treasure your silver

“Uncle”, one kid called out to me yesterday at Jispa’s school swim meet. The school swim meet is the eagerly awaited meet at our home. Jispa always does better at her school meet and her best times are at the relay there. It is easily the most important swim meet as she gets to show case her swimming in front of her friends. All her friends know that she swims regularly. They participate but know they can’t match her. Of the four strokes you are allowed to participate in only three. You pick your ones. For Jispa the breast is the weakest stroke and hence she opted out of that one. So you had the kids sighing a relief that she was not in that stroke, which means the others have a chance. She won the golds in the three stockes and that too by a wide margin. The second place was ten seconds behind in some races. It was complete domination.
“Uncle” she called out to me, “you must be very proud of Jispa nah?”. “why?” I asked. “you must be proud of her because Jispa is so talented”. She was alluding to the fact that Jispa has had a rocking year. She did well in English elocutions, Hindi elocutions, sports day and then the swimming event (technically it’s the next academic year) etc. “er, no kid. That’s not why I am proud of her. I would be a proud parent irrespective of her talents. It doesn’t matter”
Talent. Versus hard work and perseverance? Talent is good but you still have to work a lot on it. when parents tell me congrats for my kid, I just point them in Jispa’s direction. That’s the one doing all the work. I got a chance to explain this to Jispa over dinner. I told her you have had a great year but its all becausue of the hard work you have put in. “do you remember” I asked her. “do you remember in peak winter crying before going to swim because the water would be very cold”. She nodded. I asked another one “do you remember when you practice your elocutions, I would sometimes get angry and scold you and you would cry”. She nodded again. It’s a lot of hard work. Very hard work. I keep telling any parent who cares to listen. Please put your child in any one sport / discipline outside of school. Pursue it properly with the help of a coach. Don’t aim for any medal category but preserve with it. Something that the child enjoys. Do it properly. It teaches the kid a thing or two. It teaches hard work, discipline, the fun of improving every year. A mental makeup that will hold in good stead.
Jispa knows a thing or two about swimming, about getting up in winter morning to brave the cold waters. She saw her timings improve after the weather warmed up. These experiences are more precious than the golds she wins. I don’t hold any of her medals close to my heart. They are a means, not the end. Some of her races are more fun than others some more exciting but really, its about training every day, focusing on technique, concentration and above all perseverance that counts.
After her three strokes, came the time for the relays. One was the girls relay which she anchored and the team won effortlessly. Fourth gold. The last was the mixed relay in which they take the top four swimmers per house. She was anchoring that as well. At the start her friend went in first. A competent swimmer, I saw she missed her tumble turn to touch the wall and come back. That is clearly one to two second loss. Why did she do that? I later realized that it was because while swimming her goggles twisted and she was almost swimming blind. She bravely yet barely gave a lead which was lost due to a weak second and third swimmer, which meant that Jispa would start being around 15 meters (half length) behind. Now that is the best situation for Jispa to be in. Anchoring a relay and starting well behind. Go jispa go. Last year she came from behind similarly to clinch gold. This time her adversary was the fastest boy in primary. She took off and swam like hell. She gained and gained and gained. Till the very end. People were screaming and going wild. Could she do it? The last 15 meters and the boy was still ahead. Jispa wasn’t tiring; she was going fast, still gaining. An improbable coming from behind victory looked probable. Can lightning strike twice. GO JISPA GO, I was screaming, I couldn’t stop myself. Last 5 mtr, the boy is ahead and only just, and the finish. Boy wins by one second. WHOA. What a race. Jispa misses her fifth gold to get silver.
In the evening I asked Jispa “do you remember the athlete’s prayer”. “Which one, dad?” “When a great….” I started to have it completed by Jispa “player comes to write against your name, he writes NOT if you have won or lost but how you played the game”. “Yes Jispa. You came in second in the second relay, but then what happened? Everyone forgot the first place and came personally to congratulate you. They all told you that you swam a lovely race. You did very well, you were surrounded and everyone was talking about you and congratulating you. Who remembered the winner?” “Yes, you are right”. “Understood Jispa? It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you have played your game. They saw your game, not your victory (or lack of)”. The penny dropped. She understood. She smiled. All these I wasn’t talking bum. These are things you can’t understand when you win. That’s a pretense of humility or talk. But you experience it when you have played your heart and yet you have lost.
That silver Jispa, that silver… is more valuable than your Golds. Treasure it.