connection

The few days my blackberry device did not work I realised what I had suspected all along. I am now sure of its true use to me. Nothing much besides – deleting unwanted mails. I use that all the time. Deleting spam, rubbish mails and reading mails that are marked to me for no real reason. My job is to be marked on them. It’s only my name they require on the email. There is no action that I do on it. I am merely a cc, a statistic, no… not even that. My name must be having the power either to get work done or give assurance (albeit false) to the sender that work will get done. Or a collective responsibility in case something happens, which does not really work. Or it’s something that is merely done with hope. Someone, something might propel movement. Someone will give in. Something might transpire. Hope, ummeed, tis’ what makes the email go around.
Besides reading and marking it as read and deleting shit, there is no real use. Sometimes it helps in catching issues before they snowball. Then in a sense it is an insurance against blow ups or a bunker that helps contain the blast. Sometimes it useful as a diary with you all the time. But then not having it won’t really kill you.
So there. I figured out what it is by it not being there. Sort of negative learning’s, if there exits such a phrase.
Now I realise that I like checking the mails on the blackberry often enough, purely to keep my inbox at work as clean as possible. So while I might look and behave the part, spare judging me. Its not that I want the umbilical connection.
Now there – that’s sound logical enough. I almost believed myself for a minute.

But what I really missed – my gmail access which is banned in office and hence the blackberry is a saviour and of course google maps, which helps me in case I am totally lost, which is many times these days on the road.