Lord almighty!

Man. God is in fashion. Real fashion. Many years ago I had been to Trambakeshwar and I remember it being a sleepy town and a sleepy temple. But last week I went there to be confronted with a three hour queue. Dam it, the architecture wasn’t even cool enough for me to wait in that line. And I am not too keen on worshipping stone. The queue outside the complex looked innocuous enough and we stood for an hour to get in to be faced with a long winding queue inside. Jasmine and I wanted out, but our friend and his wife wanted to stay. We would waited outside if not for Jispa who wanted to stay. Dam you Jispa. So we stayed on a snaking queue which was 22 lanes long. Another two hours. Very painful.
Only one way in and one way out. High metal bars so that people don’t jump the queue. Railings in the middle so that people don’t squeeze in thru the bars. Luckily there was a roof overhead and a few fans, but overall it was bloody tiring and hot. Here is a picture of Jispa waiting in the queue. I feel like cattle being herded in. Why do we mistreat our people thus? The people have no bloody option. There are only twelve special Shiva temples – the 12 jyotirlingas and if you want divine intervention you have to go in and pray there. After waiting for 12 hours, you get only 2 seconds in front of the deity with the ushers constantly pushing you out of there. The whole point of the 3 hour wait is to get an audience with God. To tell him I was there, that I waited. And my friends were very happy. They managed to get the Prasad that they had bought through to the God. The priest took their packet and touched it to the deity and gave it back to them. Awesome for them!
I got out of there and sat behind. Jispa came along and I explained to her; if enough people believe it, even a piece of stone can become a God. But I guess it works both ways. To me the lines show me that there is no God inside. This is pure delirium. To the others, the presence of this line might only ratify that there is not only a God in there, but a huge powerful God with boon granting facilities.
Its amazing how many people come in and follow rituals, how many try and beat the line, how many push and pull, how their tempers flare. How badly is the pilgrim treated? All this must an integral part of pilgrimage. Here is the photo of the line in which we stood. Its stupid and chaotic.



And if you think India is shining and that India is improving, one just has to look at the loo facilities provided. The common loo outside was a really bad place. It was dirty, dark, dingy and never cleaned. Luckily Jasmine had a scarf which she first gave me. I wrapped it around my face to get in. There was no way I could have held my breath for that long. In many loos in India we have suddenly understood that we can start charging money, but hell, we just understood that. We did not understand that after charging we must ensure hygiene and cleanliness.
Sacerdotal intercession. The belief that we need a conduit to get to God. The all-powerful Pandit in this case. He has a vested interest in keeping you insecure, in making you explain that all you need is a mantra or a ritual to set you free from the encumbrances in your way. I am lucky. I consider myself very lucky, I soon realized the fallacy in believing in this. I refused many years ago to believe in it. My mom and dad were practical about this yet we did go all over India to different places of religious interest, stood in lines, prayed and performed poojas. I think, like most others, we too were confused Jains. Fundamentally you can’t have the Jain and the Hindu faith intermingling in your mind. The Jain faith is about a way of life, a kind of athesism that says that the answer lies in living your life in a certain way. To give up desire and greed. The Hindu faith has pandits, who can help you. In Jainism there are monks who can only explain the path to you. But to my parents and to so many others I saw, it was all confusing. I like the way we called ourselves Hindu. Forget that – I love the way Shiva is a Hindu God when it seems there is no mention of him in the vedas. It seems he was a probably a tribal God of fertility or something that got well integrated into Hinduism. So many don’t even realize that the lingam in which form the God is worshipped is actually considered by many as a phallus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lingam) and it stands on the female organ. Of course there are numerous interpretations but people do worship blindly without knowing or understanding these concept as well.
But there is a line – a queue outside that is three hours long. And I dam it stood in it. Ok. In hindsight it was probably a smart decision. I don’t know what Jasmine and I would have done outside the temple complex for two hours in the heat. It isn’t like there is a café there to hang out in. no proper restaurants and like all Hindu towns, there are lots of cow, which produce copious amounts of cow dung. So the line was good. As the devout would say – you were there because God called you in there to witness his star presence. It was only willed by him. Cool. Thanks God. Was worth every penny. Just forgive me if I don’t do it again.

the mund avtaar

At our recent vacation to Kochi, one of the places we visited is the guruvaayur temple nearby. As we stared at the line we wondered whether to go in or not. Adding to the confusion was a rule that did not allow us to venture inside in shorts or pants. In fact there was a board outside that prohibited pants, lungis, shirts, baniyans inside the temple. Huh? I wondered if I had strayed by mistake into one of the infamous Goan beaches. We then figured that the rule applied to me. Nopes, I was not supposed to be nude as well. The malu populace defines lungis as the colorful ones. The white ones are called mund. So we bought two at 60 bucks each and tied it around our waist on top of our pants to go in. not that we are too religiously but Jispa was keen to go in. she is always keen and curious and game for anything.
At 60 bucks the mund is quite thin and almost transparent, as you can see in this photo. It’s a good thing that I had shorts inside else … also the shorts help in tucking the dam thing and helping it stay in place. Though a small challenge is to get your cell phone or your wallet which is in your shorts which are under the mund. You have to do without undressing your mund or look like you are going to flash.

This is the one with the t shirt on. The other photo without the tshirt is not uploaded as then this site can be reported for inappropriate content.
It is quite a nice temple inside with people pushing each other to get inside and get a glimpse of the hallowed one. its literally a glimpse with the view through a corridor of door and the closest you get is, my guess, 20 meters. The entrance to the main temple itself is a 3 feet by 5 feet door, with the line pushing to get in. I was letting people go in before me as I just couldn’t bear touching my bare torso with more similarly bare sweaty mallus, till I pushed by the ushers inside. Once we were done with the darshan I could go about my business of admiring the complex. Thanks to my readings of Devdutt Patnaik books I could decipher what was carved and hence explain the same to Jispa. The most famous being the image of Vishnu waking up on his serpent bed with Brahma in the lotus that is coming from his navel.
There are many depictions of this pose with many different variations. Laxmi at side, at his feet, shiva position, the dus avatars at the bottom etc.
I was explaining to Jispa the ten avatars of Vishnu as shown many times in the temples of south. One was specially fascinating for her. The Narshimha half man half lion avatar. She was after me to explain the story to her. I finally got around to narrate it to her today morning.
After a narration like this as is my wont, I told that this is only a belief that people have in their minds. As opposed to reality. Then I asked “Jispa, you know the difference between history and mythology?” “what?” she asked. I repeated “do you know the difference between history and mythology?” She was quite a moment and then she said “Mythology is what you believe and history is what you find out”. I was stunned into silence for a few seconds. I thought a bit and then some more. My 7 year old was right. “you are right, who taught you that?” “My brain” came the reply. “I thought what is same between the two and how they are different and that’s how I came to know.”

OK… OK…