Make your own bed

I came across this video which went viral.

It’s a speech by an Admiral who was a Navy Seal at one point. He draws parallels from his training program and the lessons needed in life. It quite a nice speech and it comes from the heart and real experience. I am not a big fan of the parallels he draws but he does make interesting points. I think the point that came across the strongest was simple – make your own bed every morning. I like the way he says, that this simple task, done well sets the tone for the day. A well-made bed is the first accomplishment of the day. Then you can solve bigger things for the day. I am sure if life can simply extend the logic but, yes, a well-made bed sets the tone for having pride in what you do, no matter how mundane the tasks.

I was in the NCC and everyday this was a part of the routine. You have to make your bed in a certain manner after you wake up. You have to neatly fold your bedding and keep it next to your bag and shoes so that they all look neat and clean. This sets the tone for the camp and the simple discipline it brings about. I like making my bed and whenever I make the bed, I try and ensure that it’s neatly done. Take pride in your work. When I mop the room when the servant has taken an off, I mop it in a certain fashion and leave the room squeaky clean.

When we were growing up, the three kids used to have turns doing all the routine house work. We definitely had to make our own beds, and we had turns to clean the table after food and wipe the vessels after the servant washed them in the evening. I am sure Jasmine also did her fair share of house work. Though I am not sure how much the boys did versus how much the girl child had to do. But the point is that without really deciding on it, both Jasmine and me tried to shield Jispa from house work as much as possible. We do the dishes and we do the mopping and we do the morning chores and keep the bed neat. We have tried to let her be. Over the last one year, we have started to give her more work around the house. This has been a conscious decision on our side. We want her to realize and understand and even at a basic level learn about the work. I had started asking her for simple things like, can you get something from the car, can you get me a glass of water, can you lay the table etc. Amongst others, one thing I had insisted (before seeing the video) was to make her bed. As soon as you get up, the first thing you should do is make your bed. I have infinite patience right now, and I don’t cross on this, but I keep reminding her and keep telling her –make your bed. I have also taught her the value of making it right and neat. She does it, without complain. My reasoning on this is simple – how much do you want your parents to do more for you. She understands this and she is happy to comply. She forgets at times, but largely she does the work. The reason she forgets is simply the fact that it is not the first thing that she does in the morning. So I have been getting her to do this work.

So when I saw this video I immediately showed it to Jispa. She quickly figured it out and smiled. I don’t know for me whether it was an NCC hangover or whether it was a father or husband talking. But doing one small thing well, at the start of the day is an important thing. It does set the tone of your immediate morning and definitely at the end of the day when you hit the bed, you of course realize you are going to hit a well-made bed, a bed that you made well! It’s a good end to what in all likely hood is not going to be as great a day. We still don’t make the bed military style. We simply fold the blanket and put the pillow in order and then keep a bed spread on top of it. The ideal way is to pull the bed sheet tight and dust it as well. We will keep that for the military for now.

In any case, the speech is interesting and definitely worthy of being viral. The stories are interesting and worth recounting. It is up to you to draw your own lessons. I know from my own experience that a few years of disciplined life at the NCC taught me a lot of lessons. These have held me on good stead over the years. Simple ones like – polishing shoes or when I am wearing formals I like to have shirt without the creases thanks to folding, the ability to fundamentally follow orders given by seniors (you may disagree but then finally commit), reaching on time, fight forward to carry out orders etc. A few years of this crazy organizational discipline exposes you to a different way of life. Admittedly, this structured way of life is not the most fashionable thing going around right now. The military is seen as a relic that is too rigid and not nimble enough. Organisations that follow the essentially top down structure are said to be doomed to failure. All new startups look to tear this down and create a structure where the command and decision making is decentralized and freedom is given across the system. I too am of the view that the rigidity of the structure must go. But it does help for the young kids to experience this discipline before they choose to tear it apart. It will help them understand both sides of the coin.  Before you destroy your enemy it makes sense to understand it first.

In my office, I think people would be very surprised to know of my views or that I ever wanted to join the armed forces. I think my bosses would believe that I am a maverick and that structure or order would not be the thing for me. But things change. In my head I have happily reconciled the army command structure and the freedom to change and break conventions. Cross the command and get work done. It’s a reconciliation of opposites for me. I am happy in my head about the same and can manage both together.

I think that as you grow as an individual, you would need to reconcile these opposites in your head. You have to allow the pros and cons of opposites to work together and manage them. Things are always more complicated than what they seem and the answers are often grey. Lessons can be learnt from your experiences and can be applied anywhere, as the Admiral in the video shows. The trick is to not believe anything as the gospel truth and only believe in the power of experiences, varied and multiple. Then you realize the futility of ‘truth’ and the power of grey areas. They allow you to learn, be open, accept change and manage life. This is a simple thing when you understand it and so complex when you try and box it.