your momma always told you to cover your books with brown paper - now you know why

Reading a book is not so easy anymore. I just finished reading ‘The Islamist’ by Ed Hussein. While going to play squash I get off at Matunga station. The only way to get off that train is to stand by the doorway from the first itself. I read till Parel and then it’s impossible to read thanks to the crowd. I just stuff the book into my waist and wait two stops till Matunga.
One day a guy saw the cover and asked me about Ed Hussein. I told him it’s the author of the book. He then asked me my name. Now any one in Mumbai knows that some one asking you your name in a conversation is mostly trying to get your religion. He then asked if I was Hindu. How do I tell him that I am a Pantheist, but whatever, ok. so, carry on… I ask him his name. ‘Mohammad’. He then asks what the book is about – he reads the words ‘The Islamist’. He can read English but I am not sure if he can understand the spoken word. So I try to explain the premise of the book. I explain in Hindi that author is a religious person in England who was an Islamist but then went back to practicing Islam without being an Islamist. Or whatever. It was difficult to explain in Hindi. He then asked me if the name of the prophet is in the book. I am like ‘ya, I think so’. This getting potentially dangerous. He then tells me that, if so, I must not carry the book like that. Oops. I take it out. Hold it respectfully. I tell him thank you. It’s good that you tell me. We do not understand. We are only trying to understand. He gives me advice like – nothing will come off by standing in front of a stone and praying. I say yup, thank you thank you. We learn by listening to others. Reading is not enough. Thank you. Station arrives, I get off. Bye. Whew. That was close.
Ed if you are reading this – what on earth was that?
On the book. I loved it. It began ok, I lost it in the middle, but it ended powerful. Left an impact in my mind. I understood much more, I know much more now. Good, recommended read. Read it, but be careful in the local trains.

pain and the great escape

I never imagined that I would be typing so much in my life. I thought I would be doomed to live my life with my ugly handwriting and would have difficulty progressing in life. Well life sure has changed. I write a lot but I hardly life a pen! Qwerty is so much a part of my life! My thumb is injured. I have no clue how or when but the nail seems to be affected and its quite painful. I can barely hold the pen and write well but it has not affected my work majorly. Just an odd angle in which the thumb presses the space bar.

Yesterday I missed getting caught by the skin of my teeth. These days I have been going to play squash. For that I have to get to Matunga station. That’s not on my normal line and therefore I require tickets. I have bought the tickets before hand and I have to punch in the valid fares before getting on. For some reason I though the amount was 4 bucks and I have been punching the same for a few days. Yesterday the TC caught me and pointed out that the fare is 6 bucks. It 4 bucks to Dadar and Matunga is one station further. Ok. “You have to pay the fine”; oh come on “an honest mistake by and honest citizen” its not as if I am trying to dodge fare. Nothing doing, he marches me to the office to get me to pay the differential. Then suddenly lightning strikes, “what’s the fare from Masjid” Four, he says. Great. Then here is my pass that goes from VT to Vadala. This includes the common journey from VT to Masjid. So the ticket I punched becomes a journey extension ticket from Masjid to Matunga, which is 4 bucks so I am home and dry. Wah wah.. I was impressed by myself. He took a little while to digest it. He didn’t like but, the law is on my side. “be careful next time’ he says. ‘Thank you Bye Bye’, you dickhead I think in my mind.

Adventures of Chakram

While Jispa was getting to draw on the wall I was feeling left out I think. So I started painting the adventures of Chakram. Have a look:-

Jispa really found this one funny:-


The wordings go something like this:-

Chakram:-
I am never afraid
I run fast
I jump high
I am strong
I fight hard

Big bully:- FIGHT

Chakram:- Good that I run fast

The second one has the wordings quite legible in the photograph. This one was insipred by Jispa talking about her school students.

enriched by talking

How does a multi billionaire get to his hotel after exiting Heathrow airport? Well, like all of us he stands in a line and takes a black cab.

I have been intending to write this piece for quite some time now. I have been a big fan of our vice chairman and promoter. I think he is a very level headed sweet guy. The reason I don’t write his name is thanks to the billion guys in office who must be putting blog alerts on his name. But it’s a simple one – he owns the place I work. So here’s the piece.

I am getting off at Heathrow and am standing in the immigration line. He walks up behind. A couple of guys between us. I say hi and walk up to him. We know each other well. We generally start off talking. We both are having a relaxed conversation. Its obviously not a formal ‘in office’ conversation but a relaxed, waiting in the queue conversation. Always better this way. We generally chat up about work. My thing is that I can’t just give out blatant lies. He asks me how am I doing and am I enjoying and so on. I told him, that our company sucks at marketing and its quite a pain to be in marketing while we fight for our understanding and respectability all the time. But the reason I am working with him is that I love the company. I love the way we work. No stress, zero politics, cool happy working environment and a lot of freedom to do what you want to. He asked about my back ground. I told him about the zillion jobs that I have changed. We were talking about how my kids fight out with sales all the time and the frustration that they encounter. That time he said “Jaimit, tane khabhar che. Te ghat ghat nu pani pidhu che ekle”. That felt nice. All that job hopping viewed in a positive light. But it truly is a positive thingie. Not that I advise it too much for others though.
While we were talking I generally asked him where he was staying and how far was it from my hotel. He said “should be around 5 minutes, why?” Now this thing had been on my mind for some time now. I was told that a cab would cost 60 pounds from the airport that 4800 rupees. That’s way too much to pay even if it was company expense. So I told him as much and told him I was hoping for a ride with him and it could save us some money. In hindsight I some times think that I actually spoke about saving 60 pounds to a guy worth 5 billion dollars at last count. Well… he kinda liked the idea and gave me a lift. We wondered if it made sense to get dropped off at his hotel and take a cab, when I figured that it was best (economically) for me to drop him off and take the cab further to my hotel. We hailed a cab accordingly.

It’s around less than an hour to the city centre. It was one of the best conversations I have ever had, we spoke about work, vision, marketing (we both abhor mass media). When he realized that I was in London for the first time, he took on the role of a guide talking me about the various places on the way and the fun that I should have on the weekend that I was there. He asked me if I had enough money, I kind of vaguely said ‘just enough’. I normally carry less exchange but use the debit / credit cards often enough. He removed his wallet and handed me all the pounds he had in there. There were only about 20. Rest he was carrying euros. “rakh, kaam aavse” I did not know what to tell him. what do you do when your uncle gives you cash? Meekly take it. Mid way into another conversation in the cab he suddenly remembers something and opens his briefcase. He removes a cover and there sure enough – more pounds. He gives me 40 more and says “well, that takes care of you cab at least”. I was like ya, but I have some….. “rakh rakh, kaam aavse”. He insisted that I take something from London for my wife since it’s my first time there. There were so many things we spoke about (kids, parents, growing up, politics etc) but the undercurrent was clear – I was having a conversation with my uncle not my boss. An uncle who is not your dad’s age but more like the uncles that are the youngest in the family and therefore much more clued onto your lives. Dam cool. This will stay with me for a long long time.

I always admired the guy, but now I love him. I hope it remains that way. Amen.

Here is a photo I once took of him. I like it. It’s not your standard boring portrait.

Give me logic, take away the rest

You normally don’t pangas with Jispa. She has a memory of an elephant. She remembers stuff from two years back. Well she is growing, and with my patience to keep arguing till logic prevails and memory to back it, she is quite the potent combination that can drive the non logic fighters away.
While I was in Igatpuri with my sister, my sis was talking about my legendary ability to argue with parents. Actually I remember it very clearly. I would only argue if I did not see logic for doing something or being told about something. If I knew I was wrong, my arguments would not be long (nor not even argue), but you can’t give me bullshit explanations and get away with it. Give me logic and I will listen. Also be consistent with logic. The logic can’t keep changing with the tasks and at your whims and fancies. So it was not like I was arguing, it was simply your logic which went awry.
Jispa is like that. Give her proper logical answers. Keep logic consistent and for heaven sake don’t patronize. She has a mind, respect it. That’s what I try to do most of the time. She absorbs much better than we expect her to.
Today morning, she generally asked what the date was. My watch said 3rd, and jasmine also thought it was the 3rd. Jispa disagreed and said 4th. I said ‘no it’s the 3rd’ she stuck to her 4th. Jasmine said “we believe it’s the 3rd, if you want you belive it’s the 4th”. I have over the last 5 years learnt not to take a conversation with Jispa lightly, especially when she sticks to her point of view. So I said “hang on. Let me check my cell phone.” Sure enough. It was the 4th. “Yup Jispa, you are right. It is the 4th”
The other day we got a letter from her school inviting us for school annual function. I was teasing her that the letter said ‘don’t come, Jispa has been a naughty girl’. She came back from school and told me that she asked her teacher about the letter and her teacher said that “ the letter said that Jispa is a star kid so come to see the concert”. Hmmm. She remembers, clarifies and then confronts. Hehehehehe. It was quite funny.
I lose and this is not the going to be the last time.