random frustrations :)

The biggest curse in corporate world is to do well. The First KRAISE and then the quarterlies did well. I wrote some edgy stuff. Got reactions, Both sides. This time too many got involved into the act. I have been briefed by too many people. Result highly sanitized stuff. I told my Exec Director, that I just got a bottle of Dettol poured over my bloody head. Result is that I am so damn frustrated with that little thing that I want to give it up. As it is I was doing it out of pure charity. I don’t get salary or promotion for it. Fuck it man. Just fuck it. I just get some free joy by putting in some sublimals that no one except me understands! They range from double meanings to kicking someone’s butt. But then life is nothing but small bits of get backs!!!



One of the main reasons I like my job is that I don’t get too much supervision. People let me be as I am. They don’t get too much in my lives. I deliver. Period. its an amazing arrangement. Simple. I hope to someday lead like that. But I believe the team needs ot grow up for that. You have to earn freedom. Once you deliver without issues and make a habit out of it then you get eth freedom, till then you have to be used to supervision.

My advice to all wannabe media career people. The place is full of shit. I have met only pathological liars, bastards, turncoats and the rest. Hardly a good man /woman exists. Corporate fuckese at its best.

cricket weekend

That’s not supposed to happen. It’s a 5 step run up. I am supposed to whack the shit out of your short of good length balls by going through the line. But instead the balls comes close to my chest and I almost glove it to the wicket keeper. Whew! Welcome to where the bug boys play. Yesterday was an 8 a side tournament which I was leading one of the two Kotak teams. We got through to the semis with a decent show. Normally the banks send their sales guys for the matches but some banks decide to only send their professional team. Sure even I could send my A team, but then the whole idea was to play and have fun with the amateurs. The team in the semis was the pro team. All the guys have played some district level or some probables for some state / zone.
The guy bowling of 5 paces generated pace and bounce that screwed the shit out of me. Luckily I have always kept my eyes on the ball and I don’t try playing shots I can’t, to a really fast bowler, for example the hook / pull. Partly because I am not stupid to attempt it and partly I can’t get into position fast enough. You have to be really quick on your feet to do it. I have limited ability and I learnt the game only after I was 25, that too as an amateur with no formal coaching. These guys have been getting coached since they were babies. I have survived through sheer determination, willingness to learn, keeping ears and eyes open and of course keeping the eye on the ball.
I was doing pretty good till the semis, smashing other part time bowlers all around the park and getting some phenomenal averages. This game I was happy to just stay there getting off the strike. My opening partner, subbu, was a pro player and he was doing all the batting. There, one run, its your strike now. Later on, I thought of accelerating and hitting a few more. I quickly conferred with Subbu and figured that lets not. The other guys to follow will get hit and hurt. Its better that we stick in there. I got one ball pitched outside off. I slashed at it opening the face of my bat. Whack in the middle of the bat, with the sweet smell of leather and I watched in amazement the ball traveling high and far, going going going….. into the light towers and a little above and falling out of the ground into the train tracks adjoining. Wow, that’s the biggest six I have hit square of the wicket. Massive by any standards, any ground. While I like to take credit for that shot, I can only take credit for connecting, the pace at which it was bowled was the reason it went that far. My power shots aren’t that powerful. Now I know how the players at world level might be playing. It is extremely fast and powerful. How they get into position early, how can they judge the length so early, how do they do that.

I got a chance to watch these masters play at the Braborne Stadium watching an India Australia T20 match. I had tickets for Jispa and Jasmine. But Jispa didn’t want to come. The five year old decided that the match would be too loud and also the fact that her friend had invited her to her house. The last match I saw was in the 10k rupee stand and it was bloody boring, so this time I was in the 500 buck stand. That was fun! No seats only standing and fairly engaging three hours fast paced action. Really fast. Death to one day cricket. No more full day waste of time. But it was good that Jispa did not come. You don’t get water inside the stadium. You will get coke and the rest, but no water. Yup, no tap, no bottle no glass. Of course you aren’t supposed to get anything inside the stadium as well from outside. Really irritating thing. We need to take our spectators more seriously. You have give much more value or people will vote with their feet.

So that was that. A fairly engaging weekend. Overworked and under slept, but hell, you are 32 only once in your life

Fortune favors the Brave

well well well, I am on the cover of the Fortune magazine. What more can I say - a picture speaks a thousand words.

But 90% of those seeing this feel that it is a computer job. There is no sanctity to digital images these days. People only belive what they can touch and feel. Interesting insight for the future.

office space

I can get really weird. My office kids get the brunt of it at times.
The seat behind mine has been empty for sometime. My boys use this seat to dump and store stuff. I hate it. If you can’t have clean offices spaces then there are issues. If you are unable to order in advance and figure out where to store stuff then there are issues. If you are ordering entire India figures then you must courier the stuff from the printer office itself to all India. What’s the bloody point of storing the stuff in office? The space behind mine just got allotted a few days back to a new joinee. Today morning I come in to see 15 – 20 boxes of folders completely jamming his desk space. He has been on training last few days and therefore the desk has been a empty. But that still does not give the guys any right to jam anybody’s space. A new guy is more sensitive to all these cues as compared to anyone else. So I did the next best thing. I took these boxes and jammed their desks. Have fun. It helps to some in early in the morning. How does it feel to get a dose of their own medicine? Take that!

Here is the picture of their desks jammed. The two desks jammed are the culprits of the crime.

Hey I never did tell you how my first fast went off. One full day of not eating. It was fun to start with. Difficult to keep away from popping random things into your mouth. I had tons of water whenever I was hungry but it was fun. The night dinner was surely the toughest to avoid. It is soo easy for the mind to tell you that – eat, it does not matter, it’s not religious, it does not matter. And it was fun fighting it off and saying I don’t care. I am not eating. Sleep came nice and fast so it was helpful. But it was fun. Who knows, next time I will attempt two days perhaps? Worth a shot! You could write tomes on hunger but it has to be felt the hard way to really feel it! I loved it. I am richer for the experience.

I had booked online with rajasthan tourism. It was a please to book online. I cancelled the reservation. It was even faster. Now to see if the monies get deposited in the bank account as fast. Will keep you posted.

one large leap

“Ritu and I both will be 15 min late. My chappal fell off d train n she is coming to station with a spare pair 4 me :(” – this is the SMS I received from one of my reportees. Fact is sometimes stranger than fiction.

Life comes a full circle. Sonal used to stay at Bandra all her life. Her dad retired and moved to Kandivili from where she jostles and fights her way to office. I had another girl once who stayed at Marine drive and came to work at Nariman point. Just 5 minutes by road. She got married and moved to Jogeshwari. That’s one and a half hour to work everyday. I had asked to look for the tabelas (hindi for cow sheds). She just nodded thinking this was us pulling her leg. She called up soon after in all excitement saying that she saw the tabelas. Well I told you they were there!

This is but a small example of how women get displaced by marriage and is such a big radical step for them. I am not so sure it’s that big a step for the guy. Best of luck to all the girls!

philosophy has its uses

Five years back when Jispa was born, a friend of mine (Ashutosh) remarked that “the birth of the child is the death of the father” apparently quoted by the great poet Kabir. The statement has great significance. As he explained to me, that once the child is born, the father will do anything to save the child from harm. If it means putting his life for the child he will do so without hesitation. So in a matter of speaking the father’s life is not his own, he has already given it to / up for the child, so in other words he is already dead. Now that’s an interesting thought.
We were holidaying in matheran the other day. I got some hot soup for Jispa. I then got a two litre mineral water bottle and placed it on the table and turned. As I turned I heard a commotion and I turned back to see the bottle toppling over and hitting the soup bowl. Normally one sees this in slow motion. Not this time though. I saw this in super warp speed. The bottle hit the soup bowl and the soup tippled over and was falling on Jispa. My only reaction was to extend my palms as wide as possible in between Jispa and the soup bowl so that the impact of the hot soup was maximum on my hand and minimum on Jispa. Successful - Jispa only got a drop on her pants and I bore the brunt. I jumped around a bit and luckily it did not burn me much. But I realized what I did and what Kabir meant.


The other day the stupid IT guy in the office (they all are) decided to break a hole in my table and put the printer plug point inside my cupboard. This incensed me to a great extent. I tried reasoning with him but he just would not understand. The next day I realized the business at risk issue and wrote a mail. Result – the plug was dutifully removed within 24 hours. Here’s the mail. You decide.
The cast though – Nagraj – the IT guy, Shama – the admin, Vareena – the HR.
My next fight – get that bloody hole repaired.


SUB: Business At Risk

In my cupboard where I keep my books and papers we suddenly have an electric point!

Where there is an electric point, there you will have sparks (invariably). Even Jispa knows that. (if you don’t know who Jispa is, I don’t know you). When spark touches paper, it burns. Remember your 6th standard science class. When paper burns, more paper next to it burns. This leads to a chain reaction where the entire desk catches fire. Desks are predominately wood and what have you here? A catastrophe waiting to happen. Nero fiddled while Bakhtawar burned. Who is Nero? I dunno, ask him. Who him? Ask Nero for all I care. So it might be the boy who cried wolf, but who knows; if it looks like a wolf, feels like a wolf, behaves like a wolf, it is not likely to be a kangaroo. Jispa knows that as well. (what? you still don’t know who is Jispa? get outta here)

So kindly remove the point from there (the electric point, got the point?) and please can I have my desk back. Its missing me and the feeling is mutual.

How did this get about:-

I ask Nagraj, Nagraj tells me that he tell Shama, Shama obviously does it because Nagraj told her. Who gave Nagraj authority, well he spoke to Vareena. Why did Vareena say yes, well because Nagraj told her. Why did Nagraj get it done, beacuase Vareena and Shama said so. In excel parlance this is called circular reference. So where does the buck stop. You silly goose, the buck cannot stop – it’s a circle and it’s twisted, so that makes it’s a mobius strip. A mobius strip has no start no end, its just keeps going around. So much so that some scientists have hypothesized that if it does not start or end it does not exist. It is not even there.

A mathematician confided
That a Möbius band is one-sided,
And you'll get quite a laugh,
If you cut one in half,
For it stays in one piece when divided

So who has the hole in the end:- my desk. I am not sure about anyone’s mind yet. Hope this burned a hole in your mind as well.

While at the topic – does putting a hole in my desk require my permission? Oh ya – the circle has decided on its own I guess (the circular reference circle). It’s like a snow ball and it’s got sufficient momentum on its side. So, GET OUT OF THE WAY! But while putting the hole in, musn’t you remove my stuff so that it does not get dirty? GET OUT OF THE WAAAY, SNOW BALL IS SNOWBALLING. But….AVALANCE..tttttt.

I have just been exterminated. Exterminated employees need not feel anything. Especially motivation, desire to call the place your own, belonging, clean perhaps. Anything. Just work. But I have just been exterminated – so what? Those exterminated are transported to the netherworld – where you just work. Well at least you don’t burn here. Well the place night burn down, but you might as well might be saved. Should I feel grateful. I should.

Thank you

Yours truly

Do I need to add my name? is the email id enough? Sombody answer, someone pull me out, someone show me a sign that I am alive. Someoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…………………………….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa