Subterfuge

Check this. Poor Jispa has been bandaged on her left foot. But there isn’t anything wrong with her left foot. There isn’t a hurt, or even a scratch there. Then why is it there? Jasmine saw this in the morning and called Jispa and me ‘impossible’.

Well I am particularly proud of this one. Jispa had a little bit of fever yesterday night. That’s because she has a puss boil on her left butt. It’s painful and it’s ready to ooze. We started putting medicine on it. The ayurvedic one is a brown paste that seeks to suck out the puss. While the boil itself hurts, putting the brown paste makes it throb and hurt a bit more. The fever today morning was gone but the boil needed fresh dressing. So we dressed it up and got her ready for school. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go to school today. I was ok – sure. This is a good enough reason not to go. Jasmine wasn’t so benign about it. Of course she can go to school. Ya, it hurts but it’s not that bad.

So I was with Jispa later and she said – “you know it’s not because it hurts I don’t want to go. In school there is pushing and pulling and someone will touch the boil and it will hurt like hell.” – and I added “and you can’t really tell them that you have a boil on your bum. It’s too embarrassing.”. “ya” she replied “ and if you tell the buys then they do it all the more”. Hmm. That’s a genuine problem. You have whackos in school you get sadistic pleasures and you have a problem that you can’t really talk about, and you definitely are in pain and you will limp. So “Jispa, here’s one idea.  Let’s bandage another leg in a way it shows so you have a reason to limp and no one need know.” Her face lit up and she said “Yes, that will work”

So we just simply bandaged the other leg and sent her off. This way we address Jasmine’s concern for not bunking frivolously and Jispa concern of not being embarrassed or hurt.

In the end I don’t know if the ploy worked or if her friends really care or anything. But it did get her to school and we had a chuckle or two.

Subterfuge - the end matters more than the means.

 

listen - its bloody difficult thing to do!

It’s time again for the annual elocution ritual. Searching for a decent poem with enough emotions and then getting the teacher at school to choose it and then getting Jispa to learn it and then putting the emotions in it. This time also as usual she had to send a few for the teacher to choose from. Jasmine was quite bugged when the teacher dismissed our original choice as that was being done by someone else. This has happened for the second time in a row. Last year also there was enough to and fro about this. Which poem to do? Either it’s too common or someone was already doing it or something else.

This time around we finally agreed on Clarence by Shel Silverstien. Shel has been a lucky break for us. I remember clearly when I first bought his book. It was in a Crossword store in Powai when I chanced upon it. Actually a friend recommended it to me. She said it was a really cool book. I bought it, I liked it and then I went online and searched about him. I realized there were more Shel books on offer but there weren’t easily available in India. So I hunted down the office of Oxford book store in Kolkata. Then I caught a customer service executive who was a really sweet lady and she helped me trace these books down. I then got my Kolkata office to pick it up and have it couriered to me. The main reason I bought it was for Jispa’s elocution. Of course Jispa was too young at the time but I knew it would help. And it has been a huge help.

Internet is good but it’s difficult to get a poem you want from there. This book helps you go through the many poems he has written and they are all for a small child. I guess this is possibly the last year she would get to recite from here. Next year onwards her poems will have to be more … mature? I guess.

So this time I trained her as well. She is selected for the final round which I think is going to be held tomorrow. I have been busy with office and Jasmine called me last evening wondering where I was. She wanted me to get home and get her poetry right. When I reached home I realized that Jispa’s class teacher had corrected the recitation and she had changed it so much that it sounded completely different. Jasmine was pretty pissed. There was another mother who was equally pissed. She called Jasmine and wondered what to do. Forget it – was Jasmine’s advice. That’s been my rule as well. When your child gets caught between the teacher and the parent what do you do? I spoke to Jispa and she recited the way her teacher wanted her to. I said fine. I asked her which one she preferred. “I like your version. It has many emotions”. Hmm. “but you can’t do that in school nah? Your teacher will want her version”. She nodded. So I just advised her to listen to her teacher and told her to follow it in practice and if you really feel something is wrong or you want to change it then do it on the final stage. Follow your heart, I guess. Once you win or lose your teacher can’t do much, I thought to myself. I don’t what I am teaching her and if that’s a smart thing to do but hell, that’s what you need to do at times. Take your own call.

So let’s see what happens. Its better which Jispa. She manages this well. I guess she is used to many people trying to coach her all the time. I have always taught het o be balanced about it. Listen to them all and think what you must do best. In this case she has learnt that there is no bloody point in arguing with the teacher. But it’s a shame. What a loss for the teacher if you come down so high handed on your students. You teach them not to confront, not to ask why and not to reason. Only to listen.

This is very easy to preach but very difficult to implement. I don’t know, but I am sure that I have been high handed many times. With Jasmine, with Jispa and with my office colleagues. I would/ might dismiss them forthwith. I would have made up my mind that you are useless or that you know jack about it and I would find it a waste of time to listen to you. God help me when I think I know it all.

But I am trying. And I want to try harder. I don’t want to be the guy who dismisses arguments. This is bloody difficult. So many times you see the answer faster than anyone else. So many times you see and count three to four steps ahead, and in my speed to get work done I might not listen hard enough. Naysayers are important but difficult to listen to. Some of them are also at fault. They don’t speak up strongly enough. I have heard this before – the force of my personality pushes people to doubt what they themselves are thinking and feel brushed aside when I am making a point. But then I always have thought, it’s up to them to put their point across equally vociferously. Go ahead. Push me back. I am listening. But a quiet dissenter is also important to the system. He may be shy and quiet but it is in my interest to get him out, to get him to talk, to get him to dissent. I ask so many times in meetings that does anyone have a counter view. I keep asking that these days, in the hope that people open their mouths and talk freely. I guess I will have to do it more number of times and sit quiet more often. But that is freaking difficult to do. What to do when you see the meeting heading nowhere or people not seizing the opportunity that is there for all to see. It’s easy to sit and criticize the guy who opens his mouth but how difficult is it to stick your neck out and talk.

Oh dam. I have never understood this. I am trying to solve it, but it’s a forced solution. I don’t think my heart is in it. I prefer people who talk and speak and then we resolve it amicably and forget all disputes and work together. People carry their prejudices as well, but then that is another blog post.

For now - read this

Clarence lee from Tennessee

Loved the commercials he saw on TV.

He watched with wide believing eyes

And bought everything they advertised-

Cream to make his skin feel better,

Spray to make his hair look wetter,

Bleach to make his white things whiter,

Stylish jeans that fit much tighter.

Toothpaste for his cavities,

Powder for his doggie's fleas,

Purple mouthwash for his breath,

Deodorant to stop his sweat.

He bought each cereal they presented,

Bought each game that they invented.

Then one day he looked and saw

"A brand-new Maw, and better Paw!

New improved in every way-

Hurry order yours today!"

So, of course, our little Clarence

Sent off for two brand-new parents.

The new ones came in the morning mail,

The old ones were sold at a garage sale.

And now they all are doing fine:

His new folks treat him sweet and kind,

His old ones work at an old coal mine.

So if your Maw and Paw are mean

And make you eat your lima-beans

And make you wash and make you wait

And never let you stay up late

And scream and scold and preach and pout,

That simply means they're wearing out.

So send off for two brand new parents

And you'll be as happy as little Clarence.

 

office gardens

I guess I have a soft sweet side and like my forefathers I too would like to get back to the soil. Plant fruit bearing trees, live off the soil, grow crops, run a farm, ….screeech… bham, crash.. ok. Back to real life. The only bit of gardening I have ever done is watering my two bamboo shoots that I got as a gift.

There is a photo of my lovely office garden. Oh yes… it’s a garden with a fake freaking peacock and a giraffe. Pretty corny.

 

 

In Dubai we had a huge gallery. It connected all the rooms. We loved it. Dad used to do the gardening in there. We had plants and flowers, and like good Dubai citizens, we even grew cactus there. It seems we also had potted plants inside the house. Dad was asthmatic and once he had an attack someone suggested to keep the plants outside the house. I guess it helped. So we only had plants in the gallery and not in the house. I guess the fertilizer and the other stuff was good for him. I would like some life around my house as well. I keep asking Jasmine to have a few plants around the house. Sure she says. She would like them too. But Jasmine is the practical kind of person. She knows what it takes ot have plants. Her next one is always, who will take care of them. That’s one more thing to take care of. And then when we go out of town who will water them.

I like to invent things in my head and try to get practical inventions all figured out in my head to solve real life issues. I have dreamt of a water tap with real tiny holes that my neighbor has to simply connect to the tap once a day to water the plants. Of course my neighbor isn’t really around most of the time. ok…connect the pipe to the tap in my house and have only a trickle flowing all the time through the tiny holes watering the plants whole day? Whatever… but of course plants require much more than water. They need a bit of tender loving care, fertilizers, pruning, cutting, etc..

I was once gifted a bamboo shoot, about eight years ago. I ignored it thinking it doesn’t need too much water or care. Slowly it just died out. I never bothered again. Then this time I got two shoots in succession as some gift. So I decided this time to water them regularly. It is a part of my morning routine to water them. When I go on leave I give it to someone else to water. Now I feel pretty cool about them.

Over the last few weeks, I have been really busy, going directly for meetings, not coming into my office for a few days etc. I saw that the shoots were not taken care of. You can see the yellowing of the leaves. I then decided to cop out. When the guy in the office came into my cabin to give me my bottle of water I gave him the job of watering the plants every day. So there.. my tryst with gardening lasted a few months. It’s nice to have a garden and get someone to do the gardening.

Now I think the next thing I want is some lemon grass growing in the office. I have to figure a small enough pot than can stay on the window sill and yet grow grass. It would be pretty cool to have a visitor come over and offer some fresh lemon grass in their tea. That would be pretty cool. And of course, all I have to do is get someone to water it. I think they grow pretty fast and wild like that only. I will have to get someone to pot them. I don’t even know how to repot grass. There are things that urban life has ensured I don’t learn. Gardening and kite flying is something I wish I knew.

Hell – possibly some day…

Uplift from lower echelons

“What Jasmine, you are so middle class! You thought something happened with the watch just because the seconds hand was jumping every five seconds on my Victorinow watch.”

Victorinox is the most expensive watch I have with me. I am not such a watch guy and more so I hate spending too much money. I have three watches which I wear regularly. First one – Casio. Sports watch – analog plus digital. It’s a light steel one which is water resistant. It’s got an alarm and a stop watch and two time zones. I use this on Saturday and Sunday and especially while travelling. It’s really a nice rugged watch. This one cost me around three thousand bucks.

Here you see it -its really scratched and well worn. I have a special place for this one in my heart

The second one – it’s a Titan Xylus. This is a Chrono but I don’t know how to use it. It looks big and expensive and ‘Swiss’. The titan guys went out of their way to make it a Swiss watch. They even set up a plant or something like that in Swiss so that it could be correctly called a Swiss watch. There is a story to this watch. I normally take time with my expensive purchases. Do my research. Look at it and then come back and then see it again and think through. This has helped me well. Many times I have ended up not buying thanks to my inactivity and normally I don’t seem to have lost much. Of course when you have Jasmine on your side, this becomes a bit of a pain. She gets after your brains. She keeps saying – buy it. It’s ok. Buy it. It’s ok. This gets into me and I end up buying it. This time I was looking around, shopping for a watch since some time. I kept seeing many watches. I remember I wanted a sapphire glass crystal surface so that it is scratch free (that’s what I think it’s called). And then I wanted it to look big and good. But the prices were mind numbing. Any decent good looking watch would be in the 15 to 20 thousand range. It was then that I chanced upon this watch. It was their cheapest chrono and it was around 10 or 11 thousand bucks and with a scratch proof lens. And they were giving away a stupid Nokia phone worth 4 thousand free with it. Great the next day I decided to buy it. My mom heard of it and said she wanted to gift me something and this was the perfect gift. It was something I wanted and I would wear so please buy the watch as a gift from me. So Ankit and I went to buy this watch. We bought it and got the stupid phone free. We then immediately set off trying to search for a buyer for the cell phone. I didn’t bother on the street price or anything. I flatly gave a discount on it. We went from shop to shop till we got one shop with a guy who trusted us and wanted a cell phone. Deal done. The guys at his shop were wondering what kind of watch would I have bought to get a cell phone free. WTF!

And of course my favorite one – the Victorinox. There is something I like about it. The rugged simplicity and dark green dial.

One of my students was working at Victorinox and he was generally in touch. He told me there was a sale internally and the watches were at 30 to 50% off. It was the time when I was relatively richer. I hadn’t bought the second house and so I was awash with cash and reasonably high bonuses. Sure. Send me the pictures I told him. This one caught my eye as a simple one with a military kind of air about it. Original price 26,000, sale price – 16,000. Wow. That’s expensive, but my mind was set and I loved the look and blah blah…. I bought it. I still wonder how I paid so much for this watch. But I guess it has paid off in some way. Metal straps don’t wear off like leather and its water resistant – so I can swim with it and ITS REALLY SWISS! Ha ha. Like I bloody care. But you know – everybody seems to care what brand you wear.

The other day one of team member told me that me – as the head of marketing cannot wear a ‘Casio’. Oh shut up. What the F? You wear what is best for you. And what’s wrong with Casio? That shit also costs three grand. It’s not like I am wearing some cheap plastic Chinese brand. And this head of marketing drives a hatch back right? To which the retort always is – that’s ok because you have a sedan which your wife drives. Ooooo

So coming back to the Victorinox. A few weeks back somebody noticed that the watch was jumping every five seconds. It’s told the time just fine – the seconds hand jumped every five seconds and made up for the time. Dam. Iw as pretty stressed out. This expensive watch jumping every five seconds. What was wrong with it? I hunted for the warranty card and sent the peon to the showroom to get it fixed. He called back and put me on line with the technician. He told me – “sir, we need to change the battery”. “Why is that” I asked. “It’s jumping five seconds, not stopped.”. “yes sir. That’s the thing with Swiss watches. They jump five seconds to indicate to you that the battery is losing power.”. oh ok. “how much is the battery for? 300 bucks? Wow. Aren’t batteries available for like 60 to 100 bucks?” by this time I was sure the other guy thought I wasn’t fit enough to wear, let alone buy a Swiss watch. “sir. All Swiss watches have this one brand of batteries that they authorize”. Oh ok. Not wanting to let myself stoop further, I only inquired on how long they last and quickly agreed to change batteries and hung up. They last for around 18 months and above. Great.

So now Jasmine knows what Swiss watches do to indicate that the battery power is wearing off. How cheap is that. Thinking that watch is wrong when all it was, was a superior design that ensured you got an early warning before you ended up in the middle of the day with a dead watch. Real cheap of us.

cut the crap

Well… mom came into have lunch yesterday at home. This is the first time she has stepped into my house. Jispa and I were obviously thrilled. I showed mom around the house. And we lunch later. Well, it’s a start. Things go wrong all the time.

In the evening I asked Jispa if things went off well. She was also satisfied. She knows all the history and she reacts like a good level headed adult. I was happy with that. She remarked while going to sleep – “its odd that after six years of staying here, we had to show grand mom the house”. “ya Jispa. Shit happens. Buit what is more important is that you forgive and forget. You move on. Its not right to keep your anger inside. Move on. Shit happens.” And then just for kicks I said “you remember that day when you were angry with me. I had asked you to wear your shoes fast and you thought you couldn’t wear them faster. You were angry at me for a long time. Almost half way to the bus stop. See… you keep your anger so long”. Awwww….. We hugged and she then slept.

I never wanted to tell Jispa about any of the issues I faced with my mom. But mom opened the box and I was forced to clear the air and explain the whole truth. In the end, while I was forced to do it, I guess it was the right thing to have been done. Jispa seems old enough to understand the issue. She has reacted very well and understood it and not made any song and dance about it. She notices the small things. The other day when Jispa and I went to mom’s house and mom asked about Jasmine, Jispa too noticed it.  That’s good. We don’t know but the kids have a tendency to grow up and face issues. They surprise us in ways we think not possible. Alls well… for now at least. Cross fingers.

Just on another note – someone gave Jasmine scissors with five six blades on it. It’s like having six pairs of scissors fused with one handle. The use for this is to cut green leafy vegetables. It seemed logical enough. Why us eth knife when you have these multiple scissors. But that is the classic case of something which looks completely useful and logical but absolutely useless. You wash the green veggies and then use the scissors.. what happens is that the food gets all stuck between the blades and somehow the cutting isn’t smooth. It crushes half of the veggies before cutting them. Dam. So Jispa now uses the same for her craft. And what can she do with it… make a chef hat for one. So she made herself a hat and made us some fresh lime juice. Happy things.

open your mind - there is a fuit inside

The last weekend was spent at one of the best conferences I have ever attended. It was called designyatra and as the name suggests it was a design conference. They had speakers from all over the world explaining their work and their belief. Crazy creative stuff to innovations for rural India. Here is one image of a guy who decided to invent an electricity free fridge. He made it out of clay. Basically an earthen ware fridge where you put the water on the top and then thanks to the porosity quality of the clay the water seems around the entire fridge and then evaporating causing the fridge to cool down by at least (he claims) ten degrees. Not bad for storing food stuff/ fruits etc.

 

We had speakers who went on and on about fonts and types and explained the nuances of each. What a beautiful feeling. The guy explained how he designed the look for the Kate Moss logo which wis essentially just the name written in the right font. Then he explained how he designed the numbers on the back of the Puma jerseys for the African nations in the football World cup. Then we had characters who designed sanitary napkins at really low costs for women in rural India, creative head from Google, some more font guys, creative, designers  etc etc. It was a mind boggling array of speakers.

One wise HR head once told me – I don’t mind sending you guys for any training program. Just being away from office for a couple of days and meeting people of different companies would open your mind. And if the training is actually good then it is an added benefit. He is right. Hence I have never ever said no to a training program. I would love every training program that comes my way. Be it a conference or a classroom session. Go out and open your mind to possibilities. That is the key thing. You meet people you learn stuff, you interact with ideas and you possibly implement a few – who knows what works. It’s always nice to be exposed to various different things. You are only better from the experience.

One of the things I was exposed to this tie around at the conference was – Goan cuisine. Non-vegetarian Goan cuisine. I went there with four colleagues who were hard core non vegetarians. Every meal was like a dead aquarium on the table – Bombay duck, shrimp, prawns etc. add to that there was other sorts of meat on the table. It’s a good thing that over the years I have learnt not be queasy about this. In fact I get curious about it. I ask questions about the meat, how they eat, what are they eating – the tastes, differences etc. over a period of time I have gained enough knowledge about it. In fact a few friends many times wonder about the knowledge I have on the meats they eat. It’s a curious mind that opens it all. I don’t know why people get all touchy about the subject. A lot of my cousins (the older ones) would not want to eat in a non- veg restaurant and would die rather than step inside a KFC. I have been to KFC to eat veg stuff. It’s a little bit ugly for a vegetarian to see people biting into wings and legs but if you don’t go in you will never ever know.

So to compensate for my restricted palate I have developed a strong curiosity for all things vegetarian. I now on my travels always ask for the local veg special and try it out. Anything goes as long as its veg. this time around also I tried all sorts of veg stuff. Its helped me get introduced to new fruits as well. From my travels to Singapore I have been introduced to this lovely fruit – the dragon fruit. It’s an awesome fruit from the cactus family. Its mildly sweet and mostly bland, but really flashy and juicy. There is no real cutting required. You just peel the skin off easily and cut it if you wish or slice it into two with a knife and eat of the contents with a spoon. The seeds are tiny and scattered through the fruit and there is no spitting or removing the seeds before eating. I love the fruit.

We hardly got in India. Recently over the last couple of years we have been getting it at the super markets at reasonable prices. It’s currently at around 25 bucks a piece. Jispa also absolutely loves the fruit. Jasmine took it for her to eat after swimming. Many mothers had never ever seen the fruit, let alone taste it. They were pretty curious. One of them was asking Jasmine if this fruit any special properties, thinking that it was a special thing for Jispa’s diet. I did look it up later to realize that it is being touted as the next great big thing to eat, nutrition wise.

Here is Jispa reaching out for one piece. as you see i get great pleasure form cutting it into thin slices. its even better that way though you dont really need it like that. It is quite easily our favorite fruit. All from having just a little more curious mind than normal. Go out and open your mind – now.

daddy cool, birthday in pool

Jispa celebrated her tenth birthday on the 31^st of the month. Tenth birthday. It should be a big event. When Jispa was a year old, Jasmine and I took a call not to celebrate her birthday. She would be too young to really enjoy it. We see all the parents celebrating the first birthday with a big party. The kid is typically tired at the end of it all and what do you really expect a one year old to feel about it. Besides getting red check by being manhandled, there is nothing really for the child. So we just decided to give it the skip. After that we have had smallish parties for Jispa on her birthdays. A few core friends, sometimes a few more than that, but never done it on a large grand scale.

What’s a large grand scale? Well. The other parties that Jispa gets invited to are a good benchmark. Ever since she started going to school, she has been invited to big parties. Typically done at a function hall or an open garden. You call at least 50 odd kids, then the parents come with them, and then you have catering for a 100 guests, then you call in the party organizers who come in and decorate the place, and have various stalls, like face painters, tattoo (paint) artists, games etc. then you have a DJ for the music, a sound system, possibly an air castle, then a guy who will make the kids play various games, prizes and the last – return gifts. You could end up spending anywhere between 100,000 rupees to 300,000 rupees. That’s a pretty tidy sum for a birthday party.

Jasmine and I never did feel like doing that. What we told Jispa is that – you call in your core friends and we could take them for lunch or dinner, possibly play a few games etc … but we also made a pact with her. her tenth birthday party would be however she likes it to be. As big as she wants it to be. So a month back, we asked her what kind of party she liked. The thing is that after the initial couple of years of parties, the kids are now basically bored of any party. They go in, run around and then just hang around on their own. They don’t want to play games too much, they eat a bit, throw a little cake around and done. Jispa also gets bored at these parties. A classic case of over exposure or over stimulation. They are bored stiff and Jispa said she doesn’t want a party. Aww. Ok. But Jasmine and I were not happy. Jispa has been the sweetest kid ever. She never complained about not having a party, or about having a small party or calling only a selected friend circle. Two years back we took her friends and gang to a garden and made them play, last year they were at home…  but she never complained and she was always happy. So Jasmine and I really wanted her tenth birthday to be nice.

So how do we make it special?  Jispa clearly did want a big party so that was out of the question. We asked her if she would have a party at the gymkhana where she trains. Ok, but she wanted a pool party. Hanging around the pool with kids. Fine, but then I will get the kids and make them play games – is that ok? I insisted on making the kids play games. Jispa was game for that as well. So the plan was set, pool party with daddy as the games guy with lunch at the gymkhana. The majority of her invites were her pool buddies with a few school friends who could swim also joining the gang. Another close friend of Jispa’s who birthday was around, joined in to have a combined party thrown.

So last Saturday we invited them all and we had 24 odd kids in the pool splashing around. I take great pride in not requiring a games guy. Why the hell do you need a games guy. What am I there for?  I think only boring old lazy fellas need to hire a games organizer. I can do whatever he can do and have more fun. So what do you play in the pool. The coin game is start point. You throw a coin and retrieve it. That’s a start. So let’s start building on it. So Jasmine got coins of different denominations and we started playing. First put them into three teams then get two parent volunteers and start the game. First one is retrieving one coin that’s in, then a specific coin of the two denominations that are in, then three different coins, then a combination, thena  total, and then all… the volunteers kept throwing different coins at different intervals. Played in the shallow end, the result was one hour of complete entertainment.

They came out for cake cutting and lunch and the party ended with the kids having a blast. The mothers who were around acted like captains of the teams and they too had a blast. And the net cost – negligible. Less than the cost of sending invites to a fancy party. Possibly less than the cost of designing an invite to a fancy party. And this got even the over stimulated kids excited and roaring for more. And physically fun as well.

Uncle Jaimit never felt this good. At the end it was a high five for Jasmine and me. This is the typical partnership we work with. I dream up stuff and Jasmine helps bring structure and helps me execute. I control the game and Jasmine works quietly in the back end. Keeping all the other things ready and in control. It’s been like that since college days. And Jispa got a party she deserved. Awesome fun.

Here is the pic of me with the kids. I love this one. Just look at me. I am beaming. I was so happy that day and for a few days following.