stress busters are so silly

How does one maintain a consistent mood, average or thought process through out the day, day in and day out, month after month, year after year? It is so bloody painful. Some times a series of shit happens and one is left feeling sad and down. Its increasing difficult to avoid the swings but thank fully its not as bad as it sounds. In negative swings I would typically be a little more circumspect and a little withdrawn. I also bounce back by doing things that give me pleasure and good news. So my worry is not the bounce but the questions that can one have a consistent behavior. Can I somehow convince myself to keep a steady mood and not be swung by the temporary emotions? How does one achieve this steady state? And this steady state has to be true to the inners of oneself else or else maintaining a state that is not consistent inwards and outwards would only mean more and more stress. Stress is something I seek to consistently avoid and skip. Not that life will not throw you stress. Stress is in its management. I learnt over millions of years to manage it better, handle it better, slide it off better. But sometimes it just becomes a little difficult. I think most of the difficulty will come from uncertainty. Not being sure, or being in dilemma’s is what causes the severity. I have learnt to handle shit, but am still learning to handle the undertainity. Slowly but surely it getting better. That’s why I am not so bothered by its depth but more by its mere presence. Sometimes the stress is accentuated by recognizing it as thus and therefore creating more of it by worrying more about it. Crazy but true. Not recognizing leads to more stress, recognizing leads to more stress. Only finally achieving solutions relieves it.
The biggest toll is actually eustress. The good stress that you have before a match. The stress that pushes you to perform. Today most of the stress is eustress.the tsress that you seemingly want to take as it improves your performance, keeps you on your toes and is essential. In times of plenty as I see now we are in, the biggest killer will be eustress. By itself in isolation it might be good, but the ability to manage many isolated instances of eustress might be something of a problem. How many flanks can you open? In bad times you close all and focus on the big problem. In really bad times lot more bad flanks open but can be many a times traced to one underlying problem. In times of plenty many such good stress points get created, thus the ability to multi manage these and create cohesive driving force is tested. While it might not be as gloomy as it sounds but there is a warning there. I will learn, you will learn, we all learn someday. It’s the bloody interim that is difficult to control and manage. I think the key solution is to first reduce the intensity.

As I write I was talking to a friend whose nick is goripari. translated as white fairy. So generally was chatting about some work and I got inspired by her name and I wrote the silly poem for her….

Tell me oh white fairy
Which way is the dairy
Do we drink to our health
Or wait for our wealth
Any way the ganga flows
Taking water from the snows
Cleaning sins as it must
Creating boons from busts
What to do, how to live
Live we must, drink we must
Are the answers in the dairy
Tell me oh white fairy….

I must thank her for this … it suddenly put me in a rocking mood. Made me feel all nice and charged up. A little creativity goes a long way… even if it does not make any sense.

blind man's buff and father powers

I was at the international airport dropping off a cousin. I dropped them at the departure and went down to park the car. Now if you want to travel in lifts in mumbai airport then you better be blind. No no, there is nothing obscene about it but only the fact that all the numerals on the lift buttons have been erased. The only thing that’s left is the braille dots on the buttons. So what do you do? I guess Braille is pretty useless if you can see it ( you know what I mean). So the next smart things I to look real closely and press the button that’s worn out the most and hope in hell that that’s the right one and the right floor. Come to think of it from the car park I would not know what level is the departure area. So even if the buttons were there, I would still press the most used button to get to the right area. A-ha…. The power of the wisdom of crowds. Elementary Watson!

Also another thing I love doing is carrying around my daughter on my shoulders. It’s good fun. But also what amazes me is that how a father does not get so tired carrying his daughter. I like to carry her long distances this way. I was quite surprised that we went to Palitana, which is some few thousand steps up and then down. I carried her on my shoulders around 85% of the way. Without really getting tired. I sure it’s the mind thing. I also remember walking up and down and all around Matheran with her on me. Being a father is so wonderful in many ways and this tireless energy is just one of them. At the same time she can get soo tiresome :) this is how father hood reconciles opposites.

This is when not only her but also her friend decided that i was the beast of burden.

Also they figured that blinding me would be good thing to do.

christmas fun

Little things go a long way…. Office must be a fun place. We spend more time here than home. I have always believed that one should be able to do a lot more things to make the place livelier. What’s the point of being in a drab bloody place? Life is colorful. Everything must be colorful. What say? And if we in marketing, being the so called whacked ones can’t live up than might as well be in accounting. Sorry for the barb but I think the most boring people are in audit, accounts and administration. These guys take themselves and their jobs sooo seriously, it just worth the effort to ruffle a few feathers here and there. The key is to know a few skeletons that are likely to be in his closet as well know the rules very well. Becoz the guys so live by the rules if anything is slightly off it or beyond it, they are most likely to get confused. So I really enjoy riling them. Faltu kiddas I have on this. This is our Christmas celebrations in office. Its nice to get all the team together to celebrate Christmas. Its nice to have a Christmas tree, but its infinitely nicer to get them all to put it up together. KEY WORD HERE >> TOGETHER. Lots of offices have Christmas trees, but our team has one they all can be proud of. After all (from my earlier blog) “Pride matters more than money”.

letter to you.

Hey jippy. Some day you would read this blog and wonder, mera baap pagal tha. If he had to write something personal why did he choose something so open like a blog to write it. the point is that you are right. Teara baap pagal hai. ai!
I like the concept of open book. To tell a lot to a lot of people. I like to be more open than closed. I like more and more people to be aware of things in my brain and in my heart. The more people see what’s in the more they hopefully learn at my expense. Well its my bit of contribution to ‘world peace’. Ya sure. Well I duno. I just hope that some one some where is getting some little pleasure reading my blog. Sometimes reading even simple personal letters to you my dear. I love the relationship I have with you and I would love the world to know of it as well. And its not that the bloody blog has amassive readership in any case. I am not sure how many people you will meet in your life, that have read this blog. I certainly don’t think the number would be material. But the benefits of a public blog may be many. For one, since I know some friends read this as well, I try to have a little variety. Some random articles, some funny one, and some faltu fart (philosophy). And I sure hope you don’t grow up to be a pain and wonder what an ass of a baap you had, who told the world of the small silly, potentially embarrassing things that you did as a kid. Yaar, I think it’s kinda cute. But sorry if you feel bad about it. The risk is worth taking as I write. The flip side – no blog. And yes I sure sure hope that you find the blog some where worth your while. Full tragedy if you hate it. Even if you do, let me know fast enough. I hope to be writing this well into the future.
Hehehehe. And what else. I hope all is fine with you. Hopefully I am not dead by the time you are reading age for this. But then life is tough. Grind hard and dig hard. No body has it easy. Don’t take solace in other people’s miseries. Learn to have an internal locus of control. Take all what you can on your chest. Take blows and fight on. Don’t make the same error twice and use EVERY opportunity to learn. Every body , every thing teaches. Be smart. And above all – be nice.
I have been reading Satyagraha in South Africa. I cannot explain how bloody profound and brilliant Stayagraha is. The difficulty is in its simplicity. So simple and yet so bloddy difficult. I am trying to use some of its principles somewhere. Some blogs in the future would have some reference to it. Simply put – the truth shall set you free. FREE. What an outstanding feeling. The freedom glow from being above it all, the freedom glow of knowing more. The freedom glow of inner peace. The freedom glow.
Jyada ho gaya nah! Thoda tone down karna chaiye tha. But whattodo? Fart is also free!

principles

defination of principle - ethical standard: a standard of moral or ethical decision-making

Principles are cast in stone? Every person would have a certain set of principles. In fact not having principles is a principal in itself. I normally pride my self in having a set of reasonably set of strong principles. Normally they are not for compromise. Recently one got troubled and I almost moved. Then the moment of truth and back to normal. The moment of truth is one of the most exciting things to happen to someone. It proves faith in the system. The internal system that beats in and out all day long. It defines you. Its always nice to see that the system is tested and strengthened. If it is not tested it will become weak. Thank you wife, thank you god, thank you all. My system works and it’s not for sale. So screw you if you want to buy it. I decide and I stick by it!
That felt good. I don’t feel like writing anymore. This is too much for today. In fact this will stand for a looong time to come.

Jispa Art Mural

Jispa painted her first mural! I always wanted to paint on the walls. So the first thing I did when I got my own walls was allow Jispa to paint on it. I had a Saturday morning free with her and me alone. So we decided to have some fun. She got so excited when I let her know that she could paint a wall on her own. She was like “No sheet? hehehe”. Guess that’s what kids want. Just to do something that was till sometime anathema. So she freaked out on the paintings. In hindsight it looks quite cool. I guess we will do the entire wall and then the entire house. Full on!

See the pic below and see if you can decipher what my kid is painting. Look thru her eyes. Answers below.

1. A building with doors and a hole to see who is at the door. The zig zags are the steps.
2. Simple one – butterfly
3. hahaha bet you did not get this one – crayon
4. Boat
5. Another impossible one, clue lies in the color – grass (with a black outline)
6. Excellent remark – akin to the one her teacher makes on her books.
7. TV
8. Life cycle of a plant – the top of the plant is chopped off by the photo
9. Life cycle of a butterfly. Notice the caterpillar and pupae.
10. Boy in a fighting picture?!!??
11. Six point star.

Any one with a Freudian mind bent wanting to synthesis the same and give me clues on what she is likely to grow up into?

Nirvanic walks

Huffff… yesterday I was a bit later than usual coming into office. As I hit the bus stop I realized that I had only 100 rupee notes and no small change. wuu, whoz gonna argue with the conductor for a 5 re ticket. And listen to gaalis early in the morning… so I thought why not. Let’s walk. I used to walk into office two years back. I stopped when the winter ended. Yes yes… I know it’s just a notional winter in mumbai. It’s never really cold. But atleast you can manage to get to office without having a sweaty wet stinky shirt. I normally walk faster than most but yesterday I decided to slow my pace down a bit. A fair bit actually. I tried noticing the people, structures and other paraphernalia around. It’s interesting to see how people, a majority of them walk and run to office with their eyes looking down. With the city pavements you are always avoiding a hole here, a sewage there, a dog etc. And not to mention plenty and plenty of feet. So every one is walking with eyes down. I don’t even think beside the conversationalists anyone even looks at the heritage buildings. We fret and fume and spend so much agony over whats happening to our heritage. But the guys who work there everyday don’t even care a dam. I think the simpeast way to make people concerned about the heritage is to make them notice it. and the opnly way to make them notice is to get their eyes off the floor. The only way to get their eyes off the floor is to ensure smooth and predictable pathways. This way they walk with their eyes up and see around them. This way more men and women notice each other. The more they like each other, the more hey fall in love, and pronto… World Peace. Ok ok ok…you can’t get rid of Saddam by better pavements… but you sure can ensure beautiful facades. I don’t mind Iraq war as long as I can get a prettier surrounding that I can look at. What say?
Also slowing down walking is almost a nirvanic exercise by itself. You actually need to control your walk steps, breathe a bit, and relax. The world just seems different if you are slower than your normal. Try another stress buster. In the mad rush, just simply follow all traffic rules a s a pedestrian. Cross only at zebra crossings; walk only on pavements, cross only when the green man smiles at you. It is actually a big self control not to walk ahead when the teeming mass behind you is inching forward with a nervous pregnant energy, conquering space and redefining the road available for the car. But resist this force, and feel the energy flowing through. Wait on the footpath and start your cross of the chasm only when the signal turns and you will realize one outstanding fact as you are triumphantly crossing. The pedestrian crossing signal does not give you enough time to cross the road. It is built to discount the fact that you are already half way across. And you suddenly realize you only half way there when the green man disappears and the red man motions you to stop. You swivel right, all the share taxis that run amuck in the morning are aiming for you and you bloody run like mad across the 30% that is left, trying you best to look down so that you don’t trip, look up so that you don’t hit the opposite guy crossing and then building up into an almost flying trapeze jump across the gutter that is always placed at the corner and landing in the arms of the lady who is busy talking on her cell while getting to office (eyes down of course). She gives you the loveliest ugly stare and mental swear you could get in the morning. aha ha… what a nice day….nirvanic exercise was never so touching.

run buddy run, then eat

They all run... they allways do..

Jaagte rahooooooo….. all the old independence era movies would show the ubiquitous watchman trying to do his duty with his nightly calls. I guess today there is a slight variation. It has to be bhaagte rahoooo…. Only for a mega metro like mumbai will a obscure number like 738 make a significant amount of impact, in fact this number is not prayed to will ensure a late entry to office, a missed movie starting climax, a late date, and a possible firing. Many have their own numbers which they live by 642, 827, 956. some of us even have made the code more complex by making it alpha numerical, such as 926 BO, 745 C or 648 P. hmmm. The plot thickens. Because many times the 743 CST is followed by the 1 SPL or is preceded by the 142 or of course the alpha numerical 6 LTD. So the entire sequence is 730 5 LTD 755 CST 1 SPL. A complex piece of action orchestrated with clock work precision.

For the dim witted or the plain sleepy towners who haven’t caught it yet the code (730 5 LTD 755 CST 1 SPL) is broken as:- leave home at 7.30 am to catch the 5 limited bus to get down at the train station to catch the 7.55 Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus local to catch the 1 Special that takes them to Nariman Point. As I said Bhaagte Rahooooooooooooooo.
This two decimal point precision is further fine tuned if you catch the bloody train at CST station. Since the trains start there they have installed huge digital clocks that even show the seconds, so as you enter the station you know that you have exactly 36 seconds left to catch you train, or exactly 48 seconds to run to your compartment and find a place to rest your butt (not park it – seating is not that easy with 48 seconds left). You also know that you have potentially 55 seconds left if you want a plastic vacuum packed bag of peanuts. How? Well 48 seconds for the train to leave and another 7 seconds the boy take borrow as he can jump while the train is just about to leave the platform. Ooohhh. We live the razor’s edge… cool nah! Now all that I want to see is the train timetable showing the train leaving at 6.46.38 am.

While on the peanuts I have always wondered on the way the vendors pack the peanuts that are sold at the station. The nuts are naked and packed in plastic packets that seem to have air sucked out of them. Since we assume that this is not a multi million rupee investment on the plant and that the Nehruvian dream of small scale sector is at full play the only option is….. the guy rubs the dry peanuts with his palm, blows the husk away with the air from his mouth. Then blows inside the plastic to open it, puts the nuts inside and then seals it with the heating element. Now how does he achieve the vacuum? Hmm, the only way is by sucking the air manually before sealing it completely. We are not even on the topic of does the bloody thing gets dry in the first place. Also while on the topic it is interesting to note that thanks to the advent of AIDS, we have a lot of cases of TB among the lower strata of society. This TB is getting worse and s getting increasingly resistant to treatment. So much for a blow by blow account! Pretty cool, nah, how the promise of a 2 rupee peanut snack is so beautifully played out. YA.. Anybody hungry for a snack?

Eat India from delhi to bombay

Trains… lovely thing they are. I always like them and I loved traveling by them. But I guess the demand on time are soo much that I rarely use them these days. Flights are it. flights are so impersonal compared to trains, so bad and ugly. There is some romance left in trains, though I don’t get to see many PYT’s in trains at all.
I went to Delhi in a flight but I came back in train. What a smart decision. The Rajdhani is an awesome experience. They keep feeding you through out the journey. Starting with water, snacks, soups (yes sir with butter and bread sticks) and dinner, with sweet dahi and ice cream. And next day breakfast. Move over cricket, its eating that’s India’s number one entertainer. I could just see all the guys in the trains getting surprised at the platter and entertained purely on the eating. The gastronomical delights score over voyeuristic or even patriotic delights. I am convinced India is born to eat. The clarion call of today’s age is Eat India! Notice how when you go on a date you normally go to eat, when you go with family you eat, when you go to the movie you eat, when you play cricket you eat, when someone dies you eat, when someone marries you eat, on corporate meetings offsites, anything we eat. All this talk about eating is making me feel hungry now. EAT EAT EAT EAT. It is not by sheer co incidence that the longest running TV show in India is, yes sir, Khana Khazana.
Hmmm coming back to the train journey… its nice not to have too much crowd to interact with. I finished a lovely book start to end. It was ‘the making of Sholay – by Anupama Chopra.’ I always liked her writing before. She writes well and the book was a delightful easy read with lots of interesting trivia thrown. A must read for Sholay fans. Aren’t we all… very nice. I read in one flat 4 hour session. I don’t think I have ever read a book start to end without putting it down. This is the first one… I even was laughing in parts. I had to control or risk the train guys thinking me to be mad. Good fun. I suddenly rediscovered train journeys. Will have to somehow figure them in my vacations again. Forced long quality time with Jispa should be quite nice. Only thing is that I used to prefer non a/c, but given the bad hygiene in trains and family, I prefer the A/c. Its far more stress free. Non a/c can get to you at times I guess. I guess, life grows on you. I would want Jispa to back pack on non a/c but I guess it’s ok either ways. The principle being that don’t complain on the heat, dust, pollution, dirt etc. I have been thru much more in my life and I would want her to go thru a lot of it as well. But who knows when she grows up what will happen. I definitely don’t prefer a soft pink chick. But then that’s a dad’s point of view today. When she grows up I might just as well give her money to fly all over. Funny thing this parenting is. Kuch long term plan hi nahin karneka… full ulta ho jayega.

marry more, whack more

Been away for a couple of days and already got mail on why is the blog not being updated. Accha boost hai to my blog… thank you. Keep pushing, dear friends, I really love you guys.
Haan, toh I had been to Delhi to attend a friends wedding. It was a nice good punju wedding held on the open lawns. But man was it cold. Luckily I reached at 3 pm; and I was feeling really cold. It just scared me enough to buy one wool sweater as reinforcement for the evening. Yet I was freezing … next to the fireplace! The fireplace sittings can get interesting as your front feels nice and warm and your butt is frozen solid. So then you turn around and get what you always wanted in life – a really hot ass. And punju weddings get over at 2.45 in the morning. So it’s nice to enjoy the cold. The only thing that got me warm was when we wanted to wring the bloody shoes off the dhula. Let me tell you the entire story. The dhula’s shoes are always on great demand so he exchanged them with his best man. so after the ceremony the ladies wanted to get hold of them. So I simply suggested that they lanch a physical attack. So I got the guy, put him on the floor and well…. attacked. In the mayhem some other best men came to rescue which were effectively warded off by the women tickling. More best men came. In the free for all, the women started attacking me as I was attacking the shoes that they were also attacking, with them thinking that I was protecting what I was actually attacking… whew… so they were tickling me like crazy, but one slight problem… I don’t get tickled. So all I got was very very aggressive pokes. So after clearing the confusion I went about the task of getting the bloody shoes off… wow... wedding scan be fun. A good place to release all the frustration of traveling in crowded trains and office work. Just go to a few weddings and then whack the shit out of people either getting the shoes or protecting them. WOWIE>>> weddings are fun. No wonder I advise all my friends to get married fast. In fact if I enjoy this too much I will ask to get married more often!!!
And also I have no clue why they deck the bride so much. She looks lovely without the entire getup, then why the hell do they mess around, sooooo much. Well she still managed to look pretty inspite of it all and definitely not because it. So when she asked me how she looked. I gave her – you look pretty. But then that was the truth. The whole truth was – you look pretty, but you look prettier without the getup… but it was nice to see her get married. Always a cute thing to see girlfriends getting married.
And I rediscovered the joys of train travel…. More on that to follow...

Jintan and love for the morning

I found Jintan. Any one familiar with the pill? While shifting houses, akin to the ocean churn, one of the things thrown up was a sealed Jintan pack I had bought god knows when. It was good fun. Jintan was my dada’s favorite pocket mouth freshner. It was his standard remedy for me. I was never a great morning starter when I was a kid. I used to get morning sickness. Simply put early morning start on vacations in a car used to bring out the breakfast in me. So in go two Jintan’s in the hope of retaining breakfast (futile) and then in go two Jintan’s to feel better once the breakfast (usually milk) is bubbled out. So the taste of Jintan does remind me of the fond memories of travel with family. Feel funny in the morning, the memory of sticking your head outside the car and feeling the crisp morning air, keeping mouth open to dry, and the typical smell of Indian dhul – mitti. I like that. Its funny how despite being such a bad morning kid I still love and have lovely memories of the morning. I guess it’s because unlike my bro/sis who were busy sleeping and me busy puking. So in hindsight I guess puking was better to sleeping blissfully unaware of mornings, unaware of sunrise, unaware or nip, unaware of haze, unaware of beauty. I have remained a morning person since. I love sunrise, I love leaving before dawn and driving out to catch the sunrise. I guess in hindsight its no wonder I wake up early and am in office by 8.30. One hour before the din arrives. Also with the new house with lots of open spaces around I get to catch the sunrise while driving out (winter I guess). It’s lovely. I love it.
As my father in law like to say - "warning, dont miss the morning".

here is the view every morning as we drive westward.

compassion

While we get to see a lot of pretense we rarely get to see any amount of genuine compassion. We will see a lot of passion or I would like to call it misplaced aggression, but compassion is in short supply. I am always moved by acts of compassion but to incorporate genuine compassion is so difficult. It’s sometimes so funny to see a lot of people get so moved by dead cows, dead kitten and dead dogs etc on the road but would have no qualms eating it…. hahaha its so bloody funny. Compassion my ass….
No, don’t get me wrong here. I am nowhere near compassion as I would like to be. Or would dream to be. I guess many times I like the laws of nature to take their own course. I try not to interfere with it. Let not compassion interfere in what nature has held out. But ya, I try and help if I can. But to actually understand what compassion means is to meet two of the finest individuals god has produced. One – Prem Sundar Narayan, two Rajesh Shadevan. It is thanks to sheer luck that I have come in contact with these gentlemen. These two by sheer force of their nature have changed me in more ways than one. Their ability to touch, heal, change the very people they meet. Their ability to ---I don’t know how to put this ---- subjugate themselves and yet retain themselves is outstanding. Their greatness in their ability to rise without meaning to, or even wanting to. It is by no mean a co incidence that they the best – the very best – brand strategists I know of. For, to understand the brand one has to understand the consumer, and to understand the consumer it is important to have genuine compassion for him and genuine empathy. Only if you are able to feel genuinely will you make a great brand promise and great brand delivery. Which bloody B school / prof will explain compassion as a prerequisite for strategy? Only compassion will let you see beyond your own mind shit and your own preconceived notions of what the consumer wants, needs or feels. So much time is spent by kids trying to figure out brand strategy with a lot of shit and shat thrown in, but people doesn’t realize to be a great brand strategist one needs to be an outstanding human being. Care must be your core virtue for it to translate outward. CARE CONCERN AND COMPASSION. It’s no wonder we find worms and acid in things we eat. It no wonder people are increasingly fickle and disloyal about brand choice. We won’t dare change a doctor / nurse / teacher who is caring, then why would we change a cosmetic, soap, a gel, a food, a drink. We need more Gandhi’s in marketing, and we need more of them in strategy. Sometimes selfish goals can only be achieved by true selflessness. Opposites do reconcile.

hero again

I have written about the hero’s journey before…. I find it so fascinating. I see kids growing up, I see my office colleagues growing up, I see my kid growing up and I see myself growing up. They were just a blur of growth till I understood (in a little way) the journey of the hero. Instead of a blur it seems to be a series of steps leading up the path. Each step small or big shapes up and moulds us. Many of these steps are in the form of success and failures and many more are just break outs of independence or dependence (marrying for one). I have learnt to love to watch these steps in my life. It seems so lovely to see these steps leading to somewhere. The milestones getting planted in the psyche of journey. If viewed as such they seem so much fun. They give to me at least a lovely philosophical angle that makes me smile, that makes me resilient, that makes me believe in myself as a hero. The hero of the journey that I have to complete. It is so like the fantastical tale where the hero overcomes many odds to win the princess. Which reminds me of the story I once wrote for the college magazine. The story was a very simple fantasy tale with witches and dungeons thrown in. nothing separated the story form the Hans Christian Anderson tales Except for the ending. Here the hero in his last swish of the sword is about to slay the evil witch and chooses to forgive. I forget what really happens but in his act of forgiveness he resurrects someone something….. the editor of the magazine in all his wisdom edits the story and kills the witch and publishes it. What a cracko… I still feel so shitty about this. Why do we impose our own ideas and paradigms on the world. Why the fuck do we not let people be. We should just let people explore and form their own paradigms. Recast your own rules. Change is about making it happen. If it requires you to graft in and dig hard… so be it. But make it happen. Take your time, graft harder but make it happen. Bhen kiii… after all it’s your journey and your choice. Aaagggghhhhhhh…. What the hell… if you choose not to change the world, and flow with tide…. That’s also ok re… sab chalta hai life mein… itna bhi complex nahin na hai. Just get a rule that simplifies the entire life as you see it. the journey story works well for me. It simplifies the entire growing up and taking shit and happiness bit. That’s a large part of my life. Ma ki aa… itna variables hai ki at least the rule must be simple to see all in one lens.

poetry blogs, photo blogs

I was reading some random blogs today and caught my friend blogging. Quite a nice blog. I have linked her here without her permission. (I am not sure she will mind or not. But heck, it’s nice and on public domain) She clicks great pix too... hmmm, I always knew she was immensely talented, but somewhere I felt she is not using her strengths enough. Too much thinking can many ways be a bad thing. But hell, that’s not what I wanted to do. some blogs are lovely. I like the way she wrote. A lot of talking to her self almost great poetry. Similar to what quite a few blogs write. Some how I realize while I love that writing, I don’t quite write like that. I dunno! what is my style? I think it’s much like talking to other people than my self? Or is it talking to myself ‘my style’. One will only have to see.
I click a large number of photos, thanks to digital cameras; but for some reasons I only upload the ones I click on my phone – why do I do that? I dunno! But putting up some snaps might be interesting, I guess. They are not too bad as well.
The recent offsite at Shimla I clicked quite a few snaps and almost none of Shimla. I am quite bored of clicking scenery. I life people snaps, emotion snaps and ‘that moment’ snaps. Why? I dunno!
Lets see, let me upload a few. Also the big thing for me is that since a lot of my snaps are of people, I fell almost breach of privacy to upload them. Since I also click when they are not noticing – thanks to 12X optical zoom, I make it a point to first show them the snaps. Some real lovely snaps are therefore quite private. Hmmmmm. What to do? I dunno! I guess I will just start a new blog exclusive to photos.



Well at least there is one snap that I can show you guys. Jispa’s amazing drawing and imagination skills. Do try and guess what she has drawn -------------------------------------------------

it’s actually a snail with a cake on top with a cherry on top of the cake. You figure where is what. Also while we understand the cherry on the cake its up to you to figure out why is the snail carrying the cake. GO ASK HER!

Discovery.....

When you read books you never know what you are going to get. Even the worst book will give you understanding on bad books. Whenever I read a book I try and look for only one thing, that one nice big thing that will remain with me for a long time to come. Many a times it is something tangential to the core area of what the book wants to explore or propagate. I just finished reading the ‘Call of the Mall’ by Paco. His earlier book ‘why we buy’ was an outstanding book and I found this quite a let down by his standards but a great read nevertheless. This is a great compliment for the guy’s insightful thinking. But the one line that struck me the most is almost the last line in the book - Discovery is one of our most satisfying emotions. A fantastic insight. It is by no means a coincidence that we love lectures where the prof takes us on a journey of discovery. He knows what the results will be but the journey of us discovering is so fascinating. I too try and get tehkids to discover by themselves a lot of things. The only thing they need is a direction. Among the bets projects that I have received from the kids is when I give them a blank mandate, to research anything they want, start talking to a hundred people, discover seemingly unrelated insights and then focus on something they think is brilliant or astounding. These are normally the projects that get them most excited and they remember it for years to some. They love it and the learn so much because they have discovered insights themselves!!!!!
We also feel great joy in discovering a bargain, a great shirt, a lovely book, a nice place to eat etc …. The journey results in the exhilaration of discovery.
It also applies to office. We love bosses that let us experiment and let us discover by ourselves. It is called freedom at workplace. Hmmm… I have been doing a bit but also have been guilty of not doing it enough. Lets see. I have tried a lot to stay away but tightened noose when the run away has been far. How do I get to manage this? How would opposites reconcile here. Difficult but possible.
Same for parenting. Lets see if I can get Jispa to Discover a lot on her own…. Will only have to show her possibilities / directions. Will have to let her discover limitless joys / emotions / lands / games / stories and much more on her own…. After all DISCOVERY IS ONE OF OUR MOST SATISFYING EMOTIONS. What a commonsense insight. Always the most brilliant of insights seem like common sense in hindsight.

college days are meant for ...

If I were younger this is the time to be…. Man when I was in college women wore mainly salwar’s to college. But these days you can’t see anything but denims. I know so many guys who used to wear formals to college. I used to be among the few wearing denims every day. The colleges these days are a rockingly colorful place to be. Luckily being in a relatively heppier town college and I was not as starved as many others in different colleges and in different cities. Fashion shows were a norm and they were all over the place. So skin was never an issue. But I guess the sheer multitude of fashion hitting you in the face is interesting to say the least. Hmmmm…. I sound like an old fart but the way I see the colleges moving it seems like an anthropologist’s wild fantasies come true. The length of the skirt would have inverse relation with the balance of payments reserve of our nation. I mean in my time as a nation we had barely enough money to pay for our next month’s import and we had to pledge our gold!
It is also interesting and amazing that we somehow went through college without … horror of horrors …. INTERNET. I mean how did we do that. In fact I even passed B school without the essential Cut Copy Paste, without internet; doing projects by referring to the library. How menial is that? And yes, we did not have cell phones as well. Wow…. It’s a wonder we ever managed to coordinate and go anywhere. And I also remember paying 8 bucks for a rear stall ticket at sterling cinema…. Also I just remembered… I paid a grand for a custom built calf length cowboy boots! I have no clue how I did that. I actually used to wear them as high fashion. They used to zip up and heat up like hell. They were also heavy and with leather soles they were slippery as well. They also had some chain around the heel. Aaagh the sins of youth!!!!

Beaten by the loop, saved by the cream

Sunday was my morning at home all alone. I had the option to either play cricket or do some odd jobs at home. So I figured, let me do a quick job and then I will figure what to do. The errand at hand was tying the nylon ropes for the clothes to dry outside. Hmmmmm. Should be a five minute thing. So I decide to start trying the ropes and hmmmmmm. The rope was freshly bought and looped in a special manner. I had no clue that one has to be very careful while unraveling it, else……yes... they get into a mess very fast. So I spent the next hour trying to unknot the ropes. ONE FREAKING HOUR. And it was a trying experience. After opening a large part of it I realized that the open part needs to be kept properly else that too was getting tied up. So after untying the ‘untied’ part on a ‘belan’ like kite manjha I start working on the other end. Figuring that the other end will meet this one to complete the process. So I put that in a loop and used my watch to secure it and then and then and then….. I gave up. I just took the knife and cut the rope! I gave in and admitted defeat to a humble loop! What a humbling experience. Then I tied the clothes line. Believe me, keeping it tight and tying a 12 feet X 4 line in a space you cant stand properly (4 feet high) was quite a bit. I had no energy to anywhere after that. So that was an hour and a half to do a 15 minute job. Good thing we had chocolate almond fudge ice cream at home. Worth every worth the effort! What say Jasmine?

The attached photo is of me shivering in the Shatabdi form Haridwar to Delhi. The trains are bloody hot or bloody freezing!

school blues

Today was parents teachers meeting at Jispa’s school. I get dam bored at all these interactions. Not that I am disinterested in her school progress, but hell she is only 4 years old. The teacher has nothing significant to add. It’s all like Jispa is sweet. She now has started talking in class and other such simple silly inconsequential stuff. I want to ask more but then I don’t get too much feedback in return. Either the teacher is not so smart or that’s all you can talk about a four year old. In any case these teachers have no real insight nor can they discuss parenting. So its one of the ya ya.. ok ok .. hmmm… kind of conversations. What a bore man. But I guess it’s important to go as a habit. You get to see the school, teachers etc for whatever its worth. I guess its important just to be in touch. The teachers know, your kid knows that you take interest in the school, and shows importance you attach to education. Besides that not much for now to get from bacha’s school.

Below is the chopstick we stuck through poor golum's chest on our office white board. so much office boredom.

the hero's journey

Shifting into a new house is quite a journey. Especially when it’s your first home that you have made all by yourself. A very interesting thing happened. Jispa for the first time was to sleep all by herself in a separate room. I thought it’s a big thing for her since she’s only around four and a half. She seemed quite enthused. I gave a long set of instructions, where is the bathroom, where we kept her water, where to find us (one room away!), which light will remain on, and all. I think it was a small step in her hero’s journey. She also had her very own terracotta army (see picture of her ten Ganesha’s) to help her along the journey. But I realized something very important. The step was as much her step on her journey as it was mine on my journey. It was a step towards me letting her on her own. A cutting of a symbolic fraternal umbilical cord of sorts. And the cord was mine to let go, not hers! I slept bad, constantly thinking about how she would cope. I checked a few times if she was likely to fall off. I think she too was a bit taken in by her first brush. She woke me thrice – one for water getting over, one for getting hungry (luckily there was an apple) and once for mosquito biting. She normally does not wake up like this. At night (or early morning, I don’t know) while I was feeding her the apple she told me that she went to pee by herself as well and the subtle idea being that she did not wake me up for that. Hmmmmm, as Joseph Campbell said you have to lose your one state (die) and resurrect into another to complete one leg of the hero’s journey. Today, I think she died an infant and has been resurrected a child. I died one stage of fatherhood and have been resurrected another. The journey continues…

Mind Memory

Of all the things I want to lose the last thing I want to lose is my mind. And the only thing I won’t realize losing when I lost it is… my mind. OPPOSITES RULE!! Mind is such a powerful object. It can run you or ruin you (sorry for the bad figure of speech). It’s also very difficult to control. I have tried my entire life to control and harness the power of the mind. But to very obvious noting, they have turned to near naught. A few leanings though…..Over a period of time the mind learns to deal with a vast majority of problems only if you have conditioned it to learn and keep learning. I feel that there always connections in the brain that keep happening and reinforcing. These connections over a period of time give you conviction and character. Personally it has been fascinating to note how the mind evolves as an object that merely responded, to an object that has learned to respond. More like muscle memory in sport. There is something I believe in ‘mind memory’. If given sufficient scenarios played in your mind then most likely, the mind will be well equipped to handle it when the need arises. It also what some people call being paranoid. A state of readiness and effective call to action will be achieved only if one borders on paranoia. This is basically to envisage a range of possibilities that can arise given a situation and then condition the mind to be prepared for the next steps once it happens. This is also simply called margin of safety. One has to envisage the range of probable options, visualize solutions / course of actions and then let go. If you constantly think about it then you are only creating a paranoid state. This state is only required in war. And if you are on war front constantly then it can only add to your stress. So I try (also recommend) the old scout motto – be prepared. That’s all there is to it.
So next time the teacher / boss catches you day dreaming tell her that you were mind memory’ing. So that’s should be a valid excuse to get you out. But you would also need to mind memorize what to do if you get caught in the first place. What shit.

jispa's ganesha's

Quantity versus quality. What to do? What is the trade off? I have settled into a routine that makes me write every day I am in office and bunk writing all other days. Obviously I cant think of something profound every single day. Some may even argue that I cant think of ‘anything’ profound, any day!!! Whatever, but assumedly writing only when I think of some ‘eureka’ thing then I am likely to just not write at all. I mean how times does one get the chance to run out of the bath tub stark naked shouting Eureka eureka. Archimedes was ugly but at least he had something universal to say. So dear readers – do subject yourself to my TP and hope that some days I will write better than others. The other thing is that I am likely to write shorter than longer. If it is boring – gawd – atleast it ends fast! So everyday the routine is that from masjid to VT station I will start to think about what to write. On a good day I get two three topics and on a bad day – none. So I just keep writing, backspacing, and rewriting! But the fact that there are some of you who read makes me keep going on and on.
Yesterday I just finished the shifting and settling of my new home. I am happy with the shape it took. It was almost as close to the original visualization. Dam cool. Nice warm and completely livable. I had gifted Jasmine a set of 10 Ganapatis years back. Tiny terracotta ones. I arranged them in a row. They overlook Jispa’s bed. I was telling her that she will have 10 Ganesha’s protecting her while she sleeps. (we hope to see her sleep alone byherself) She kinda likes the concept. So lets see. That set about a conversation by her asking – REAL GODS? And I said something abstract like - No only statues but the god is real and he will protect. And we got into some highly philosophical discussion on real god versus statues and the fact that we cannot see god so we have statues etc etc. funny learning coming form an agnostic. But I am amazed by her ability to simplify and comprehend abstract, philosophical discussions and distill it in her own way. Interesting. That’s why I never try and get to dumb with her on explanations. I like to keep it as close to my understanding but with simpler text.
will try to get the photos of her gods and publish them here...

service any one???

I love these PSU’s . the way these government organizations will have customer weeks. So if you are a customer you are only requested to come alive during the week and the rest of the year you may die waiting in the queue’s with cobwebs around your ears. Its been a few hundered years since I last went to these banks and saw the aunties (not) process the work. Man they used to treat you like shit and the customer is like an interruption in their serious conversation about, about,… god knows what. But human nature will not change. The new kids on the block are the spanking new designer clad super hyper active banks. I like to call them the ‘big box’ banking. With the obvious mantra of customer king and more such mantra’s they rae here to take your money mange it and return a profit (not to you, their share holders – idiot). One such bank (promoted by a housing finance company), suddenly decided to send me a letter. You are no longer receiving a salary in this account therefore this is not a zero balance account. Chalo theek hai. Will maintain minimum balance. Next letter 10 months hence. You are not receiving a salary in this account so we are closing this account in 30 days. RESPOND OR DIE! Abe chutia, have you seen my minimum balance? Its 50K. Why would you want to close the account unilaterally, especially when this is a profitable account. So I go to the branch and they say sorry, this account will close becoz some one in product management took this decision and so basically SCREW YOU. I am requested to open a new account with new account numbers and my existing auto debit credits can jump in the well. So I take their case, drop a few names and request to see the branch manager. The poor soul decided to hear my case and make a ‘rare’ exception in my case. Main bach gaya maa! Main bach gaya… Its not about customer week, its about customer orientation!! Another big box bank with the logo ‘i’ gave my wife big time pain on some real piddly issue of transferring money. Same ruse worked. Coolly screwed the agent by taking his name down on a book, asked for his reporting hierarchy, said I work in a bank, dropped a few names in his senior management and walked off. Surely --- his call came apologizing! Hmmm, work gets done only if you do your research well and know some interesting names. Not the big boss name that come in the press but one or two down the line.




Coming to the second photo. Our dear BMC was paving the pavement at VT station with noble intentions (random question: if the pavement is not yet paved, then can it be called a PAVEment? Therefore can I run the car on it?) So somebody dumped the entire sand pot on the place where the bus line works. So pray tell us how would the line flow?






The third is a lovely photo of the HOLY COW wanting to bless our train with its HOLY URINE. OH sooooo holy. We are truly blessed. Location? I don’t remember… probably somewhere in the ‘cow belt’

She’s got the look.....

I find it highly amusing to see the look on the everyone’s face. Its the typicall look that one can associate with that individual. Like I see one guy in the office building everyday. The bugga will have a perpetual scowl. Or that prof from college, who always had the look that he is going to come down and box you. In fact his scowl was so prominent that whenever something made him smile the whole class would go into raptures. I guess my college mates and guys from commerce would figure whom I am talking about. It so much fun seeing the looks. Some guys will have that perpetual confused look ( a big friend of mine). Some profs will always have the nice sweet look, some will have that sweet look along with the ‘I am trying to get tough so that you don’t mess with me look’. That poor prof will always get messed with in any case. Some profs will always have the harassed look. I loved the Shivi look – he was always with the BIG Obliexesque smile with that burly mouchie. It rocked man!!! And that would turn into a worried frown when he wanted it to. I always felt that unlike others he could control it and produce his look at will. That’s a prince!!! The other look I loved was Mrs Hasina. Top class!! Always genuine. That look that said I am genuine, and I am genuinely interested in teaching and I am genuinely interested in caring about you. Mrs Dias had that look that said I am nice but don’t get smart with me mister! Some students of mine always have that “Siirrrrrrrr” look. Like they are always dying to meet you and some have that I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo boooored look. Most of the students staying in south Bombay will that I am soo bored and I couldn’t care less look. Man its so much fun to rag them. Some students will have the DUHHH look! I am soo DUHHH that I get confused which hand to eat with, look. Some just have that, I want to be seated look. Some have that I am dying to have a crush on someone look. This applies to men and women. Some will have that I am toooo smart for this class look.
Hmmmmm. Talking about teachers and crushes makes me remember my crush on my teachers. Man how many did we have…. In school I remember one Clare Alvaro. I read later in an interview that even Akshay Kumar had a crush on her (yup same school different generations). Then there was a French teacher (yup couldn’t any better figuratively) Ms Anna. She was very sweet to me. Then the college profs – the usual ones every one loved – Mrs Saxena, Mrs Dias, Mrs Haseena, Mrs Kalhan….. we had guys just attending Mrs Hasina’s class purely for her. Man I guess it must be quite nice to be “THE” prof in a college. We used to admire Mrs Ballaporia too, she used to carry herself very well. Hmmm.. some of these profs I still meet in college when I go to teach. I hope they don’t kill me after reading this!!! I still love them!!!!
I really don’t know why I loved college, but I sooo miss it. Teaching there make me feel that I have gone back. That’s why I just feel funny wearing formals to college and when I go to teach I dress like I would if were attending it my self. I can’t even sit in the staff room like a prof… so unlike me….My mental frame is similar. And the poor canteen waiters whom I did not tip in college for lack of cash get some obscene tips from me now. The Jaihind redemption. And with kids I always pay as I remember not having adequate pocket money then. But these days they get some huge amounts, but who is paying for them… I am paying for all, for me… on that philosophical note… tatatatatatatatata.

oh please can you 'please'?

For all these years one was told that money does not make people happy, money cannot please, money is not the route to happiness etc etc. I was not sure so I went on the quest my self! After 9 years of slogging my butt out I have reached some respectable balance in the bank and net worth. And now I come to the conclusion that hmmmmm money does make people happy but its up to us to digest it. like all food, if you walk a bit after eating, eat only what you want and take time to digest it, then it will probably make you feel nice. Else you risk bad gas. This is analogous to money. Money typically has no problem. The problem lies in its pursuit and use. But that’s a 31 year old talking lets see a 41 year old me speak on the same. How much saner can I get?

And yes, after days of suffering my beard my wife was pleasantly surprised. I shaved it off. Poor thing was wondering why. Actually its not too much to write home about. Basically I went to get it trimmed and the dickhead barber did a real horrid job of it. He trimmed it till I could almost see it no more. I in fact asked him to pay me! What an ass, but I am sure my wife would want to thank him. My daughter was surprised to see the shaved look as well. Her first reaction ‘you look like someone else’. Hahaha she now finds the cheeks rough and wants me to get my beard back! So mommy was explain why it’s smooth and daughter was explaining why it’s rough. Some gospel once said – women are tough to please!

Yesterday I felt like the god. We are doing a CD Rom about investing and my team is heading the project. I had hazaar vies on the navigation, layout, topics, and wanted to put in extras like – related links, related topics, further readings etc. then we decided to buy the Encarta to get some inspiration (anu malik style). And Voila --- they also have the same structure with related links, related articles and stuff exactly like how I had visualized it! Some one with common sense and decent exposure can almost match up to bigger experts. This is an important effect of reading. Its gives you exposure to world class facts, opinions, practices, norms, procdedures and learnings. I attribute it all to reading a wide range of topics and selections. Read read read read read read read read read read …

leadership durc

One of the nice things that happened at the offsite that I got to learn / relearn some of the leadership principles. We were divided into 4 groups for a treasure hunt around a 4 km hike. Decently tuff hike for amateurs. I managed to weasel my way into a team that I believed had decent guys. These guys were not necessarily the fittest, but they were definitely more fun types and not so much pain types. The philosophy is simple – people do not need to be motivated, they just need to be shielded from demotivation. The team had the basic skills and fitness. So all they needed was someone NOT to push them too hard. On their own pace they reached the finish line – not only the first but also the fastest that the resort had ever seen. 1 hour 30 minutes as opposed to the previous record of 1 hour 42 minutes. I was appointed the leader at the start. I tried not to ‘lead’ too much. Just ensured the right guys were doing what they wanted to do. But more importantly I was just spending time with the last person on the group. Knowing the typical treasure hunts that resorts have, I knew that the clues won’t be too much rocket science. So the pay off will be on the whole group finishing about the hike about the same time. So I let the group move ahead and only pushed the last person by singing and pace setting. I was sure the catch up would be simpler in the down slopes at the latter part of the race. We won by a handsome margin. But also importantly I refused to push anyone too hard. It’s after all just a simple race. If people know their job, have the basic skills and have a desire to win then that’s all that’s required. Don’t push …. Just try and remove any demotivation and be with the guys slower than the group. Mind you the slower guy might be faster than the rest of the teams. And VOILA… good team. A lot of good individuals by themselves, left to themselves will present outstanding results. The aggregate has to be good, not individual brilliance. There might be a whole host of lucky breaks (black swan problem) to help us. But still, some principles improve what luck gives… After all opportunities are every where – its up to your understanding to capture them and max them.

Also another thing I love is taking lots of photographs. I don’t like taking tooo much scenery, I prefer portraits and the various moods that can be captured. Lots of guys love the photographs. But you know what irks me more – after seeing the snaps they ask me which camera I have… and they praise the camera. Oh bloody hell… just by taking Tendulkars bat you can’t hit Warne for a six. Mine is a nice camera, agreed, but it’s not the most expensive one. I love it when people love the photos. I love taking their snaps and then gifting it to them. People are so beautiful when they are normal.. and that’s the time to take their pics. Else they must be put in odd poses that they enjoy for best effects…

Sturgeon's Law meets Mallika - woooooooooo

Sturgeon's law - 90% of everything is Crud. Good for us. Otherwise imagine shifting thru 100% of data that the world throws at you. Unlike the famous Ogilvy quote about 50% of advertising is wasted; the problem is in knowing which half…. Most Crud is easily distinguishable. What is not may retain and will help over the life time. So say hurrah for the Crud else we would be living with football size brains that have mutated over time to retain the 90%. And if Mallika’s brains were in her unmentionable parts as most agree (this might be potentially read by my daughter) then wowie for the despo bihari bhaiyas that have migrated overseas. But what if we are currently filtering out 90% crud, then does that prove that her unmentionables are actually 90% bigger. AAAGGGGHHHHH. What is this that I am writing? My core audience for reading this blog might be 50% skewed in favour of the fairer ones and this will potentially put them off. Or will it. I am sure they hate Mallika in any case and would love to (not on the face of it) disown her. Jispa when you are older and if you are reading this, please do not judge your father to be a cheap one track bastard. I am actually completely screwed by a three night four day offsite that that had one night in the train and two days traveling. And of course Sturgeon’s Law was at work there as well. Or was it Sturgeon’s Corporate Law – 99% of everything in corporate in crud :) (corporate life is really funny. never a dull moment. i would hate to give it up) What always amazes is that for all that Crud, a lot of us are surprisingly making a lot of money (opposites reconciling). But from that to assume that one needs 99% Crud to survive in corporate is similar to the Black Swan problem. "No amount of observations of white swans can allow the inference that all swans are white, but the observation of a single black swan is sufficient to refute that conclusion." So what to do? The trick is in not getting to frustrated and allowing crud to settle at manageable levels. Each one will get to a level where they are comfortable with not only the crud that is thrown at them but also will get to an acceptable level of crud they themselves throw. One man’s crud could be another man’s durc. Durc is opposite of crud. Forgive the bad joke – its 7.49 pm and I have had my share of crud thrown at me but not enough thrown back. So helpless reader – stay on. Also a perfect example of CRUD – DURC is this link on Falsifiability I encountered while researching the black Swan problem. Outstanding as it may be… I made no sense of it! In spite of knowing the bloody theory!

And guess what some kids (more than one is some) have been inspired by me to start their own blogs… yahooooooo…. I am piece of shit so you be that tooooo…. No offence meant. Good job kids keep going.

Corporates - the MSG generation

One more offsite to go to today. Gawd. Duuno what real strategy emerges form offsites. Its good to meet all the guys from all the branches and figure out what happening and what we as marketing can do next. Its ok, not bad but its definitely not a vacation that my wife believes it to be. Surely not. I rather be cuddles up in my bed drinking coffee. Which comes to the next point. Why can’t I have an expresso machine at home? The big bloody industrial one. That should be cool for making some lovely coffee. Hmmmm. Nice thoughts to have early morning. That is surely making me want to order some really cold coffee. Will have to call barista. Our office has some really really bad coffee. Completely hopeless. The other day at the meet, I was the last one in the conference room and I got the last cup of whatever he was serving. One sip of the god dam thing and I had no clue what I was drinking. I was not sure of that was tea or coffee. These are all form the automatic vending machine, so they no aroma, no taste. I can’t believe why companies cant invest in decent coffee machines. How much difference to the bottom line will it make. I don’t think the employees will mind too much even paying a bit for it. anything is better than vending machine coffee / tea. In fact the machine also serves ugly tomato soup. That also will fail blind taste tests on what the ingredients will be. UUUGGHHHH. The only thing I remember being ok was the Horlicks machine at Star. That’s still somewhere near ok. But I guess in corporates, you just go with the flow. Do anything not to make the life more complicated than what it already is or isn’t. Bad coffee, bad food, bad habits bad everything. This is the MSG generation. Just add MSG to whatever you are cooking and all it does is tickles the tastebud so you feel what you are eating is tasty. Forget the fact that it will give you nightmares at night. This is the MSG generation. Eat now, use bad shit to make it just taste good for the moment, get a nightmare later, but sleep right through it. That’s exactly what a corporate life is about.

Connecting

It’s a constant challenge to connect to as many constituents around you. Of course it’s a trade off most of the time. If you connect to the good helpful guys you will not connect to the ass holes. Also if you don’t connect to the smokers its not that you will connect to the non smokers. Faltu philosophy aside, its fun connecting to a part of the younger crowd. I feel that right now I might be more connected than most my age. I can get my way around them and get them to see my point as well understand theirs. I guess it’s easier that I am 31. But I always keep wondering, how would it be when I get older. Will I connect as well, will I completely lose track, will I be so passé. Dunno. Jispa will have to decide that I guess. I sure Jispa would find it most eerie if can connect with her crowd well enough to second guess her thoughts. Will that intrude her privacy in some tangential sort of way? I dunno. Some young friends have pointed that out to me. They sometimes find it eerie for me to second guess their emotions. But so far its more good than queer. Don’t want to scare her when she is elder. Also what must come along with this is the ability to shut up and keep the thoughts to one self. Now that’s tough : ) so having said that there are so many in the work space and around that I just cant connect to. It’s almost self righteous in many ways but still work space is a brilliant example of how many contradicting forces act upon each other and hold the place together. Many roles are required of the ecosystem. If the people are too righteous, business loses a part of its meaning. On the other hand the place also requires some saints and evangelists. It’s like one of the philosophies I read in the Circle of innovation by tom peters. The brilliance is that he writes a lot of common sense but always seems so in hindsight. He talks of businesses needing the Hindu trimurti philosophy of the Creator – Brahma, Preserver – Vishnu and Destroyer – Shiva. It’s important to have all three in the ecosystem for it to thrive and move fast on. It’s also been my philosophy at all times to accept nothing as dogma. Everything can be questioned. Any belief can be undone. Sometimes this does lead to stress within the group I lead but over period of time it is important to be fluid yet a powerful force. (So much like the life giving Ganga, which ambles along accepting many rivers into it, giving life where it goes, cooling the lands, yet getting rough in parts and finally carrying all the sins into the vast sea. It is truly a philosophy to emulate). Which is why the title Opposites Reconcile. It is such an important and simple part of understanding. That’s also why I love the eastern Yin and Yang symbol. How one force is empty without the other, how opposites forces need to balance out... How all can be contained within one being. I can only begin to understand what its complete symbology means but hope to better my understanding every day. Only thing is that while it talks of two opposite forces, it would interesting to see a symbol of many forces (not necessarily opposite in nature) balancing out in harmony and being important contributors of the whole. Which without even one, the whole is empty and not self sustaining. WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA.. jyada tha who! Too much heady stuff for one morning from me…..

bacha party

It always feels nice to teach young kids. And the younger they are the better is the teaching experience. I have tried the under grad BMS kids as well as the post grad kids. Without the doubt the under grads are more receptive and more willing to learn. Most of the post grads are selfish, pain, know alls and egoistic. I guess the fact that they have got into a B school, means that they have suddenly become smarter, well read and so kewl. What more could be wrong? I have spoken in the past about intellectual arrogance that comes from reading but this is intellectual arrogance that comes from not reading. One fresh grad from the ‘best’ B school was having a strong point of view. While making him understand I was trying to quote a study by a seminal book /author. His response was to dismissively say that he does read any ‘such’ books. Toh bloody hell – MBA mein seekha kya? Kiya kya? And then have a bloody hell of an attitude and an even greater strength of opinion. And then show no respect or wither the reader or the author…. I don’t say that the book is everything. Its after all an opinion, but it is a validated opinion. It is something that someone has written form experience. It is SOMETHING! Aree mere bhai – dismiss the opinion of some book, only if you have read another, or have experience to the contrary or some evidence – not plain ass opinion.
Is liye I always want to teach younger kids. There is a lot of love that give you. They take a lot of liberties with you but that’s only once they accept you. And once you are a part of them then who the fcuk cares how you are treated by your types. I love them!
The other one thing I am accused of is being surrounded by pretty young things. Now its obviously my fault that my students are PYT’s. I treat males and female students alike. Some of my closest students would be boys and girls – equally. Sunny and other students will testify but the PYT’s are noticed by the boys and the cute guys are noticed by the gals. Yes you bozo guys – some chicks do notice you but they are just a little shy to talk about it. So as you realize it’s Even Stevens. The gals in any case these days are quick to notice a lech professor. A bastard of a prof will not get any acceptance by the girls. I realize that as many times they talk to me about their despo profs. I feel nice just not be in the same bracket.
Also the relationship that I share with the guys will be so different form the girl students. The topics of conversation are so different. The wavelengths are different and yet at the same time you can draw a common line on the basics of their issues. Opposites Do Reconcile.

jispa neveu and cricket psyche

There is always stress associated with change due to the unknown and there is the comfort of the known. Change happens only when the stress of the known is greater than the potential unknown.

This cryptic note is meant as an interesting description of human behavior, but more so it is meant to be a message for Jispa. I want her to read this and understand some of the decisions that we are taking. It shouldn’t be too tough to decipher if she figures the dates and connects the dots. And yes I don’t think she will require the assistance of Robert Langdon to solve this one!

The matches on Saturday were outstanding. The matches take a physical toll on the players and probably helping bringing the payers together. I guess with reference to my earlier blog, this might be interesting training and team building ground. Only problem is to give all an opportunity to play and perform beyond potential. It is also interesting observation to know a bit more about the players. A little more into their psyche, a little more about their true behavior, a little more about their spirit, willingness and ability to give more. Hmmmm, whoever said cricket is a boring game!!!!

my very own jogo bonito

Big tournament tomorrow. 8 a side cricket with finals under lights at police gymkhana. Should be real fun. I hope. I also hope to whack a few balls…Its funny how if I see my self, I really started playing cricket after college. I really developed whatever cricketing skills very late. I guess that’s why I might not be technically very correct but the sheer dint of perseverance helps me hang on to the game. Also at 31 the guys get all older and unfit and I try to at least have some semblance of fitness. If nothing at least I try not to have too much excess weight on. That it self is a 50 point advantage to the others.
I have learnt a lot form my cricket guru – Arun Solanki; and a lot about captainship from him. He is the boss I bow down to. Thanks to him I am playing whatever little I can. Thanks to him I am able to use brain work to further the game and many times lead team to victory. Every match, every season I think about him. Many times I try and visualize what he would have done in the situation and then try to take calls. Thank you Arun. There is a large part of me that I owe to you.
Taking Jispa to the matches is also quite nice. She equally happy if I win or lose. She just wants me back from the field. She does not like me going to play all alone.
Cricket has been more than a sport to me. It’s a game that I find mentally simulating. Today I am thinking about the game and getting butterflies in the stomach. Should I bat up or down. Should I field at covers or at midwicket. The games are lost often before they start. Lets see. I am thinking of some good motivation tools to use tomorrow. Hope they turn out right. Basic pride building, goal setting for each and every one and a love for playing! I really don’t care if we win or lose. My biggest endeavor is always to ensure we play more than capacity. Then I don’t care what happens. Capacities differ, the challenge is always to play above it!

Mohhabat kar le kar le re

Jispa is crazy. I normally wake her up and get her ready for school as her mommy cooks. These days her vacations allow me the luxury of getting ready at leisure while she gets the luxury of sleeping. Jispa has the knack of doing the loveliest of kiddie things. Suddenly she insisted that I wake her up before i leave for office. The first day I just ignored her request, only to get a scolding from her when i got back home. Man, does she remember!!!! So now while her vacations are on i have to wish her good morning before I leave for work. DAM COOL!!!! My sis often says kids are cute for a reason, else we would just not have. They require so much time and attention and care, that if they were not so cute, we would probably give them up for adoption J
I am just waiting for her to become a teenager. Then I want to see her smiling on being woken up at 7.30 am. Hehehehe.

I got a call from Saxena. I am back to teaching.. wopppiiieeeee. More kids to bore, shout, fight and love. Let see what I can do now. I have definitely grown from the last time I taught, so lets me see if I improve!

My blog of two days back led to me speaking to an angel. More on that in the blogs to come. Hopefully I can get her to part her photo for all to see.

My house is now getting closer to completion… whewwww. Mohhabat kar le kar le re, mohhobat kar le re… kisi ka dil apna le re… mohhabat kar le re… that was just me wanting to sing a happy song. So sing along with me…. Mohhabat kar le kar le re, mohhobat kar le re… kisi ka dil apna le re… mohhabat kar le re……

whack the shit out of them

Father daughter relationships are very funny I guess. I wouldn’t know the difference in father son relationships as I have only one daughter, BUT I know the daughter relationship is funny and queer. I positively hate the fuss over matching clips and sandals. I am more interested in playing boxing with her and teaching her to fight on the bed. Man it’s so cool when Jispa wants to hit with all her force. I keep telling her it didn’t hurt and she keeps trying to box me. But man, she packs a mean punch. I was teaching the other day how to give a box with her knuckles. BIG MISTAKE! I am the only punching bag she has. The first punch was straight to my jaw. I had to then teach her not to use it. And the rules for wrestling are very simple… she can whack me as much as she wants but I am supposed to only hit her softly once. I can’t hit her in rapid succession. That would be end of game. I guess she doesn’t not realize the concept of fair play! J but then that’s what pop’s are for… whack the shit out of them….go on Jispa. I also hope that she uses these skills with guys getting fresh with her. Go on Jispa… whack the shit out of them…

bloggers block

shit... i cant write anything. complete block. This happens every month end. Every month end post our department review i just go blank. i think it takes a lot of mental and emotional stamina. it just sucks the energy from me and i am left with a blank mind. Probably a good time to do Yoga - Blank mind.... see the connection!!
i also realised many people keep google alerts on various companies including the one i am working for. This is intersting. one could actually use the blog to crib about a company and the right guys in that company could possibly read your issue and respond... hmmm ... could be a great customer complaint redressal mechanism.

surrently i am pissed with hypercity. They have to deliver the bed i had asked for, but they have no clue on the availability and status. really really lost people. the monies have been paid in full and deliveries promised but not kept up. I even name dropped Andrew Levermore (their CEO), hopefully that will energise them.
What i will find most suprising is that if no one responds from Hypercity on reading this blog. And if they dont have google alerts then I think I will find out about their PR agency and ensure I never ever hire them and spread bad press about them.
lets see..... is customer service active in India?

elite - cause of teams

While I was teaching the BMS guys I stumbled on something very interesting. On a lark I started the elite class. Basically just took a bunch of kids (completely optional) and called them on Sunday morning at 7. We then ran for some time. Did some elementary yoga, did a lot of games, gave them some real ragda (basically tough excersie / punishments) like frog jump, duck walk, monkey crawl etc. All this followed by a wholesome discussion on something or the other. God alone knows why they came. That too on a Sunday morning. Their parents were wondering what happened to them. One kid’s dad insisted on dropping her off, as he was sure she would be the only kid present there on a Sunday morning. I think he was surprised to the crowd. Hahaha. Take that daddies, who thought kids won’t get up on Sunday mornings, for something completely optional and not related to studies and more so… had lots of physical exercise and horror of horrors – we even had book reading. I guess the real reason kids came was – they had fun. I don’t think they cared enough to bother if they were learning or not, they just wanted to have fun.
And for some reason the kids who attended it somehow got a bit closer to me. They keep talking a lot about elite and how they miss it a lot. well I miss it too… I dunno why it stopped, but obviously time constraints from me were top of the list.
That bit taught me a lot about kids. There ability to laugh through shit, their ability to push themselves when needed, their ability to stick out from the ordinary. I tried building a team there, who shared some “PRIDE” in coming in on Sunday mornings and doing what no body else was doing. I fell somewhere, they were proud of what they doing, I don’t think they knew it but, it stayed on in their head for a long time to come.
Which brings me to corporate stuff. We have these team building offsites. A complete waste of effort and energy if you ask me. It’s a good picnic and that’s that. I have a belief that if you want teams to come closer they need to do much more stuff together. When you are physically tired, your true mettle will come out. It’s not easy to hide emotions when you are exhausted, and there is a destination to go to. Try being nice to colleagues when you are freezing or suffering from leg sores. Trekking for atleast 3 – 4 days through not so benign conditions. That’s one offsite I want to see. Well knits teams will separate from the loosely held ones. It’s the same in cricket. Tough matches show true team mettle and leadership. You need to go through something that should leave you proud of your experience else you WILL not get much from it. Definitely not team building.

one more case of opposites reconciling

spot the difference :)

humble arrogance

Humble enough to admit arrogance.
Ever since I started reading, and reading like crazy, I have developed an arrogance that is difficult to control. It becomes difficult to enter into conversations and arguments which are so shallow. I have suddenly become the quiet guy in the animated conversation, as I refuse to give ‘expert opinions’ unless I have the benefit of some knowledge on the subject through readings or experience. Also I really don’t bother winning arguments (big change from 5 years back) as one realizes that most of the time the other guy is not anywhere near well read or knowledgeable on the subject. There is no point arguing a strong opinion. I relish talking to a subject matter expert. Reading has made me realize the value of someone’s experience and study. So its either I am completely absorbing what the other guy is saying or just turning off. I mean – whats the point of talking on the basis of newspapers / TV channels. I recommend to anyone that one should keep newspaper / magazine reading to a minimum and completely shut off TV channels, specially the news channels. The quality of reporting is going further and further down. Its better not to have an opinion basis the news. And any such conjecture developed in the brain must be kept there. The more I read the more quiet I get….. I dunno…are opposites reconciling again? Conversations that stimulate me are normally slow, less animated and where there is reception on either side. How many of us can actually listen. Its an art that is very difficult to master. I too struggle a lot on this. One has to be free from thoughts while assimilating and then be able to quicly put it all together, run the argument in your head a couple of times and then slowly blurt it. but given todays speed, we might just as well bolt the stables after the horses have fled… or the better option – shut up.

Yesterday I saw Omkara. Learnings… its best not to let someone lead your opinion on some one else. You will have to judge for yourself on someone. That guy might be a dickhead to the world but if he is good with you then that’s that. Allways be on guard, form opinions but remember – always temper down the extremes that you hear from others. It’s something I have tried in office many times. Reasonable success. And it’s a good thing I saw the movie on DVD. I would not have understood anything in the theatre – never knew English subtitles would be such a great idea for a hindi film.

networks and omkara

With 8 years of work ex, I have changed some 8 jobs… I can hardly preach on stability. The skew is even more if you consider 5 years in Kotak itself (in two stints). But one positive fall out of the same is the bloody network. The sheer number of people you know and meet over different jobs is enormous. And if add the 500 odd students I have taught over the few years, the network is BIIIIGGGG. Positive side – go to any mall and you meet someone you know, negative – impossible to cheat on wife!!!
In any case, I always believe it these networks that count in the long run. The value of network increases in geometric progression to the number of people in it. And this network will really be of any value if you are truly genuine and helpful to others in it. [nishkaam karma anyone!!!] People are not dumb. They see thru shitty people, they avoid liars and they hate schmoozers. If they don’t like you, they avoid you when they see you. Evil shit is soon alone evil shit.
So even if you cant do too much good try not to do any harm. Some people will like you some wont, but atleast you wont have too many people hating your guts. Operative words – too many. There will always be some dickheads, jealous shit and insecure chappies who will not like you just becoz you are either too nice or little successful or friendly or just whatever. Ignore those bastards, they don’t count for shit in your life.
May the network be with you.

I have found another use of the team jackets in office. They came in handy today when someone else wore the same shirt as me today. Bach gaya – the jacket was on whole day.

Also with the current look, I have been getting remarks like abhishek bachhan wannabe, shryas talpade, (worst one) himesh reshamiya, mangal pandey (no real connection), or the one I like – Omkara (saif ali). You judge.. photo is attached…. and yes - the sleepy look is for the intense look!!!!!

teaching blues and mumbai taxis

my kid was not happy to see me... she's staying over at her nani's place and i went in the morning to drop off some of her clothes. she thought I had come to collect her. the first thing she did was make a face and then told me to come post the vacations!! cool... and all this while i thought she liked me :) hahaha... good fun thing this 'parenting' bit is. they probably grow to let me know that i did a bad jobon them. hmmm, thats why i like to keep it simple and loving as opposed to complex startegies... wehaven't yet got her to taste any aerated drinks, simply by not having it as well. if we dont drink, she does not want to have it as well. its difficult teaching, while you go ahead and flout all rules.
Also i went and bought some hand puppets. it was good fun playing with them. the tough part is trying not to make every quality time with your child an intense teaching session. i dont believe you need to teach all the time, but i sure believe you need to learn all the time. i guess we just need to have a ball with the time we have and leave the rest to the kid's ability. i use that while teaching college as well. Not 100% of the time should be spent teaching. that will completely bore the pants of the kids. I guess even 30% quality time with simple clean concepts would be enough. HAVE FUN - if you learn in the process, cool.

one visitor from london office was wondering how the mumbai taxis run with the fuel meters always on empty! and that too all the taxis??? I had to explain that most of them run on CNG/LPG and their indicators are the small grren dots next to the steering on the left. Whew, he was glad to know that the taxis will have enough fuel for getting him to the airport!

sweet spot

One of the little things I really like is sleeping on the sand at Chowpatty. (The marine drive one). I think that’s one of the lost experiences in the city. As I often like to say - there is no better solitude than in a crowd. (opposites reconciling again) Being a part of a teeming mass but yet all alone gives a funny feeling. Sitting on the beach and looking at all the neon signs, hearing the distant din of traffic and getting a Talia massage done is a complete stress buster. That too for a max of 20 bucks within 10 minutes of my Nariman Point office.

For the uninitiated ‘talia’ massage is a basically a foot massage which is done using a small copper vessel, which he rhythmically presses against the sole of your feet. It’s a bit ticklish to start with but is outstanding for relieving feet stress. He will then show you the black residue on the vessel which he claims is your heat which has released during the massage.

I would love to get this done more often but alas….I need to go more often. In fact many times Jasmine and me take Jispa to Chowpatty, spread out the bed sheet and open the hamper for a picnic. 6 pm is the best time to reach there. Jispa can run about with a football or some other game and since it’s a clean beach, we are not so worried about her. We once took our cousin Arjun for a lovely evening and how we buried him in the sand and made him look like a mermaid. He and Jispa completely freaked out and we did as well. It’s fun to dig and play in the sand.

Its amazing, when I think about it, how some of the best spots are bang in the middle of the places you want to run from. There are many such small places in mumbai where I often run to, and I hope to write about them in time to come. If you guys know of any such sweet spots, do write in.

diwali musings

Greeting cards are good... only problem is that i hating disposing them off. So i did the next best thing. i turned them into prayer flags a la tibetians. hopefully this way the winds (AC air) will carry the wishes across the office. Recyled office air has some use i guess....i assume some day the collection will grow large and just fall off the ventilation. i hope it take sthe ventilation with it. The office needs some excitement...

I bought for myself (under the pretext of Jispa (daughter)) some really fun crackers. once she said she wanted really big fountains, i went and bought tne biggest they had. had fun bursting them. All the building kids going - wow - dam cool - and other such stuff. Allways fun to be a kid with a lot of money!!!! economic might when combined with kiddie aspirations are a potent combination. God save me from myself. Just for the record jispa cried when i burst them. she did not enjoy it, I DID!. she enjoyed the rockets though. anything that goes 20 mtrs up and then makes a noise is welcome. will have to keep that in mind the next year!

meanwhile doing up my new home is fun. cold desicion meets warm emotion. Opposites are reconciling!!!!!! result a rather haph hazard looking home... but warm nevertheless - and NO, Its not warm due to not have having AC in the living room.

2nd hand santa claus

the luxury of the designation puts me on the mailing list of a lot of diwlai chocolates. when i started my career i would allways look at the big boys getting a bulf of the chocolates and gifts, and they used to take the truckloads of them home. Now in their shoes i have decided never to take anything gifted to me in office home. NO matter what. this gets me two things - 1 - moral high ground - 2 - i distribute it all to in office, so that everyone down the line as well gets to have the lovely sweets / chocolates. I feel very light when i give it all away. Its so much fun to see all the guys devoring it in office. They have nick named me Santa claus. I call it the 2nd hand Santa.
i am not usre if most people realise that the gifts are not given to the person, but to the chair. Its the CHAIR stupid.

jispa diaries and marketing fart

i just was wondering in the morning, that over a period of time, i will be writing my entire philosophy and belief in this blog... cool. and in case my kid (jispa) wants to know what i was and what i thought, all she needs to do is to log on! and she would be able to get a sense of what her dad really is. i wish i had that for my dad. this is some real motivation to write a lot here , a lot about my learnings, beliefs, thoughts. i hope they will be usefull to those who read and hope it will spark debate somewhere somehow.
Yesterday i learnt an importnat lesson. rather relearnt it. i was in a dipstick interview where he trashed the sample copy of the brochureware that we were showing it. IT reinforced my belief that financial service marketing is all about letting the product do the talking. as long as we can give enough airtime to adequately explain - showcase the product, the strength of the product will pull it through. if the product has no strength then it is not supposed to do well in any case. it has no busines being there. In that case just get teh best sales guy money can buy and incentivise him like hell..... sometimes i wonder if i will be the man who will write the obituary on financial service marketing as we know it.

'amazingly companionable' and the top learnings

hahahahha... i got that on a testimonial on orkut."amazingly companionable" was dam innovative. i like to thank dipti for this one!!! THNAKS KID! any case that was a great start to the morning. Speaking of mornings, they tend to get heavy with me reading in the trains. i dont know if that is necessarily good, but it does give me a lot to think about. a good 30 minutes to start the day with. I am reading - 'Pride matters more than money' - Jon Katzenbach. cool book. like most, they reinforce the obvious, but then thats the thing. we need to reinforce the obvious else we get tangled on trying to understand the mystic. whatever that means.... like the god 'dharen chaddha' explaind to me that all great men see things complex things as simple. strategy is simplicity. One lens to distill all the complexity into simple problems with simple solutions. Thank you god. that is one of the best lessons i have learnt in my life.

pride matters more than money

i firmly believe in this. thats if you want a performing team or a bunch of mercenaries. in the long run this is what counts! i got my team jackets just for this! let there be pride!
there are things money can buy and for every thing else... there is pride.

i am growing a beard and no one really knows why. I am also not sure even if i know why. in any case.... i need to start teaching soon. Else i will lose an important part of myself. NEED to start teaching very very soon. need to cal saxena and get some assignment NOW>>>>