the pivot

In the movie Rocket Singh don’t miss the receptionist. And don’t miss the power she wields. After a decade in the corporate life I have come to acknowledge the power wielded by the receptionists and the secretary. Typically offices like to hire pretty things as secretaries. Sometimes you get dud heads with little brains and sometimes you get some real smart chicks stuck there. The smart ones slowly control the entire office.
As in the movies the lady is typically a housewife with unfulfilled ambitions. She knows she is capable of much more but circumstances ensured she became a receptionist. I know many such ladies. But they work hard and become power centres in their own right. Very rightly in small offices they double up as secretaries, receptionists, tele-callers and customer care officials. More likely than not they like to dress up and look like barbie dolls. Don’t miss the multi color highlights and the over done make up. Its bang on.
As it happens in the movie, you enter the reception to see the lady constantly busy and ignoring you and then putting you onto the right person. She has an aura around her that says, look but do not come in too close or I will bite. The faces they make to show their frustration while their make remains perfect all through the day. I suspect their compact is always handy. The lipstick is never smudged and the nails… don’t miss the well done manicured nails. I have seen all sorts of colors on their nails.
And while you get shunted to some corner she doesn’t seem to care a bit even if shit happen to you. She is ignorant of you. She sees you as the next young thing trying to hit on her.
But don’t mistake the exterior for the inner core. When I was all alone in Balsara, I only had the receptionist for company. She was the only one who spoke to me, smiled at me, almost empathising with eth situation. It happened at many other places. Whenever you are alone its her who gives you company and understands the shit you are going through. Her vantage position gives her an unparallel power and insight into office politics. She can quietly give you tips and some insights in getting you back on your feet. Never ever mess with the receptionist or the secretary. NEVER.
Another scene, you have the sales manager flirting with the secretary and getting an appointment. First the cold look, then the gradual wear down, smile… bang... work done, then the sales guy leaves and the secretary utters a ‘stupid’ or something to the effect. She knows you are flirting with her just to get the work done. She shows he knows the game then acknowledges that she doesn’t mind the attention. Then again after she helps you she gets back by calling you a name. Oh man… I have seen this so many times in my sales life. I always try and talk properly to the receptionist and say thank you when we get to go in, then again when I leave. Always smiling. It helps the second time around you are there. And in sales, you almost invariably are always there again.
The game changes as you get older. From an upstart winning her over, you are now a senior person giving her rightful importance. But the flirting remains.
One incident comes to mind. We were trying to get speakers for a conference in Geneva. One guy we wanted was the India head of the one of the world’s largest PE players. Due to company interconnectivity issues, he couldn’t say no directly, but he did not want to come. Try as we might we couldn’t get him online to talk to him. My colleague got tired as she could only get the secretary. I took the job on myself. I got through the secretary, introduced myself as the vice president (my design is useful for such things) and used the deep baritone (my natural baritone is useful as well). And then if you speak slowly and purposefully you sound like some real big guy. Then I did the next thing… I did not ask for the boss, I just simply chatted up with her. I explained why her boss is required for the speaker, why her company and mine are so connected, I explained to her the politics involved and why her boss wouldn’t say no if I involve my biggest boss in the game etc. Then I forwarded my mail to her. She spoke to her boss and a confirmation came through. Then my colleague took it on correspondence with her boss. This is not the end. Closer to the event, the boss wrote a mail to my colleague saying he might not coming as he has some conflicting appointments. MAYDAY MAYDAY. The SOS came to me. I quickly got onto the call and spoke to my secretary. We spoke and the she got back and said that the boss was wondering if he could cancel (from NO to wondering – big start). Some quick thinking and I replied… well, he can always say no but we have already mailed the invites and we would then need to go back saying that the speaker has changed. That would be a bad thing nah? (The invites had truly gone). She understood and got back the next day. The boss will come. Yahoo…
The first time I spoke to her boss was in Geneva 10 minutes before the conference.
I got crowned the king of secretaries in my office. The colleague says it was a case of male female dynamics. I disagree… it’s a case of giving people their due importance. We just consider them as people who transfer calls and book tickets. We don’t recognise the implicit power they wield and the potential they have in them. It works in spite of your sex. But too many women don’t give other women their due. It might come easy for the men to flirt with the women, but that is too simplistic an assumption. Giving people importance in their filed no matter how trivial it looks is a thing you must not ignore. Everyone has pride in what they do. In the movie Rocket gives people their importance. He calls the peon by his full name, which is a big thing. He gets you tea, but he gets it to you fast and does not spit in it. Appreciate that. but peons is another blog by itself.
Coming to the secretary/ receptions it she knows exactly what is going on in the office and also can help you with the loopholes. The movie is right. Some of that stuff is not so far fetched as it might seem. If the boss hates you are screwed but she can help you, but if she hates you, you are screwed and you have no recourse. It was nice knowing you.
In the movies Gauhar Khan as the recpetionist has done a better job than I suspect she knows. And I suspect no critic will give her due credit for this. It was perfectly cast with the perfect look. Sure there are a million receptionist that don’t look anywhere near her, but as far as typecasts goes, she was awesome. Try as I might I couldn’t get one still of her in the movie. If her publicist is reading this – can you please send me a pic of her from the movie? Preferably a pic with her on her office table, talking on the phone?
In the movies they also show the receptionist threatening the boss that she will set the credit card guy on him… but it’s true that they really help you duck calls, lie for you, get good meeting rooms for you, set up protectors and generally help you in many ways you can’t even begin to imagine.
If you are visiting another office a sweet receptionist can also ensure a note gets sent or a reminder call is made if you are waiting too long for your meeting. They can get the senior most guy to meet you in good time.
In many ways willy nilly, they are the pivot around which the entire office revolves. Don’t get the pivot on your wrong side.