this too shall pass

No matter what. This too will pass.

Many years ago in my firm we had an ass who joined in who did not care too much about others and was just throwing his weight around. He believed that everyone reported to him and wanted to control everything. We had a few run in’s with him and my reportee had a dotted line reporting to this idiot. Dotted line reporting… that is the stupidest thing in the world. These corporates have these matrix structures. Made popular by the multinational companies, in which you have no clue who is really reporting to whom. So as the marketing head of the business you have a ‘hard line’ reporting to the business head but a ‘dotted line’ reporting to the marketing head of the group. Or in many cases it can be vice versa. No real boss who is responsible for you. With so many bosses and so complex structures, the challenge is to ask the question – who will take care and be responsible for you and your career. The answer – go figure. I think they cause too many issues than they really solve. I hope that someday when I can change the system or if I can put in a system, I will put in a clean and simple system.

But coming back. So that was a real ass and I remember that my colleague was completely stresses and then we complained to the boss. The boss was very understanding and told us that he would take care of it, but at the same time he told us that ‘ no matter how big the problem seems now, in a few years as time passes by the problem will seem very small. Then you will wonder what it was about the problem that looked so big at the time”. Those were wise words indeed. It’s really true. When you face issues they look huge and look insurmountable but over a period of time, they end up looking so small and insignificant. You wonder why you took so much stress in resolving the issues. Another boss told me a fable of a general who was suddenly in the bad books of the king and was about to be put to death. When eth king visited him the general was crying. He told the king that his only regret was not being able to teach the kings horse to fly. The king said that there was no such thing. The general assured him that in a year the horse would fly. The king gave him a grace of one year failing which he would be put to death again. When eth general went home, his wife confronted him saying that she knew that he was fibbing. At which the general said – relax my dear – one year is a long time. In one year – I might die, the king might die or the horse might die. One year is a long time.

That’s so right. one year is a long time. when shit hits the roof for me, I sit back and think a bit. What is it that I need to survive the next few minutes, hours or days. Relax. What’s the worst that can happen. Then I sit back and think through the steps and breathe. The complex decision tree gets done in my head till I reach a point that I know that my decision is this and then I have to wait and see. Then I sleep. Sometimes stress can disturb your sleep beyond imagination. I remember that as an idiot who did not really prepare for his exams in the final year of college, I had nightmares of getting a bad result. The worry was simple, I had a girlfriend whose family I had convinced that I was a super stud. And failing was a real no no. So I had convinced myself that if I fail then the pass percentage of the entire board would be 30 percent. So that was not happening. Then came the next mountain. I needed at least 50% in the aggregate so as to be eligible for the MBA  studies that I had sold to the world that I was going to do. That was crazy. I remember waking up and then calculating what is the bear minimum marks that I thought I would get in each subject and inputting those on the calculator to get the final score. I convinced myself that I would be there! I ended up with 62% - a first class!

Problems are around us every day and they create such a mess and get our BP high, they rob us of our appetite and our sleep. But the truth is simple dear lad – this too shall pass. This too shall pass. After all – one year is a long time J

ashes to ashes....

One era’s terrorist is another era’s freedom fighter. Who is right who is wrong?  It’s impossible for us to sit and pass judgment. Yes it’s wrong to kill but shouldn’t we take a second to understand why would somebody send someone to kill other people or why someone would do something like this in the first place. While we Indians sit and pass judgment on some many issues we don’t take a second to think about the atrocities we might have inflicted on others. There are mass unmarked tombs being uncovered in Kashmir, thousands missing, torture inflicted upon, rapes committed. We miss this and it’s just passes us by.

Ajmal Kasab was one of those who came into Mumbai as a part of the terror attack and killed people and spread mayhem. He was the only one caught alive. Surely he is guilty. And surely as the rule of the land allows, he must be tried fairly and then most obviously hanged. That’s the rule of the law. If you like it great, if you don’t – then try and change it, it’s a democracy. And if you cant change it, then you are welcome to live elsewhere if you can’t bear it. These are plain truths.

Ajmal had to be hanged. The evidence was overwhelming. He was caught on photos, in the act and on CCTV cameras. Unlike the Afzal Guru case of the Parliament attacks this seems to be an open and shut case. Simple. In fact the verdict was passed by the millions of Indians who saw the drama unfold. HANG HIM. We simply were angry at the extensive trial that was undertaken. We were angry that a ‘terrorist’ was given a fair trial that lasted so long. Forgetting that only a fair trial can label you thus.

But that’s still not the point of it this blog. Today morning he was, by the law of the land, hanged till death. Done. There was no doubt in my mind that he would be hanged and that this was his ultimate fate. But today as I saw the news spread on Facebook, I was saddened. Very saddened. There was talks of a party, there was rejoicing, show of bravado, finally we did it, about time, etc. Ya sure. We hanged one misguided youth. Without thinking why, how and under what circumstances did he do it? Possibly he was a mercenary, paid to kill as a Wikipedia entry tells me. But I still couldn’t be happy seeing the revenge in people’s mind. KILL. HANG. DIE. I don’t know. I somehow don’t have those feelings and I did not like seeing them in my friends. Revenge is not a great feeling. Yes he must die, as is the law, but the law doesn’t tell us to rejoice on it.

So yes, I am happy that the law took its course. I am happy that the procedure was followed. A court was appointed who in turn appointed a competent lawyer to represent Ajmal, his mercy petition was sent to the President, dutifully rejected and the procedure was carried out. That’s a good thing. Still it took four years. Wow, if a high profile case can take four years, its no wonder that cases of lower national attention take so long. But still, I cant be happy that someone died. Simple. It may be a good thing. Someday India’s most wanted man, who is holed up in Karachi may die, but still, while it may be a good thing for a larger set of people, death on anyone can’t be a thing to rejoice.

I can’t be at the party hall attending a funeral party. I don’t know. So much hatred for something we know little about. What were his motivations, how was he brainwashed, why did he do this? All this while his handlers continue to plot further.

Revenge is such a primal instinct. We want it. We strive for it. we are gladdened by it. Even I am prone to this. I too like it when my tormentors get a dose back. But I have learnt differently over a period of time. Forgive, let go. Let karma take care of the situation. KARMA? Where did that come from? For a guy who is decidedly non religious, where is Karma coming in from. I have no clue. Karma is something I use to explain things beyond my control. In simple – you somehow get back the fruits of your actions or inactions. It’s simple. No past life, no future life. You and those connected to you affect what you do and what you get. It’s not like a balance sheet which balances it. Sometimes you get good and sometimes you get bad. But good or bad, the circle of control is internal more than external.

But anyways, its surely a time to think and introspect not rejoice and dance like the cannibals over the mortal remains of a man. Sorry I can do that.

Yesterday I was watching Pushpak, the dialogue less movie from the 1980’s. I remember it final sermon being – the ultimate destiny for any man is … death. So that it is. Whether it was senior right leaning politician who died a few days back of natural causes, who was seen as a messiah by one set and a perpetrator of violence by another; or Ajmal  - one set who sees him as a martyr and another as a terrorist. The deal I ask for is stoic. Quiet observer. Seeing life play out in its many hues. Quietly sitting on the bank and seeing all the ripples made and guessing what designs they will make when they collide. Learning no more than to observe and wryly smile.

dam!

Probably because it was on my mind, or probably because it genuinely fits, but this post today from one of my favourite websites http://www.xkcd.com/ to mind works best to illustrate the point I was trying to make on yesterdays blog.

After posting yesterdays blog I was not so comfortable with it. Something inside of me kept rankling. What was it about that post? Is my postulate wrong? Was I in error? Are there too many outliers to this that I have missed out? The more I thought the more I seem convinced that balanced and erudite minds often tend to be open about their conclusions. Of course you have the instances of scientists going mad because no body listened to them and they kept repeating their thesis to disbelieving audiences. Probably that’s a caricature we have from the media creations we see. Most smart guys I know are secure about their knowledge and are keen to hear relevant arguments on their findings or knowledge.
It took some soul searching to figure that the reason I was uncomfortable is that I was pissed at the world for this. This was the stupid thing. How can I preach equanimity if I get angry at the world for not being balanced and for being one sided? Relax. People need not follow all your values, no matter how right they seem to you. Getting agitated is one thing; the fact that it affects itself is an issue. Will have to learn to let go. I will have to learn to keep quite. I can change knowledge, add to it, debate it but it’s probably too much of a task to change attitude. Will have to learn to pick fights.

One random stupid joke comes to mind.
While swimming, two fish hit a wall. The first fish told the other “Dam!”