eating hats

Choose your words very carefully. You will have to eat them soon enough. But that should not stop you from still saying what you have to.

Over the years it’s amazing how words I have been forced to eat of my own. It’s not a lesson in keeping your trap shut. On the contrary just because I had an opinion and that I opened my mouth about it made me realize after many years that I was wrong. After continuing to open my mouth on a lot of issues pertaining or completely outside my realm I realized that I know jack!

You can’t really live life without having an opinion. We may or may not express it but we will definitely have it and it reflects in our actions. Jasmine and I are different in a way that she never expresses her opinion and I would always volunteer it. But that does not mean she doesn’t have an opinion. In many cases she may have an opinion and a very strong opinion. Her actions will speak louder than the words coming out. But opinion is definitely there.

Now when Jispa was born I so happy it was a girl. One of the reasons was that at least there won’t be a pressure to study. India was shining and there were many field opening out that were not directly related to studying too hard. You need have been the best of the best to make your mark. I reasoned (openely I may add) that while the girl is the same as the boy child, the society puts too much pressure on the boy child to make his mark. While the girl child can get away with whatever she chooses to do, hence the pressure to perform in class is less. While it still may be true that the society treats the boys separately, it is not true that I would ease the pressure on studying on the girl child.

As a parent I realize that Jispa has it in her to perform. She can and must do her best in studies. With her grueling swimming schedule she must make time at every available moment to study hard. From Tuesdays her tests start and we have started teaching her and pushing her to study. Earlier my stand was that keep me off the study thing. I am not going to help her study, after all these are all stupid things and don’t really test understanding.  But there are many flaws. If Jispa must have the freedom to choose then she needs to study now. And it’s impossible for Jasmine to take this burden alone. Its way too tiring and mentally exhausting. So I must pick up the studies as well. My weekend is equally ruined and not to mention, this results in strained relations with my daughter as well.

I try and teach her stuff but I am so dam bloody depressed after all this. One I have to make her study. To do that I have to shout at her. At one point while studying Hindi I whacked her with the book (not so hard though). I forget she is not a boy. It was a whack that boys don’t care too shit about. I also gave her a slap. Again not so hard. But then Jispa protested… no it’s not done. You shouldn’t be slapping me. Mom makes me study and if I don’t understand she repeats and explains again. There, I was the bad guy. I know I mustn’t raise my hand but I really don’t know how else to get her to concentrate. I never slap her or scold her on her grades. That’s a n outcome not the act. While studying, it’s so goddam frustrating. But as soon as she told me, I understood. I protested that it wasn’t hard and it’s almost playful. But she refused to accept it. So then I said sorry and I told her that no more whacks, but you need to start concentrating. It worked for then. But it still was tough on both of us. At start I don’t know Hindi well enough to teach a fifth grader. Then she writes some random stuff in her books from which I have to take up.

I should be slapping her. I shouldn’t be. Even if it’s a light one. It’s not done. My only come back is that I listen to protests and immediately make up.

The fact is that I am ill-suited to making kids study. I can make them dream, I can make them think, I can inspire, but I can’t make then study. That is one thing I can’t do, not in the current system. But I see no option for a lot of study pressure we put on Jispa. She also realizes it, she also wants to push the bar and top, but then it’s up to us parents to bear the cross. And of course eat our own words.

The more I see of life the more I realize the value of hyper-specialisation. The world belongs to specialists. Specialists who take on specific fields and are the domain experts in them. They are the ones who will inherit the earth. Standard average joes will find themselves good work but will never be able to break the ceilings. In good times and bad, it’s the hyper specialists who are constantly up on the curve and adapting to new and new changes in technology are the ones who will be in demand. The key point here is constant adaptation. A hyper specialist carries a curse. Whatever she knows will be common knowledge soon and could be obsolete sooner. So she needs to go deeper and deeper and constantly stay relevant. So I hope to push her to study and I surely hope I don’t push her to choose a field. I wish she chooses a field of her own liking and I am not forced to eat my hat then.

I have eaten too many of my own hats to the point of indigestion. I don’t want to do that. The trick is not to wear less hats but to wear more edible hats – you understand the point?

how little

When we grew up in an India of less resources we fought for more and more for ourselves. The age was characterized by have nots and an amazing string of shortages. I have heard stories (probably not apocryphal) about 7 year waitlists for cars. I know for sure that when my dad came to Mumbai from Dubai, he bought the Bajaj Chetak scooter and got it immediately by paying in foreign currency. I think it was almost exclusively available in foreign currency. A lower end brand was available if you paid local currency.

Like idiots we fought and discussed all the issues that lay before us. Corruption, economics and everything else. The big cause as we and almost everyone saw it was a Malthusian curse of over population. It was only natural to think so. When you have less to go around, you think the best solution was to have less demand to start with. Everything boiled down to lowering population. Having less children was patriotic. First I remember the family planning programs having this slogan – hum do humare do. (we two ours two), alluding to one couple having two kids.

I remember noticing when the not so subtle shift happened to the program showing one couple and the male child simply removed from the posters. It was one couple with one girl.

All of us looked forward to the China model where they strictly enforced a one child policy to curb the effects of population growth and enough and more statistics emerged which showed that while being larger for now China will soon be eclipsed by India as the most populous country the world. We would have the ignominious reputation by, I remember, something like 2035! Wow that was a scary statistic. If you thought there wasn’t enough, here – have even less. Compete with more people. Eat less food. Wear less clothes. It was crazy.

I am suddenly reminded of these arguments as on Independence Day I was at the club where there was a bit of flag hoisting and celebration. The chairman or someone got up to make a short speech and he highlighted the population problem. He obviously was from the 60’s. I sniggered to my wife that he definitely hasn’t heard about the demographic dividend. China with its one child policy has another weird set of issues. You have older population that now has a much smaller younger  population to support it. India seems to have a, what they now term as, demographic dividend. A larger younger population earning money for a smaller older population. Some even split India into four zones and talk about how the demographic dividend has already been witnessed in the west and south while the north and east are now poised for reaping the benefits while a host of factors need to be considered.

So it’s a bit of a U turn that we see. Similarly such views are also seen in immigrants. At first cities flourish thanks to the waves of immigrants that come in and then we suddenly hate them with the right wing stroking fears of ‘them’ overpowering ‘us’. Then we want to throw them out. Then different statistics come out explaining how the immigrants that come in are the best brains from around the world and that if we shut them out our own innovations die out and we as a city we will die. Today India’s (arguably) two richest cities – Mumbai and Delhi are completely immigrant led. You would struggle to find anyone in these two cities who could trace their ancestry for greater than two generations. I haven’t found any son of the soil in Mumbai at least, nor known of anyone like this in Delhi.

Such u turns are common and thanks to the amount of reading I do –I am reconciled to them. In fact the law of unexpected consequences shows up almost in everything. In a lot of my life I have seen myself turning around and questioning my own beliefs. There are two sides to the coin. These days I have been far less opinionated on a lot of issues. I have spoken of this in my earlier blogs as well. This has also led to me blogging a lot less. If you have fewer opinions to talk about you obviously are going to talk less. Unless of course you have this space and time to rant on both sides. It becomes difficult to talk to start with.

You can hear about a bit of it the demographic dividend and other stuff at this talk.

And here is the link to why population growth is required –

In fact I never would have imagined seeing a story title like this  - ‘Low Birth Rates: Causes, Consequences, and Remedies.’ Remedy for LOW BIRTH RATES? I thought that was the cure. Oh man… how little we know. How little.

http://www.becker-posner-blog.com/2013/08/low-birth-rates-causes-consequences-and-remedies-becker.html

Can you stop it?

One day Jispa old me that she has this great desire to once touch the fan while its moving. Hah! Ya sure. I told her that I wanted to touch the fan as well when I was her age. I wanted to stop the blades from moving. She said – ya she wants to do that as well. We both laughed as we shared our similar childhood fantasies of holding the blades of the fan. She told me ‘when I was small once I put a stick in the fan, thinking that I would go round round round, like in the movies.”. “ya? You serious. I have done that as a kid my self” I told her. “So what happened” I asked her. She said “nothing, the stick banged against the fan”. Yup. That’s the thing that happens. Then I asked him “do you really want to touch the fan while it’s on? There is one trick. You can touch the middle motor and not the blades. You should be fine then. Come let’s do it”. So I first touched the middle round bit and then I held her hand as she touched it. But I warned her to do it only under adult supervision. I told her that I did this as a kid. Then I narrated one incident to her. Once, (I must have been around 17/18) I wanted to check if I could stop the blades of the mixer with my fingers. So I tried experimenting with the mini boss. The hand held blender. I held the blades with my fingers and then started it. I got a deep cut in my finger and of course – the blade did not stop :) . that was my stupidity. I then tried showing her the scar on my finger. We could see a faint line. It was fun sharing these stories with Jispa. We really share the same weird ideas. How would it be to stop a fan?

A few stories that I did not tell her was that one of the things I experimented with was that I would do two more experiments with the fan. One was after I switched it off, at what point before it stopped moving altogether – would I be able to stop it. Putting my hand on the motor and increasing the friction was one. Putting a stick and even my hands on the blades when they are slower was another. The other experiment which was very successful and led to the finger in blender experiment was I would switch on the fan and then immediately try and stop it from moving by holding on to the blades. Now in a large ceiling fan that takes a lot to shrug off the initial inertia – it worked. You can stop a ceiling fan from starting by holding on to it. WARNING – any kids reading this – DO NOT TRY this at home. The fans can be of varying speed and this stuff was tried in the 90’s or 80’s. Motors and speeds have surely moved on from then on. SO since I could do that to the fan I wanted to do that to the blender. That successful experiment is not something I am going to tell Jispa about. Prudence prevailed.

But it was still fun to share a lot of these fun things with Jispa. Most of these experiments are garbed under scientific research in our brain. Once Jispa got a scolding for using nail paint in her fingers without asking. Later on I found out that it was a part of a scientific experiment on the effects of chlorine on nail paint. How long will it last while she swims.

But let me leave you with a video of a blender and stuff I would love to do at home. I think they got the amazing insight of every childhood fantasy… will the blender blend it? see all the related videos.

Choice to be reborn a hero

You are fundamentally the choices you make. Not so much as the choice itself but the act of choosing determines you.

When I first went to London around eight years or so ago, I entered the toy store Hamleys. I was mesmerized by the offerings, the toys and the whole host of sales guys playing around. It was a magical world. Of course later Hamleys entered India and I got to take Jispa there. She had grown up a lot since then and she was less fascinated by the toys and the experience. This time we went to Hamleys in London, just to see the original store.

Inside the store were guys doing magic tricks and the various different sales guys demonstrating the toys. It’s almost a pressure sale. They show you how easy and magical a thing is then almost give it to you. It’s impossible to say no. In one case, I let Jispa take it and then I chatted with her and explained that this is available in Mumbai and then she realized and put it away. It’s a difficult task to walk away from the demonstration without the product in your hand so I let her walk away with it and then in quiet the rational explanation starts. It just saves you and the more importantly the kid a lot of embarrassment. And it also teaches the kid one simple rule – just because its in your hand doesn’t mean you have to bill it :). You can always say no.

Then on one of the floors was the Harry Potter memorabilia section. There we saw the different wands of the different wizards. Harry’s wand and those of his friends. Of course the famous elder wand was also there. Plastic wands at around 40 pounds each. Wow that is expensive. Jispa felt attracted to it. She looked at me. I looked at her. She wanted one. She had a 5 pound a day budget to do what she pleases. This was easy. It was six days savings. Jispa was not a spendthrift in anyways so she was hardly spending her 5 pounds. I asked her if she was sure. She nodded. And then Jasmine and me said fair – go ahead buy your wand. She took fifteen minutes to choose her wand. She choose Harry’s wand I think. And she was happy with her choice. After a few minutes she comes back to us and tells us – no, she doesn’t want it. Huh? Jasmine and I told her to take it, no worries. We can surely afford it and we even promised that it was a gift from us. Her five pounds would remain intact. But Jispa said ‘no, I don’t really know what to do of it. I am not going to play with it in any case’. We tried to assure her but she was clear.

Now that’s a bit of character. A bit of growing up. I have referred in the past to the Hero’s journey. In our life we go through many deaths and rebirths. In our quest, in our journey of the Hero we overcome many odds and many temptations. We overcome it to emerge stronger and tougher. Jispa had one such moment. She probably saw the wand and was completely driven to own it. For a brief period she owned it and once that emotion wore off rational mind set it and she realized she was above it. She died to live again. A hero’s journey.

Londonw as special in many ways. Jispa, I realize is now an adult. She makes her choices and in the process drives us up the wall. It is easily the most difficult period Jasmine and I have faced so far. By far the most difficult. She exercises judgment but not all of it is smart. She chooses not to listen so many times. She tries to get away. In her process of growing up, we are dying a thousand deaths and are getting born again. For a fundamentally sweet kid she is now in the process of tearing away her cocoon and butterfly parents are just not being able to manage it. Probably teaching 60 kids every year and managing office colleagues, makes me possibly more … should I say  ‘philosophical’ than Jasmine. I get driven up the wall as much as Jasmine but I just bounce back faster. Jispa has been far more tougher on Jasmine then me. But then Jispa’s journey is as much of importance as is Jasmine. Both will die a thousand deaths and see the cycle of trials and temptations. They will be helped along the way by mentors and talismans. It is for them to die and be reborn to get the ultimate blessing. When they do transform themselves and come back to the real world to spread the awareness to others, will then reach mastery of their worlds. Possible the blog has helped me remain sane or stable. Possibly the fact that I teach to so many forces me to brood less over these issues. This transformation is accentuated but the death and rebirth are something for me too.

The more times in life the cycle turns the wiser you will get. And to be stronger t is important for you to share your stories. Here I am sharing mine with you. Have you shared yours with anyone?

Read more of the Hero’s journey here  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monomyth

perspectives

Long ago I too thought that the solutions to all traffic woes would be to build flyovers. As many as you possibly can, just build them and the traffic will simple cease. The simple logic being that if you don’t have halts you don’t have traffic.

Reading books by intelligent people gives you a perspective on life that is different than the average Joe. You look at life from different angles. That is the single biggest thing about reading. You understand that there are multiple perspectives and viewpoints for various issues. You also realize how much to trust propaganda and simplistic thinking. Also being in marketing you realize that you are not the center of the world. Most people (even in marketing) market to themselves and their own sensibilities. That’s not the right way to understand things. Just because you like it is no reason to have a pack design in a certain manner. Its what your core customer wants that’s important. I have learnt that India is not English speaking and we continue to throw English inside our communication. We marketer’s believe that everybody understands English. In offices in metros we think since we use English as the primary means of communication, that is the answer to everything. Of course you must understand English. May be earlier it would suffice as the big markets were the well-developed metros. But now as we look beyond the metros the vernacular languages need to addressed. The politicians and the film world have got it bang on. They are ones who have embraced the vernacular since time immemorial. But since we marketing people are based out of cities we forget the basics.

Simplistically as well, we think that the only spending on infrastructure we must do is the roads. So many people (very smart at that) have told me that the solution to Mumbai’s infra mess is more roads, costal roads, ring roads and flyover etc. No one seems to understand the huge amount of money being spent on what is a fraction of the people enjoying the service. Mass Rapid Transport is not about roads for cars but using bus and train services to connect people across the city. A network that takes a huge mass of people from one end to another. This opens out the city and flattens it evenly. People want cheap reliable mode of transport. The car is the worst thing for solving city woes. My argument has been rather simple here. My guess (only a guess) is that the amount of money the city spends on these massive flyovers can be simply utilized to do something else. Suppose we just take the number of busses on the road and triple it thus reaching far off corners and for good measure put air-conditioning to placate the office goers, the cost of which can easily be borne in lieu of the flyover constructed. Me thinks that with this kind of money you can even charge normal rates and give AC service. Ofcourse this is simplistic thinking. Flyover can last many years, far more than an average life of a bus. Plus no point having busses if your roads are jammed to start with. But the thinking is different. The point is to look at lakhs of people at the lower level than the few bums at the top.  

But it’s not easy to change habit. Over the last few years I have got the habit of travelling by car. First at kaliana and then at worli – my house is ill connected to office by public transport. It doesn’t make sense to travel thus. It takes far more time and is tedious. So I have the car habit. While I was in nariman point I used to take pride in travelling by train. This way I got my reading time as well. There is some loose talk that our office will get transferred back to Nariman Point. Jasmine and I saw it differently. I thought great - there is a new freeway from town right upto my building (literally – mine is the first building you get off to) and Jasmine said – great, now you can go by train and catch back on your reading. Oops. I missed that one. No body like change from routine.  I too am a victim of my own routine.

whats with the lecture?

My brother and I used to fight a lot and sometimes they would get bitter. We would be at blows and we would just not get along. Being younger most of the time I would lose, especially the physical fight and then I would go crying to parents to complain. My brother hated my crying and called me a complainer. What other option I had. As a young kid who lost and was subject to what I thought was unfairness I would complain.

Many times after all this my dad would sit me down and talk to me and I wondered why it that I am getting the lecture is. It was his fault. In many ways I did see dad admitting that it may have been his fault but I needed to improve. I needed not to cry. “why should I not cry. It was his fault to start with. He did this and that… blah blah blah.” I never understood why I would get the lecture. I am correct. I was wronged and hence I must be righted. Justice was not giving me a lecture but my brother getting a lecture. But I felt that I was getting it all.

I remember as a small boy I would cry my heart out and my dad would tell me to calm down. Then we would have a chat and he would explain to me in vain what needed to be done. I understand my dad much better now. In fact in hindsight I was the luckier one. I had those conversations with dad which wouldn’t have happened if he did not choose to lecture me instead of my brother. I really don’t know what conversations he had with my brother. Funnily I don’t remember him having too many which I think may not be the case.

But it took a lot of thought and age for me to realize the answer to my question “why me”. I guess the answer was I was getting the lecture not because I was wrong in the fight. I was probably right or it was impossible to call or even futile to call; but more importantly it wasn’t necessary to call. The bigger issue was how I needed to react. My reaction was wrong. I shouldn’t have fought like that. I shouldn’t have behaved like that. I should have greater control over my reactions. In fights with mom or family, I must remain calm collected and precise. I must open my mouth less. I may be right or wrong but I must understand the bigger picture. It’s a difficult one.

Especially when you are angry. When you are angry it is difficult to stay quiet. You want to talk, you want to blurt out. And if someone elder comes down to you and talks to you instead of the other one, don’t consider yourself unlucky or wronged. You are the lucky one. You will learn from the fight and the other one will lose from the fight.

Most of the times that I have fought I have learnt the most when the elder came to me and told me to look at the big picture. It hurt me at the time. Real bad. But in the long run, I learnt the most from it. But when you are at the receiving end of the lecture, you don’t care two shit for it. You are focused on only one thing – justice or revenge. Which to the accused is one and the same. Talking about which – I think for the first time in my life I think the law and life seems to have taught us – that justice and revenge is one and same thing. Now that is one tough ethical question. In fact I hate to think of it as that. How is justice equated with revenge? Dam it – this post is suddenly troubling me. I will have to leave this question in my brain for some time till I get an answer to this one.

But from another perspective, I think there is great learning just being the elder guy. If you are the one doing the quiet talking then there is so much to learn. You can see the situation from both ends, look at the issues, realize the folly of it all, and learn without getting too hurt.

Teaching is amongst the greatest way to learn anything. A close second to actually experiencing it.

badminton metaphors now?

As I was wondering what to write in my blog, one of the things that is occupying my mind right now is my badminton game. I keep reflecting back on the game and I wonder why I do what I do. For the most amount of time I play only as good as my opponents / partner. I don’t bother to raise my game needlessly at all. I only have spurts of power when have a close game or suddenly when I feel like the underdog. I don’t push to take all shots and I don’t push for kills. I have no clue why so many players run around like crazy in a badminton doubles game.

Most of the time you have partners who run like crazy all over trying to take all the shots. Why would they do that? I have never understood. It’s not like they are supreme players who can reach where no man can. It’s just that they run like mad all over.  I guess it takes time to understand a partner  but the first reaction is to play stupid. To my mind the first rule of playing doubles is to understand that you are playing DOUBLES. You have to trust your partner as well. I am guilty at times to play my partners shot. but then I kick myself and try and make amends. Understanding where your partner is possibly more important than understanding where your opponent is. Blocking out space on your court by working well as a team is winning more than half the battle.

Recently we had two new players coming in to play with us. They are pretty decent players and I realized I could match up to them. Though I don’t play the back hand smash and I don’t really do the drop shot too well but my ability to cover the court quickly and suddenly take up impossible shots is what I work to my advantage. I can keep the shuttle in play for the longest and force either an unforced error or a chance to play it into the gap that comes up. In fact because these fellows try reaching for all the shots, many times the best play is to play right in the middle when both can reach. They both will reach and either knocks themselves or end up together leaving space in the court for a simple kill. I think these are trust issues and an over self-reliance that city breeds in people that is possible to blame.

(unrelated point – I just saw a coppersmith barbet outside my office window on the tree. I love it when I see her)

But what amazes me is how my game goes up or down depending upon the players I play. I am amazed how large the change is. So with one guy who is a really bad player, I have rallies with him and then sometimes some average players come along, I have rallies with them and then with some good players – I have rallies with them as well. Why is it that I am doing like this? I like it this way. It puts less pressure on me while playing but I am forced to think of a more fundamental point. Does my badminton talk about the kind of person I have become? Do not take pangas unless absolutely necessary or if you think there is merit in it. In a way I have become less aggressive or controlled my aggression. I am aggressive enough to reach for a shuttle that seems impossible. In fact so many times the players wonder if I have picked on one bounce and that I think is a factor of my aggression and ability to move fast. But why is it that I cant kill anymore. Has age caught up with me? The wisdom that all is transitory and that you must always live to fight another battle another day?

In office also I try and let go. Focus on battle you can win but more importantly I see myself silent in many meetings. If I don’t see the point of it all, and I know my suggestion would not be understood, I keep quiet. Let go, relax, let people atleast do what they are capable of. No real point in pushing them too hard. They will simply not be able to reach the shuttle. You will win the point but the dam score in the end doesn’t count. Let them play, throw it around where they are, but more importantly practice you game, keep honing it, push yourself to do different things.

Many times I try and play not to win but to only give the other guy a good game while trying my best to improve my game. Try and be nimble, work on anticipation and stuff like that. The raw aggression of winning or killing every point doesn’t work. In doubles you don’t need to win every point as well. You let the other guy play his game, understand his game, be happy with the second fiddle, put it back in play and then look to improve. Then push and keep perfecting your skills. Points be dammed. Look at others, see their game, spot weaknesses, play easy. Is that my daily life philosophy as well? I don’t know. I guess it is a reflection of some of it.  Don’t play for a win, play for a win win win.

one way street

It’s a vortex that you are going to be sucked under. Power and politics is normally a one way street. You just can get out. The only way is to constantly try and push yourself up.  Entering is not necessarily a bad thing.  In fact we need to enter and make a change if we want to see the change. There is no point sitting on the sidelines and waiting for things to move in the right direction. Let’s take the example of the building society. A lot of stupid things happen, but you can’t really crib about it as when it comes for elections and meetings, you just don’t have the time or are willing to make time for it. Plus who really wants the additional responsibility that you take on for no real consideration, especially if you are a honest man.

At the Gymkhana I had no choice. Too many idiots were harassing the swimmers who were training. Change the timing, call them earlier (earlier than 5.45 am), restrict the batches, change the  coach. It was time to step up. And now I am a part of the committee and being a part of the change I want to see. A lot has improved. Water testing, monitoring the chemicals, life guard duty etc. Now, while we are the part of the swimming committee we face issues with the general committee and in the next elections we see no option but get involved at that level. I don’t want to do that. But the risk of idiots coming on top must be mitigated.

Power is one way street. Now that things are working fine, you want them to work fine. You want good things to continue. I think what motivates everybody is the fact that when you are in power three people  look at you greet you. The power you have over people down the line is really not that easy to let go of. It definitely corrupts. You will get and take some additional privileges and that are difficult to let go of. I try my best to ensure that none of this goes into my head.

In office I see more eyes on me than ever. The older I got the more adulation I got. Balls to it. It is a clear case of power shining through the backside. But how do I get it off from my head. How can I refuse it. I sit out of my cabin for a lot of the time. I can keep the door open, I can do a lot but the fact is that I can do all that because I have it. I can sit outside the cabin because I have the cabin. If I did not have the cabin to start with, what would I have sat out of?

Many years ago I worked at a construction company called Hiranandani. I was part of the upcoming projects of the daughter of the patriarch. I had got the manager’s cubicle. As the core team relating to sales increased I was asked to vacate and move into the smaller worker cubicle. I remember not liking it at all. I made a brave face but it hurt. At that time I vowed never to be bothered by the size of the cube or the status associated with it. Now that I have one, what do I do about it? I can’t get used to not having one when I have one.  

All this is a one way street. I am reminded of the movie Naam. Here the villain Paresh Rawal tempts a crestfallen Sanjay Dutt into the world of drugs and crime. He explains to him – this is a one way street. You can come in but you can’t get out.

I forget where the street comes in but here is one part where the temptation begins and Paresh Rawal brilliants explains – here you can get everything you want but …an exit. And then he laughs. Check it out. It’s in the first two three minutes itself

In this part go to around 12 minutes – he again explains that this is a one way street…

And here is the part where our hero gives it back to the villain when he shows the one way street back to the boss. Go to the 8 minute mark.

On that morose note…

It’s not that bad. I think the challenge is to remain level headed and calm when you have tail wind. You realize that it’s the tail wind that causing the speed. There is no real harm in enjoying it too much. You just need to get a reality check from time to time. You keep reminding yourself of the tail wind and somehow try and step aside on the one way street. To keep the parable running – the one way street doesn't allow a U turn but it surely allows you to step on one side and park. Wait quietly and try not to reach anywhere faster than others. Who says it’s important to go to the other side or lead. Stay in there. Knowing the flow of the street is also a valuable experience that you pass on to other travelers.

On the last line – a poem got triggered in my mind. It’s not exactly in context but I like this one. There is a story behind it – but that is for another day

The Bridge Builder

An old man, going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening, cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast, and deep, and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.

The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fear for him;
But he turned, when safe on the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim, near,
"You are wasting strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again will pass this way;
You've crossed the chasm, deep and wide-
Why build you this bridge at the evening tide?"

The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today,
A youth, whose feet must pass this way.

This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building this bridge for him."