Ah well. The hospitalization was not as dramatic as I would
have (not) liked it to be.
I like my attitude in life. So far I must have faced tons of
shit in life. Most of the time, I look at the stuff that happened in the past
and not be bitter about it. Some of my bosses were extremely horrible and I
thought that was ok. They taught me a lot. Some of the incidents I have had in
life have been quite tough but at the end, after a few years, I have been thankful
for it. They made me stronger.
When I was about to be admitted to the hospital, I was quite
sure I wanted to do all the stuff myself. I was determined to be independent. I
did not want Jasmine of Jispa to fret over anything and I did not want o
inconvenience anyone. I wanted to be a cheerful and happy patient. I was sure
about it. Hospitalization is a very different experience and the only way to
enjoy it is to think of it as a learning experience, much like a department
store or going to Ikea. You look around you, you make mental notes, you think about
how you feel and you enjoy, even if you don’t want to buy anything.
I enjoyed the
hospitalization in the same way. It was a new retail environment for me. I got
admitted, filled in the paperwork across the three counters, changed into
hospital clothes and was happily hanging around and talking to the doctors and
nurses. It was pretty good going.
When I was being wheeled in to the operation theatre Jasmine
and me were joking around and smiling. We were in high spirits. I was telling
jasmine that’s its great thing that we got to experience the hospital, the
operation theatre and other scary things on a minor knee surgery. It’s not a
mission critical procedure. This was a voluntary surgery that we had to ensure
I can lay sports. The risk of this surgery is very low. So the first, possibly
intimidating experience was so easy to take in.
I was happy speaking to the nurses, doctors, staff and
everyone around. That was quite a nice experience. I was telling jispa that I
was very happy with my attitude. I saw this potentially scary and irritating
experience as a learning ground and I kept my spirits and happiness around me
high! That’s important. This ability to see adversity into an advantage or a
learning experience while smiling is so important.
I hope that when my time comes and that I might be close to
dying, I should still be able to smile, laugh and enjoy the experience. I want
to think about my last few minutes and wonder – nice experience. I want to look
at myself and say – good man, you didn’t stop learning at all. Of course it’s
going to be emotional and tough to know you are terminal. But I still want to
be awesome and fun at that. That’s my goal.
I wonder what may be the best way to go? A terminal illness
and knowing it’s going to happen or a sudden situation like my dad. Sometimes I
feel a finite time would also be interesting. I read two books written by
people knowing that they were on their final journey. One was When breath becomes air by Paul
Kalanithi and another by the legendary Hans Rosling – Factfulness. Both were
interesting reads. Paul’s book was amongst the best books I would have read in
a long long time. His prose was brilliant and his description of his experience
was mind blowing. Possibly it kindled a
bit of a thought in me. Possibly that now at 43, I am closer to death than I am
to birth, has sparked these thoughts in me.
But I wonder.
Coming back to happiness. Yesterday I took Jasmine to
Starbucks at BKC. BKC has three. Two of them I frequent. In both the places,
the baristas know me very well. They greet me, talk to me and make me my
awesome coffees. So when I reached there early with Jasmine, they greeted me
warmly and asked me how I am and that it was a long time since they saw me.
They give better service and they smile at me and talk. I even got a free extra
shot of coffee to make the horrible one (Tahitian vanilla macchiato) taste
better. Jasmine was wondering.
Next day, Jasmine was telling Jispa – do you know, dad is
known to all the baristas at Starbucks and they greet him like a long lost
friend. He has his girlfriends everywhere. Hah. No. It’s not just about
frequenting the place, it’s not just about having girlfriends. It’s about
knowing the people who serve you. It’s about speaking to them by calling out
their name. It’s thanking them, smiling and being nice to them. This is how
people know you, you get warmth and you spread warmth. There is a joy in that.
I make it a point to make my coffee in a certain way, then I sip it in front of
them and tell them, [name] it’s awesome, I love the coffee you made.
Such simple joys. I enjoy these little micro interactions
with people where we chat/ talk/ smile move on. This is how we make friends in
places that acknowledge us and are happy when we come back. This is the way to
spread happiness all around.
I did that in the hospital as well. Spoke to the doctors,
nurses, ward boys, everyone. Smiled, laughed, understood back story etc. This
makes life so much fun!
