how late can you go

Sindhis. How on earth do they run their ship? I am up to here (pointing to my nose) with their marriage functions. Yesterday I was invited to attend a Sindhi reception. The lady was a summer intern who reported into me and then I went on to teach her batch for the subject of sales. The invite said 8pm and I knew it’s a Sindhi thing so I asked her what time should I really make it. She said 9pm for sure. The food will be out and you can eat by then as well. Ok. I reached at 9pm. No food no bride only a handful of guests. 915… no sign…930 no sign… I am busy trying to call some friends in an attempt to kill time. 945 still talking to some friends, getting really low scores on the game on my cell phone. Finally at 10 pm I call up one sindhi friend of mine and blasted him instead, “You sindhis this and you sindhis that”. He was laughing “if you had only asked me before going. 10.30 the couple will come and the reception will last till two in the morning.”
Finally the couple came in at 10.15 pm and I hastily got into queue and congratulated the couple before running away.

But actually at they heart of all this, I am to blame. I studied in a sindhi college and I have a large number of sindhi friends. None of their functions ever start on time. One hour after the stated starting time must you get up and begun to get ready. Post which you will leave home for venue. This formula would work irrespective of how far you stay from the venue.
One Sindhi friend applied this rule to my marriage function and he managed to just about catch us while we sat for dinner after all the formalities were over. That way I love the gujju marriages and gujju banquet halls where we hold our marriages. People come on time and tardiness is frowned upon. The halls have cut off times which are strictly enforced. They have a first bell, then a second bell followed by a lights off policy. I have rarely seen these extend beyond 10 pm. Imagine a Sindhi wedding held by chance at a gujju hall. The couple will enter to a hall of darkness.

understandably rebelious?

When we were much younger we hated to attend marriages. We hardly knew any one. we only met irritating aunts and uncles we didn’t know. The only things they did was pull our cheeks and ask us “audhkhe khe?” (recognize me?). no pea brain. I am 10 years old. I met you once in bad light conditions and then on you have grown balder, fatter and older. I would only remember you if you had an annoying habit like plucking you nose hair, belching after food, and acting shy at the lunch table before going on to gulp 4 rasgullas. Else why would I know you? If I knew of you, I would have answer to the next question “kaun chu, hun?” (Who am I?). Either you are an insignificant grain of my complex adolescence or call you by the quirk of name that follows your habit – uncle burpo, or farto or whatever we remember you by. Inevitably the answer we would shyly mutter – ‘I don’t know; who (on hell) are you uncle?’ acting almost apologetically angelical. It was easier to avoid this marriage mess. Mom you go. Why should I come? I don’t know the bride or the groom or anyone in between. The tweens were an irrationally rebellious age profile.
On Sunday we were to go for a colleague’s marriage. On Saturday Jispa wanted to stay over at her cousin’s place. I told her about the marriage we have to go for. Her repartee was instant “I don’t want to come. Its so boring. I don’t know any one. Why do you have to go for a silly marriage?” I didn’t know that the irrationally rebellious age started this early these days.
Ok fair. I remember my childhood. You can stay with your cousins and enjoy. We are going. Bye.

Fastbreak

Sighhh… back to office from a four day break. One for elections, one for May day and the other two being weekends. They came and went in a breeze. Fast break... get it? hahahaha...
Who do you vote for in elections? In the absence of real issues and choice do you vote for a national party or the independents? Do you vote against a party or for one? Must you believe that you must make your vote count and vote only amongst the candidates that have a chance thus making it count for more? All theories are equally good. Voting is a personal choice. Whatever your theory it’s probably good; propounding your theory to others… probably bad. Whenever I vote I do get a bit emotional. I can scarcely believe that thousands of people gave up their lives and much more so that we have this right. Post independence a lot has been denied to us but on one yet has taken this right from us. It is a democracy’s oasis in the midst of totalitarian deserts. Hehehe. That came out a bit more poetic that intended.
Jispa is a compulsive reader. She reads hoardings, wall paintings, packets anything. Now she has started reading Hindi as well. She was showing me the alphabet ‘zuh’ in Hindi painted on the booth. ‘Did you learn it at school?’ ‘no.. It’s on the milk carton. The milk name is amul taaza. It is also written in Hindi. So I know it’s ta and za. So I know this one is ‘zuh’’ ‘uhhh. Ok. Cool’ am I getting used to her brains? I just hope her teachers don’t drag us to school to tell us not to teach her ahead of the class. This time we weren’t doing anything extra. It’s her kidas… not ours. Honest.
Yesterday we sent to Pune to attend a wedding. The bride was three months pregnant. Don’t get too scandalized. The poor couple had gotten married earlier in a simple court marriage as the groom’s father was unwell. Now they wanted to have the full scale wedding done. Parents too have stupid fixations. I pity the bride. Three months pregnant and going through the ordeal of an Indian wedding. Bending down a zillion times to touch the feet of the elders. I told the groom to take it easy on the genuflection, for his wife’s sake.
It was also the first time that I saw a woman photographer at a wedding. not that it should make a difference, but it’s the first instance that I saw one. Yay, yay…
Here is a photo at someone’s desk of a currently in rage spiritual guru. Notice the not so subtle transformation from God man to God in three simple steps. Cool nah!

marry more, whack more

Been away for a couple of days and already got mail on why is the blog not being updated. Accha boost hai to my blog… thank you. Keep pushing, dear friends, I really love you guys.
Haan, toh I had been to Delhi to attend a friends wedding. It was a nice good punju wedding held on the open lawns. But man was it cold. Luckily I reached at 3 pm; and I was feeling really cold. It just scared me enough to buy one wool sweater as reinforcement for the evening. Yet I was freezing … next to the fireplace! The fireplace sittings can get interesting as your front feels nice and warm and your butt is frozen solid. So then you turn around and get what you always wanted in life – a really hot ass. And punju weddings get over at 2.45 in the morning. So it’s nice to enjoy the cold. The only thing that got me warm was when we wanted to wring the bloody shoes off the dhula. Let me tell you the entire story. The dhula’s shoes are always on great demand so he exchanged them with his best man. so after the ceremony the ladies wanted to get hold of them. So I simply suggested that they lanch a physical attack. So I got the guy, put him on the floor and well…. attacked. In the mayhem some other best men came to rescue which were effectively warded off by the women tickling. More best men came. In the free for all, the women started attacking me as I was attacking the shoes that they were also attacking, with them thinking that I was protecting what I was actually attacking… whew… so they were tickling me like crazy, but one slight problem… I don’t get tickled. So all I got was very very aggressive pokes. So after clearing the confusion I went about the task of getting the bloody shoes off… wow... wedding scan be fun. A good place to release all the frustration of traveling in crowded trains and office work. Just go to a few weddings and then whack the shit out of people either getting the shoes or protecting them. WOWIE>>> weddings are fun. No wonder I advise all my friends to get married fast. In fact if I enjoy this too much I will ask to get married more often!!!
And also I have no clue why they deck the bride so much. She looks lovely without the entire getup, then why the hell do they mess around, sooooo much. Well she still managed to look pretty inspite of it all and definitely not because it. So when she asked me how she looked. I gave her – you look pretty. But then that was the truth. The whole truth was – you look pretty, but you look prettier without the getup… but it was nice to see her get married. Always a cute thing to see girlfriends getting married.
And I rediscovered the joys of train travel…. More on that to follow...