suno sab ki, karo apni

I too can sing? Can I really sing. Of course not. I bray but I love to bray in style. I like singing and humming along songs. I have always been jealous of people who can sing. Dam you guys. How the voice comes out automatically in tune. These are guys who don’t need any training. Ever since they were born all they had to do was open their mouth and sing in tune. These are guys who now walk into karaoke bars and grab the mike and sing. They know all the lyrics and the tunes and just throw themselves ta the music. I never loved music enough to listen over and over and get the lyrics right as well. But one song that has stuck in head since a long time is the famous Kishore number from Door gagan ki chaon mein. I love the wordings. A father is dreaming with his child about a place he wants to take his kid to. A fairy tale place where happiness lives. It’s a lovely song. When we were kids we had started a kids club called the Blue Star club. In that we had these singing competitions among other things and one guy used to win by singing this song.  The simple tune and the easy lyrics captivated my mind and with the advent of fatherhood, I found deep meaning in it.

Last week end we were in Pune for Jispa’s swimming championship. We stay at the VITS hotel and there they have a karaoke bar. We were with friends and they naturally hit the mike. After singing along a few songs, they urged me to try my hand at it. Seeing the playlist I saw aa chal ke tujhe. The same Kishore beauty. I couldn’t resist. I let go. At first I was reluctant. Then I started to get eth hang of it and then started singing. By the end of it I was in full flow, trying to sing in tune with the pitch going up and down and generally making a complete happy fool of myself. I loved it. As usual my lovely wife was providing all the encouragement she could. She told me while I was singing that I suck at it and should stop. She made all sort of faces, she told me I am too hoarse and that it was really bad. I happily ignored her. Thanks Jasmine. But now I can rest. I always wanted to sing in public. I sang! It was a big relief. A sense of achievement. I always sang along with the radio in the car. Jasmine would always tell me to shut up.

Moral of the story – those who really care for you will offer you unbiased and well-meaning advice. They care about you and tell you the truth. So when you want to do something discuss with them and then go ahead and do or don’t do exactly what you want to do or not do.  It’s your life. Only you know what you really want to do. In end you answer to yourself. Not your mom or dad or anyone. The closer they are the greater the vested interest in you. They really care for you and hence they can’t really be unbiased as regards you. So they will tell you the truth but progress never depended on what accepted as truth. There is no real truth to start with. Do your bit. It is finally your life at stake and it’s not likely that you will get the chance to live it again.

So Jispa when you grow older and I give you well-meaning and trusted advice that is likely to be the right thing to do. Listen carefully and then just go and do your own freaking thing. JUMP!

the struggle to reach the fleeting buddha

I still find it queer (pun unintended) that a lot of us educated people are also homophobic. My favorite rejoinder is when people talk about how in today’s generation, we will have to accept whatever cast or creed the person who our kids choose as their life partners. I correct them to ‘yes, also whatever the sex of their partner is’. Invariably I get a slight pause. The person looks at me, catches my eye for a few seconds and tries to ascertain if I was cracking a joke or something. Nopes – no response. It’s obviously not cool to be a homophobic. So in the face of a high moral ground taken, the other guy invariably is silent. Yes I have a daughter and yes I am ok to the choice of her partner. Surely I will freak out if she chooses a druggie or someone I consider completely dumb. Also it’s another story that I am likely to find anyone who has an IQ slightly lower than Einstein as dumb especially if that person is dating my daughter. But definitely the sex bit is out of the equation.

So if it’s a senior person I am talking to – I always learnt to give that person an exit hatch. I allow that person to wiggle out of a potential wedge. So this time I allowed for – it will take one more generation for us to accept same sex marriage as it will take this generation to accept inter cast marriage. Hehe.

Allowing an exit hatch in a conversation is something I have learnt over a period of time. Especially when you have the benefit of strong insight or knowledge behind you or simply you have a strong enough counter opinion.  Life is too short to fight over such small issues such as a humble opinion. So many times I actively try getting an outlet. So I explain how the other point of view is valid and likely to be the right one or search for an excuse to honorably exit. Too many wars have been fought over petty ego issues.

There was one other incident somewhere related to this issue. I was being wooed for a job by a senior person recently. I declined but was happy to recommend a friend. The friend then told me that while having a conversation with the senior guy, the senior guy referred to me as ‘The Buddha’. To my mind there is no better compliment than that. Especially considering the fact that I have consciously worked on this. I laughed and told the friend that if you were to tell my mom something like this then my mom would burst out laughing. Jaimit a Buddha? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. I told my wife about the incident and guess what – she almost spat out her coffee and started laughing. ‘you a Buddha?’ HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sure. That’s the drift. Dam you guys!

Being a Buddha doesn’t come easily. You need economy of motion and expression and mental thought. The ability to leave things there while simultaneously trying to change them. That did not make sense did it – then it is a buddha’ism. But seriously that word struck me serious. I managed to, in some small tiny way, achieve a balance in my persona and achieved for however a fleeting moment – the concept of the Buddha. It felt really really nice. A lot of that comes in meetings when you don’t fight on ego and when you allow the honorable exit in meetings and discussion and then when you take people’s opinion and try and forge a consensus. And people like me – die a thousand deaths in the process. It is unnatural and difficult. But I am still gloating about the fact that someone referred to me as the Buddha. However fleeting a moment – you live in it for eternity… a ha that’s another one that didn’t make any sense… or did it.

And just a verse from William Blake. I recently read it and hence the show off

To see a world in a grain of sand,

And a heaven in a wild flower,

Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,

And eternity in an hour.