summer funk

Oh darn its summertime. I hate the swimming pool in summers. These days every body want to hit the pool in the morning. It’s a bloody riot. First there are lots of slippers and only a few are in the rack. I understand kids not putting them in the rack but adults? then the changing room. Today all the hangars were taken. I was wondering how to hang my clothes. I almost thought I might have to fold them and place them on the rack. Not that it would have mattered much, but I have my office clothes on which I don’t really want to crumple up. Luckily one guy came out and took his clothes from the hangar allowing me the privilege. Till then I was looking at all the t shirts and shorts which were hanging there wondering if could just yank them off. You don’t really need to hang t shirts and shorts on hangars. As if they would crease up other wise.
Then I hit the pool. Man, there was no clear line to follow. I could see people in all the lanes. I so hate the way the guys who come regularly to swim and do that lazy and slow breast stroke. They don’t even need to breathe hard. I just see them bobbing up and down. Normally I never had an issue with it, but when these guys end up slowing up the lane its irritating. But its still ok… lets get progressively worse. Next on the line are the irritating women who will swim in the line that you have already taken off, and that too in the opposite direction. So a mid lane collision is imminent. In any case Matunga gym pool doesn’t follow lane discipline, but a little care and common sense would help. To day half way through I realised I was going to hit a boulder of a women and changed lanes. Luckily no one was coming from the opposite side. I try and set a route and pick a lane before I set off. Now I also look for potential women starting off. In fact now I even look for potential men starting off and switch lanes.
Today I managed to track one guy who was swimming properly and decided that the best strategy would be to follow him. I am a bit faster than most swimmers and hence need to give my self adequate distance before taking off, or else I might find myself getting kicked on the face.
The worst bit – the talking men. If I earlier thought that women can gossip, then the men take eth cake. They can talk on and on and on. They talk while showering, shouting across the shower cubicles. They talk outside the showers while in the bathroom while getting ready. Once I caught a pair talking while I came in and were still talking when I was walking out. In the changing room and in their swimming trunks. Wow. But that’s still ok. The irritating ones are the ones talking in the pool. They stand at the shallow end and talk and talk. On an empty winter day, sure enough, sit in your corner and yap away. But in summer when the pool is filled enough, get out of my way. Allow me place to stop and catch my breath. These guys haven’t figures the difference between the swimming pool and a Jacuzzi. Standing in the pool at eth shallow end for 15 minutes and talking. They talk shop, they talk ‘gossip’, they play match making. Everything we men blame women for. They are right there, talking. In the guise of exercise.
I miss the winter. Dark morning and cold waters. No one in the pool. Absolutely no one. I am swimming alone. The changing room is empty, the racks are free. Wow. I asked the attendant “till when will this traffic jam last?” “two months”. Man I cant wait for the rains to start. Good lazy mornings and people will want to stay in their beds. Thank god for small mercies.