Another offsite. I am so tired of offsites. Tomorrow we are
going to Lonavala. My company has grown and I have been a part of that growth
story through sheer luck. So I think from a younger age itself, I have been
going to offsites as a part of senior or middle management.
Offsites are the worst thing in the world and there is a
reason I have never taken my team out for one. We sit in offsites and discuss the
future of the company and other rubbish. I have never seen a productive offsite
in my life, where we sit and actually ideate on a concrete idea that needs to
be implemented and the stuff gets done. Never. Neither do we have offsites
where we actually do serious team building games and activities.
My idea of an ideal offsite is a freaking picnic. I would
love to take my team to picnic spots and play team building games all day long.
Just keep playing tons of fun games. Those offsites I remember and they help in
building real bonds and camaraderie. Not these, where we sit inside a five-star
hotel banquet area for six or seven hours or even ten hours and don’t see
anything around. Yes I have sat for ten hours in closed rooms, discussing god
knows what. I really don’t understand why the company needs to take us 100
miles or more away to get us to sit inside a banquet room. It’s easier in
office itself.
Thanks to offsites and conferences, I must have been to Goa,
at least 20 plus times, without even once really enjoying the place. We could
have been in any part of the world but of course I think bosses love thinking
that we took the entire large team to GOA! There is a perverse joy in spending
good money behind bad conversations.
Bleh. So now what. Nothing. I hitched a ride with my boss to
take me there. And his boss is also coming in the same car. So that’s also good
company for a great office and lovely start to the day! My boss is actually a
nice guy but it fun to bitch about bosses, no matter how nice they are.
Typically, I get so bored in these meetings that I think the
boredom is palpable on my face. In fact, I daresay, contempt is visible on my
face. I use every opportunity to get out of the room and go somewhere else and
do some work elsewhere. Any work. Earlier I used to be the young marketing guy
in charge of the offsite, so it made sense for me to leave the room to look
busy. I would go and sit outside and do nothing and come back.
Alas now that I am senior enough I can’t do that as well. What
a bore. I will have to sit and get involved. Typically, I sit bored till I get all
riled up or instigated or something and then
speak my mind which would likely to be controversial or conversation
ending. Till some joker again refuses to listen and starts the fighting all
over again. ARRGGG – I hate these discussions.
I can’t understand why you need more than three four people
to decide strategy. A few decide then take buy in and then relentlessly
execute. If I ever become CEO – I would ban all off sites. Total utter wastage.
Waste of time, money and holidays. I will be so loved … but then not so… I really
think a lot of my colleagues love these offsites. The fake bonhomie, the daaru,
the dancing… the painstakingly made bad slides, horrible strategy… I think
there are enough amongst us. Enough.
