shit changes you

Over the weekend I went through two types of life changing events. Ok – too much drama. But they were experiences that would allow me to think through on issue sthat could potential change my thinking for a long time to come.

I took a few of my colleagues to design yatra. I am sure I would have blogged about this crazy amazing conference in the past. This is a place where I am a pretender in a place full of crazy designers and artists, I am a stand out stupid guy. I have no talents in this and I hope at best to at least appreciate the fact that there is beauty in what people do and value in art for art sake in whatever we do.

I am in the middle of being wooed by multiple people to join them. And I am thinking, should I leave, should I join something new, should I build on something I already have. Money is important but only so much. After a point its not about money but a chance to create something new and beautiful. Over the last few years I have come to the conclusion that marketing is a wasted field. What the world needs for now is product supremacy. It’s the product that needs to succeed. Product necessarily flow from great design. In our finance world where we don’t sell anything real or tangible (money is such an abstract concept). We need a serious reason for people to love our product. This is where design comes into place.

I have been thinking that wherever I go, as a next jump or wherever, whenever I am able to create my own little ecosystem, it will definitely be a place where I would want to build my team, have freedom to work, interact, get in amazing talent; fire idiots dragging the system and build a good place to work. If take up one more job at one more place, I would be building more of the same shit. New place, same shit, just a little more money. I want a lot more money but a chance to build something of real value.

Where I go they would want me to start asap, start showing results immideiately, and get cracking. Reality – it would take me a year to understand the product / problem and build a team that would then begin to start delivering. Then it would take me another year before we actually start to show results. Everyone wants an overnight sensation, not knowing how long it took to build it. Most overnight sensations are ten years in the making. Ten years.

So the design festival helped me realize and reinforce in my head my ideas of how great companies are actually built. By building great products that people want in the end. Today most of the big success stories that we see, and what most miss is that the products that were delivered were finger licking good. When they diverge from great design, shit creeps in and then all hell breaks loose. It’s funny that my company, group wide, has a marketing review, business reviews etc but no real product review. No really good well designed, lickable product customer interfaces and reviews. My super boss understands money but I am sure, he doesn’t understand what is meant by good looking and great interface products. The question for me is where do I build this expertise as decide my future course of action.

Cut to Mumbai. I fly in from Goa early morning to attend an AGM for Matunga Gymkhana. It was public lynching at its best. We haven’t learnt from history that democracy can give rise to the worst of dictators. Hitler was a democratically elected despot.  In an AGM the person who can shout the loudest and incite crowds can sway the opinion. In a democracy there is the tyranny of the majority which can be used to suppress a saner but quieter opinion. That is exactly what happened. Logic and anything be damned. Louder voices ruled.

I was wondering what happened. I was quiet throughout, unlike my natural self. I only spoke once and I thought I made sense and I spoke for the greater good. People understood and the stupid conversation and fighting stopped on that one point. But then the asst. secretary opened his mouth, once again and then all hell broke loose. Every time he opened his mouth the meeting would extend by another 40 minutes.

But today after good introspection, I realized that even silence has a role. If I had opened my mouth and be drawn into these issues I wouldn’t have been able to see this game. I wouldn’t have been able to see how the few manipulate the large. It is a well thought of strategy relying on rhetoric and oratory. It is mind numbing how the majority are swayed by this. I too have been guilty of this in the past. I have been swayed without the understanding of consequences.

Real life is difficult, complicated and not without consequences. Most of which are unintended. The process of democracy is slow and painful and we must protect it at all costs.

I wanted to resign, I drafted the mail and sent it to my friend. I haven’t yet sent it to the gymkhana. But I think… should I or should I not be the lone voice of sanity and be there and grind it out or should I get out and focus on new things. The learnings are tremendous but I have to hold in my natural instincts and reign in initial response. I would need to be measured and studied. That is the right way to play the game. Let me think.

Who knew that a weekend in variety would prove to be enough food for thought, my friend.