A good friend got married yesterday and I far exceeded the brief on helping the marriage get on smoothly. I took charge of the catering, driving the fellow around with three ridiculous bouquets on my car and lastly arranging for a sit down dinner for the family after the reception was done. Why did I do all this. I gave myself many explanations during the day. None too plausible, even to me. Today morning I realized why I did this. Do unto other what you expect them to do unto you. Actually it’s more like – don’t do to others what happened to you, try to do to others what you want people to do.
I got married at 23. Young enough to be a nobody with little support, zero ability and very few contacts. Many times in life I got myself a raw deal. I would have loved to be in a situation where I could have built up my box of good wishes to tide me through. I couldn’t even muster up a car to take me to the marriage hall.
I have a memory that records these many little wishes / incidents in my life. Add one more philosophy of not letting others go through what you have been through – there, you get the point. If we simply saw and understood stuff that we wanted, understood what made us happy or sad and implemented this, wouldn’t all of us be happier. I don’t know. I don’t care. It makes me happy and I find it as a release. Doing it, kind of removes a weight off my shoulders. I think I use it a scar removal therapy or something like that. So while everyone might see it as altruistic, I see it more like completely selfish and internally motivated. Hence I am also at unease if someone compliments me on my behavior. It’s not for you. It is selfish, highly so and decidedly so. So don’t compliment me and say good things about me. These are my motivations, my therapy and my release. Stay out it and please let me be. Another complicated one. I am in a weird mood. Potentially life altering :)
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