service and smile

I like, no no lets rephrase that, I love… that’s better… I love low points in life. That is what defines my high points. Whenever I have felt low is when I fight back to get my high. Till about a minute back I was low. Shit in office, shit everywhere. That has helped me define my high. I am suddenly on an adrenaline rush. I am giving shit back. And how! I could not have felt better. In the words of the Mask – Somebody….stop me.

I am just back from a trip to Geneva, Brussels, Antwerp and London. All official. Yaya… I am the lucky guy. One thing I figures. British Airways (BA) is a piece of shit. The brits have not learnt anything about service. They cant service to save their asses. I have always believed that good advertising will come to naught if you don’t follow through on the service. This is a classic case study. BA will have all the classic ads that have service written all over it. They believe in service they say. They will have a chick air hostess in a namaste. The stupid agency wont even get the bow right. The namaste in India is not like a western ‘hi, how are you doing?’ it’s a more submissive gesture (full of reverence) for Indian. Complete dickhead of a job and some amazing dickhead of follow through. For breakfast as we were reaching London, they served us milk and muesli. And I liked it and dared to ask for more. MORE?? Now I know what Oliver Twist felt like. They said they don’t have more. What the hell? They don’t have more food for someone traveling in Business Class. God knows what happens in Economy. Do they just stand up and start laughing. “hey somebody look at this guy. He wants MORE. Hahahahah.” On the way back I wanted to go to the pee pee. The seat belt sign just came on as I stood up. The steward told me to get back to my seat. Not do politely of course, but hell he is a BA staff. He is obviously near God. Then in about 10 seconds he tells me that if I want to go to the bath room I got one minute. That’s about the time he is going to take. So I better hurry up and get it done with. OK sir! Thanks a lot. Wow….that sure saved from pissing in their Business class water bottle. What a bloody piss off. I am not traveling BA again ever. I would not advise anyone either. The option – the best service I have seen is Jet Airways. Good old humble service Jet. They are way above every one. Not that BA is too difficult to top. I have asked for more in domestic flights in economy and have always got more in return. Ask for one small after mint and you always get two. Aks for a bottle of water, you will get two. That’s the way dude. Service is king! Someday the rest of us mortals will get it as well. I also have been in many hotels, no one even comes close to the Taj hotels. We do a lot of stay and banqueting. The Taj is head over heels compared to anyone else. Well its interesting that home grown Indian brands will teach eth world what service is like. Mr. Goyal, I don’t care what anyone says. I believe in you.

Coming to something else. People in office around the world are generally short on humor. I put an out of office mail that I thought was very average and not really funny. But I got a lot of kudos for it. I got people forwarding the out of office mail to others, I got people just mailing to check the response, and of course a few conversations begin with the topic. Here it is. You judge you decide. But one thing it has given me for sure, and that’s some more confidence to get whackier! Somebody Stop me.

(I have masked the phone numbers. This is the internet after all)

Hi,

Since you have got an out of office reply – well, I AM actually out of office. Cool nah?
I will be back on the 27th of September 07.

Since this is a tour on official duty you may contact me on my official cell. But before you do so, kindly keep in mind the following pointers:-

Think of the obscene roaming rates before you try my cell.
If you still want try and contact me please buy some telecommunication stocks before you call. Somebody must benefit in the bargain I guess.
Before calling minus four to five hours from Indian time and think a bit if you really want to wake me up for I can return the favor five hours past your bed time.
Try calling Ritu (XXXXXXXXX) for international work, Venkat (981XXXXXXX) for Wealth Management work and Manish (981XXXXXXX) for all the other group work.
And if everything else fails, have faith… for this too shall pass.

Have fun while I am hard at work

Jaimit