continue the experiments

The fast on Friday held true. I think you get hungry only if you think about food else it really does not matter I guess. One day is hardly anything. When I am fully loaded and well fed I weigh 71 kgs and the morning after the fast on an empty stomach I weigh 68 kgs. 3 kgs of shit. I didn’t know that! Now I know. Passing through the popcorn aisles was a little wired on the stomach though. But I really liked the experience. I hope I am able to fast once a year. Also one day I want to know what it is to fast for 8 days. It’s also enlightening to know what the brain makes you think. It tells you – forget it. Eat now. You know you can fast, whom are you proving to. Then I am fighting back saying – I have only my self to prove to. NO I am not eating. I can hold it off for sure. I hate to believe that i cannot control the brain!

I watched three movies over the weekend. Mumbai Meri Jaan on Friday, ‘Rock on’ on Saturday and Wall E on Sunday. I loved all of them. Very rare to see three movies in three days and to like all of them. I don’t why but Wall E was one that I particularly liked. These days the a few of the last Disney animations were boring me. Wall E was different. It hardly felt like animation. They could make robots act! Very very cool. Unsaid emotions. Hardly a dialogue but a lots of emotion.

It was Jispa’s birthday on Sunday. Poor kid was a little upset that she could not celebrate with her friends. Her friends were also celebrating paryushan and could not be a part of her day. We tried our best to cheer her. It was her day where she decided what she wanted to do. For some reason she likes going to the zoo. She must have been there some zillion ties already but she never bores. I guess a zoo is special in a child’s life.

We were singing a song from the movie ‘rock on’. It goes something like – yeh pani gila kyun hai. As in – why is the water wet. When she turns around and asks me – papa, why is the water wet? Oh ok – I don’t know – ask Google. So we have written on her whiteboard all the questions she wants to ask. The second one was on the magnets. The third on – you decipher and tell me. It’s in her cryptic language I guess. Actually its just her short form.

The third question is - When do apples grow? the first drawing is 'apple'. the second drawing represents 'growing'. The third is a string of Alphabtes representing - guess guess... go on try it - ok - they represent the first alphabets of the calendar months. translation - when do apples grow? or In which months do apples grow? or in which season do apples grow.

We went to Mahalaxmi temple after a long long time. During our courtship Jasmine and me went more number of times. We asked for a lot form God. I did for sure. It’s been some time that I have asked for some thing from God, except strength and intelligence. I keep trying to inculcate the same in Jispa. Don’t bribe God.


Yesterday I proved to myself that I have some of my dad’s genes. I drive to the railway station and park my car and collect it in the evening. Yesterday while returning I normally cross a small desolate patch. The road’s been recently done and its used by trucks a lot. The gutter’s on the road create hollows. So some good guys I think put stones on the gutter so that motorists are adequately warned. The stones must have broken by the number of trucks going over it and were all over the road. Yesterday for some reason the street lights were off as well. I saw bike coming straight in, hitting a stone and falling over. I got off. The guys was fine, some other guys on the road helped him up. But I felt something. I kept my dad in mind and I picked up all the stones on the road and dumped them at the side. It took some doing. But I felt nice to do it. I hope I did my father proud. He was a nice guy, true, helpful and straight. He would have done it. I did it.

Experimenting with hunger

I am always trying to experiment with new ideas and new theories. This week the jain festival of prayushan is on. This is the week of fasting and praying by all Jains. I have never really fasted this week. Not that I am too ritualistic in any case. I don’t go too often to temples in any case. So it’s never been a festival for me to be a part of. I don’t even know my prayers beyond the first para. :)
But last time I decided to fast one whole day. In Jainism fasting is a much rigorous than others. You can only drink water in a fast. And you can only eat the next day. Last time was nice. I could get through it easily. The last few hours were fun.
I have started fasting again today. It amazing how one looks at food when you are fasting. The chips look tasty, the bread looks tasty etc etc. Without realizing one gets drawn towards food. I already put in a little Prasad (sweet laddu) and a cracker in without thinking. I realized it only later. But that’s good. Its teaching me a thing or two about being hungry. I have to drink more water. Right now I am feeling funny. And its only 11.21 am. Lets see how the day progresses.
The key is to keep busy and drink tons of water.

12.22 – one hour hence – busy so not been hungry!

1.28 –its lunch time. The hungrier I get the more resolute I become.

Afternoon – Hungry hungry hungry. I see fruit plates roaming around looking tempting. Biscuits never felt so aromatic. Hehehehe . It’s pretty tough. I have a numb throbbing feeling in my head. Not too bad though. The growl in the stomach is louder than anything else I get. An empty stomach heightens all the rest of the senses.

I am leaving office. Lets see how the evening pans out.

thats a fast one

We are jains but I am a little bit of a radical. Yah sure I believ in god and some super human power but going to temples for prayer is not my scene. The mega jain festival – paryushan is on. The seven days of fasting and I assume austerity is on. But there is nothing austere about it. It’s as in your face richness and silkiness (paradoxically for Jainism) as any other hindu festival. The temple is decorated with lights and pandals. Women and men roam around in their finest marriage finery with goady jewelry. People moving form one temple to another, form one golden idol to another. The orgy of flowers decorating is so sickening. The power of context is at its bets here. I would loved ot see flower décor but to see it in all splendor at a Jain temple is somewhat a bad idea. We gloss over the very principles we are celebrating. I even remember having a fight with my mom for letting me and Jasmine watch a movie during this stupid carnage festival. She said that its not right and you must not go, and for the hell of me I could not figure out why? I love Jainism but I hate the Jains!

I normally won’t even know when the festival is approaching. Tomorrow is the last day and if somebody would have told me that I would be fasting, I would laughed my head off. But wonders never cease. I for some whacked off reason have decided to fast today. I don’t know why the thought popped into my head but no food today only water. There is definitely no religious belief – DEFINITELY NOT, but I wanted to know what it is to fast for a day. How does the body react, how does one feel, what is the meaning of craving. One can read tomes on hunger but one has to feel it to understand it. I remember I used to try and do some fasting as a kid. I remember giving it up at night and having food. How would I feel today? It’s a normal day as ever. I accidentally popped a small ginger chip in today, so I have definitely missed the religious angle. I have always believed on learning something new regularly, doing something new, something else. This defines us and shapes us as we go along. One more learning, one more step. Right now it’s fun to feel the stomach grumbling, making weird noises, asking for food. Good cleansing for the system. A bit of detoxification never hurt too many.