champion inside

Inspiration passion motivation. And many more words that keep coming out from a lot of idiots at office. I feel stupid discussing these words. There are only thrown about while pretending to mean serious business.

The other day this lovely young lady in my team was having a discussion with me. We were discussing how to choose the designs for putting the opaque stickers on the cabins. She remarked “aren’t these designs too dull. They would restrict the light and make the cabins duller.” She was referring to some design someone liked. “ya sure. But it’s ok. I don’t care. Do it if they like it.” I have learnt to buy peace. Of course I say my point of view, but if it’s not worth fighting, I don’t bother. There are many battles to be won. You don’t exhaust your energy on a few. “but, your cabin will also get affected, wont it? Shouldn’t that bother you?” she urged. “luisten lady. First things first. Its not my cabin. I sit there and I work there. but its not my cabin. It belongs to the company and they can take it away whenever they want. You never ever fall in love with your cabin or work space or anything else.” Then I explained “once many years ago, in the year 2000, when I was around 25 years old, my office shifted to a new location and they gave me one of the new ‘manager’ cubicles that lined the sides of the room”. This is a typical design thing. The big manager cubicles line the outsides with the chicken stock getting cubicles in the middle. I have always felt that the design is fundamentally flaws. It should be the reverse. The ones doing monotonous work should get the best views and windows. But no one will possibly listen to me. “so, they gave this lovely cubicle and I liked it. And then suddenly another division of the firm, the core division with its sales guys wanted to move in and they downgraded me to another cubicle in the middle. I felt so bad that time. I think I almost cried. From then on, I never fell in love with my place. I try and stay focused on the work and work around the place. That’s why I sit out many times, I come out and everyone uses my cabin and they are free to roam around. You never fall in love with your seat. You never do that.”. “acha, she said. So is that incident what motivated you to reach this level”. “NO. Impossible. No insult can motivate me to perform or do work. That is gone long back. My motivation is inside of me. Myself. I don’t look for motivation outside. No one can motivate me. Not my boss, not my family, not my peers, no body. I decide what I have to do and how much to perform. My standards are internal to me. Why look outside? It’s all inside.”

This has been my belief for many years now. Look inside. No such bull such as positive reinforcement, positive thinking and goal setting. I have never done any of this and I don’t really believe in it. You do your best, stay in the moment and look inside of you why you want to do or not do something. When I work, I decide how good I want to do or what I want to perform. So far the standards are the ones I have chosen to keep or benchmark. Why should anyone tell me what I need to aim for? They might guide or I may be inspired. But the goals are mine and mine alone. They are for me to set, understand and follow. And what goals are we talking about? Whose knows what the future holds like? I have never been a great goal setter. I am talking about lofty goals. Sure I have small milestones, some inspiring benchmark to achieve but not really goals the way the rest seem to have or preach to have.  And for the first time I read something somewhere that resonated with I am saying. This guy in the video is talking about still power which is opposed to will power. He has written a book called still power. Listen to the video.

I haven’t yet read the book and its always dangerous to extrapolate from a single interview but the fact is that I hear this man in the this interview and I resonate with what he says. Look inside. Don’t sledge your opponents. It’s not needed. Feel good about yourself. I think most of the time my sledging has never helped us.at best it may have helped my team rally around. But over the years I have learned to respect my opponents. Be friendly its ok. You are here to play your sport. In cricket as well I keep telling my team, relax, and don’t bother about the opposition. Look at the ball and then you have the bat. That is all. The game is still played with the bat and ball. Put your mind to the game and read it well.

The last year I was in the zone multiple times while playing or leading. No need to give great pep talks, no need to tell people to focus on winning. Focus on playing the game well. If enough people play the game well, you will win. Winning is an outcome not the destination. The journey, the plain, the mental toughness, that is the destination. Love it and live with it.

I kept worrying that with Jispa I never ever let her push toward a medal. You swim, you improve your timing. You enjoy your sport. She wants to do well, because she wants to do well. You win – great. You don’t win – great. Did your practice and preparation be worth it all. Yes. That’s important. And the Zone. The zone is always inside of you. It’s not outside. Whenever I have played the best cricket is when I have been in a stillness as far as my mind is concerned. It is focused on what to do then. Freedom from fear in turn is the freedom to play. Not regretting the past nor anticipating the future.

For Jispa, the freedom to lose is exactly the freedom to win. So when she swims she swims for herself, for the sake of swimming, for swimming as fast she wants to swim. When you have a 50 mtr dash, you can’t think or not think anything. You just go and swim. You back yourself. Whenever I have run the parents race – what was I thinking. Nothing. Just the feel of running fast and running through the race. You are just enjoying the moment. The rhythm and the grace of it. That’s all. You can’t think positive or negative. Of course longer sports like cricket give you a lot of time to think. But when you are about to play, you come back and you stop your thoughts. You see the field and then focus on the ball. Time always almost stands still when you are in your zone. You don’t fight negative or positive thoughts. You merely enjoy the moment. That’s all. Focusing on yourself and in your role vis-à-vis the team.

Talking about negative thoughts – I just chanced upon this article.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/opinion/sunday/the-positive-power-of-negative-thinking.html?_r=1&ref=opinion

The power negative thinking it says. I like that. I like this paragraph a lot “The Stoics recommended “the premeditation of evils,” or deliberately visualizing the worst-case scenario. This tends to reduce anxiety about the future: when you soberly picture how badly things could go in reality, you usually conclude that you could cope. Besides, they noted, imagining that you might lose the relationships and possessions you currently enjoy increases your gratitude for having them now. Positive thinking, by contrast, always leans into the future, ignoring present pleasures.”  This stuff has worked for me innumerable times in the past. Whenever I have faced tremendous pressure or stress, my counter has been to know what’s the worst that could happen and how I would deal with it. Then the present doesn’t seem so bad after all. It’s right. That’s been my coping mechanism for the last decade or so. That’s helped me block out the issues, helped me block out the pain. In fact once your worst case scenario is acceptable then you don’t really mind the pain. In fact I would even so much as say – I end up enjoying the pain. Possibly in saying – take that dumbass, I am unaffected by you.

There is another para in the article that caught my attention “Even goal setting, the ubiquitous motivational technique of managers everywhere, isn’t an undisputed boon. Fixating too vigorously on goals can distort an organization’s overall mission in a desperate effort to meet some overly narrow target, and research by several business-school professors suggests that employees consumed with goals are likelier to cut ethical corners.”  This is also something I have argues for. Too much goal setting always, always gets employees to cut corners. To achieve only to please. To tick mark. Yes the work is done. These guys look for external goals, external targets and then simply tick mark saying that work has been done.

Surely goals are important but mindless pursuit of them and relentless follow up of goals that are generally given top down without participation lead to such a situation. In the video the author argues that goals are limiting. They don’t allow for freedom to work around. That is true. Goals are limited only by your imagination. A set of smaller victories sometimes helps a lot. Play every day, every ball. One at a time. The broad strategy fits in by itself if you take care of small victories. That’s why it always difficult to be bounded by a large inflexible goal.

Well anyways. That’s a lot of gyan for one post. But nice. It was good to stumble upon this video and the article. It suddenly reinforced what I seemed to have found and believed in – all these years.

swim for me

22 laps… that is 550 meters. That’s what I swam today. The most I have ever swum at one time. Wohooo.. I feel good. A few days back I found a trouser of mine closing a bit tighter. The scared me. I promised my self that I will swim hard now. Probably age is catching up. Metabolism is slower and the propensity to put on a rounder self is greater. Probably this was also due to two days of marriage revelry which was preceded by three days of conference. Five days of pure sugar. Feasting and pumping your body with sugar can only add a few inches to your mid riff. I have this tendency to binge on food and then completely stay off without even feeling any craving. It’s not like I punish myself when I am off fried or sweet food. It’s a natural shift. SO right now – I am healthy Sam. So I told Jispa that I will do 20 laps.
It’s always the best thing to announce your goal to someone. I keep telling myself and Jasmine and Jispa that I would do 20 laps. 20 laps. Out of which 10 will be in one go. So today morning also I told Jispa that I will hit 20. At six am I jumped in. There are some days when you somehow have reserve energy and you end up swimming quite well. The moment you hit the water you know this is going to be a good day. Your legs keep splashing and your hands glide through the water. Today … today… was NO such day. After the first lap, I was thinking about resting. The third lap and I wanted to stop. Legs not moving, hands not in sync, my reserve dipping and I was left wondering, what I ate last night. Why am I tired already? But a word made to Jispa was a word made to Jispa. If she does it, I have to as well. I started pushing myself. Four, five, six…. Then on it was good. You get tired but you are ok with it. The muscles then get used to it. Slowly slowly pushing it. Easy on the hands, hold your position. Keep kicking. Check body, head a little ahead, the arms must bend while pulling back, imagine you are pulling a rope, yes, keep going, push the water back. Everything that the coach told me was going through my head. Ten Down. A bit of rest and the next set begins. Taking a couple of breaks I finished the rest.
I sat out of the water, at the edge of the pool for a few seconds. Taking in the achievement. Wow. I have never swum so much at one time. 20 was a big goal of mine for some time. Now on to the next goal. 40 laps. That is a proper kilometer of swimming. Of course the mini goal on the way is the doing 20 without stopping. Another Big goal is to learn the tumble turn from Jispa. It seems that’s a tough one. You end up blowing out with force so that you don’t breathe in water when you somersault inside.
Now that my swimming style has been refined, one doesn’t get that stressed out post the swim. It a bit sore on the muscles but it’s not like I am limping or anything. Now I can really appreciate what Jispa goes through every day. In the evening many times while sleeping, Jispa requests us to press her legs. Especially when there has been a kicking session at the coaching camp. I have always loved massaging her legs. These days we have been using olive oil. It’s a dad thing I guess. I can understand but now I have the right to say – I almost truly understand her … pain? Well it’s not really a pain as she never really does complain about it. She seems to enjoy it. I once explained to her that her pain is due to muscles tearing and repairing and getting stronger. I think knowing the reason for pain is enough for her to bear it. Also she is doing something she loves. She enjoys her swimming, she enjoys improving her timing… and that’s pushing her forward. That’s important. I have always maintained that a motivation for a champion must come in from within. You can’t push from outside. I can’t push her. I won’t push her. I can only wake up in the morning at 5, wake her up by 5.15 and take her to the pool. That’s my deed. I can press her legs and give her a good diet. But the Pool is hers. I have to stay out.

change

Typically so far in my career I have been a set up specialist. I have gone and set up systyms for marketing / sales. I have so far not worked on an inherited structure. The only one exception has been my first job where I inherited a structure in sales and I was a miserable failure. But that was twelve years ago when I was a novice and anyone would be able to walk over me.
This time in my new role I have inherited a team and lots of structures and complexities. A lot that I don’t like and lot that don’t really need changing. One of the greatest revelations had come to me around 8 years ago. This when I was inheriting a very small and tiny customer service team. Coming from sales I thought the team was a bunch of dumbos and that nothing could be achieved or got through them. I wasn’t looking forward to this assignment. Nopes. Then when the handover happened, I looked at the girl who was the customer service head and told myself, let’s make it work. I have no clue why I did that. I just suddenly resolved that no matter what I will think of her as a good resource and that we will make her work well. She is a good person unless I am proved otherwise. Magic happened from then on. She started doing much better. She immediately responded positively to me and me to her. We set up processes and procedures that improved and gave teeth to customer service. We started bashing back the sales guys who had made it a habit of bashing service people. Service was bad, not doing their job, a piece of cake etc etc. The sales system got it back this time. Lacunas in the system were identified and ironed. Issues with sales were highlighted. Woes of the service team were stated before the bosses and a voice was created that would be heard. The service head, who was denied a promotion was given one next year. I thought it was a magical transformation. Not of her... but of me. I keep that incident as a guiding light for a lot of my interaction with the team.
It’s always easy to rubbish people and especially if you are inheriting a team. You can always rubbish eth procedures followed and the decisions taken. But to my mind if you believe that everything had a reason and that reason was to the best of that person’s thinking, then you might start seeing merit in it. The fine line between changing things and letting tem remain constant. This is the constant tug of war. Every day I come in to office thinking of what I must change and what I must let remain. Some things I must change right away. Some cultures must be removed from the roots and thrown away and some part of culture must be nurtured. But the most important of all is the people involved. What is going on in their mind. Are they free to speak up and oppose the new boss and new fangled ideas? Every day I see shit and see gems of brilliance together in the same room. The mindset I have is always that the people are good and that they will achieve what they are capable of. If the mindset remains that people will remain the same and that achievement is required irrespective then the actions I take change accordingly. Instead of getting angry or dissatisfied, one becomes the agent of change. Change that is softer on people. Change that is lasting and causes lesser stress. I have had a boss who believed that he had to bring about change. But that change he brought about was at great cost to people. He created a stressful environment and believed that he was an antibiotic (his own words). By that logic I assume he thought that we were bacteria. Then he will treat us as that.
The last few years my epiphany has been that people are the most important thing in the world. Not brands, not customers, not profits. They are all there but they finally stem from the people that you work for, who work with you and those who work for you. Happy people produce beautiful results. I remain guided by one single objective – do what is right for the person. The company, brand and culture will automatically get aligned. Many times what is right for the person is not what is right for the company and then the incongruence of goals results in stress. Sometimes one can change the company’s policies and thought process, if not then the person might need to change. If neither is willing to budge then the company loses the individual. I have never bothered to retain people.
People will stay with you if you have been fair to them. If you have been unfair then you deserve that they go and if you have been fair and they still want to go, that’s cool as well. We just get the guys on board who want a fair deal. A fair wage and a fair environment for a fair day’s work. Good people will see the light of the day for sure. They realise what is fair and what is not. Too clever practices or HR initiatives will only piss people off in the long run. It will only come back to bite you in the butt. If morale is low or energy is missing, turning outwards towards HR may be a bad idea. Responding by gifts, incentives and other means would only delay the inevitable. Like a child who responds to a shiny new toy to stop wailing for a few minutes will only learn to wail after the boredom sets in.
Fun comes from a purpose or a pride that one gets from doing good work. In that sense I am quite happy to be a part of the marketing process rather than the sales process. In sales I have seen too many people sell too much of their soul. Then the company has no other means to reward them than give them shiny new toys again and again. The boss is a barracuda hell bent on achieving targets and he just misses the point of people being there.
So here I am. Every day trying to effect a cultural revolution. Trying to change culture within the organisation. It is not easy. These are not pawns but real people with real feelings. How do I change what must be, retain what is good and have the good sense to distinguish the two. Uff. Everyday and every moment. It takes a lot out of me. I see the incredulous faces when I propose something, when I stop something. ‘but that’s how it’s always been here’. Sure thing dude, but we will change that. Do you believe it must change. ‘yes it must’. Do believe that this change will be good for you? “yes we do.... but?” go ahead then. Go on. GO.
What’s my job then? Backing them in the change that believe in. In the change that will improve their lives and give it purpose. It tougher than what is anticipated. But it will bring about greater joy in their lives. As I was telling one of them. Everyday what makes me go home happy. That we will do marketing history here? That we will do great work? That I will earn lots of money and incentive. NO. The bets feeling I go back with is that somehow I have impacted people’s mind in a positive way. That they will think better, that they will act better and that their careers will improve. They will learn to be better marketing chaps and have better careers than if I was not there.
Like my brother once reminded me of the parable of the boy who kept throwing back into the ocean, the starfish washed ashore. A passerby explained the futility of making a difference to the world by such small acts. To which the boy merely threw one more starfish and said – made a difference to that one.
I AM CHANGING THE WORLD. ONE AT A TIME. IN WHATEVER LIMITED ACOPE I HAVE. IN MY LIMITED CIRCLE. BUT I AM IMPACTING LIVES WHO IMPACT OTHERS. I sure hope he gives me strength and brains.
Today morning itself I read – man’s moral strength is far more than his physical limitations.

when genius is bored

Today I was listening to one of the world’s greatest chess players, Anatoly Karpov (link). It was a nice interview. One thing he said found resonance in my thinking. He said he was bad at theory of chess openings. While it was a bad thing for chess player, he also says that not knowing the theory helped him fight back at apparently losing causes, resulting in a quite a few successes. The reason he did not learn them too well… ‘it was boring’. Not quite the answer you expect from a grandmaster, a champion that ruled for ten years.
Was the era different? Is it that in today’s environment you cannot effectively compete if you aren’t ruthless? Possibly he got beaten by Kasporav precisely because of that. May be, may be not. I am not a chess expert to explain that detail.
but I guess I might be a bit of hypocrite here. I like to enjoy my game and play what I like and enjoy and avoid eth boring stuff, but as a spectator I don’t quite like to see a team that does not necessarily put up the best.
It puts me at an awkward junction as a parent. Jispa is currently learning a few sports. Being thin and naturally athletic she tends to outperform her peers. Hopefully she might end up being good at what she does. But I don’t know how to push her. My philosophy has been not to push hard. Sure I will insist discipline on training, eating and competing but I really don’t want to push her. Enjoying what you do is most important. Both jasmine and I are on the same page here. We keep asking her, if she really wants to continue any sport. Only on hearing an emphatic yes do we continue paying the fees.
As a kid I wasn’t too athletic or gifted in many ways. My brother was the natural. My dad was ok with me doing what I want. So while I started a few things I was lazy and never managed to stick around for too much to any thing. Largely my fault. I regret not doing, not pushing then. If had pushed my parents I might have done better. If my parents pushed me, I might have done better.
As a parent I realise that. So we try and give maximum opportunities for Jispa. We want to ensure that the platform is there. Once she takes the call to do it, we ensure that we don’t let her slack off. If you do it you do it well. But at the same time, I don’t want her to get bored with what she does. It is difficult to motivate yourself for all the hard work involved but also at the same time you have to enjoy what you do.
Motivation at the end must come from within. Hence what’s right is to ensure as a parent, I press the right buttons. She doesn’t have to do it for me, but I have to make her aware if she wants to do it or not. The consequences of her having and not having desire must be laid out to her. So the whole aim must be to kindle that motivation, to ensure it’s internal, to have values of hard work and acceptance nay enjoyment of the pain it gives. If I guess we manage to get that in, we are done.
So where does that leave Karpov’s comment? Can only a genius say that and get away with it? It worked 30 years ago, now is a different ball game? If I want to be good at my job I can’t be bored by it, if I am bored at it then I need to get a different job. But a different job is not that easy hence do the job and don’t get bored by it. Find challenges inside of it, no matter how mundane. Are these answers or questions.
It is a delicate balance between the two.
But clearly Karpov enjoyed what he did enough to not do the part of it that he got bored by. It’s an interesting situation to be in. and its not that he was bad at it, he probably knew that he could afford to get bored by a section of it.
At the end of the post I am not sure what to make of it. But it does leave me with room for thought.

selfish basterd

A good friend got married yesterday and I far exceeded the brief on helping the marriage get on smoothly. I took charge of the catering, driving the fellow around with three ridiculous bouquets on my car and lastly arranging for a sit down dinner for the family after the reception was done. Why did I do all this. I gave myself many explanations during the day. None too plausible, even to me. Today morning I realized why I did this. Do unto other what you expect them to do unto you. Actually it’s more like – don’t do to others what happened to you, try to do to others what you want people to do.
I got married at 23. Young enough to be a nobody with little support, zero ability and very few contacts. Many times in life I got myself a raw deal. I would have loved to be in a situation where I could have built up my box of good wishes to tide me through. I couldn’t even muster up a car to take me to the marriage hall.
I have a memory that records these many little wishes / incidents in my life. Add one more philosophy of not letting others go through what you have been through – there, you get the point. If we simply saw and understood stuff that we wanted, understood what made us happy or sad and implemented this, wouldn’t all of us be happier. I don’t know. I don’t care. It makes me happy and I find it as a release. Doing it, kind of removes a weight off my shoulders. I think I use it a scar removal therapy or something like that. So while everyone might see it as altruistic, I see it more like completely selfish and internally motivated. Hence I am also at unease if someone compliments me on my behavior. It’s not for you. It is selfish, highly so and decidedly so. So don’t compliment me and say good things about me. These are my motivations, my therapy and my release. Stay out it and please let me be. Another complicated one. I am in a weird mood. Potentially life altering :)

let no one tell you...

My blackberry camera has gone on the blink and I do feel quite handicapped without it. Its so much fun to spot something, capture and blog it. But I guess I will have to do something else till such time.
But the of the loss of the camera is replaced by the joy of discovering something awesome. http://www.ted.com/ . It is an awesome site where they put up talks of some amazing people for viewing. The best part is that talks are timed for about 16 minutes forcing people to talk on only what is absolutely relevant and important. It’s just about the time that human brain can focus.
Today I came across (serendipitous) a talk by Ben Saunders. I just love experts talking about their … err…“expertise”. Sports persons especially so. I guess it’s the visible triumph of human achievement. Cracking the genetic code might be of greater consequence or difficulty but a sports person’s achievement has more empathy as we all have felt our own limitations at our arena.
Coming back to Ben Saunders. In 2004, Ben Saunders became the youngest person ever to ski solo to the North Pole. An absolute triumph of human achievement. But the most striking part about the talk is the last bit when he talks about his school report card as a 13 year old. The report card is a telling on the understanding our education system. He says he has framed it and it lies on his wall. It says:

"Ben lacks sufficient impetus to achieve anything worthwhile"

Ben’s response to it:

“No one else is the authority on you potential. You are the only who decides how far you go and what you are capable of”

Well said Ben. Well said.

his talk...

further Ben reading...

on the shoulders of giants

We had an event on Tuesday. I had the priviledge of being the top dog at the event. So in other words I got the stupid job of bring the MC. I know I can do it, but normally I am too bored to do it. This time I had no such luck and was given the job. It went off pretty well. Two speakers stood out. Nandan Nilekani and Anil Kumble. I guess I am always a sucker for people talking about their experience as opposed to bookish management theories.
While I was too much in awe of Nandan to really ask him too much; and he was also surrounded all the time, with too many senior people. What really impresses me is the fact that Nandan being a business leader still is an academic in his approach and so different from other corporates. Most corporates just love to fart and hide behind their power point presentations. Nandan is precise and clear in his thought process.
Anil Kumble was also a revelation. He was outstanding as well. I got my two fundas clarified from him. First one – What the hell is a flipper. That’s the ball that got him wickets by the bagful. He explained the same to me. The other question was more serious (or was it the other way around). I had heard of this theory through two different sources. John Buchanan – the Australian team coach had said – you dont need to motivate someone to play in the Australian team. The fact that you are in the team and playing for Australia is motivation enough. The other time I read it is when Jim Collins wrote in his seminal book (I forget which one) that you shouldn’t need to motivate employees. You need employees who are self motivated. The role of the leader is to remove demotivating factors. I had liked this and believed in it. Give the employees an honest, open, fun and fair atmosphere and you are on. I don’t like motivating people or people who sit and sulk all the time waiting for external motivation. Itna time kisse ke pass nahin hai. I posed this to Anil. His response was that people are different. Motivation is not so much a problem but what the routine could get boring after a point in time. He said that if he came in everyday and was expected to do the same thing, bowl over after over and practice the same way, then it could get boring even for the athlete. He said in the tenure of John Wright, John brought in a lot of changes in way they practiced and brought in innovation and change. – that’s an interesting thought and with a bit of introspection I found it to be true. Sure employees need to be self motivated but it’s the job of the manager to ensure that it’s not boring over a period of time. Good point. Thanks Anil. I appreciate the thought. On another note he was gracious enough to ask for feedback, which I emailed to him and then he was even more gracious enough to reply back, thanking and accepting it. I am super impressed. Celebs are too irritating normally. Here is a level headed guy. It’s no wonder he was perhaps India’s best bowler.

My anniversary was on Monday. It was our tenth anniversary. Just a day before the most important event of the year, I was a bit busy and preoccupied. But I did manage to do something before. I gifted my wife a Swiss knife with her name engraved on one of the blades. That was a perfect anniversary gift!