brain wash?

This weekend Jispa went for a birthday party. It wasn't actually a party. Just a get together of close friends for some time out. Most of the time, when these girls get together, we parents wonder what they do behind closed doors. The door has to be closed with them in a room, when they are having a ‘party’. Whenever any adult opens the door, the only thing they see is that the girls are on mobile phones. Either they are together on one or they are on their own individual ones - but the point remains the same. They come together only to be in their own world. the parents go nuts on this.

I am beginning to understand this as a reality and that this will happen. There is no force as stronger than the mobile screen with an internet connection. This will rule and the kids will move in that direction. I wonder when we mean irritating parents will give Jispa a mobile phone. Currently at these parties she takes the iPod and does her thing on it. My individual opinion is that it must be allowed and how long can we really resist it. Soon we will lose sight of our daughters face and we will only recognize it by the mobile cover, whose back we will see at all times.

So yesterday, Jasmine at the dinner table remarked “yesterday, Jispa went for a birthday party. She did not have a gift or a greeting card or anything in her hand. She just went on her own”. I looked like i couldn't care less. I think parties and birthday greetings are a complete waste of everything! “then Jispa said” Jasmine continued “that she will post something to her on her birthday”. I was like fat chance. Jispa was not going to post any greeting card or anything. I am sure there is no way Jispa will mail a card to her friend or write a letter/ greeting. Then Jasmine and Jispa looked at me. POST does not mean POST as I understood it. Jispa would “POST” something on the Instagram feed! WTF. POST. I feel like a complete loser. Whats the point being a marketing head who claim to fame is digital integration, if he does not even understand what ‘POST’ signify. Sees.

Then then conversation soon moved to something else and Jispa was talking about what a ‘taaweez’ was. She said that basically its a prayer that you write and wear it on your body. Yes, muslims have this tradition of wearing a taaweez. I had seen a student of mine wear one around her hand. I think, I am not sure, but its a sufi kind of thing. Even non muslims wear this. then she asked even if ‘raksha potlis” have a prayer. Rakshapotlis are the jain version of the taaweez. They are red threads along which a little red cloth is tied. I never did know what they contained. Jispa asked if its a prayer. I said, for sure its not… I have opened one and it doesn't contain a prayer for sure. Its just little red cloth tied on a red string.

A quick online search tells me that it contains some holy ash (i didn't know jains had special reverence for fire) and that is put along with special chanting of prayers to the red cloth and then made into a rakshapotli. 

The I told her that as a kid, i really believed in the power of a rakhsapotli. I thought it would protect me and save me from a lot of things. I thought that it held special powers and that God would be on my side. She looked at me and remarked “you were such a brainwashed kid, weren't you”. Jasmine and me practically choked on our food. “Jispa you have no clue. We have purposely not taught you religion else you would have been brain washed ourselves. Its lucky for you that we have unwashed our head from all this brain wash.” Jispa disagreed. She said most of her friends in class are non believers and don’t believe in all this. I don't think the number is as high as 50%, but i grant her that. When i bought about he remark, I guess it possibly is true.  A lot more would be non believers today than what would have been when i was younger. Possibly today life is mare more practical and scientific. Slowly as we see economies growing and people getting educated with science and math, practicalities and scientific temper should pave the way for a less religion society. Its possibly a natural evolution. First as you are poor, you are too poor for religion. Then you are poor enough to understand religion and that some mystery will guide you. Then you become richer and you keep your kids rooted to religion and then as kids take their life’s predictability for granted they slowly understand that religion was not responsible for it and slowly - this mix of science and predictability brings about a non belief. So economic status brings about predictable life, which brings about change in belief. Thats one theory I guess.

So yes, we were brain washed as kids. I did believe in divinity and that it could help me someday over come the power of the forces around me. It took enough of shit and set back to understand that you are responsible for your own shit creek. The more you look inside of you, the better it will be for you. God may be an external force to focus upon and rely upon to make sense of a world . Fatalistic behavior may help you reconcile with your externalities but I don't think divinity helps. You decide your own path, your own morals and your own lines and boundaries. Hopefully you don't harm too many people along the way. As long as you only kill dogmas you should be good!

yo!

just as an aside - here is one trailer that we saw and now Jispa and us want to see the movie 

I love the trailer - with the voice of Kaa being the lead voice of the trailer. Wow… I am queuing up for this one.

Its a nice thing that Jispa like the super hero movies, like Avengers and X man. With new scripts and amazing special effects these are movies worth waiting for and watching on the big screen!

Finally!

a moral compass

Religion divides more than it unites. It gives a sense of identity but at the same time it also uses the identity to group and pit one against the other. I am sick and tired of religion and culture being used as benchmarks for anything. I have learnt to abhor religion but funnily not yet abhor God. Also my belief has been to look inward and seek strength than to ask God for help. Hoping that God will somehow materialize and work his mircales is something I have learnt not to trust. Put faith in your hands and your thoughts and your deeds.

Oops – what with the sudden burst of philosophy. Well nothing really. Today I heard a podcast that spoke about the pope and how he was not too happy with this unchecked market economy of sorts.

When I was growing up I was a curious mix of a religious guy and a leftist. Poverty and hunger were essentially state subjects and could be solved by taking the money from the rich and redistributing it to the poor. Why should there be poverty. Can the state just simply redistribute it? Over the years I moved from left to a free market believer. And at the same time I moved from being a religious person to an agnostic. The transformation was complete. But at heart I remained a person still moved by problems of the world. I refused to accept the simple notion that people are poor because they have taken those choices in life. I would agree that in Mumbai city no one can really be poor and a complete destitute.  They is no reason to beg on the road. There is enough work in Mumbai for people who are ready to work hard. But that is a simplistic view. While they may be marginalized, there is no reason for letting them come out. The idea – in words of Jeffery Sachs is to give them a ladder. Then it is up to to them to climb out of it. I don’t believe in dole but I do believe in an infrastructure whether it is social or economic or even physical (roads rail etc). and these cannot be dictated by free market but by the power of common good.

I keep thinking. I don’t give money away to charity. I don’t trust any of these characters. I don’t believe in them. So what do I do. I know that I want to give my time and attention at the end ot something meaningful but I guess my form of charity is simply teaching those around me. Guiding them, talking to them and trying to build a happier planet – one person, one interaction at a time.

So, I believe in what I think the point the Pope is trying to tell. Free markets with no moral compass is a dangerous thing. where Only the fittest survive, we don’t give a chance or care a dam about the others. In the long run – it will create an oligopoly and the concentration of the haves will lord over the have nots in an unfettered sort of way.

Bah! But why is all this so important? Why am I thinking about it. I have always wondered where my moral compass has come from? I believe that a lot of it may have come from religion driven ethics and morals. I don’t think would have been a vegetarian if not for the fact that I was born in a Jain household. That’s the simplest example. So while I can have a source of morality (whatever form or manner), I wonder what happens to Jispa when she grows up. Even the Buddhists sects realized that a simple idea of Buddha understood as a thought and not a figure was tough and then migrated to an image of Him and in many ways worshipped him. Same so with Jainism. The god Mahavir verus The God Mahavir has been an undercurrent theme that I see in those around me. We deify a saint more than take home his principals. But then would I have been able to understand those teachings without the accompanying rituals. It’s a question I may never be able to answer.

But with Jispa we will know when she grows up. She knows no prayer and she knows almost no God. We have no image of him at home and we don’t pray not believe in rituals. We silently stay out of rituals that we are called for. So when she grows up she will have to have a moral compass that is her own. That is possibly from her parents and surroundings – school, peers etc. it will not be out of fear of God or for greater good in the next life. She will be what she is because she will choose it for herself.

Well it does sound good when I write it down like this. but the risk of not having a moral compass just because your parents were too anal about religion is a bit of a bummer. But yes. Jasmine and I still have faith in this approach. Be yourself. Be what you want to be not because of dogmas but because of your choices and your decisions. Let the wisdom passé don from centuries only be your reference for learning and listening. But do your own bit. And least of all – religion is meant to liberate not restrict. Liberate? – once it gives you a moral compass – you then free to do what you wish. Like I once blogged in the past. When you restrict a certain opportunity to yourself you are in effect giving yourself the freedom to do what you want to. The only question is where is that moral compass coming from and how seriously are you taking it. It is only a liberator not a restrictor. If it restricting – then throw it.

Just for the record – the Freaknomics podcast  - though I never figured that I may agree with the Pope (or least see his point of view - in some angular sort of way. though this Pope Francis seems to be an interesting character.

you can get his EVANGELII GAUDIUM here: though to make sense of it you may want to read some other sources.  http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/francesco/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_esortazione-ap_20131124_evangelii-gaudium_en.html

read here http://world.time.com/2013/11/26/pope-francis-denounces-idolatry-of-money-and-tyranny-of-capitalism/

Lord almighty!

Man. God is in fashion. Real fashion. Many years ago I had been to Trambakeshwar and I remember it being a sleepy town and a sleepy temple. But last week I went there to be confronted with a three hour queue. Dam it, the architecture wasn’t even cool enough for me to wait in that line. And I am not too keen on worshipping stone. The queue outside the complex looked innocuous enough and we stood for an hour to get in to be faced with a long winding queue inside. Jasmine and I wanted out, but our friend and his wife wanted to stay. We would waited outside if not for Jispa who wanted to stay. Dam you Jispa. So we stayed on a snaking queue which was 22 lanes long. Another two hours. Very painful.
Only one way in and one way out. High metal bars so that people don’t jump the queue. Railings in the middle so that people don’t squeeze in thru the bars. Luckily there was a roof overhead and a few fans, but overall it was bloody tiring and hot. Here is a picture of Jispa waiting in the queue. I feel like cattle being herded in. Why do we mistreat our people thus? The people have no bloody option. There are only twelve special Shiva temples – the 12 jyotirlingas and if you want divine intervention you have to go in and pray there. After waiting for 12 hours, you get only 2 seconds in front of the deity with the ushers constantly pushing you out of there. The whole point of the 3 hour wait is to get an audience with God. To tell him I was there, that I waited. And my friends were very happy. They managed to get the Prasad that they had bought through to the God. The priest took their packet and touched it to the deity and gave it back to them. Awesome for them!
I got out of there and sat behind. Jispa came along and I explained to her; if enough people believe it, even a piece of stone can become a God. But I guess it works both ways. To me the lines show me that there is no God inside. This is pure delirium. To the others, the presence of this line might only ratify that there is not only a God in there, but a huge powerful God with boon granting facilities.
Its amazing how many people come in and follow rituals, how many try and beat the line, how many push and pull, how their tempers flare. How badly is the pilgrim treated? All this must an integral part of pilgrimage. Here is the photo of the line in which we stood. Its stupid and chaotic.



And if you think India is shining and that India is improving, one just has to look at the loo facilities provided. The common loo outside was a really bad place. It was dirty, dark, dingy and never cleaned. Luckily Jasmine had a scarf which she first gave me. I wrapped it around my face to get in. There was no way I could have held my breath for that long. In many loos in India we have suddenly understood that we can start charging money, but hell, we just understood that. We did not understand that after charging we must ensure hygiene and cleanliness.
Sacerdotal intercession. The belief that we need a conduit to get to God. The all-powerful Pandit in this case. He has a vested interest in keeping you insecure, in making you explain that all you need is a mantra or a ritual to set you free from the encumbrances in your way. I am lucky. I consider myself very lucky, I soon realized the fallacy in believing in this. I refused many years ago to believe in it. My mom and dad were practical about this yet we did go all over India to different places of religious interest, stood in lines, prayed and performed poojas. I think, like most others, we too were confused Jains. Fundamentally you can’t have the Jain and the Hindu faith intermingling in your mind. The Jain faith is about a way of life, a kind of athesism that says that the answer lies in living your life in a certain way. To give up desire and greed. The Hindu faith has pandits, who can help you. In Jainism there are monks who can only explain the path to you. But to my parents and to so many others I saw, it was all confusing. I like the way we called ourselves Hindu. Forget that – I love the way Shiva is a Hindu God when it seems there is no mention of him in the vedas. It seems he was a probably a tribal God of fertility or something that got well integrated into Hinduism. So many don’t even realize that the lingam in which form the God is worshipped is actually considered by many as a phallus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lingam) and it stands on the female organ. Of course there are numerous interpretations but people do worship blindly without knowing or understanding these concept as well.
But there is a line – a queue outside that is three hours long. And I dam it stood in it. Ok. In hindsight it was probably a smart decision. I don’t know what Jasmine and I would have done outside the temple complex for two hours in the heat. It isn’t like there is a café there to hang out in. no proper restaurants and like all Hindu towns, there are lots of cow, which produce copious amounts of cow dung. So the line was good. As the devout would say – you were there because God called you in there to witness his star presence. It was only willed by him. Cool. Thanks God. Was worth every penny. Just forgive me if I don’t do it again.

what a fun day!

I hate these song and dance shows. They are such a pain to sit through. Whether it’s live or on TV. Same predictable routine and honestly bad scripts. I would much rather go for a play, preferably a light hearted play. Very few are able to deliver a really strong play with a serious message. So the worst form of torture is to go for a play where in you are there purely for reasons of friendship. I am acting in a play, can you please come. Oh man!
In the first few years Jispa’s school annual function were very interesting with me being mesmerised with the scale and the production. It was nowhere what I saw in my school. As the glitz wore off, I started getting bored thanks to the absence of a strong story or plot or anything except songs and dance. You wait eagerly till your own kid comes in and shows her face in a crowd for a 30 second insignificant role and then out. Then it’s back to boredom. I dunno how to wiggle out of this complete utter torture.
Then the next on my list of anathemas is religious propaganda and anything that comes close to sermon. It is dam painful. I am sure some of them are pretty smart people and I am sure one can learn from anything, but sitting through it is a bloody pain. So in spite of quite a few offers I have chosen to stay away from these. These offers are definitely well meaning but I think they are best avoided. Possibly my arrogance will not permit me to attend these sessions.
So I hate shows and I hate religious preaching.
Last Sunday I found myself stuck with the frying pot and the fire. Together. I was attending a song and dance show about Jainism. Aarghhh. How do I get myself stuck in these situations, I also don’t know. One of friends had produced and starred in this with her daughter. Great. They requested us all to come in. great. I said no and no one really expected me to say yes. Great. So till Saturday there wasn’t a ticket for me as well. I had happily wiggled out of this and was planning to spend the morning relaxed in my house reading a good book. The book I was reading “switch” was also quite interesting. Till one of jasmine’s friends backed out leaving jasmine with an extra ticket. NO NO. Are you comng? NO. You sure? YA! Come nah! Awww, no. please. Ok don’t come if you don’t want to. Shit… ok… I am coming. No it’s ok. I am coming. IT all right, don’t come if it’s too bad. I AM COMING!
So I land up at this hall where there is concert going on extolling the events that lead up to the birth of Bhagwan Shri Mahavir. Using song dance, drama and stage, props and stuff. What I realised that there is an interesting mix of Hinduism in the way we seem to be practising Jainism today. What I understand of Jainism is that the Gods aren’t the Gods of Hinduism. The 24 thirthankaras aren’t Gods in that sense. They are enlightened beings. We go to temples not to pray to them and ask for deliverance. We go to the temple (supposed to at least) to look at them and be inspired to let go / or modify behaviour. I once heard the dalai lama and he said, jokingly, that Jainism and Buddhism are forms of atheism. What I understand is that there are no gods in Jainism and there seems to be no point in praying to them and celebrating them as Hinduism does. I read somewhere that when Hinduism was threatened by Buddhism, they conveniently included Buddha as one of the dus avataars. In many murals I have seen Balram as one of the Avataars, who seems to have been unceremoniously dumped for reasons of politics in today’s top ten compilations. During some bits of the play I heard references to the Brahaminical order, with Kshatriyas and Brahamins making their appearances. Now that I look at it, a lot of Jainism rites that I look at today and the way I thought Jainism was and the way I see people practice it, it is actually a form of hindusim. We pray to these Gods, we celebrate them, we give them exalted powers and status. Al the pomp and glory of Hinduism is there. I find it funny when the God in question is who he is because, he gave up all this pomp and splendour, he extolled the virtues of less, of sacrifice, of giving up, of simplicity and virtue.
Hindusim has survived by adapting and managing smartly. By integrating everything into its fold. As a kid I always thought that Jainism is a form of Hinduism. I thought of us as Hindus. How could we be? It is as much a part of Hinduism as Islam is. At least to my mind. Hindusim managed to integrate tribal religion (Shiva), Jainism, Bhuddism and everything else at reached our shores except Islam and Christanity amongst the major religions. It also changed in the bargain from vedic worship to idol worship.
I am sure that there are many flaws in my argument that the critic can argue with. But the fundamental point was that, that day, Jainism was not being worshipped in its original form. But hey, I don’t care. Religions must change with the people. It is finally a product of people’s imagination. It is of the people, by the people and for the people. If it does not change and is held together by dogmas, it will cease to exist. It must bring a lot within its fold. The fun is when the right winged zealot thinks that it hasn’t, talks about coming to core and wants to oppose change, not knowing he is a product of change and adaptability. That’s when the fun starts.
It’s pretty foolish to air your views like these in public. They do not want to listen. They do not want to consider a possibility that the opposite exists. They think that what they know is the absolute truth. What little we understand of religion. What little we argue about it. How completely banal are our conversations about it.

selfish selfless, who cares a damn?

Everyone is selfish and interested in their well being at the end.

This has been on my mind for sometime and when a friend raised it I felt compelled to write about it.
My thinking on this goes back a long way. Once my dad and I had this conversation on Jainism (my religion) and he was explaining that in Jainism monks are expected to give up everything. At a level one he is expected to preach to the people about the religion and at the next level the monk is expected to only bother about himself and not even teach to others, the final level is one where he refuses food and drink till he achieves one with the universe or something like that. I remember asking that isn’t that selfish. Dad told me that in many way, yes it was.
When parents scolded me and when they told me that they worked hard to ensure we got a decent upbringing, in our naivety or anger we thought – it’s only their duty; only to regret thinking so later.
When I do the best for my daughter, put her in good school give her access to the best facilities, I have her interest at heart. But is the source of this? is it my selfish desire to provide for her more powerful than a selfless desire to provide for her.
Aren’t all selfless desires really a manifestation of a supremely selfish desire? If we do donate out of our desire to help ‘selflessly’ aren’t we driven by our desire and in that, isn’t that desire ours, in other words driven from inside us, making the desire itself selfish?
Can one ever have a thought so pure that it is purely out of doing for doing sake? For this to happen it must pure of intention. If there is intention then there is root of selfishness. For this an act that is a reflex reaction may alone be selfless. Putting your hand out to save someone you don’t really need to and fast enough not to think about consequences, is that selfless or that a selfish action honed into your head over the years. The point is that everything you do is processed by your brain. Your brain is not designed to self destruct but to live long enough.
So are we all truly selfish. My answer is yes – but hold on – it’s not that bad. In fact it’s not bad at all. The question is that, is your mind balanced. Does it have desires that say happiness is only obtained by self, or does it say that others happiness makes for your happiness as well. The root is simple, can I be happy and content by seeing others happy. Am I able to let others happiness be my source. Also when some one does something, do we really need to check if his selfish motive is at heart or do we let it be. Can we live and create an environment that says, I don’t care too much about your reasons for helping me but I appreciate the fact that you are.
I have realized that by compartmentalizing my brain – by letting go of guessing other people’s ulterior motives, by attempting to see positives, by attempting to understand that other people’s motives are ok, life has been has been happier and better. I keep telling people that you can’t control your brain to think and be on guard, but you can compartmentalize the action. You can be happy that someone is helping you and also you can be a little wary of the real motive behind it. Both seemingly opposite and emotions can coexist. (my favorite yin yang).
On helping others – its simple, open you pre school book. There are enough lessons there for you.

thats a fast one

We are jains but I am a little bit of a radical. Yah sure I believ in god and some super human power but going to temples for prayer is not my scene. The mega jain festival – paryushan is on. The seven days of fasting and I assume austerity is on. But there is nothing austere about it. It’s as in your face richness and silkiness (paradoxically for Jainism) as any other hindu festival. The temple is decorated with lights and pandals. Women and men roam around in their finest marriage finery with goady jewelry. People moving form one temple to another, form one golden idol to another. The orgy of flowers decorating is so sickening. The power of context is at its bets here. I would loved ot see flower décor but to see it in all splendor at a Jain temple is somewhat a bad idea. We gloss over the very principles we are celebrating. I even remember having a fight with my mom for letting me and Jasmine watch a movie during this stupid carnage festival. She said that its not right and you must not go, and for the hell of me I could not figure out why? I love Jainism but I hate the Jains!

I normally won’t even know when the festival is approaching. Tomorrow is the last day and if somebody would have told me that I would be fasting, I would laughed my head off. But wonders never cease. I for some whacked off reason have decided to fast today. I don’t know why the thought popped into my head but no food today only water. There is definitely no religious belief – DEFINITELY NOT, but I wanted to know what it is to fast for a day. How does the body react, how does one feel, what is the meaning of craving. One can read tomes on hunger but one has to feel it to understand it. I remember I used to try and do some fasting as a kid. I remember giving it up at night and having food. How would I feel today? It’s a normal day as ever. I accidentally popped a small ginger chip in today, so I have definitely missed the religious angle. I have always believed on learning something new regularly, doing something new, something else. This defines us and shapes us as we go along. One more learning, one more step. Right now it’s fun to feel the stomach grumbling, making weird noises, asking for food. Good cleansing for the system. A bit of detoxification never hurt too many.

brain food

The surest way to mind fuck is not to read two contrary books but two complimentary books. I am currently reading A journey through Jainism by MS Abhinandan and Siddhatha by Herman Hess. I read one in the morning and the other at night. how much philosophy can you tolerate at one go? The former is an account and factual narration of jain principles and history; the latter is set as a novel of a man’s thirst for truth in the time of Buddha. Full mind fuck. Rarely does one come across simple English philosophy and not the screw ball robin sharma types but deep rooted types. And to get two books together and that one happens to read then together is not something that happens often. As of this time both seem to be a cracker of a book. Let’s see how they pan out. They are quite chotu books in almost pocket size, but they are something one cant read fast. Typical process is like reading, introspection, reading, dreaming, reading, distraction and therefore rereading… something like that. They don’t finish fast enough. After this the perfect book to read would be the God Delusion. This would be a complete 360 degree view of the world I guess….. dimag ka dahi ke barabar hoga.

Also very rarely does one get four unputdownables in a row. I have been four times lucky. Lets see the fifth book… depends on what I pick up.

Reading the book on Jainism I was reading about the four simple principles, not to lie, not to hurt, not to be greedy and not to steal. Bahut hi simple hai. I figured these some time back in my life and I try to follow them. Most are relatively simple to follow except the not to lie. I am by most standards truthfull, but a few white lies come about and some real bad ones in the course of business. I don’t outright lie, but if the greater good is for the company then sometimes white lie surface and sometimes clear lies. I try to minimize but what to do. The job demands it at times. But no lying to boss, peers and bachas. Overall honesty still rules. That’s the only thing that takes you further.

when the cell phones first came out i figure that thae market for cell phones would be 100 to a 1000 cells at the most.

Now i think the BMC will soon come with a policy of sweepers not allowed to carry cell phones while they are at work.