Now what kind of guy would want to see a movie, in which the hero can fly during fights (nearly), beat baddies without getting a scratch, mouth dialogues before and after, dance in the middle of the fight routine as the cell phone in the baddie’s pocket rings. Smashes the same baddies and then asks him to forward the ring tone, is confused if he is a tough guy or a real softie. He is a self proclaimed Robin Hood but you don’t really see him give away the loot to the needy. And of course he is so in love with a dialogue that he repeats it twice in the movie. One to the baddie and one to you for effect. It goes something like ‘after I am done with you, you will have so many holes in your body that you will get confused from where to breathe and from where to let out gas’. He is the same guy who tries to get his girl by calling her to the police station (incidentally, he is a cop) by detaining her father on cooked up charges and announces a reward for someone who makes her smile. The dad is also in the race for eth reward. The dad finally kisses the groom to be and voila – they are in love. No… not the dad and the groom to be, the groom to be and the girl in question.
In extreme anger toward the climax the hero’s shirt tears out as his muscles bulge in anger and he beats the baddie shirtless. And yes, before I forget, there is also a social message in the film. For all those who thought that diesel fumes kill, (spoiler alert – but hell it doesn’t really matter as you have suspended belief itself) the hero in true greenpeace style kills the villain by getting him to choke on diesel fumes. Warning – tractor smoking is injurious to health. And lest you think that the idea was serendipitous, you are given a clear rationale for the same. The movie also a plot line, yes exactly one line. More like one long line with no commas or full stops or any other punctuation save for the exclamation marks which come through after every dialogue or incredulous scene. And those too come in pairs or triplets. The whole movie plays to the gallery much like a under age cricketer who plays a cover drive and stays in the position for a second longer, waiting for the shutter bugs to capture his poise. Wah! Clap clap. The mandatory item number also has lyrics that the item girl, who is incidentally one of the producers, mouths as – I will be a zandu balm for you. I think her name on the producers list was a clear disclaimer for the movie.
Oh what kind of guy would want to watch that kind of film? Which by the reviews and the people around the theatre suggest as the next big thing in Hindi movie cinema. Oh the movie – Dabangg. More like the Da Bang, alluding to the big noise from one of the holes the hero blew in you. The confusing holes? Remember his dialogue… ok ok.. that was a sad joke.
But as I had asked earlier – what kind of guy would see that film? Well the same guy who would write this post in the morning eating yesterday’s over ordered take out pizza, reheated in the micro wave. The thus marinated pizza tastes just like the movie.. real crap for you but you seem to be enjoying it.
OK. I ADMIT. I ENJOYED THE FILM. THERE. YOU SATISFIED NOW. It was horrible cinema, but it was funny. I couldn’t believe it. This is the stuff that people love to watch. I was smirking in my elitist attitude that I am watching what people like to watch. I am actually laughing not at the dialogue but at the people who like this dialogue and find it great. Am I kidding myself? Probably deep down I actually like the movie. I might be enjoying all the sets (ostensibly Indian hinterland), the drama, the fight sequences, the dialogues, the revenge, and the brothers, whatever. Probably I secretly wanted a Salman Khan hairstyle a la Tere Naam. Possibly.
In extreme anger toward the climax the hero’s shirt tears out as his muscles bulge in anger and he beats the baddie shirtless. And yes, before I forget, there is also a social message in the film. For all those who thought that diesel fumes kill, (spoiler alert – but hell it doesn’t really matter as you have suspended belief itself) the hero in true greenpeace style kills the villain by getting him to choke on diesel fumes. Warning – tractor smoking is injurious to health. And lest you think that the idea was serendipitous, you are given a clear rationale for the same. The movie also a plot line, yes exactly one line. More like one long line with no commas or full stops or any other punctuation save for the exclamation marks which come through after every dialogue or incredulous scene. And those too come in pairs or triplets. The whole movie plays to the gallery much like a under age cricketer who plays a cover drive and stays in the position for a second longer, waiting for the shutter bugs to capture his poise. Wah! Clap clap. The mandatory item number also has lyrics that the item girl, who is incidentally one of the producers, mouths as – I will be a zandu balm for you. I think her name on the producers list was a clear disclaimer for the movie.
Oh what kind of guy would want to watch that kind of film? Which by the reviews and the people around the theatre suggest as the next big thing in Hindi movie cinema. Oh the movie – Dabangg. More like the Da Bang, alluding to the big noise from one of the holes the hero blew in you. The confusing holes? Remember his dialogue… ok ok.. that was a sad joke.
But as I had asked earlier – what kind of guy would see that film? Well the same guy who would write this post in the morning eating yesterday’s over ordered take out pizza, reheated in the micro wave. The thus marinated pizza tastes just like the movie.. real crap for you but you seem to be enjoying it.
OK. I ADMIT. I ENJOYED THE FILM. THERE. YOU SATISFIED NOW. It was horrible cinema, but it was funny. I couldn’t believe it. This is the stuff that people love to watch. I was smirking in my elitist attitude that I am watching what people like to watch. I am actually laughing not at the dialogue but at the people who like this dialogue and find it great. Am I kidding myself? Probably deep down I actually like the movie. I might be enjoying all the sets (ostensibly Indian hinterland), the drama, the fight sequences, the dialogues, the revenge, and the brothers, whatever. Probably I secretly wanted a Salman Khan hairstyle a la Tere Naam. Possibly.
But one thing is for sure, for the screen character to be memorable the reel life would need to meet the real life persona. This gyan is from a book I once read called – the Making of a superstar – Amitabh Bachhan. It is quite an interesting read. One of the points is that your off screen image must be in sync with your on screen image. Salman seems to have got it right. Brain dead, beef image who does a lot of shit and gets into a lot of trouble but you love him… not because he is so handsome and has a beef chunk body; that is incidental, but it really because his heart is of gold. Like the movie as well, you know he is generous.. Why... not because he is actively doing anything about it, but just because he says so. And if you do not believe it, I will bash your skull in.
But the movie is a hit. It is a perfect eid release which ties in with his biggest and loyal fan base. But the hall had people from all walks of life, but it did seem to have a stronger male group crowd coming in. The other movies seem to have gotten cold feet with no one taking on the movie giving it a free run.
But I am not surprised. If news channels we have look like general entertainment channels, then the entertainment channels will have to look even more “enterainmenty”. How low can you go?
No actually you can go lower. The Times of India gave it four stars. The DNA also has some similar lofty praise. And unabashedly claims that you shouldn’t ask fro story or anything else. Ya. Who ever said that a free press is a conscience of democracy? Or any other lofty goal.
I like what Lee Kwan Yew said of free press. He believed that the free press was purely at the mercy of the one rich man who owned it. It was never free and will never be. I did not realise it then, but the more I think about it....
