revolution

Over the weekend, one evening we went to the Chembur house to check on the progress made. After which Jasmine, Jispa and me went for a walk around the place. After staying for 11 years in the relative obscurity of Bhakti Park, where there is nothing, no civilization for 5 kms around, Chembur feels very different. We walked around to find medical shops, many medical shops, restaurants, sugar cane juice sellers, shops selling clothes, underwear, mobiles, mobile repair centres, hotels, sports shops, vegetable markets, everything within walking distance of the home.

We are still coming to grips with this change in paradigm. Everything is so close. We have grown as a family living in Bhakti Park. The only thing that is going for Bhakti Park is that it has a massive Imax theatre in its vicinity. Rest, many years ago we had to buy a second car  to ensure that Jasmine and me could both get anywhere. I distinctly remember struggling to get a taxi in the morning to drop Jispa at her bus stop. Of course the place has improved but still, the basics of modern urban dense living, which we take for granted is still missing from the place.

I took them walking along showing them the place and getting them to understand the map. Where is which shop, where are the markets and where all can you go for basic services? Our house is very close to the station and that’s why access to all the services at a stone’s throw is possible. And being set inside from the main street, the place is also quiet and just about 100 meters away from the hustle. All in all its an experience.

While walking around we almost reached Ghatkopar and we then turned back. One of things that I think I have missed while I was in Bhakti Park was the ability to walk around. And once I did walk around in Chembur, I realized what had happened to Mumbai. It’s become a polluted shitty place. In the last ten years, the pollution levels have gone through the roof. In and around my place in Chembur was still bearable, but moment you hit a slightly more busy road the pollution hits your face. Now I realized why I probably will prefer a mall. You get off from your house, get into an AC car and get into the Ac mall. You live the cocoon of air conditioning with filters on. You don’t feel the pollution. That is to be felt by the poor and the voiceless. I really think that the poor in India have been shortchanged by Democracy.

The pollution is really bad, the trains are crowded, the bus service erratic, the pollution levels dismal, and the broadly – they will stay in the same dirty quarters with no real access to sanitation. It a freaking amazing thing that civil war hasn’t yet started in the city. Yes, all this while walking around a city with idle time on hand. How can so much inequality survive? Raising taxes and giving sops to the poor is not the answer. Having good governance at a city level is the right answer. Giving homes to people to stay respectfully, giving them commute that is efficient and works for them, cleaning up the air, water etc; these are answers. They don’t require more taxes, more sops; they require an iron will. They don’t require more laws, they require more follow up on the existing laws. Post-independence the generation just rotted and created a system that we are now going to bear. If that generation of governance created a good model, then we would have been able to live better. One man in Singapore changed the lives of its people in one generation. One generation.

Mumbai collects enough taxes that it need not even dip into reserves. Most of the budgetary outlaw remains unutilized. I talk to different people to realize that staying in Mumbai is prohibitively expensive. There is enough land stuck in government land banks and red tape. If only…

But its ok – let’s all sit in our ac environment and relax at ease. I am going to stay on the 13^th floor, far away from the noise the street generates, especially the rickshaws. I have ACs in all rooms. A remote switch away. I have applied for membership in the gymkhana next door. So now government land that was given away for promotion of sporting culture is enjoyed by an elite few who take membership to it at exorbitant rates. We will shut out normal people from enjoying these services. We have rich fat kids playing sports in a closed isolated loop amongst themselves, forgetting that the point of a facility is that it be used. We will keep the facility unused during off hours, rather than promote the sport for more people to come and play, raising the standards for everyone. No.

We like staying in our secluded ac environments. I have built the perfect nest for Jispa. The perfect nest. Who am I to complain? I made most of my money by dancing at the temple of capitalism – in a stock broking firm within a privately owned bank. Why should I lecture to anyone on this? Well I am not… I am writing a private blog available only to specific people who know. Someday the socialist in me will meet the capitalist in me and then I want singularity to happen. That answer is in between these two views without a thirst for power. Which means – impossible.

But hell, I am still 42. There is time for me in this world. Probably when I retire, I can busy myself with public life. Doing things that are right for the society. Trying to uplift people the right way; by empowering them to lift themselves out. But for now, that is a pipe dream. Just a good thought that comes from the heart. Heart is normally never the problem. It always is the mind and the intention that is an issue. I hope that I will be able to do good work in life. I hope I will be able to contribute more to society in a way that’s lasting. Possibly that is my way of telling myself that I am a great guy and that my current rate of shittyness is just an aberration where I have temporarily sold my soul to fund my immediate survival. Heart in heart – this is what I choose as important. And hence society service is not on my mind. Full stop. I have forgotten the socialism ideals or even the stupid left leaning ideals of youth.

Only Capitalism and private enterprise can lift masses of people out of poverty. Nothing else. So sitting in office and working at the capitalist temples is actually a service to mankind. While doing so a very simple thing of caring deeply for consumers, allowing them to choose the right products and treating your vendors and colleagues fairly is good enough society work. At home, following basic society rules and working harmoniously with all is service to society. Simple human interactions and work done with simple ideals of collective good that appeal to selfish interests – that is how civil society progresses.

Also when the time comes and the conditions manifest themselves in a way that you will find yourself in a situation where you will raise your hand, raise your body and defy odds and change or refuse to accept what is present. Revolution rarely comes from a rebel looking for it. It comes from unlikely simple people doing simple things because that’s what they think is right. This then sets them up on a path to doing bigger and better things for everyone.

So my revolution will come someday. I always wanted to be a fire brand revolutionary. It’s funny when I look back at myself. Within my confines of my office desk, I show signs of this red (or orange or green) bandana wearing bearded fire breathing revolutionary. Pushing through agendas, others find difficult to see, digest or swallow. That’s my little victory in the sellout. Little joy in massive narrow bouts of aggression. I don’t know if this aggression will kill me, but it’s helped me live.

what next

It’s funny how I am seeing myself age. Life priorities change. Your vision for the future changes. You start thinking about surviving peacefully as opposed to do lots of crazy things. It’s amusing for me to see how my mental model is changing as I grow older. When I shifted into this current house 10 years ago I had limited budget and lots of dreams and a world view that said – we will figure. Right now let’s focus on what’s important and build that.

So thanks to the small family that we were (we still are, I guess), we created a small house. We had almost no furniture and two cupboards and one bed. We spent the most, 60 thousand bucks, on the kitchen and made a small house for the small aspirations that we had. The idea was simple, we will figure as we go along the way. Slowly as we progressed as family, we did more renovations in the house. We got it painted, we added a dining table, a TV, we extended the house a bit, we got arm chairs and more cupboards. It was a lovely beautiful experience in building the home over ten years. I would give that up for anything. I really remember how small and cute and minimal the house was.

When we had money we bought a gymkhana membership. That too was bought with a sole intention of growing up with the gymkhana life with Jispa. She would do something, like swimming or badminton or tennis or something. It was an important and significant purchase for us.

Now after 11 years, as old as this blog, we have decided to move to our new Chembur house. This is a two bedroom kitchen and this is being done with a different mindset. Now we are doing up the house with a lot of focus on how it will be the same for a long time to come. We don’t have the attitude that we will figure. Let’s move into a nice home with all the amenities and the furniture sorted. So let’s have all cupboards, let’s have Jispa’s room sorted, let’s have the hall sorted, lets buy the right appliances, everything. Now the focus is not on the journey but to be that the destination has arrived.

I realize that at 42, possibly, just possibly, this is the house that I am likely to retire in and die in. I will not be able to remodel this again and again. Most of what we want should be done and made. So we are using good carpentry and good material for the home. Things that should last us for a long time. Now is the time that we are not looking for change but for permanence. So now what all can I invest in so that it will last a long time.

Next to the Chembur house is a gymkhana – Chembur Gymkahana. Jasmine and I were discussing the gymkhana membership and I urged her to come with me and see it. We liked what we saw and we saw that this looked affordable. But we have one membership, didn’t we? My argument to her is simple. We are likely to retire here as empty nesters when Jispa goes away. We are going to be oldies with little to do and lots of time and less income generating capacity. What will you do then? You will go to the gym and walk, go for swim, try and play a game or two and sit with your friends in a gymkhana. I am not even sure as we grow older if we will have the ability to drive up to Matunga gym and worse, you don’t want to waste money going there. I don’t know. But when you have this gymkhana sitting right here waiting for you to just hop inside, then that’s the ideal thing for the idle oldie.

Possibly when you are retired gymkhana politics or service, handling the affairs of the gymkhana is also something that you can do. Retired people work best as secretaries of housing societies and Gymkhanas where they spend their time doing honorary service, feel important and spend their time. It requires experience tact and time, which is what an old person would have. Hah. So we are now considering buying the membership for no other reason except – old age.

It’s a far cry from the action oriented unbrindled optimism of ten years back. Want to do something, want to live for the present, want to figure things out as they come. Now it’s a way to do least harm. I play with my knee in mind, with my back in mind, with a simple thing that tells me to manage myself or I going to be in trouble. I remember that my dad was only 45 years old when he got his first heart attack. I am 42. My immediate next goal – survive the next 3 years without too many issues. The fun bit of marrying early is that by the time I am 45, my daughter will be 18. I was 10 when my dad got his first attack. Hopefully first milestone will pass soon enough, without too much stress.

So that’s my ikigai for now – I am trying to create my ikigai when I won’t have any ikigais. That’s an interesting new time for me. Lets see.