too picky but she still likes it. She can go to sleep listening to music and she can’t stuff her ears with the earphones and enjoy. I can’t do that. And ear phones for music… I can’t handle that as well. I feel it just separates me from the rest of the world. And I would like my sound system to be of a decent quality. But still even after all this I can’t spend money on listening to music. Concerts bore me after a point of time. I would love if someone tried explaining some of the music to me. I would be able to appreciate it better, but still not much beyond a point.

I think Jispa loves her music. Jasmine always has the radio on while driving and Jispa listens to a lot of radio. Now she has this thing for English music. Wonder where she picked that from. Jispa insists on listening to the English radio channel. I find that even more irritating. New English music has passed me by completely. My western music is limited to the stuff I heard in college and a few songs from there on. While driving, I feel is the best time to catch up talking with each other. So if Jispa or Jasmine is in the car then I don’t switch on the radio. I rather talk about something or the other. Music is a conversation restrictor. Earlier when I drove alone I heard the radio but since a few years I have listening to good podcasts and using that to further my readings. Sometimes this makes me feel like a completely fuddy duddy. I am hungry and have an almost insatiable appetite for knowledge and music becomes a faltu waste of time. And then it surprises me when sometimes I switch on the radio at times and love the music being played.

I love the music but can’t listen to it. What is this weird combination? In fact I feel most music listeners are highly pretentious. But then this I attribute to my own stupid judgment (or lack of). But I still can’t understand my behavior. If a song is stuck in my head, I like it. I can sing it again and again. Singing songs while batting have helped me improve it and I think highly of it. I sing so much that Jispa hates it and I a song is stuck in her head while swimming she blames me for it. She hates it when that happens. She feels irritated and I can’t understand why that is a bad thing. I love it. But I still can’t listen to too much music. I also never understood how people listen to music while studying or reading. I can’t do that as well. Today morning I tried listening to music while working or reading – it bombed as usual. I had to switch off the music.

It’s a weird thing. Music is so powerful and I have mentioned this incident before – I used to sing to a pregnant Jasmine. It was this one song and when Jispa was born whenever she cried I sang this song and it made her quiet. I completely believe in the power of music, but I can’t somehow get it to work hard on me. One song and at best two. Full stop. My mood is ok, now let’s get on with it.

Well, whatever. When I was marketing head for the wealth division, we used to have KK concerts organized for our clients. He was awesome and this song of his was brilliant. I loved it. I heard it today morning and I thought I could hear a few more. In fact I put his entire playlist to play from youtube and then I simply switched it off in 2 minutes. I can’t take more than 67 seconds of emotions. Brain fry ho jata hai J

For those wondering on what the title means - listen to this...

a tough act

Ever since we took up a major research exercise last year, we have been screaming hoarse about the need to simplify the jargon associated with finance in general and broking in particular. A large number of people want to invest and a large number open their trading account, but you see a large amount of dormancy within the system. The reason is simple – the whole environment is far too intimidating. Way too much rubbish is used for a lot of the names. The money you give a broker to carry out transactions is called ‘margin’, then there is the ‘ledger’ and ‘payout’ is done on a ‘T+2 basis’ after which the shares hit your ‘demat’ account and of course  there is the ‘bid and ask’ as well as ‘spread’, ‘impact cost’, ‘PE multiples’ available. All this is scary especially when you are looking to invest money in bid to exercise control over your destiny. Basically the poor soul feels constrained and helpless when trying to invest in shares.

But no one seems to be listening. You will find even more incomprehensible offers with thousands of lines of fine print for everything and the dice firmly loaded against you. In the back drop of all this is the Union Budget. You have the jamboree every Feb end where the finance minister gets up and presents what is essentially a nonevent. But the TV channels have managed to hype it and create enough buzz so as to charge astronomical premiums for advertisers and attract eyeballs. No one understands jack of what is presented and no one understands jack of the impact of these proposals. Key terms are misunderstood and people are watching in a bid to see where the markets react to the whole charade.

So in light of all that we decided to set up a micro site called budget simplified. Among other stuff we decided to shoot videos explaining the budget to the common person. What is it and what does one look for in the budget. Short two minute videos that give a fair idea into the whole process. Having less money we decided that I would be the model for the videos. Nine videos should be easy enough. One day shoot and we wrap it up. Boy I was wrong. One shoot it was but the videos were bloody difficult to shoot. One is at first pretty stiff in front of the cameras. It takes time to get a bit lose and to free up. At first the lights and the focus is a bit intimidating but over the day it worked out pretty fine. The other problem is the energy level. One has to maintain an energy level through the day. You have to perform at higher degrees of energy every time you are in front of the camera. Afternoon was tough for me. It showed on the screen. One can actually feel it when the cinematographer tells you that “sir, energy nahi aa raha hai performance mein.” Yes of course. I had to actually pull off reserve energy form the system to give a ‘performance’. Wow. It’s a tough job. I now have new found respect for models and actors and have a small insight into how they must be going about their everyday life. I did not have the additional burden of trying to look good. Those guys need to manage that as well through the day. And the stakes are ridiculously high for them and everyone. Here I was the boss on the set, so everyone was forced to be patient with me and I could modify the lines as I saw fit as I was the quasi script writer as well. Imagine if you are getting paid for this and your opinion on script counts for jack. Wow. Running around trees can also be stressful. Nevertheless, at end of it, the videos did come out pretty cool and I did manage to remain standing. Here are the videos.

They are pretty simple explanations for a lot of the stuff. If finance or economics hold no interest for you, you have bets leave these videos unwatched, but if you have even a passing interest in these topics then you may find the same quite interesting and educative. We have tried to keep things at a very simplistic level and repeated a lot of the concepts. Have fun and let me know.

little big dreams

It’s been a really uphill struggle to remain fit and fighting. My bad right knee keeps getting dislocated at the slightest stress. I strap it heavily to play badminton and yet in some vague situations, snap it goes. Now I am used to the drill, it will dislocate and then I will fall and then I will be in grave pain while I straighten my knee and snap, straightening it will get it into place and I can be normal again. But I still wont be able to run hard.

Its seriously my worst nightmare coming true. One of my recurring nightmares has been that I can’t run, a train is running away and I can’t run fast enough to catch it. This nightmare is something that I am living. Running and turning fast and long has been very important to me. And that has stopped. But I am surprised at myself. I have adapted very well. I started badminton instead of squash. It’s easier on the knees and I swim, that’s easiest on them.

Last week, I played a cricket tournament in my colony. I was in the team on reputation I guess. The senior pro who talks like he knows it all. I am still good on the field as a thinker. I may be a better player thinking through the game. I resisted from giving too many comments upfront, but when we lost one match and every one blamed it on bowling, I stood apart and explained how we lost it on batting. We overhauled the batting order and style and smashed through the next couple of games. I was sent in early, in spite of me explaining that I can’t run. I smashed one straight six off the ground and established my reputation. The next match I then destroyed my reputation. Well, almost. I am done with cricket. I dislocated my knee playing a shot, not even running. I retired never to bat again. And my back is sore form the wicket keeping I had to do. That was the only spot available to fielders who can’t run. So now after giving away my kit, I even gave away my bat. Only if it stays out will I not be tempted to play again. I loved my bat. My daughter was asking me if it was my lucky bat. No, I don’t believe in lucky bats but I did have a bat with an amazing balance, weight and power. I have hit a six over covers with that bat. But I knew I had to give it away. Its time. I explained to Jispa that when I was younger – around 25 yrs old, I always wished I had a great bat. Now I have a friend who is that young and plays cricket and he deserves a bat that is this good. What will it do in my house. Let him use it and let him get what I didn’t.

I am happy. I may have gotten old and crippled but I haven’t lost my touch with my emotions. I am happy that I have the heart to give away my equipment while they are still in good condition. And truly give them away, without having any condition attached to them. The only condition I attached to the bat was that – please love it. Respect it. I need not have said it. The boy who took it really loved it and was excited by it. NICE. It’s nice to see such joy. I know what I might have felt to get such a fantastic bat.

So here I am retiring almost from all forms of the game. I am not even fit to play colony cricket. For now atleast. It’s time to swim I guess. Swim and make your muscles. I can’t stay away from a sport. I can’t become round and happy. I have to remain straight and fit.

In swimming I learnt all the four strokes, though not all proficiently… but I know them. Only one thing remains – the tumble turn. Jispa is after me to learn it from her. I hate it as whenever I try it, I lose all orientation and water enters my nose giving me a fizzy head. But I have to try it, once that’s done, a big dream will be done. And what better way to fulfill your dream than having your daughter helping you along the way.