Corporates - the MSG generation

One more offsite to go to today. Gawd. Duuno what real strategy emerges form offsites. Its good to meet all the guys from all the branches and figure out what happening and what we as marketing can do next. Its ok, not bad but its definitely not a vacation that my wife believes it to be. Surely not. I rather be cuddles up in my bed drinking coffee. Which comes to the next point. Why can’t I have an expresso machine at home? The big bloody industrial one. That should be cool for making some lovely coffee. Hmmmm. Nice thoughts to have early morning. That is surely making me want to order some really cold coffee. Will have to call barista. Our office has some really really bad coffee. Completely hopeless. The other day at the meet, I was the last one in the conference room and I got the last cup of whatever he was serving. One sip of the god dam thing and I had no clue what I was drinking. I was not sure of that was tea or coffee. These are all form the automatic vending machine, so they no aroma, no taste. I can’t believe why companies cant invest in decent coffee machines. How much difference to the bottom line will it make. I don’t think the employees will mind too much even paying a bit for it. anything is better than vending machine coffee / tea. In fact the machine also serves ugly tomato soup. That also will fail blind taste tests on what the ingredients will be. UUUGGHHHH. The only thing I remember being ok was the Horlicks machine at Star. That’s still somewhere near ok. But I guess in corporates, you just go with the flow. Do anything not to make the life more complicated than what it already is or isn’t. Bad coffee, bad food, bad habits bad everything. This is the MSG generation. Just add MSG to whatever you are cooking and all it does is tickles the tastebud so you feel what you are eating is tasty. Forget the fact that it will give you nightmares at night. This is the MSG generation. Eat now, use bad shit to make it just taste good for the moment, get a nightmare later, but sleep right through it. That’s exactly what a corporate life is about.

Connecting

It’s a constant challenge to connect to as many constituents around you. Of course it’s a trade off most of the time. If you connect to the good helpful guys you will not connect to the ass holes. Also if you don’t connect to the smokers its not that you will connect to the non smokers. Faltu philosophy aside, its fun connecting to a part of the younger crowd. I feel that right now I might be more connected than most my age. I can get my way around them and get them to see my point as well understand theirs. I guess it’s easier that I am 31. But I always keep wondering, how would it be when I get older. Will I connect as well, will I completely lose track, will I be so passé. Dunno. Jispa will have to decide that I guess. I sure Jispa would find it most eerie if can connect with her crowd well enough to second guess her thoughts. Will that intrude her privacy in some tangential sort of way? I dunno. Some young friends have pointed that out to me. They sometimes find it eerie for me to second guess their emotions. But so far its more good than queer. Don’t want to scare her when she is elder. Also what must come along with this is the ability to shut up and keep the thoughts to one self. Now that’s tough : ) so having said that there are so many in the work space and around that I just cant connect to. It’s almost self righteous in many ways but still work space is a brilliant example of how many contradicting forces act upon each other and hold the place together. Many roles are required of the ecosystem. If the people are too righteous, business loses a part of its meaning. On the other hand the place also requires some saints and evangelists. It’s like one of the philosophies I read in the Circle of innovation by tom peters. The brilliance is that he writes a lot of common sense but always seems so in hindsight. He talks of businesses needing the Hindu trimurti philosophy of the Creator – Brahma, Preserver – Vishnu and Destroyer – Shiva. It’s important to have all three in the ecosystem for it to thrive and move fast on. It’s also been my philosophy at all times to accept nothing as dogma. Everything can be questioned. Any belief can be undone. Sometimes this does lead to stress within the group I lead but over period of time it is important to be fluid yet a powerful force. (So much like the life giving Ganga, which ambles along accepting many rivers into it, giving life where it goes, cooling the lands, yet getting rough in parts and finally carrying all the sins into the vast sea. It is truly a philosophy to emulate). Which is why the title Opposites Reconcile. It is such an important and simple part of understanding. That’s also why I love the eastern Yin and Yang symbol. How one force is empty without the other, how opposites forces need to balance out... How all can be contained within one being. I can only begin to understand what its complete symbology means but hope to better my understanding every day. Only thing is that while it talks of two opposite forces, it would interesting to see a symbol of many forces (not necessarily opposite in nature) balancing out in harmony and being important contributors of the whole. Which without even one, the whole is empty and not self sustaining. WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA.. jyada tha who! Too much heady stuff for one morning from me…..

bacha party

It always feels nice to teach young kids. And the younger they are the better is the teaching experience. I have tried the under grad BMS kids as well as the post grad kids. Without the doubt the under grads are more receptive and more willing to learn. Most of the post grads are selfish, pain, know alls and egoistic. I guess the fact that they have got into a B school, means that they have suddenly become smarter, well read and so kewl. What more could be wrong? I have spoken in the past about intellectual arrogance that comes from reading but this is intellectual arrogance that comes from not reading. One fresh grad from the ‘best’ B school was having a strong point of view. While making him understand I was trying to quote a study by a seminal book /author. His response was to dismissively say that he does read any ‘such’ books. Toh bloody hell – MBA mein seekha kya? Kiya kya? And then have a bloody hell of an attitude and an even greater strength of opinion. And then show no respect or wither the reader or the author…. I don’t say that the book is everything. Its after all an opinion, but it is a validated opinion. It is something that someone has written form experience. It is SOMETHING! Aree mere bhai – dismiss the opinion of some book, only if you have read another, or have experience to the contrary or some evidence – not plain ass opinion.
Is liye I always want to teach younger kids. There is a lot of love that give you. They take a lot of liberties with you but that’s only once they accept you. And once you are a part of them then who the fcuk cares how you are treated by your types. I love them!
The other one thing I am accused of is being surrounded by pretty young things. Now its obviously my fault that my students are PYT’s. I treat males and female students alike. Some of my closest students would be boys and girls – equally. Sunny and other students will testify but the PYT’s are noticed by the boys and the cute guys are noticed by the gals. Yes you bozo guys – some chicks do notice you but they are just a little shy to talk about it. So as you realize it’s Even Stevens. The gals in any case these days are quick to notice a lech professor. A bastard of a prof will not get any acceptance by the girls. I realize that as many times they talk to me about their despo profs. I feel nice just not be in the same bracket.
Also the relationship that I share with the guys will be so different form the girl students. The topics of conversation are so different. The wavelengths are different and yet at the same time you can draw a common line on the basics of their issues. Opposites Do Reconcile.

jispa neveu and cricket psyche

There is always stress associated with change due to the unknown and there is the comfort of the known. Change happens only when the stress of the known is greater than the potential unknown.

This cryptic note is meant as an interesting description of human behavior, but more so it is meant to be a message for Jispa. I want her to read this and understand some of the decisions that we are taking. It shouldn’t be too tough to decipher if she figures the dates and connects the dots. And yes I don’t think she will require the assistance of Robert Langdon to solve this one!

The matches on Saturday were outstanding. The matches take a physical toll on the players and probably helping bringing the payers together. I guess with reference to my earlier blog, this might be interesting training and team building ground. Only problem is to give all an opportunity to play and perform beyond potential. It is also interesting observation to know a bit more about the players. A little more into their psyche, a little more about their true behavior, a little more about their spirit, willingness and ability to give more. Hmmmm, whoever said cricket is a boring game!!!!

my very own jogo bonito

Big tournament tomorrow. 8 a side cricket with finals under lights at police gymkhana. Should be real fun. I hope. I also hope to whack a few balls…Its funny how if I see my self, I really started playing cricket after college. I really developed whatever cricketing skills very late. I guess that’s why I might not be technically very correct but the sheer dint of perseverance helps me hang on to the game. Also at 31 the guys get all older and unfit and I try to at least have some semblance of fitness. If nothing at least I try not to have too much excess weight on. That it self is a 50 point advantage to the others.
I have learnt a lot form my cricket guru – Arun Solanki; and a lot about captainship from him. He is the boss I bow down to. Thanks to him I am playing whatever little I can. Thanks to him I am able to use brain work to further the game and many times lead team to victory. Every match, every season I think about him. Many times I try and visualize what he would have done in the situation and then try to take calls. Thank you Arun. There is a large part of me that I owe to you.
Taking Jispa to the matches is also quite nice. She equally happy if I win or lose. She just wants me back from the field. She does not like me going to play all alone.
Cricket has been more than a sport to me. It’s a game that I find mentally simulating. Today I am thinking about the game and getting butterflies in the stomach. Should I bat up or down. Should I field at covers or at midwicket. The games are lost often before they start. Lets see. I am thinking of some good motivation tools to use tomorrow. Hope they turn out right. Basic pride building, goal setting for each and every one and a love for playing! I really don’t care if we win or lose. My biggest endeavor is always to ensure we play more than capacity. Then I don’t care what happens. Capacities differ, the challenge is always to play above it!

Mohhabat kar le kar le re

Jispa is crazy. I normally wake her up and get her ready for school as her mommy cooks. These days her vacations allow me the luxury of getting ready at leisure while she gets the luxury of sleeping. Jispa has the knack of doing the loveliest of kiddie things. Suddenly she insisted that I wake her up before i leave for office. The first day I just ignored her request, only to get a scolding from her when i got back home. Man, does she remember!!!! So now while her vacations are on i have to wish her good morning before I leave for work. DAM COOL!!!! My sis often says kids are cute for a reason, else we would just not have. They require so much time and attention and care, that if they were not so cute, we would probably give them up for adoption J
I am just waiting for her to become a teenager. Then I want to see her smiling on being woken up at 7.30 am. Hehehehe.

I got a call from Saxena. I am back to teaching.. wopppiiieeeee. More kids to bore, shout, fight and love. Let see what I can do now. I have definitely grown from the last time I taught, so lets me see if I improve!

My blog of two days back led to me speaking to an angel. More on that in the blogs to come. Hopefully I can get her to part her photo for all to see.

My house is now getting closer to completion… whewwww. Mohhabat kar le kar le re, mohhobat kar le re… kisi ka dil apna le re… mohhabat kar le re… that was just me wanting to sing a happy song. So sing along with me…. Mohhabat kar le kar le re, mohhobat kar le re… kisi ka dil apna le re… mohhabat kar le re……

whack the shit out of them

Father daughter relationships are very funny I guess. I wouldn’t know the difference in father son relationships as I have only one daughter, BUT I know the daughter relationship is funny and queer. I positively hate the fuss over matching clips and sandals. I am more interested in playing boxing with her and teaching her to fight on the bed. Man it’s so cool when Jispa wants to hit with all her force. I keep telling her it didn’t hurt and she keeps trying to box me. But man, she packs a mean punch. I was teaching the other day how to give a box with her knuckles. BIG MISTAKE! I am the only punching bag she has. The first punch was straight to my jaw. I had to then teach her not to use it. And the rules for wrestling are very simple… she can whack me as much as she wants but I am supposed to only hit her softly once. I can’t hit her in rapid succession. That would be end of game. I guess she doesn’t not realize the concept of fair play! J but then that’s what pop’s are for… whack the shit out of them….go on Jispa. I also hope that she uses these skills with guys getting fresh with her. Go on Jispa… whack the shit out of them…

bloggers block

shit... i cant write anything. complete block. This happens every month end. Every month end post our department review i just go blank. i think it takes a lot of mental and emotional stamina. it just sucks the energy from me and i am left with a blank mind. Probably a good time to do Yoga - Blank mind.... see the connection!!
i also realised many people keep google alerts on various companies including the one i am working for. This is intersting. one could actually use the blog to crib about a company and the right guys in that company could possibly read your issue and respond... hmmm ... could be a great customer complaint redressal mechanism.

surrently i am pissed with hypercity. They have to deliver the bed i had asked for, but they have no clue on the availability and status. really really lost people. the monies have been paid in full and deliveries promised but not kept up. I even name dropped Andrew Levermore (their CEO), hopefully that will energise them.
What i will find most suprising is that if no one responds from Hypercity on reading this blog. And if they dont have google alerts then I think I will find out about their PR agency and ensure I never ever hire them and spread bad press about them.
lets see..... is customer service active in India?

elite - cause of teams

While I was teaching the BMS guys I stumbled on something very interesting. On a lark I started the elite class. Basically just took a bunch of kids (completely optional) and called them on Sunday morning at 7. We then ran for some time. Did some elementary yoga, did a lot of games, gave them some real ragda (basically tough excersie / punishments) like frog jump, duck walk, monkey crawl etc. All this followed by a wholesome discussion on something or the other. God alone knows why they came. That too on a Sunday morning. Their parents were wondering what happened to them. One kid’s dad insisted on dropping her off, as he was sure she would be the only kid present there on a Sunday morning. I think he was surprised to the crowd. Hahaha. Take that daddies, who thought kids won’t get up on Sunday mornings, for something completely optional and not related to studies and more so… had lots of physical exercise and horror of horrors – we even had book reading. I guess the real reason kids came was – they had fun. I don’t think they cared enough to bother if they were learning or not, they just wanted to have fun.
And for some reason the kids who attended it somehow got a bit closer to me. They keep talking a lot about elite and how they miss it a lot. well I miss it too… I dunno why it stopped, but obviously time constraints from me were top of the list.
That bit taught me a lot about kids. There ability to laugh through shit, their ability to push themselves when needed, their ability to stick out from the ordinary. I tried building a team there, who shared some “PRIDE” in coming in on Sunday mornings and doing what no body else was doing. I fell somewhere, they were proud of what they doing, I don’t think they knew it but, it stayed on in their head for a long time to come.
Which brings me to corporate stuff. We have these team building offsites. A complete waste of effort and energy if you ask me. It’s a good picnic and that’s that. I have a belief that if you want teams to come closer they need to do much more stuff together. When you are physically tired, your true mettle will come out. It’s not easy to hide emotions when you are exhausted, and there is a destination to go to. Try being nice to colleagues when you are freezing or suffering from leg sores. Trekking for atleast 3 – 4 days through not so benign conditions. That’s one offsite I want to see. Well knits teams will separate from the loosely held ones. It’s the same in cricket. Tough matches show true team mettle and leadership. You need to go through something that should leave you proud of your experience else you WILL not get much from it. Definitely not team building.

one more case of opposites reconciling

spot the difference :)

humble arrogance

Humble enough to admit arrogance.
Ever since I started reading, and reading like crazy, I have developed an arrogance that is difficult to control. It becomes difficult to enter into conversations and arguments which are so shallow. I have suddenly become the quiet guy in the animated conversation, as I refuse to give ‘expert opinions’ unless I have the benefit of some knowledge on the subject through readings or experience. Also I really don’t bother winning arguments (big change from 5 years back) as one realizes that most of the time the other guy is not anywhere near well read or knowledgeable on the subject. There is no point arguing a strong opinion. I relish talking to a subject matter expert. Reading has made me realize the value of someone’s experience and study. So its either I am completely absorbing what the other guy is saying or just turning off. I mean – whats the point of talking on the basis of newspapers / TV channels. I recommend to anyone that one should keep newspaper / magazine reading to a minimum and completely shut off TV channels, specially the news channels. The quality of reporting is going further and further down. Its better not to have an opinion basis the news. And any such conjecture developed in the brain must be kept there. The more I read the more quiet I get….. I dunno…are opposites reconciling again? Conversations that stimulate me are normally slow, less animated and where there is reception on either side. How many of us can actually listen. Its an art that is very difficult to master. I too struggle a lot on this. One has to be free from thoughts while assimilating and then be able to quicly put it all together, run the argument in your head a couple of times and then slowly blurt it. but given todays speed, we might just as well bolt the stables after the horses have fled… or the better option – shut up.

Yesterday I saw Omkara. Learnings… its best not to let someone lead your opinion on some one else. You will have to judge for yourself on someone. That guy might be a dickhead to the world but if he is good with you then that’s that. Allways be on guard, form opinions but remember – always temper down the extremes that you hear from others. It’s something I have tried in office many times. Reasonable success. And it’s a good thing I saw the movie on DVD. I would not have understood anything in the theatre – never knew English subtitles would be such a great idea for a hindi film.

networks and omkara

With 8 years of work ex, I have changed some 8 jobs… I can hardly preach on stability. The skew is even more if you consider 5 years in Kotak itself (in two stints). But one positive fall out of the same is the bloody network. The sheer number of people you know and meet over different jobs is enormous. And if add the 500 odd students I have taught over the few years, the network is BIIIIGGGG. Positive side – go to any mall and you meet someone you know, negative – impossible to cheat on wife!!!
In any case, I always believe it these networks that count in the long run. The value of network increases in geometric progression to the number of people in it. And this network will really be of any value if you are truly genuine and helpful to others in it. [nishkaam karma anyone!!!] People are not dumb. They see thru shitty people, they avoid liars and they hate schmoozers. If they don’t like you, they avoid you when they see you. Evil shit is soon alone evil shit.
So even if you cant do too much good try not to do any harm. Some people will like you some wont, but atleast you wont have too many people hating your guts. Operative words – too many. There will always be some dickheads, jealous shit and insecure chappies who will not like you just becoz you are either too nice or little successful or friendly or just whatever. Ignore those bastards, they don’t count for shit in your life.
May the network be with you.

I have found another use of the team jackets in office. They came in handy today when someone else wore the same shirt as me today. Bach gaya – the jacket was on whole day.

Also with the current look, I have been getting remarks like abhishek bachhan wannabe, shryas talpade, (worst one) himesh reshamiya, mangal pandey (no real connection), or the one I like – Omkara (saif ali). You judge.. photo is attached…. and yes - the sleepy look is for the intense look!!!!!

teaching blues and mumbai taxis

my kid was not happy to see me... she's staying over at her nani's place and i went in the morning to drop off some of her clothes. she thought I had come to collect her. the first thing she did was make a face and then told me to come post the vacations!! cool... and all this while i thought she liked me :) hahaha... good fun thing this 'parenting' bit is. they probably grow to let me know that i did a bad jobon them. hmmm, thats why i like to keep it simple and loving as opposed to complex startegies... wehaven't yet got her to taste any aerated drinks, simply by not having it as well. if we dont drink, she does not want to have it as well. its difficult teaching, while you go ahead and flout all rules.
Also i went and bought some hand puppets. it was good fun playing with them. the tough part is trying not to make every quality time with your child an intense teaching session. i dont believe you need to teach all the time, but i sure believe you need to learn all the time. i guess we just need to have a ball with the time we have and leave the rest to the kid's ability. i use that while teaching college as well. Not 100% of the time should be spent teaching. that will completely bore the pants of the kids. I guess even 30% quality time with simple clean concepts would be enough. HAVE FUN - if you learn in the process, cool.

one visitor from london office was wondering how the mumbai taxis run with the fuel meters always on empty! and that too all the taxis??? I had to explain that most of them run on CNG/LPG and their indicators are the small grren dots next to the steering on the left. Whew, he was glad to know that the taxis will have enough fuel for getting him to the airport!

sweet spot

One of the little things I really like is sleeping on the sand at Chowpatty. (The marine drive one). I think that’s one of the lost experiences in the city. As I often like to say - there is no better solitude than in a crowd. (opposites reconciling again) Being a part of a teeming mass but yet all alone gives a funny feeling. Sitting on the beach and looking at all the neon signs, hearing the distant din of traffic and getting a Talia massage done is a complete stress buster. That too for a max of 20 bucks within 10 minutes of my Nariman Point office.

For the uninitiated ‘talia’ massage is a basically a foot massage which is done using a small copper vessel, which he rhythmically presses against the sole of your feet. It’s a bit ticklish to start with but is outstanding for relieving feet stress. He will then show you the black residue on the vessel which he claims is your heat which has released during the massage.

I would love to get this done more often but alas….I need to go more often. In fact many times Jasmine and me take Jispa to Chowpatty, spread out the bed sheet and open the hamper for a picnic. 6 pm is the best time to reach there. Jispa can run about with a football or some other game and since it’s a clean beach, we are not so worried about her. We once took our cousin Arjun for a lovely evening and how we buried him in the sand and made him look like a mermaid. He and Jispa completely freaked out and we did as well. It’s fun to dig and play in the sand.

Its amazing, when I think about it, how some of the best spots are bang in the middle of the places you want to run from. There are many such small places in mumbai where I often run to, and I hope to write about them in time to come. If you guys know of any such sweet spots, do write in.

diwali musings

Greeting cards are good... only problem is that i hating disposing them off. So i did the next best thing. i turned them into prayer flags a la tibetians. hopefully this way the winds (AC air) will carry the wishes across the office. Recyled office air has some use i guess....i assume some day the collection will grow large and just fall off the ventilation. i hope it take sthe ventilation with it. The office needs some excitement...

I bought for myself (under the pretext of Jispa (daughter)) some really fun crackers. once she said she wanted really big fountains, i went and bought tne biggest they had. had fun bursting them. All the building kids going - wow - dam cool - and other such stuff. Allways fun to be a kid with a lot of money!!!! economic might when combined with kiddie aspirations are a potent combination. God save me from myself. Just for the record jispa cried when i burst them. she did not enjoy it, I DID!. she enjoyed the rockets though. anything that goes 20 mtrs up and then makes a noise is welcome. will have to keep that in mind the next year!

meanwhile doing up my new home is fun. cold desicion meets warm emotion. Opposites are reconciling!!!!!! result a rather haph hazard looking home... but warm nevertheless - and NO, Its not warm due to not have having AC in the living room.

2nd hand santa claus

the luxury of the designation puts me on the mailing list of a lot of diwlai chocolates. when i started my career i would allways look at the big boys getting a bulf of the chocolates and gifts, and they used to take the truckloads of them home. Now in their shoes i have decided never to take anything gifted to me in office home. NO matter what. this gets me two things - 1 - moral high ground - 2 - i distribute it all to in office, so that everyone down the line as well gets to have the lovely sweets / chocolates. I feel very light when i give it all away. Its so much fun to see all the guys devoring it in office. They have nick named me Santa claus. I call it the 2nd hand Santa.
i am not usre if most people realise that the gifts are not given to the person, but to the chair. Its the CHAIR stupid.

jispa diaries and marketing fart

i just was wondering in the morning, that over a period of time, i will be writing my entire philosophy and belief in this blog... cool. and in case my kid (jispa) wants to know what i was and what i thought, all she needs to do is to log on! and she would be able to get a sense of what her dad really is. i wish i had that for my dad. this is some real motivation to write a lot here , a lot about my learnings, beliefs, thoughts. i hope they will be usefull to those who read and hope it will spark debate somewhere somehow.
Yesterday i learnt an importnat lesson. rather relearnt it. i was in a dipstick interview where he trashed the sample copy of the brochureware that we were showing it. IT reinforced my belief that financial service marketing is all about letting the product do the talking. as long as we can give enough airtime to adequately explain - showcase the product, the strength of the product will pull it through. if the product has no strength then it is not supposed to do well in any case. it has no busines being there. In that case just get teh best sales guy money can buy and incentivise him like hell..... sometimes i wonder if i will be the man who will write the obituary on financial service marketing as we know it.

'amazingly companionable' and the top learnings

hahahahha... i got that on a testimonial on orkut."amazingly companionable" was dam innovative. i like to thank dipti for this one!!! THNAKS KID! any case that was a great start to the morning. Speaking of mornings, they tend to get heavy with me reading in the trains. i dont know if that is necessarily good, but it does give me a lot to think about. a good 30 minutes to start the day with. I am reading - 'Pride matters more than money' - Jon Katzenbach. cool book. like most, they reinforce the obvious, but then thats the thing. we need to reinforce the obvious else we get tangled on trying to understand the mystic. whatever that means.... like the god 'dharen chaddha' explaind to me that all great men see things complex things as simple. strategy is simplicity. One lens to distill all the complexity into simple problems with simple solutions. Thank you god. that is one of the best lessons i have learnt in my life.

pride matters more than money

i firmly believe in this. thats if you want a performing team or a bunch of mercenaries. in the long run this is what counts! i got my team jackets just for this! let there be pride!
there are things money can buy and for every thing else... there is pride.

i am growing a beard and no one really knows why. I am also not sure even if i know why. in any case.... i need to start teaching soon. Else i will lose an important part of myself. NEED to start teaching very very soon. need to cal saxena and get some assignment NOW>>>>