grow more

On Wednesday, I come home at night and I find Jasmine asleep and Jispa awake. Jasmine was in a bad mood thanks to me and Jispa and me were blaming each other. Your fault your fault. Then she asks me – has mom spoken to you. “no, of course not. She is pissed with me”. Jispa was referring to a specific conversation. But no. Jasmine had no conversation with me on anything. “ok, don’t freak out..” she said. While I was eating my dinner, my ears perked up. Now what happened? Normally this is a sign that some shit hit the roof. Breathing in I brace myself to hear some really bad news. She continues “I am like going out with a guy”.

Well it was about time. She found a guy to hang out with. My baby is in a relationship. Infinitely small, and just starting out. But well, she is in one and she choose to tell us about it, on the day it commenced. What more can a father ask for.

I always wondered how would I really react when I find out. I always thought that I would be pretty cool about it and stuff. According to me, I was prepared about this from the day she was born. I had my first relationship (jasmine) from the age of 15, and my kid is 17. So that’s makes it two years too late.

So how did I react. I put on my nonchalant face and said cool. I asked about the boy and stuff and I had a father daughter conversation about relationships.

Relationships are starkly different from my generation to this one. My generation was for keeps. You got into one and you stayed there for long, really long. Early on, the commitment to make things work was always there. It was right for its time I guess. Today I would be surprised to see any relationship last the way Jasmine and mine lasted. I don’t expect it to.

I reminded Jispa of a scene in a movie ‘dear zindagi’ where the protagonist asks her shrink if its ok to have so many relationships. The shrink talks about buying a chair. And he talks about trying various chairs before buying. See this video.

At end of the conversation. I felt nice about myself. I think I reacted pretty decently for a dad. I definitely didn’t freak out.

In the two days that have passed besides feeling nice about myself I have been feeling that my daughter has grown up. Is it her features or is it the way she speaks or just that now she entered a different phase of her life that makes me think differently? I wonder.