Dreams and Despairs

Every time I walk around my new house I can’t but help thinking, wow this is a big house and wow, its mine with my money that I have earned over these years. How did this happen?

When I openly talk about my own astonishment, my friends tell me – Jaimit you are a big man, you deserve this. But I never saw myself as a big guy. I know I am pretty senior now in my company. I am part of a big team running the company. A far cry from the 25 year old kid who joined the company and was thrilled to get the designation Associate Vice President on card. So thrilled that I remember flashing it around at the college reunion. Like most other thrilling cute things. As time goes by, the novelty wears off and you move on.

In my case it also helps that I am married to Jasmine who is nonchalance personified. Ok, you are the super senior guy in office and all that jazz, and you are stuck in meetings that could potentially make a few crores for the firm in a few years, but till then, can you please get a printout and before you come home – get some bananas and get up a few minutes early and go down and get some milk. 2 litres – Gokul special. Gokul special? Doesn’t he deliver – its three bucks a liter for delivery charges.

There, I am grounded. I think even I become some big CEO of some big company, I still will have to get the milk home. Two liters, Gokul special. Cause she has to make paneer and set the curd for the weekend. Sure. That’s why I am always amazed how did this delivery boy get this big house? Just how?

But I am not complaining. When this house was being made, it was completely different from what I was imagining it to be. It was shaping up nicely and like a rich man’s house, and that was causing me great pain. I did not want a rich man’s house. My image of myself is a simple guy with simple tastes and simple wants. Not this awesome rich freak with wall papered hall. Call me old fashioned but I grew up on a healthy dose of Amitabh Bachhan movies where a rich guy in a big house is always the villain. I identify myself as the one single guy who against the system, always angry, trying to work hard and make a decent living. In the middle of all this – I got myself a house.

In fact in the middle of the process of making the house, I was having a real heart to heart conversation with Jasmine. I was telling her that I don’t like the way my house is shaping up. It is looking too rich. I don’t identify with this and she had to calm me down and say its ok. I think she saw the foolish of my self-image and had to endure my stupidity and my ill directed ire. Slowly but surely I started seeing how nice it was and how well designed it had become. It really was spacious and well done up. And tastefully so. And everyday when I reach home or when I wake up in the morning and walk to the dining room, I ask myself, how did this happen?

As a young 20 year old, I was pretty much insecure about my future, my life and my career. I don’t know what I did and how I got here. For me it was always a question of how could one survive. I dreamt of a simple one room where I could get to sleep and wake up and have less possessions. India was not awesome nor did it have enough opportunities when I was in college. It slowly opened up and allowed people to blossom and make the most of it.  This is the power of free enterprise and dreams. This alone can pull millions of people out from poverty and allow them a chance to lead a prosperous life.

When I was growing up, one day cricket was just a start and people were just about trying to follow it. The world cup had started and it was dominated by the West Indian team. It was only around ten years back I found out that the west indies is not a country but a loose bunch of countries tied together by a cricketing board that tries to pick the best team.  By the time I was growing up, in 1983, India won the world cup and the frenzy around cricket just started.

The world cup was being held in London every time as only UK had the money to host the world cup and they insisted that the commercials lead the sport. India ten with the help of Reliance Industries brought the world cup to India in 87 and showed that when it comes to money power and organizing skills, we were getting there. Then liberalization started and when a billion liberalized people want some thing, it happens. We could put the most amount of money on the table and then the richer countries started crying and asked for the WC to be allotted on a rotational basis.

Today India holds the biggest private jamboree on cricket every year in the form of the IPL and cricketers from around the world come to be a part of this melee. It’s a huge thing and an interesting victory of the triumph of private enterprise. So many cricketers now may have been consigned to obscurity now have a chance to make a decent living. Ditto with the kabaddi league in the country. Just five years ago these players were living a simple Spartan life till the league happened and changed their lives.

In some ways I look to identify with this phenomenon. A life time spent on have nots and insecurity moving to a life of abundance and an attitude of we will figure. It’s pretty dramatic a shift as far as mental shifts are concerned. But at least I am thankful about it. It’s improved my life and allowed me to live my dreams in the best way possible. I fought my way here and it allowed me to reach what I thought impossible. Whatever works… works.

As an aisde, I cannot understand how kids these days (kids meaning everyone younger than me) look at a hookah joint and want to plan to go there and smoke away. I cannot understand it. I was having a conversation with my daughter on this and wondering how this works as well. Some kids in her school, drink and smoke. Oh dear dear me. They are not even 18. Hookah joints are the start point as they look innocuous enough and harmless enough. Like beer and breezers, simple innocuous starting points. As Jispa told me – they are gateway drugs. Simple enough to pull you in and then envelop you completely. I cannot endorse it no matter how hard I try to accept it. But hell, you choose your life and you choose what comes with it. What can I say? These are the side effects and perils of free enterprise. The ingenuity of man works both ways. I don’t know if I have blogged about this, but the fact that alcohol figures prominently or subtly in almost every Hollywood and Bollywood movie, there is a consipracy theory I have behind this. I think it’s all funded by the liquor lobby to make it look cool. Even the Avengers movies shows Tony Stark (Ironman) getting himself a peg and enjoying his drink. Every Indian movie has a song sequence at a party / club after getting yourself a few shots.

It is wrong and this is subtle targeting. The ability to imprint the coolness in people’s heads. It will cost us a lot. Hookah will cost us a lot. In ways that are not direct and un-understandable. We will learn and we will see. After all the choice is ours. We choose. We decide. But hope we have the wisdom to choose wisely.

aaj darshan kare hum

In 1975, two legends were released.

Sholay will always be the ultimate epic of Bollywood, with amazingly well etched out characters and some lovely acting. For years, the characters were used to sell products or crack jokes. It was the ultimate super movie. The other legend was born 5 days later – me. Hah.

The other legend was Jai Santoshi Maa. This was a crazy dumb ass of a mytho meets current life movie in which the harassed but sweet as a daisy female protagonist gets her due. It set off the Devi Maa frenzy into the country with the Santoshi Maa fasts being the thing to do for all ails.

I remember seeing some parts of this movie and bloody hell grew up listening to these songs everywhere. My memories of these bhajans/ devotional songs are of a young kid, images of mother, festivities and dandiya being played. All this interspaced with images of being in Dubai. So it’s a weird combination of sands, air conditioning and parents from a low angle (I was a toddler remember). Writing this blog brought back memories which I now hereby share with you. Here listen to this.

The 70’s and 80’s dandiya beat hitting your head in a rhythmic frenzy. The gujju in me is awakened, albeit temporarily to this beat, wanting to take two bamboo sticks in hand, hold them gingerly in the middle, as I swirl, flirting with my fiancee, making eye contact, briefly and then smiling in acknowledgement, only to turn and twirl again, as fast as possible to catch her glimpse again. Hahahaha. Writing this was funny as it was only half in jest. The greatest memory of my marriage ceremony was the dandiya function which was held by Jasmine’s kutchi family in the true traditional style. I am dying to have a dandiya function like that again. Once more. With Jasmine. We had the best of times dancing to each other’s rhythm. Its been a long time since we danced like that together. I am sure her dancing legs will instantly activate on hearing the beats and seeing the ground set up. AH.

Jai Santoshi Ma was one the biggest hits of the year, holding its own story of love and piety against the simmering anger of Sholay and Deewar. For years, later Bollywood looked towards the feminine divine form for redemption, intervention and inspiration, torturing us with unbelievable stories at the climax, cheating us of logic and plotline. Man a crazy mind f*&K it was.

But who am I to criticize an era, especially since it etched me and gave a lot of my childhood, waiting for some Maa to save me from my Maa when I screwed up ;).  Yesterday I watched my own Jai Santoshi Maa and took my family along for the torture. It was a homage to the God who delivered us our aspirations and rode along in the journey from an awkward teen unsure about my future to an adult with faith in India and its ability to shine at the world stage. This God of India had people waiting for him wherever he went, he could do no wrong, no false step and conjure up magic from anywhere. His mere presence was enough to believe in hope. His name… you have to chant it, the way the world chanted it – SACHIN, SACHIN, dhad dhad dhad (three beats or claps or whatever you could do with any percussion in row, fast). No one made it up nor taught it to anyone; it was automatic and spontaneous from a crowd that was as a whole in dervish whirl to start with.

It was a documentary on the life of Sachin Tendulkar that I inflicted upon my family. It was horrible and disgusting, with no hope of getting any balanced view or insight. It was shit to start with and to finish with. When you have lived in a fish bowl for 30 odd years, not much is not known about you, much you can still try to extract insights from your journey that can be passed on to the youth to whom life may a pitfall be.

(This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building this bridge for him)

Only if you were a die hard Sachin fan would you like this movie. Which I admit, I did. It moved me and brought out some real emotions in me. It ended with his retirement speech during which I could help but cry. Sachin had out stayed his cricket by a couple of years and he was at the end, a shadow of himself but still a force to reckon with. He always played his best at the world cups and the whole country wanted to win one for him. In the end when he had his last chance and we won the cup, it was because the team unlike the past did not depend on him to win it for them, but they wanted to win it for him.

But still, since he was two years older than me, his destiny was tied in with me as we saw a childhood of less to an adulthood of plenty, as we transitioned the economy to global inter connects and brashness of action but with a demeanor (almost false) of humility and good luck. In many ways, this 390 bucks that I spent on three tickets was my last piece of homage to the man who brought me endless hope, belief and joy. How can I explain when God hits a ball in the air and your hearts jumps with a weird type of joy and scare at the same time? Is it a six or will it be out. Should I leap in joy or should I hold my heart till I see the ball clear the fence (invariably). Oh god. How do I explain this?

But it still was a bad documentary. One sided and – ya – my era’s Jai Santoshi Maa where in the end, divine intervention solves everything! Here watch this, but go fast to the 6 minute mark when divine happens, or don’t say I did not warn you.

If you have belief and submit yourself to the higher lord then you will be delivered! JAI SANTOSHI MAA

And here see this miracle. When we as nation were facing the our fears, with Shoaib, the fastest bowler in the world, coming charging down on a hard wicket, bowling fast and Sachin hitting him for six with a shot never seen before by his devotees. That shot will forever be etched in my memory. This one comes in the one minute mark itself in the video. Have fun. But come on, don’t insult the devotee and go forward. See all his three miracles of the world cup.

See this one at the 4min:38second mark. That defined the God forever as it was against another God in this mega inter galactic battle

And I also know where I was on 27^th March 1994. I was in Panchgani in a hotel room when I woke up early to watch the match with dad as we saw Sachin open the innings for the first time to give Darshan and forever change the pecking order of the batting Gods of India. He sowed the opening the batting with the field restrictions is all about the gaps the aerial shots. We all wanted his century so much and it was so disappointing when he got out to a soft dismissal.

But here. The God has long retired paving the way for the others to follow. Creating an era as he walked on the 22 yards. And I paid my dues by watching his shitty documentary. I will always be beholden to him but at least my dues are paid, with money in the donation box.

But while going, listen to this aarti and then go please.

Jai jai Santoshi maata jai jai maa…. Jai jai Santoshi maata jai jai maa…. Jai jai Santoshi maata jai jai maa….Jai jai Santoshi maata jai jai maa….

the ingredients of performance

Food is everything! Growing up, I did not realize the power of food to do what we need to do if we are to push ourselves. Our minds and our bodies are completely dependent on the food intake. I realize this quite late in life. I think I really started thinking about it when I think I started getting older and when I still wanted to play. I think it started with Squash. I started playing squash at the gymkhana and I realized that on certain days I played better and on certain days I was a disaster. I would get tired and couldn't well on certain days and one certain days I could go on and on like a Duracell battery. When I looked back, even the simple act of eating a humble vada pav, which is as unhealthy as it gets, made a difference in my game and my stamina. You need some fuel to burn. I think the other big one (I think I have blogged about it) was when many years ago I was amongst the last to bat while chasing a score. We lost the match as in the end I just had no energy left to bat or run or hit. I never did forgive myself. It was simple - I hadn't eaten proper lunch before joining for the match. By the time, I went to bat I had no energy. After that, I made it a point to eat and drink well before and during the match. The results played out very soon. At the fag end of my cricket playing days, I could be amongst the oldest but a tireless player, even over a 45 over match. I think one of my greatest cricketing feats was when in one 45 over match the team had scored enough in 20 overs and were 8 wickets down. I batted for 25 overs, without getting out and hardly scoring as well. But I stuck through. I think we won that one as the opposite team just went bonkers trying to get the last pair out. They spent all their energy just trying to bowl us out. And we just remain steadfast and kept them on the ground.

Food is extremely important. And water of course. Whenever I play badminton I take my water to the game and eat two small bananas. bananas are the best. When I don't have them I eat an apple, but in my experience, nothing does better for me than bananas. On certain days, I can feel the difference. on Monday, I went to play and forgot to eat properly. I had just half an apple. When I was playing I realized that something was wrong. My energy was failing and my game wasn't going too good. I was missing something. the shuttle was going in the right place and I had trouble concentrating in the shuttle. Then I realized - I hadn't eaten properly.

A couple of months ago I had started Pilates. Here also, I went after eating two bananas. The result - in my first class itself - I had to rush out to puke. Wow. Pilates is not so much about cardio as it is about really flexing your core, that includes your stomach. It was bad. I learned my lesson. Eat only one banana and that too, at least, an hour before. I ate something wrong once again and in one of the other classes, I puked again. Pilates is tough and you really squeeze your stomach while you push yourself. Also, I realized that this is not simple puke. I felt as if there was a bit of acidity that was also throwing itself out. It's a good kind of thing to vomit. It felt like a release of toxins. That's when I realized that sometimes the stomach is out of whack and it refuses to behave and perform under pressure. You have to control what you eat and when you eat. The simplest of all solutions for this morning acid during pilates is a shot of lime and honey in the morning. I also add that to the water and we are set. It hasn't happened when I have this combo.

Pilates is going just fine. The place where I go is actually a dance academy where all the kids who teach me are just that - kids learning dancing. When I interact wit these kids I realize that these kids have a passion for dancing and they really want to push themselves. They braved all odds to become dancers and they want to follow their dreams and their goals. They are simple kids with dreams and passions in their hearts and their eyes. You can see that. they want to do well. My teacher is a young boy of 20. Neeraj. Every time he tries his best to teach and asks me if all was great after the session. he wants to please and do better. He wants me to do better. He wants to set goals for me. He wants to push me.

That's a great thing most of the time, but a crazy thing on certain days. On the days when the other members bunk and I am the only guy, it's a crazy thing. While doing the exercises in a class, it's easy to cheat a bit. Take a little break, do a few fewer counts, relax a bit. But when you are the only one - it gets crazy. This Tuesday, I was the only one and for some reason, my stomach was not up to it. I think there was acidity. This is a killer combo. I could barely do much and he was on my case. he wanted me to do good. At the end, I had to plead and say not today. 

I get the feeling that they realize that I am an old man - twice their age - but I really try hard. I push myself and try to do the exercises. These have helped me. I feel the bulk in my shoulders and chest. I think I am growing strong. Simply by doing these freehand work and no weights. These kids and I have bonded well. It's a cute, uncle kiddo thing, where they push and respect me; and I push them around but still respect them. I can scold them and they scold me.

Speaking of which - Jispa is getting really tortured at swimming. They have really increased the workload and they have been pushing her to the brink. The workouts are really tough and strenuous. In addition, to swimming, they have started land training which looks a lot like the pilates I do. they also have a little weight training in the routine. Jispa gets rogered. I have given her a massage every night. Yesterday while I was massaging her, for the first time, I felt that she has serious biceps now. She always had tone but now I could feel bulk. Wow. She is fit and now she is getting strong. Really strong! I can see cuts with bulk. This is serious.

I was telling her, now you know what champions do and what they go through. Go Champion. this is your choice, you have chosen and now it's up to you to fulfill your dream. WOW.

belong

Its been three days at the new office for me now. The first day was very tough. I spent the day battling a sense of depression. It come from various sources – a stong missing of my old team and the new office which somehow doent know how to welcome a new person. I remember the last time I was at a new place. It was 11 years ago. My first interaction with my new team was an offsite. Here I remember feeling like shit and alone and not knowing whats going to happen. I did not know if I could belong here.

This place was also a nightmare on the first day. When my old team celebrated a birthday at office and sent me the photo, I was completely upset. Smashing a cake on everyone at a birthday was my thing. By the time I left it was a ritual for everyone to smash a cake on everyone and then take a selfie with all the constituents. This time I was not in photo and instead there was my replacement. That was not fair.

I returned home in a bad mood and was not sure what I wanted from life. It carried on till the next day morning and then I did not have time to sulk as I had one meeting afetr another. Suddenly after the second meeting – shit changed. Something happened and I got my groove back. I got out of the meeting and started taking charge of the numbers. I got the relevant people in the teama nd started barking orders left right and centre, I started teaching how the numbers must reflect, started attacking the existing way of doing things, called the team one by one and started talking to them. I spoke to each one of them and asked them what they were doing what they wanted to do in life. I started talking to some of founders and asked them what they wanted to do in their streams of business. Then I started cracking the whip on everything I could see.

Now I am in control, now I am back and suddenly nothing is new to me.

Yesterday I was telling Jasmine, All it needed was me to believe in myself and my abilities. The first day was just an abberation. Once I believed in myself and knew that I belong here, everything else just fit into place. I asked the right questions and got the right direction. I pushed for what I wanted and the people all fell in line.

Of course right now, the guys must be wondering what kind of a mad man they have as a boss. This guys comes in at 8 am and then leave a little earlier than 8 pm. Constantly pushing, showing agression and urging them on while laughing, cracking jokes and suddely calling a spade a spade.

Of course I have matured in the 11 years. With more than 17 years of work experience, I know how to push the bar on work to be done. The first day as I said was an aberration, it was an important transition day. The second day was even more important – now I know that I can and that’s easy. Just trust your instincts. Like the first day for a  new batsman on forign soil for the first time in a test match. You prod, you poke, you sulk, you move around. You get a few overs in, you possiblyget out and you don’t know what hit you.

When you come back for the second innings or the next day, you have had time to reflect and to look back at yourself. Then you tell yourself to just chuck it and trust yourself, and enjoy your time. The first ball hits the bat and then things fall in place. When I played cricket I have opened many times. I always liked to go to the non striker first. It allows you to get a feel of the match. I also always liked to listen toteh sound of the first time the ball hits the bat. I hate to get out without even touching the ball with the bat. Once I feel that, I know I can bat and then I know I belong and then its on form there.

I started here by the numbers and the way we looked at them. I got my team to start working on them. To start analysing them in a way that made sense to everyone who needed to analyse them. Things started falling in place from then on. Analysis is something that I have always been good at. Getting numbers in a format that aided decisions is extremely important but a few get it right. I cant understand why it would be so difficult, but now I have had years of training on it.

So yes, the first ball was outside the off stumo which I left. The next ball was on the stump which I defended firmly and the ball raced away between covers to the boundary line. I belong.

sixers? mood pe hain.

After two years I played cricket. I had given up on playing cricket after my awe full knee that is impossible to contain on the field. So I was missing in action, till my building guys ganged up and gave me real emotional gyan for me to play in the team. This was the league organized between buildings in the complex.  The last time while batting my knee folded and it was impossible to do anything. This time I thought my knee had improved and I thought I could manage it.

It was obvious that these guys did not know much about field placement and when I took the field I could place the fielders correctly. And this one always works… when I change one fielder and ask him to move a little bit and the next ball comes directly down his throat for a catch. This one happened here as  well and the pretender was clear – I was to set the field and the others simply followed. And that was good fun. You choose who the good fielders are and figure where you want the better guys to stand – who might be a good runner to stop the boundaries and who might be good enough to stay within the circle and who is likely to take skiers that get hit…and of course where are the skiers likely to go to. All this without really knowing who really does what. I have met these guys just about a week back and I hardly got to play anything with them. Once just judges from body types and posture if the guy would be a boundary guy or an inner circle guy.

When I was much younger I wanted to bowl field and bat. Slowly I stopped wanting to bowl. I knew my limitations. I wasn’t too much interested in bowling in any case. With a bad knee and back – I had stopped bowling some time back. Also I hated this no ball issue. I would bowl amazingly well in the trials and the nets where there was no real issue of no balls but I would be horrible in a match situation. Here all hell would break free. I was forever scarred by one match where I kept bowling no balls. So it was only batting for me. Now as an old man – I did not want to go out to bat I was happy sending people one after the other. These guys wanted me to bat but I kept refusing in the two starting games. In a stupid four over game we lost enough wickets for me to go in. I promptly went and ran myself out. What else do you want me to do in the last over of a four over match? Next match I got myself bowled. I was out of touch. Then came the third match. this was against the top team.

Our team got me to place the fielders but we still had two captains. One guy who was the enthu guy who got the entire team together and another guy who was the good player who the other captain. Who was the captain? Between them they were making a mess of the bowling changes and the batting order. In a bloody four over game they were deciding the batting order and the idiots wanted to go one down or two down… same thing in the bowling – some idiot wanted to save his over for the last over as he was expecting some pinch hitting in the end. They actually take the logic of a 50 over match to four overs. In a four over match you just keep hitting. The best batsman come in first and then you use the best bowlers up front so that you take wickets and stop play. So in the third match some idiot gave the worst bowler the second over so that he preserves the best bowler for the last – that too against two in form rampaging batsman. They murdered us. I tried to switch the fielders a bit and get the field right. I got it spot on and got the field right – but all the shots went for sixers – right above the fielder I had kept. There were no boundaries… straight sixes. I was pretty irritated with these idiots.

So while batting first the opposite team made around 65 runs, with bowlers bowling no balls which went for sixes. I came off the field in a different mood. I asked who took decisions and people just shrugged. I saw the team highly demotivated and down. I just got really pissed and asked for the bat and went opening. And it was fun – I smashed two sixes! Then I was out but it set the tone – we still lost but respectfully.

I wondered what made me suddenly perform. It’s the same in badminton – I refuse to raise my game just for no reason. Why should i? I think I behave like this in office as well.  It’s difficult for me to keep my game at a raised level through the game, through the day or through the year. Something has to tick me off or tick me right or some stimulus. I have always been an aggressive person – very very aggressive but I have learnt that aggression is something people use against you. It fundamentally hurts us especially our own health and then it hurts all those around us.

But still I enjoyed. I still hit two more sixers in the next game and I took one really good catch that I was proud of. The team wanted me to lead them the next year. That was fun. But who knows what is there is store next year. Let’s see. But that’s why I like the game. It teaches me a little about myself. And it keeps me constantly guessing. In one match we dropped 4 catches. I kept seeing what I could do. I kept looking around… the fielders were placed in the right places. The miscues were going to the wrong guys and the right guys were making the wrong mistakes. So that felt nice – thinking and making decisions and seeing the results. Once I saw the field, the batsman and thought to myself – oops – a mistake. But I realized it too late and I couldn’t change the field and the next ball went exactly into the area I knew was the hole…. Aaarghh. It’s a bitter sweet then. Bad because there was a boundary and good because you predicted it. hmmm….

side nahi bola!

I see this cricket pitch marked out on the ground near office. I really really miss playing cricket. Cricket was an important part of life. It mattered to me. Playing cricket mattered. It taught me so much about life and about leadership and about the qualities of men! It taught me about playing to your strengths, field and to the strength of you team. Right now I am playing badminton. It’s an interesting sport as well. But it’s nowhere near a team sport like cricket. Here you play to your partner’s strength. The big learning is that you have no option but to trust your partner and pray they play to their strengths. You keep encouraging them and keep giving them tips and hopefully your partner encourages you and keep giving you tips. Cricket on the other hand has a complete huge team that you are playing in. as fielder you are on the move at all times. You are reading the game, the bowling, the batsman and you are trying to predict what is going to happen. When you bat you have to bat for yourself, your team, the score, the batsmen left, the bowlers bowling, who all are left… the complexities are enormous. That’s the reason that a captain is so important in cricket than any other sport. He takes decisions that can impact the game at every minute. Not taking a decision is also a decision. Letting the play drift a bit or speeding things up or sending the right person etc… A captain is almost the game! That’s why it’s a bug thing to be a captain in the Indian cricket team. He gets the best sponsorships and the big deals.

Of course galli cricket is never as complicated. You just go with the flow. In fact the captain’s job is only to win the toss and take batting first. People’s roles and positions are well marked out. Every guy has his pecking order in his brain. Everyone knows who is the best batsman and what is your rank relative to him. So you know before hand whether you will get to open or go one down or where you are going to field or if you are going to be given a bowl. Over time holy cows get established and no captain dare change the holy cow. At best sometimes a little shuffle happens and a little innovation happens but largely everything is set in stone. If the big opener is asked to sit in and go one down, it could cause a huge uproar… but only from that guy. The rest will only be happy to oblige and get first batting. The toss also has a strategic significance. It is extremely crucial to win this toss. This determines the entire game in galli cricket. It is a very simple rule at the core of it. You try your best to win the toss. Because if you win the toss - you bat. Simple. Any captain who wins the toss and fields will get removed from the captaincy. Of course – the team decides the captain. Hence the poor captain in this case is answerable to the team itself. Now the strategic answer to the reason why we bat first – always… its simple you only field for how much you have batted. You bat first, score as much as you want and then you field only that much. Everyone in galli cricket wants to bat. Bowling is a chore and fielding – the greatest boredom known to man. It is quite often that the entire team will get out for a paltry score in single digits. Then the batting team is even more ecstatic. This mean they got their batting, got out and now you don’t even have to field for long. Such are the travails of galli cricket.

In Mumbai galli cricket as the name suggests is played in the gallis – streets. The pole or the wall or a cardboard would be the stumps and one the other side is typically a stone. The topography of Mumbai dictates the rules of the game. The aunty who is ready to stop the game will have her wall  direct shot being given out. So the rules are complex – if you hit the wall one bounce or more – it’s a boundary. If you hit the ball full toss on the wall – it’s a six. But if by chance you hit the ball full toss outside the wall – oops – you are out. In fact most of the time the batsman wil drop everything and start running if he hit a shot too good for anyone else. He better run fast and search for the ball or else the game will simply stop. Other weird rule start coming into action depending on the game. Certain places you get declared runs, certain times LBW is not out, some times there is no stumping, wide has one run or simply a reball and so on. The wide and LBW are the most contentious ones, as they depend completely on judgment and there is no real metric to this. Since the umpire is almost always that of the batting team, the scales are always loaded in favour of the batsman. Hence it makes sense to nullify this for all. No LBW and a wide is simply a chance to ball again without the run penalty. The other fights happen over run outs and catch behind – those are the worst. They result in huge fights as it gets tight.

But the best is when your own batsman is struggling to score at the crease. Here your own team will boo you and in extreme cases the captain, keeping the team spirit as the primary motivation, declares the batsman out. He gets his own batsman back. You can get out, you can hit a bad shot, you can do anything but you do not ever waste balls and make the game boring. Everyone wants excitement. Running between the wickets is also a fun thing. if the two guys have a great chemistry then you can keep running or else, more often than not, you get to witness the most comical of run outs. The most amount of run outs will happen when you will see both batsman stuck on the same crease. One guy will run, the other guy will respond and then realize that it’s not working and then he rushes to beat his own partner to the crease so that the other guys run out. It crazy – because then the both team members will start fighting on the pitch itself, bats will be thrown and the choicest abuse will be hurled while the fielding team will be laughing their guts out. You get the best laughs in these comical situations. The only worry here is that if the fight snowballs and the batsman walks out and goes home – the game could end. Especially if he is the one owning the bat. You never piss off the owner of the bat or ball. NEVER.

I remember one other weird one during the summers. When the game went on in the morning or evening and you were thirsty – you go anywhere but your home to drink water. If you went home then invariably your mom would ask you come back home and then you are doomed. So you never go home to drink water. You always ask a friend.

The funnies of cricket:

Many times you play full catch both hands allowed and one bounce only one hand allowed

Run out on the bowler end is by touching the stone with your leg and catching the ball or by hitting the stone directly.

A half line is drawn across the pitch for knowing which end to throw to get the last man run out if you bat without runner. Otherwise a runner is used on the other end who cant bat.

Sometimes a joker is used if there is an odd number of players. He plays for both the teams but he can’t go in to bat till all the batsman are out and most of the time he cant bowl. He is largely the wicket keeper.

 And the most irritating rule that umpires of the batting team love – if you bowled with out specifying the side you bowled, then it’s a no ball. So basically before bowling you will walk up and tell the umpire – right arm over the wicket – and bowl – otherwise it’s a no ball – side nahi bola!