what a burden

“Ok let’s go. No wait. Let me see… where is our weighing scale, Jasmine?. Yes got it. Come here Jispa. Ok… that’s roughly six kgs. And you still don’t have it all. Some stuff is still missing”

Whenever we came in from Dubai for a vacation in India, we would stay for almost two months at our Granny’s house. My Granny was rich. The family had two buildings that belonged to them and she stayed on the top floor of one. One entire floor was theirs. That was great fun. We were treated like royals. Especially because we came in from abroad so we would come with bags full of foreign merchandise not available in India in those days. Simple stuff like chocolates, t shirts, chewing gums etc. We were the toast of all our cousins. OK possibly it was not all due to the stuff we bought. I am sure some would be happy just to meet us. But it was nice to feel like royalty. And yes the biggest thing in India. Servants. In Dubai you may have been rich and drinking Pepsi but in India you don’t work. You get the servants to work for you.

This was in many ways a cultural shock for us kids. It was a mixed feeling. While servants are good fun when you are sleepy and you need someone to make the bed, it never felt good to give them work. I still don’t like giving them work or getting them to do stuff for us. So as a kid from Dubai I never understood how to treat them. Was the full time maid who was possibly just about 15years old my friend, my servant or what? She would play with us but she couldn’t really win, could she? Whatever – I remember it being very very confusing.

Then we moved in to India and I was in the fourth standard. Our Granny’s house was a stone throw away from the school. Mom was a bit worried about us walking to school all alone. Would we brothers from Dubai be able to cross the roads safely? So she came with us for a few days and then I later learnt she would send us alone but follow us from afar and check if we went right. Softies from Dubai can’t negotiate the Mumbai roads. And this was in 1984, when we didn’t even have enough cars. Afterwards she sent the maid along with us to school and to pick us up. The maid would come along and we never understood what her role was. I don’t think she understood it as well. She tried to ask us if she could carry our bags. NO WAYS. Not a chance we would allow her to do that. I was around 8 or 9 years old but I would have enough dignity to carry my own school bag.

I have never understood why someone needs to carry your bag for you. It just isn’t right. We had a few kids in school whose moms or uncles would carry their bags for them. But they were few and far in between. As I grew up and the economy progressed, Jasmine and I saw a lot of maids around us. Almost anyone with a child would have a full time maid and the way we saw it he maid’s essential role was to follow the child and carry its food and drink and other essentials. They would carry the bag, carry the tiffin, carry the sports kit, everything. Oh I so bloody hated looking at it. The menace was so widespread that party invite would sometime specify that ‘no maids allowed’

Among our friends Jispa was the only one without a full time help. So she was quite used to carrying her own stuff. Her friends when they would come with us would just walk away without picking up after them in a picnic or expected to be served. Argggg. Do your own stuff dudes.

Cut to present. These days when Jispa sometimes picks her school bag I see her struggle with the weight. The bags are really heavy. Jispa has her taekwondo in school so she carries an extra amount of water – glucon C or something. So there is around one and a half litre of water in her bag. Then she has a snack box. Then she carries her taekwondo uniform and then she carries her books. The bag is really heavy. At first I tried not carrying it for her as we left home. Then I realized that it was too much for a child. So just the other day I weighed the bag (it was a light day, with a few books coming home for review), and it weighed 6 kilos. On a light day. So that would got to 7 kilos at least or possibly 8.

Pit that against the 28 kilo frame that Jispa is and you get the idea. So I kind of feel sorry for her and I carry it till the car. But to ensure that life isn’t easy for her, I let her carry my tiffin or my sports bag or something. She gladly takes the exchange offer. But from the car to the bus– she is on her own.

Wait – the car till the bus? How is that a big thing? Well I did not think of it as a big thing as well. Till I saw one kid at the bus stop. He is possibly is the 6^th or 7^th grade. He comes with his mom AND his maid. His maid carries his bag while his mom marches him to the bus stop. For the record his maid is tinier (build) than him. And then when he comes to the bus stop in the car, he walks without any encumbrances till the bus and his mother or maid carry the bag for him till there. So there. Possibly I am being quick to judge. Possibly the poor boy has a condition not allowing him to carry weight. Possibly.

But the case still is a vivid example of what I see wrong. Yes the bags are getting stupidly heavy. I also don’t understand why Jasmine has to fill water and give Jispa to take to school. The school has a filter and when I was in school, we saw anyone who carried water from home as a wimp. But that still only solves around 15% of the problem. We give the bag too much weight. And then we give the child too much care. You definitely need to carry your own stuff. Jispa must carry her own stuff, but I guess it also must be adequate for her to carry.

I feel like noting the bag weight every day and then writing a letter to school. Just stating the facts. Just stating them. Let’s see what happens.

oh come off it, it's just a bag

These are two pictures of Jispa when she is off to school. What is so interesting about it? Go on think, look closely. Well. Give up? The zips are all on one side and the bottle is on the other side. What is so interesting about it? I don’t know. THIS is how it should be. Ok. Whatever you say.


This is a bag that was gifted to me by my friend Mort. He and his wife run an interesting gallery called Chatterjee & Lal that focuses on new upcoming art. I keep getting their mails and I am quite enthralled by the stuff that they keep identifying. I don’t know why in the middle of all the work I have never once managed to go there. I should be. I hope to have some art hanging around my home someday. Right now my current home hardly has any walls. But will figure…
Coming back to the bag. I love this bag. It is perfect combination of character ethic and personality ethic. It is what you want it to be. Functional or attitude… it is the eye of the beholder that decides. Opposites Reconcile.

Here is an extract from a website http://www.profitadvisors.com/in_out.shtml that outlines character v/s personality ethic. We used to us eth phrase quite commonly while in Momentum Consulting. Calling each others actions as per the ethic we deem fit. It was quite amusing.
There have been two dominant theories of achieving success in the literature of the past 200 years, the personality ethic and the character ethic. The personality ethic has been in the forefront since World War I. Previously, the character ethic was dominant.
According to the character ethic, it is most important to focus on integrating the principles of effective living into one's character. This may be a long-term process, but working on the character, including an effective view of the world, is getting at the root from which behavior flows and so is fundamental. The character ethic sees individual development as a long-term process bearing results according to the law of the harvest.
According to the personality ethic, there are skills and techniques one may learn and a public image, personality and attitudes one may develop that result in success. The problem is, eventually we may be discovered as insincere and shallow. These ideas may be helpful when they flow naturally from a good character and the right motives, but they are secondary.
A paradigm is a model, theory or explanation of something else. It is the "lens" of our preconceived notions through which we view the world. If our paradigm is not close to reality, our attitudes, behaviors and responses will not be effective or appropriate. We will be as lost as a person trying to function in Chicago with a map of New York. We can only accomplish quantum improvement in our lives if we accomplish a paradigm shift resulting in a more accurate and effective view of the world. Some paradigm shifts may be fast (a blinding flash of the obvious), some are more slow (a change in character).
The Seven Habits is a principle-centered paradigm. Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value -- they are fundamental.

mark it

Ever since I started using the pencil on the books I am enjoying underlining interesting stuff and marking out the important sentences. Its good fun but does not account for a pretty book. But at least it’s easier to refer to later. At least that’s the theory. So I underline, mark out, circle words that I need to refer to etc etc… here is one book that I am currently reading and this is what the pages end up looking like. If you see the underlines are quite shabby and are not done with straight lines. That’s not because my hand is shaky (possibly from too much booze) but because those are lines marked out in a train. Dodok dodok, dodok dodok. The lines will also follow similar rhythms.
Next to the book is my satchel. It’s a Mao bag that a friend of mine brought for me from Chine. It reminds people of their school bags I guess. It is definately the same material as my school bag was earlier on. I love it for some reason and its been my handy companion for some time. Useful to put in a book or two along with the pencil!

That’s Jispa and her sister Angel.