Tough shit

In around Jan I twisted my knee to end my best ever cricket season. I was averaging 30 plus runs in every match. This was all due to a simple lesson that I overhead one coach at Shivaji Park give out to his wards. The most important one was to keep your hands close to your body while playing the shots. These 30/40 runs also could have gone to become higher scores if not for the fact that I used to run myself out so that others get batting. In all my cricketing outings, playing twenty twenty for the corporate team, I haven’t ever hit a fifty. I came close, tantalizing close to 50 once, around four five years ago. This season was the season to hit 50. Normally my job as a youngster was to hit and clear the ropes or as an elder to eschew all risk and ensure the team doesn’t lose all the wickets. Over the last two years I built the B team into a decent formidable team that had decent batsman and decent bowlers. So my role changed to keep one end up for around 7 to 10 overs while keeping the runs flowing and then attack the bowling from 10 to 15 overs. With the technical flaw getting ironed out, I started to score runs and keep my wicket guarded. The team was also doing very well and we were building a strong nucleus in the side. So I was pretty frustrated when this Jan I twisted my knee and was out of the action. The team then went on to lose two semifinals and generally morale was down. Yesterday I decided I was fit enough to play. I had been keeping my workout going in the intervening days. Swimming was on. I even started cycling in the gym and I was doing 10 kms in 30 min with a 5 resistance. So I knew my stamina and speed wouldn’t be an issue but I was very worried about being in touch. Also the issue of captainship. Men. We love to play politics and we hate giving up power. We play our game and we take every chance to play a little game. Even the game of cricket where there is probably nothing at stake, we will play our political game. In my absence, coteries had formed. The captain had formed his own favorite gang. I realized why the B team had lost its knockout matches. We lost our core and we lost it so bloody fast. I had drilled it into the team that we play, not to win but to enjoy the game. We play to have fun, and to give everyone a chance. Slowly in my absence the team forgot about this. The captain would over bowl himself and his coterie, possibly in his desire to win. The B team doesn’t have talent. They have potential. Untapped and waiting to be let lose. You will never know on which day, which player will perform. The key was to ensure enough guys get enough chances. That simple principle was thrown out of the window. People just don’t get it. “When you treat a disease you win, you lose, but when you treat a patient you always win” – Patch Adams. When you play to win, you may win or lose, but you play to give people a chance you will always win. Winning is not the objective of the sport I play. It is the happy outcome. Having such an attitude helped me unearth good talent that helped us win and build our side. But all this is complete bullshit. I left the team for a few months and we forget all that. We mess it up completely. Now I know why some guys just kept bumping into office kept asking me to come back and lead. They indicated that they would come in only if I came in to lead. In yesterday’s match I did not lead. I stayed around the fringes. The guy in charge made some stupid, silly noises and asked for my opinion as if to pay due deference. I also did not seize it as I wasn’t sure of my own fitness. I struggled on the field missing a few catches and letting a bowl go from under my feet. So I was a bit apprehensive going into bat. Opening the batting, my job was to hang around till a few overs. I hung around a bit. Hitting a few drives and a missing a few. I stayed there till the fourth/fifth over to realize that possibly we were a bit slower than required chasing 160 in 20 overs. I gestured to captain if I could start hitting. Affirmative came the gesture. I started playing aggressive, trusting my footwork and my drives. I started stepping out to the spinner. A few boundaries and a few shots played out. I was on a roll! My shots were connecting and my technique was supporting me. The heat was also oppressive, but my cycling and swimming kept me through. I was a bit tired but not dead. Ten overs and I was still going strong. I realised that we still had bench strength, which meant I could go for more shots. Up the run rate even more, if possible. In Mumbai cricket is played on maidans with the pitches never in the centre. So you will have one boundary closer than the other. Typically the spinner will always use bowl from eth end where he gets a long leg side boundary and a short offside. It’s a trap I have used many times. Get the spinner to toss up to a really long leg side field and tempt some BIG shots. You might giveaway a six but you will get his wicket next. It always works. I was not going to be suckered into this trap. I wouldn’t be able to clear that. Especially against the left arm spinner bowling away. But that meant I could get the ball to clear the offside with the spin. Easier said than done. From a Leg side player when I started playing maidan cricket twelve years ago I had slowly evolved an offside attack. I hit a few boundaries there and then… there… one of my big dreams of my life. I danced down the spinner on a pitch that was holding up and smashed the spinner with the spin for a lofted cover drive and cleared the boundary for a SIX. I have never been able to cover drive a six. I have once smashed one over point. But that was a fast swing bowler. This was the shot to unsettle the spinner. He had no option but to bowl short and that meant easy pickings. Anything on the offside was being hit hard. Your game is over. While batting I felt a twitch in my knee. The same knee. I felt my back a bit. Oops. While running and turning sharp I realized I might have hurt my toes (two blue toes when I saw them later). So now I knew I was close to my first ever fifty and I knew I might not play another match this season. What should I do. Slow down. No. never. The team comes first. So I continued hitting till one mishit and I was in the pavilion. I had batted for thirteen overs, ran like crazy for a lot of runs, hit 6 boundaries and a six and when I saw my score I wanted to kill someone. 48 of 41 balls. My god! Another chance missed. The form of my life and I had not converted it. Was I going to retire without a 50 ever? We won the match eventually and I was declared man of the match. A huge achievement for someone who never had formal coaching and learnt by reading, listening and playing. Playing cricket in my mind. Promising never to repeat my mistakes. That’s the way I learnt. The real hard way. Here is me getting my award….

And here is my scorecard, for my record. Sorry to inflict this on the reader...

But I still walked away completely tired and frustrated. Frustrated that I did not hit 50 and even more so that my team was getting destroyed. I could see the resentment on the few players. I could see that people would not come in to play in the next few matches. I could see my team disintegrate and I knew that my knee, my back and my toes would not allow me to play again this season. And hence I have no option. Shut up and walk away. I will have to rebuild the team next season. I can’t interfere from outside and I can’t change a dam thing. Oh dam, I tried explaining this to the fellows in charge but people just don’t get it do they? Simple principals are forgotten in our desire to win. We forget why we are there, to start with. All we want to do is win and we start doing stupid things. The current guy in charge is a good cricketer but he will bowl himself more than required and he will not experiment as much as he should, he will rely on old hands and do old tricks. They don’t always work for you. And you can’t build long term on short term tricks. So I walked away with a win, man of the match and a great shot with disappointment and anger. Quiet seething rage. No fifty and a team being killed and I can’t do jack. Tough shit. Really angry tough shit. I will wait for time. Possibly rebuild the team and possibly hit at least one 50. At least one.