growing growing ...

There is a lot of bull shit and child pschyology everywhere. I too believed in a lot of bull shit. There is only one truth. No one really knows anything. I have two three very close kids that I have seen up close and personal. Both these boys according to me have had not so great parenting. They should have been better read, better exposed and made to have sweat a little more. At least that was my egoistic view point. Both these boys have grown up to be amazing people. One nephew has become a boy that I like to talk with. I can converse, he understands and responds. Another boy took a job as a sales guy and by sheer hard work and persistence is climbing up the sales ladder. He takes charge of things in his hand and then attacks the work and gets it done. I like his drive and his dedication. I am impressed. Another hero grows up and reads and learns and grows well. Things change and they change fast.

I am now less and less worried about the real long term implications that we think are caused by our minute bits of parenting. I am sure  parenting makes a difference. Of course. A lot of fundamentals can get ingrained. Some dos and don’t get implanted but… they are also giving more importance than is due. So many kids fight their way on their own and mold their own destiny. I was asking Jasmine – “you know me since I was 15, haven’t I changed a lot?” Jasmine looked at me, thought for a bit and said “yes, you have”. People change. Circumstances force people to change. There are many ways to respond to change and in many ways ‘stressfull change’. Change is stressful and people don’t do it willingly, but people change. How many times can you get slapped for something? Life will keep slapping you again and again. After a point you stop making some mistakes, you grow up, you meet the Buddha in you and boom.. growing happens.

I love to able to talk to these kids. They teach me stuff I never knew. I understand much better when I chat with them and when I discuss with them. There is so much to learn. I understand their issues (I hope to), I get their perspective (again hope to) and I learn. Learning is forever constant and the best learnings are from those much younger to you or much older to you. The youth have so much to share and the old have so much to learn from.

But one thing is clear – I am learning form these guys only one thing. That no matter how much I know, I don’t know a thing. Things are different. Things change and people change. Possibly their cores remain constant. But you never know what the nuance of that core is. The way they exhibit some of that to you changes. And it could be just that little bit that changed it all as far as you are concerned. And when that happens – god only knows.