When we joined the gymkhana first we wanted Jispa to learn a
sport properly. The one we honed in thanks to the timings etc was badminton. We
also put her in swimming just to get her to learn it as a life skill. She was
doing well in badminton as well when she got promoted first in the swimming
batch and that decided her (till now) sports career.
But that’s not the point I am making. I remember one of the
things that they made Jispa do was run up and run backwards on the court. Just
run up and back. Simple. Get on your toes and run up and backwards. That’s a
drill. Drills are important in sport training. They help you develop specific
muscles and the build muscle memory. Then on the court it’s a second nature and
replication of the same.
I have been playing badminton for long and all of it is
self-taught. Looking at what the others do and thinking and trying to improve
my game. It has reached a reasonable level but is now obviously plateauing. You
end up playing with the same people again and again and then you aren’t able to
develop your game. You have to play with multiple players in multiple settings
to get an all-round feel to your game.
On the side of the court is a poster with the Indian legend Gopichand
with different poses and explaining how to hit different shots. For the overhead
smash one thing that I noticed that it required you to get behind the shuttle
in a way that the shuttle is just ahead of you and you can then smash it right.
It was interesting. I started trying to do that and it’s right, the shuttle then
just flew off the racket in a powerful hard smash. That’s when I knew what I was
doing wrong. I was being lazy. I was just getting back enough to get to the shuttle
to hit it back not enough to get behind it. Just a step more… or possibly half
a step more. That was the difficult one. It didn’t come naturally. That’s when I
remembered Jispa’s drills- run up and run back. That’s the trick. Keep running
back. I forced myself to run back a little more than normal. Again and again. And
again. The smashes started going. It’s just a simple thing.
That’s the great thing about drills. Drills help you get the
muscle memory right and get you to do the right thing immediately without
effort in the match. I am amazed how simple it really is and with a little
extra effort the game becomes much more enjoyable. Lovely.
These small efforts give me tons of meaning. I think these are
cute things that help me get past what otherwise would be a mundane life. Our
experiences around us make us who we are. We can go by thinking about the same
old routine and get bored and exasperated by the predictability of it or we can
get small joys in knowing that they can be improved or there is joy in the
repeatability of it all.
Will I be a cynic with a mid-life crises when I tell you
that don’t chase some great joy in life? Great joys are few and far in your
life. My child being born was a great freaking joy. Falling in love with
jasmine was a great freaking joy. Seeing my daughter win a race was great
freaking joy. Seeing her lead the sports day oath was great freaking joy. But
these come a few times in a life time. Rest are all small joys. Talking to her
on various topics. Ganging up with her and making fun of Jasmine. Making the
world’s best Paneer bhurji for breakfast for Jispa along with a coffee cup with
oodles of cream is a cute joy. Running like crazy across the court and picking
up the shuttle inches from the ground to take it across the net for a winner is
acute joy. Giving a tough fight to the opponents in spite of being a weak team
is a cute joy. Solving a puzzle with Jasmine or figuring out a product with her
is a cute joy. Going to starbucks and ordering a pour over with milk and then
asking for extra cup and some soy milk so as to get two for the price of one is
cute joy. Writing this blog and posting it is cute joy. Buying a new pair of
shoes is cute joy. Having a whack a mole fight with Jasmine with me being eth
beaten mole is cute joy. Giving Jispa my old night suit t-shirt and then
getting her ear lobe to kiss is cute joy. Fighting with Jispa over who gives
the cutest nose kiss to Jasmine while she struggles to cover her nose in
protest is cute joy. Talking to the trainee sitting next to you in office and
giving gyan is cute joy. Rolling a tissue paper into a pointed rocket so that
you stuff it inside your ear to get the last bit of water out of your ear after
swimming is cute joy. Sharing your reading glasses with Jasmine while we oldies
struggle to read a menu is cute joy. Putting cold cream on Jasmine’s legs or
getting her to put cream on my back is cute joy. Giving Jispa a massage after a
particularly tough works out in spite of you having a particularly bad day at work
is cute joy. Giving a coworker a hug for no reason and not saying anything is
cute joy. Peeling an apple without breaking the skin, in one straight flow is
cute joy. Sitting in the pot and having one hell of a good download is cute
joy. Finding a new restaurant that serves you awesome vegan dishes is cute joy.
Meeting an old student who remembers you and tells you that you were the best
is cute joy. Having a young friend tell you about their ups and downs and
mental state just so that you know… is cute joy. Having a cool chat with your daughter’s
class mates and just chilling around is cute joy. Connecting to a barista at Starbucks
and hi fiving them when you go the next time, is a cute joy.
What is depression? I find it hard to understand it. I think
it’s like hunger. You can write reams of paper on it but you can’t really
understand it till you actually feel it. I have never be able to really
understand it at its depths. I have seen a few patients suffer from it and I
wonder. When I was younger I tried to get people off it by talking to them and
by trying to counsel them, but this was pretty much useless. I leant that
people have their own battles to fight and the reasons can be both purely biological
and psychological. It’s easy to lecture when you are on the other side but it’s
extremely difficult when you face it yourself, I guess.
No I am not depressed or experiencing extreme sadness for
now, if you are wondering. But yes, I am facing some not so happy mood swings
right now. They seem to be irritate me right now as I fight them off. A few
things are triggering them – first when I was in US, the first Sunday that I
was free and by myself was horrible enough. Sitting in a foreign town and wondering
whom to talk to and what to do is tough enough for me. At 42, I have seen a lot
of life. Earlier when I used to go abroad, or out of town there was a sense of
newness and a sense of exploration and taking in the sights. But now I guess
that also has worn off a bit and now some amount of déjà vu set it and it was a
tough day. Plus I went to a family place like an aquarium and completely lost
it. Alone, in a separate land with happy families around me –oh dear, I was so
home sick. But funnily, it lasted till lunch. On a full stomach, I just felt a
lot better. Possibly it was the biology of it more than the mind.
Right now, Jasmine is with Jispa in Delhi for an event for 7
days. This is really hard for me. I don’t like empty houses and I hate being
alone without my family. Luckily I have a packed schedule but it still gets to
me. I think I just get angry at the world and it comes out in funny ways. I
have learnt to just smile and know that this too shall pass.
Coming back to depression. I can seem to understand some of
this of what goes on in peoples mind. Right now my mind refuses to see reason
and forgive or hold patience. It is angry and tired. I have to reign it in.
Tougher said than done. This is a small and tiny bit of what I think depression
goes through. Who can talk to you when you don’t want to listen? How can you
will your brain to outwit itself? When you are pissed every argument is in
favor of your brain and what it seems to think. Mind has a way to thinking
itself to its own reason. This is crazier than ever. I have always believed
that i have a decent mind but it thinks all the time. Like my good friend Sonal tells me, I need to
give my brain a rest. She threatens to give a coloring book. Nothing can be
tougher for me than a coloring book. Doing aimless, completely aimless,
irrational waste of time with no learning… oh dear me, I would completely fry
out.
So it’s difficult to
understand how the brain works. We don’t understand how our own brain works and
here we are supposed to lead a bunch of people and manage their brains as well.
How the hell does it work? We have barely been able to deduce any of its
contents and its functioning.
How do I try to manage my own brains and my complexity – let
me tell you about myself more than about anyone else? I have learnt that my
brain is quite a tireless worker and it needs to be constantly challenged. It
seems to like a challenge and like to do interesting things. It wants to learn
all the time and it wants to spread all its power for the common benefit of
all. It has many moods but it can be coaxed by its different parts to allow
itself to be molded. It can laugh at itself. Which I think is one of the
biggest assets that it can have.
I have allowed the luxury of my brain to laugh at itself. This
is not a small easy step. This is a significant step. This allows me to be sad
or happy or cry or angry or anything and then look at myself and laugh. This
way I understand what I am going through without really being too perturbed by
it. I like to look at my own emotions form an outside in perspective. It helps
me also realize how I am being perceived and help me evaluate myself slightly
more objectively. And fundamentally – it helps me look at my own emotions and …
and laugh at them. I don’t think I can after a point control my emotions. I can
check them but they do give way and at that time all one can do is look at them
and think about them. Once I think about them and laugh then I can change –
either immediately or possibly learn from it for the future. This is the simple
effect of laughing at yourself.
This is my brain and this is how it has worked for me in the
past. But one thing is for sure, the brain is an extremely complex piece of
work with so many factors working on it and changing it and shaping it. It is
fool hardy to control it or manage it. One can only look at it and manage it
one small dot at a time.
I think as I am getting older I am begging to sound more and
more like a cynic. A lot of variables that I thought are under control on
closer scrutiny give way to randomness and chance. Within chance how can you
have the notion of control? And how can you then change it by force of will. I think
change can be enforced by perseverance more than anything else. You can manage
through a concerted effort over a period of time by consciously trying and
getting better at it, slowly. I have learnt many things and I have learnt a lot
by simply seeing other people in action. But I think I also learnt a lot by
seeing myself in action. Seeing what my rational or irrational mind is up to,
playing these decisions again and again in my head and then seeing if I could
improve them. This has been the cornerstone of my improvement program.
You know yourself the best and you have only yourself to
fool. Yes my brain has fooled myself on multiple occasions but at least I try
to learn from it. I may choose to get screwed again but then I know it was my
fault. It’s been fun living this dual identity in my head. The ability to look
at myself from an outside in perspective. It’s been lovely.
Here before you go, a lovely video explaining why you shouldn’t
listen to your parents for your career decision. I have been seeing that propagating
that thought forever. Don’t listen to your parents. They mean very well and
they have your best concerns at their heart – exactly why you should not be listening
to them. No good ever came about from listening to your parents on career. I
try and explain the various skills required to Jispa but I definitely do not try
and influence her career decision. I hope she doesn’t take a lot of my advice.
Right now – I am constantly advising her one thing – learn to code. That’s my
hangover from the US trip. Learn to code. Anything you do in life will be
dictated by your coding knowledge, more than anything else. No profession will
be immune from code. NONE. Bet your dad never gave you that advice. My dad
advised me to learn computers, I disregarded it … joker..
Jasmine was called to school the other day as Jispa was
feeling quite unwell. She had cramps in the stomach and it was paining quite a
bit. When the Jasmine rushed to school, the sister first thought it was a case
of an anxiety attack. An anxiety attack? For what joy? The physics exam was
scheduled and possibly that was a trigger. Jasmine told the sister that is
seriously unlikely and Jispa is not like that. Of course it was something else
that we got treated with the doctor. But I don’t let Jispa hear the end of it.
I keep asking her just to irritate her on how her anxiety attack is doing.
Hehehe. Evil father.
Yetserday while going to school, we were talking. She was
talking about how some of the kids in the class actually get an anxiety attack
before exams and they get all stressed about exams. I had her about how she
felt. “No I don’t feel stresses before an exam because you taught me not to.
You always told me not to worry before an exam. Whatever will be will be”. Yes
I did teach her that.
I was telling her that when I was her age and before and
after, the only thing that my parents knew was that education was the ticket to
prosperity. In many ways they were right. That era did not have so many options
that you can pursue without necessarily being highly educated. Her class is
full of kids of parents who have achieved a lot or are ambitious. Me – I am not
too ambitious. I am aggressive but not that ambitious. Yes I want you do well,
and I want to do well myself, but only as so much as to put a decent meal on
the table and to enjoy the simple happy life. I don’t see myself as ambitious
as the others in office. I don’t want my ambition to be Jispa’s ambition.
Ambition was something that I had when I was in college and
when I was doing my MBA. I then realized (when I don’t know) that ambition
takes a huge toll on people and the family around it. It nice to be ambitious
but all ambition comes with consequences. Who pays for these consequences is a
million dollar question. You pay for sure, but your family and your peers also
pay for it. Happiness comes from making life smaller not bigger.
Of all the things, I want for Jispa is for her time with us
to be happy. I want her to think of her growing up as more fun than anything
else. Yes, it should be full of learning but not be burdened by it. I grew up
with the pressure of exams and it stayed with me till late. I didn’t want that
for her. There will be enough and more things to be stressed about, of all
things exams shouldn’t be. Right now she is still a bit carefree about exams as
she doesn’t hold the pressure of expectations as much. But later on when she
puts a lot into her studies with the burden of her own expectations then it
would be a different ball game all together, that’s when the penny drops or the
cookie crumbles? It should be fun to see.
No I don’t want her to be so stressed about it at all. I
want her to enjoy her life. She should be able to follow her heart and take
risks in life. She should be able to tell her boss to take a hike and she
should be able to take off and see the world.
I keep telling her that life is a series of experiences that
one needs to have to complete. The more varied the better. Right now, Jasmine
and me are tempted to get into another long term investment commitment. But I
am done! NO. I want to now spend the next 4 years with the ability to get Jispa
to try and try different things, explore new places and enjoy life. In any
case, at 42, I don’t have the same desire for adventure that I had at 22. I
would die to jump out of a plane in a parachute. It’s nice, but not on the top
of my list for now. So I also realize
that right now what I have as desires will be different from when I what I will
have ten years from now.
So for the first time, I am keeping my immediate priorities
over the longer term ones. It’s interesting to grow older and see for yourself how
your own priorities have changed or are in the process of changing.
On another completely different note: today I had the
pleasure of watching / reading two pieces of journalism. One was a straight
piece from a journalist who interviewed my previous boss and completely exposed
his ideas. It was serious stuff. In the startup industry when everybody is
going into a gold rush and refusing to look at data that is staring them in the
face, it takes someone to get up and call the bluff, tell that the emperor is
naked. Startups are great at innovation and trying new things but that does not
automatically mean they are successful. In fact a lot of them are going to die.
They will not survive because mere disruption is not the recipe for success.
Success requires a lot of other things, the ability to manage people, the
environment, the ability to adapt at various points of time and good old bull headedness.
My previous boss was a good sales guy but at some time he over reached and
things got weird. Someday, much later I will write about my experience. There are
important reasons why I must not open my mouth now. Firstly – right now I am likely
to be more critical than what is warranted and secondly the ability for time to
give me perspective. Things were in a haze, they move fast in a startup. You end
up with a lot of emotions when you refuse to see the writing on the wall and before
you know it, things have moved under your feet. Secondly – time also gives you
wisdom. It helps you see things in a better perspective. My last job wasn’t bad
at all. It’s only towards the end things got weird. If you want bad jobs, the
first one that I ever did was bad. And that too after twenty years I look on
with sanguine eyes. I don’t blame anyone and it was in many ways a great learning
experience.
Coming back – the piece was interesting and insightful. Not to
me – I knew the whole story but to a lay reader I would imagine it to be very
interesting. The journo got her facts right as well as her research and balance.
It was for the first time, and after a long time an article that was worth
reading. Normally I see journos just write whatever the spokesperson blurts out
and reports it verbatim. It’s stupid and I stopped reading the papers thanks to
these jokers. But this piece was especially well written. Good journalism is to
tell the emperor that he naked and that he has no clothes on. This one exposed
all the stupid venture capital guys who invest on a slide deck that loks pretty
and has little logic. Some basic assumptions go out for a toss and things go
horribly wrong, horribly. The debris from the hubris will be paid for in the
form of broken careers and human costs.
But then that doesn’t go on balance sheets, does it?
The other way to tell the emperor is to use the court
jester. Here you can joke away and sing a song but still criticize the ruler in
way that no one can take offence. Right now an actress Kangana Ranaut is
staying in the news by carrying the flag of women independence and taking a
stand against nepotism. This wouldn’t work for long in Bollywood. Slowly but
surely, the doors will close in on her as she gets isolated. I have argued for
nepotism as a commercial call in Bollywood. Nepotism exists as it commercially
viable, but that is a story for another day. But for now, she is seen in this
video which takes massive potshots at the male star culture, nepotism and the
never aging male hero who romances women 30 years younger! Without my comment
on the same topic, here, look at the video – worth watching
Of course this chick is very smart. She knows how to stay in
the news before her movie. But it’s still an awesome watch! And it has a valid
role in a society.. a very valid and important role!
It’s a speech by an Admiral who was a Navy Seal at one
point. He draws parallels from his training program and the lessons needed in
life. It quite a nice speech and it comes from the heart and real experience. I
am not a big fan of the parallels he draws but he does make interesting points.
I think the point that came across the strongest was simple – make your own bed
every morning. I like the way he says, that this simple task, done well sets
the tone for the day. A well-made bed is the first accomplishment of the day.
Then you can solve bigger things for the day. I am sure if life can simply
extend the logic but, yes, a well-made bed sets the tone for having pride in
what you do, no matter how mundane the tasks.
I was in the NCC and everyday this was a part of the
routine. You have to make your bed in a certain manner after you wake up. You
have to neatly fold your bedding and keep it next to your bag and shoes so that
they all look neat and clean. This sets the tone for the camp and the simple
discipline it brings about. I like making my bed and whenever I make the bed, I
try and ensure that it’s neatly done. Take pride in your work. When I mop the
room when the servant has taken an off, I mop it in a certain fashion and leave
the room squeaky clean.
When we were growing up, the three kids used to have turns
doing all the routine house work. We definitely had to make our own beds, and
we had turns to clean the table after food and wipe the vessels after the
servant washed them in the evening. I am sure Jasmine also did her fair share
of house work. Though I am not sure how much the boys did versus how much the
girl child had to do. But the point is that without really deciding on it, both
Jasmine and me tried to shield Jispa from house work as much as possible. We do
the dishes and we do the mopping and we do the morning chores and keep the bed
neat. We have tried to let her be. Over the last one year, we have started to
give her more work around the house. This has been a conscious decision on our
side. We want her to realize and understand and even at a basic level learn
about the work. I had started asking her for simple things like, can you get
something from the car, can you get me a glass of water, can you lay the table
etc. Amongst others, one thing I had insisted (before seeing the video) was to
make her bed. As soon as you get up, the first thing you should do is make your
bed. I have infinite patience right now, and I don’t cross on this, but I keep
reminding her and keep telling her –make your bed. I have also taught her the
value of making it right and neat. She does it, without complain. My reasoning
on this is simple – how much do you want your parents to do more for you. She
understands this and she is happy to comply. She forgets at times, but largely
she does the work. The reason she forgets is simply the fact that it is not the
first thing that she does in the morning. So I have been getting her to do this
work.
So when I saw this video I immediately showed it to Jispa.
She quickly figured it out and smiled. I don’t know for me whether it was an
NCC hangover or whether it was a father or husband talking. But doing one small
thing well, at the start of the day is an important thing. It does set the tone
of your immediate morning and definitely at the end of the day when you hit the
bed, you of course realize you are going to hit a well-made bed, a bed that you
made well! It’s a good end to what in all likely hood is not going to be as
great a day. We still don’t make the bed military style. We simply fold the
blanket and put the pillow in order and then keep a bed spread on top of it.
The ideal way is to pull the bed sheet tight and dust it as well. We will keep
that for the military for now.
In any case, the speech is interesting and definitely worthy
of being viral. The stories are interesting and worth recounting. It is up to
you to draw your own lessons. I know from my own experience that a few years of
disciplined life at the NCC taught me a lot of lessons. These have held me on
good stead over the years. Simple ones like – polishing shoes or when I am
wearing formals I like to have shirt without the creases thanks to folding, the
ability to fundamentally follow orders given by seniors (you may disagree but
then finally commit), reaching on time, fight forward to carry out orders etc.
A few years of this crazy organizational discipline exposes you to a different
way of life. Admittedly, this structured way of life is not the most
fashionable thing going around right now. The military is seen as a relic that
is too rigid and not nimble enough. Organisations that follow the essentially
top down structure are said to be doomed to failure. All new startups look to
tear this down and create a structure where the command and decision making is
decentralized and freedom is given across the system. I too am of the view that
the rigidity of the structure must go. But it does help for the young kids to
experience this discipline before they choose to tear it apart. It will help
them understand both sides of the coin.Before
you destroy your enemy it makes sense to understand it first.
In my office, I think people would be very surprised to know
of my views or that I ever wanted to join the armed forces. I think my bosses
would believe that I am a maverick and that structure or order would not be the
thing for me. But things change. In my head I have happily reconciled the army
command structure and the freedom to change and break conventions. Cross the
command and get work done. It’s a reconciliation of opposites for me. I am
happy in my head about the same and can manage both together.
I think that as you grow as an individual, you would need to
reconcile these opposites in your head. You have to allow the pros and cons of
opposites to work together and manage them. Things are always more complicated
than what they seem and the answers are often grey. Lessons can be learnt from
your experiences and can be applied anywhere, as the Admiral in the video
shows. The trick is to not believe anything as the gospel truth and only
believe in the power of experiences, varied and multiple. Then you realize the
futility of ‘truth’ and the power of grey areas. They allow you to learn, be
open, accept change and manage life. This is a simple thing when you understand
it and so complex when you try and box it.
Ah, just past the valentine
day. When I was in college Valentine day became a significant day in my life.
My wife first kissed me on Valentine day :) in Eros theatre.
Eros itself had an
important place in my life in college. Eros along with Sterling, Regal and to a
lesser extent – New Excelsior. When I was in college we did not have the coffee
shops and the places where people just went to hang out and do nothing. I so
wish they were there when Jasmine and I were having our courtship days. So, young
couples like us had no option really but to go for a movie. Movies theaters
were nice dark places, where you could enjoy with friends as well and they were
pretty cheap. In ’91 the price of a ticket at Sterling, I remember was around 8
bucks for stalls and around 10 for balcony and 15/16 for dress circle. To put
it in perspective a croissant at ‘Croissants etc’ – the cake shop we used to go
to – was at around 10 buks. Movies were cheap and cute places for couples to go
and spend time with each other. 3 full hours of togetherness.
Valentine days were
significant in our lives then. The college would come alive with love and
hearts and red everywhere. Couple would revel in the romance that was in the air
and guys would muster up courage to propose on this day. The card and gift shop
called “Archies”, names after the archetype the young kids aspired for, would
do crazy business as young ones would spend hours searching for greeting cards
or gifts for their beaus. Falling in love was a slightly expensive affair.
We were possibly the first
generation that started celebrating it with all gusto and pomp. Every beggar
and street vendor would sell truckloads of long stem roses wrapped in white
cellophane. So many of the roses and cards would land in the gutter and in the dustbin.
80% of these were because the girls rejected them and 20% of these because the
girls couldn’t take them home. Valentine’s day was frowned upon as not being a
part of our culture and heritage. Protests and scores of articles would be
written for and against it. In the end, I guess the politicos had to bow down
to the general mood of the people and silence their voices. Love cannot be
stopped. It cannot be directed and slowly it will break all taboos and
restrictions we place on it. I love how it is happening everywhere.
Recently we went for an
engagement of Jasmine’s nephew. As we were entering the hall, I realized that the
lady he was getting married to didn’t sound like a gujju name. Slowly my senses
acted up, the crowd at the venue too looked different. Some kids didn’t look
like kutchis and I overheard some Marathi – possibly friends. A few more
minutes into the function and I knew something was different. Then when the boy’s
brother came to me and we chatted up, I realized. Love marriage. Ah. The girl
is Maharastrian and they met doing some professional courses. There was
opposition at home from the mother of the groom but everybody worked on her and
convinced her. Hah!
It was nice to see these
barriers falling. At my time, the first barrier to fall was the simple issue of
choice of bride. I was lucky as Jasmine and me are both Jains and some similar
sub caste. Just a small difference of being gujju and kutchi. But large similarities
existed. But it was a love marriage nevertheless and it broke some new ground
in the family for the first time. Now inter caste marriage is happening and
that is breaking another ceiling. The auntie I guess will soon realise that while
she keeps her family in control and ensures a happily knit environment, love knows
no barriers. The bride and the groom were looking so cute together and happy
together, quietly knowing that they smashed one large barrier. Almost like –
one large breakthrough for them, one small breakthrough for the rest to follow.
All the talk about
integration of communities and a secular society will only bear fruit if we
integrate in a real way if we allow our children to marry of their choice
across barriers of caste, creed, ethnicity, age and sex. To have a really
integrated society and culture you have to set people free. Simply standing up
for the national anthem when it’s played in theaters and mouth it loud will
lead to nothing. I would hazard that it will only create more exclusion and a behavior
of race superiority. It will be ingrained towards more right wing behavior and
nation will only fragment not build. Allow the tribes to intermingle for the best
possible genepool distribution and competition. Allow people to move freely
across cities for work and employment and from that will new ideas emerge.
Ah! But the power of
unbounded love will force more power to kneel before it. Not like in the movies,
where one love forces power, it will be a collective effort of love across generations.
I am happy I put my one stone in the pot for the level to rise. I am happy that
kids after me, will put in their stones as well. Slowly the water will
overflow.
Bonus video – in the name of love!
Another random video.
This is more for the lyrics that contained these words that I read somewhere
How do you measure -
measure a year?
In daylights - in sunsets
In midnights - in cups of coffee
In inches - in miles
In laughter - in strife
But still and the full
lyrics are below
(read till end – There is a post script)
Lyrics
Five hundred twenty-five
thousand
Six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure - measure a year?
In daylights - in sunsets
In midnights - in cups of coffee
In inches - in miles
In laughter - in strife
In - five hundred
twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love
Five hundred twenty-five
thousand
Six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five
thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?
In truths that she
learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died
It's time now - to sing
out
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love
Remember the love
Remember the love
Measure in love
Soloist number one
Measure, measure your life in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love
Also on another note - I
was talking to a young kid on how Valentine’s day is not so significant in our
life now that we are all married and older and we don’t really gift each other
much. Also add to that, that we both are … cynical? What’s a better word for
it? Yes – skeptical. We just are practical about this. Yes we did wish each
other but that was more for fun than anything else. Just playing out loud the
ridiculousness of the ritual. Hehehe.
The last lecture someone asked me about the posturing that
India Pakistan was doing across borders. There was a terrorist attack on a
military base in India and India retaliated by conducting ‘surgical’ strikes
across the border on alleged camps. Uff… that was just the thig to get me
started off. A long short history about right wing governments versus leftists
and the centers. How right wing governments thrive on conflict and the perceived
threat perception from an outsider.
I just explained how the marketing theory will typically
right wing governments. Why there is always some escalation of conflict that
rallies a population when right wingers are in power. For some reason – there was
Kargil war after which in the election they could cobble up a majority for a
relatively stable coalition.
In the second term
there were the ‘attacks’ on the Indian Parliament. Some believe that these were
staged.
“We know this much:
On December 13, 2001, the Indian Parliament was in its winter session. (The NDA
government was under attack for yet another corruption scandal.) At 11.30 in
the morning, five armed men in a white Ambassador car fitted out with an Improvised
Explosive Device drove through the gates of Parliament House. When they were
challenged, they jumped out of the car and opened fire. In the gun battle that
followed, all the attackers were killed. Eight security personnel and a
gardener were killed too.
The dead terrorists,
the police said, had enough explosives to blow up the Parliament building, and
enough ammunition to take on a whole battalion of soldiers. Unlike most
terrorists, these five left behind a thick trail of evidence – weapons, mobile phones, phone numbers, ID cards,
photographs, packets of dry fruit, and even a love letter.
Not surprisingly, PM
A.B. Vajpayee seized the opportunity to compare the assault to the September 11
attacks in the US that had happened only three months previously.
On December 14, 2001,
the day after the attack on Parliament, the Special Cell of the Delhi Police
claimed it had tracked down several people suspected to have been involved in
the conspiracy. A day later, on December 15, it announced that it had
"cracked the case": the attack, the police said, was a joint
operation carried out by two Pakistan-based terrorist groups, Lashkar-e-Toiba
and Jaish-e-Mohammed.
Twelve people were
named as being part of the conspiracy. Ghazi Baba of the Jaish (Usual Suspect
I), Maulana Masood Azhar also of the Jaish (Usual Suspect II); Tariq Ahmed (a
"Pakistani"); five deceased "Pakistani terrorists" (we still
don't know who they are). And three Kashmiri men, S.A.R. Geelani, Shaukat
Hussain Guru, and Mohammed Afzal; and Shaukat's wife Afsan Guru. These were the
only four to be arrested.
In the tense days
that followed, Parliament was adjourned. On December 21, India recalled its high
commissioner from Pakistan, suspended air, rail and bus communications and
banned over-flights. It put into motion a massive mobilisation of its war
machinery, and moved more than half-a-million troops to the Pakistan border.
Foreign embassies evacuated their staff and citizens, and tourists travelling
to India were issued cautionary travel advisories. The world watched with bated
breath as the subcontinent was taken to the brink of nuclear war. (All this
cost India an estimated Rs 10,000 crore of public money. A few hundred soldiers
died just in the panicky process of mobilisation.)”
--
And then somewhere else in the article she argues
“On the basis of this illegal confession
extracted under torture, hundreds of thousands of soldiers were moved to the Pakistan
border at huge cost to the public exchequer, and the subcontinent devolved into
a game of nuclear brinkmanship in which the whole world was held hostage.
Big
Whispered Question: Could it have been the other way around? Did the confession
precipitate the war, or did the need for a war precipitate the need for the
confession?”
Wow. That was two nuclear powers eye balling each other! Let
that sink in for some time.
Now this time around as well, we have some posturing and in the
‘surgical’ strike one army crossed the border, ‘destroyed’ camps and came back.
This was celebrated in the media and everyone in India rejoiced that finally as
a country we have teeth. Jingoism all around you!
And now look at the centrist party. When they came to power,
they implemented socialist schemes with a gusto. Right to education, right to
food and right to employment. The last one was “MNREGA – the world’s largest workfare programme - formed the backbone
of the UPA government’s anti-poverty programme, and may well represent its most
important legacy in the long run.”
- See more at:
http://www.ideasforindia.in/article.aspx?article_id=292#sthash.1WVnU4gw.dpuf”
In the last paragraph the article states “It is no surprise therefore that MNREGA
helped UPA gain re-election in the 2009 general elections. There is detailed
RD-based evidence showing that UPA reaped electoral benefits from rolling out
MNREGA in 2009, and that MNREGA budgetary allocations across districts and
blocks have been manipulated in certain states to increase these benefits. “
So yes in the end, it’s up to you to weigh the substance of the
propaganda and the schemes thrown at you. You can’t accept anything blindly.
I explained all of this to the class. In marketing I keep
teaching, the first thing is to understand yourself and your brand and understand
what it is that you are selling. Similarly if you are a consumer, you have to understand
who is it that is selling something to you. What they seem to be selling versus
what they are selling. Political parties are amongst the most dependent on marketing
for survival. They have to understand their core philosophy so as to keep their
core base intact and after that they go after the fence sitters. Without a
detailed and vivid understanding of who they actually are, no political party
can hope for long term survival. Funnily worldwide the philosophies seem to
converge across three types – viz right left and center. The core principals
are also very similar across. Rights tend to favor minimal government and are
pro-business, while the center tries to lean left and increase governance and
welfare for the underprivileged. The left of course, worldwide is stupidly
rigid and completely veering towards state owned. You can understand world
economics, trade, politics and news through the interplay of these thoughts and
ideals.
So when the world is going bonkers and you have strong ideas
on what is wrong and right and you want to box the crap out of your neighbors,
sure, do so, but think again. Or as Arundhati Roy in the article says very very
nicely – “To hang Mohammed Afzal without
knowing what really happened is a misdeed that will not easily be forgotten. Or
forgiven. Nor should it be.
Notwithstanding the
10% Growth Rate.”
The last line is the hardest hitting one that she has
written. It’s a dig at the right wing which normally is super pro-business and
pro-growth. The growth rate is an important metric on which they win votes and allegiance.
Yes – you have the freedom to vote right, left or centre. You
have and must exercise the freedom to shout slogans, support war, surgical
strikes, place of worship or whatever you want to do in a peaceful non violent
way. You have the right to spew vitriol and choose sides. But all I tell the
kids that I teach – listen carefully, not just to the message but also to the
carrier and the originator? Within this itself there are many, multiple
agendas. Look carefully!
It also amazes me that how much of a pacifist I have become.
From a mother India lover who wanted to join the army and serve the motherland,
I have become a skeptic. The fun bit is that I don’t know when this happened. No
I am not disillusioned with the politicians of the country. That doesn’t work
me up. We deserve the jokers we elect. Public service is very difficult, taxing
and definitely not rewarding (if you are honest). We make life difficult for
the guys doing public service. We believe that all problems come to their
doorstep and we absolve ourselves of any solution. It also doesn’t help that
most people in public service drive their own agendas and their own ways of
doing things. They don’t allow for participation and block everything else. But
yes, people inherently are to blame for the shit they get.
I have been involved with the Swimming pool of the gymkhana
as an office bearer. It is a dam tough thing to do. People have strong agendas
and counter agendas. They don’t help when needed but come across to criticize
whatever you do. I think a few years of public service should be a must for
anyone. Once that’s done you will do a better job of discharging your duties as
a citizen, benefitting the collective whole.
But yes – I have over a period of time become an agno-
nationalist. I don’t care about your nationality or mine. What I care about is
how humans react to one another and treat each other. How people have to get
involved in how they debate and conduct themselves in public. These are simple
and important principals from which I want to draw the line. I love my city and
my country but not in a jingoistic way. I love how my culture and my thought
has been shaped by our geography and our history. I know what I am by knowing
my past. But I also know that I have to shape my future and that of the
generations to come from me. It cannot be shaped by propaganda but by listening
to logic and to question everything. It can come from a deeper understanding of
people and their emotions and their selfish interests. It comes from within. I
have been lucky to be in marketing. It helps me understand the core of human behavior
and their motivations. It makes me skeptic and dreamer at the same time. It is
interesting.
In the aftermath of the terror attacks, Pakistani artistes
are being singled out and have been asked leave the country. Producers have
been told not to take them in their movies or songs. There is enough indian
talent they say.
Here, listen to this absolutely amazing cover by a Pakistani
band. Tell me, if they come to India and play a song, how would we not end up
being enriched? Would we be poorer? But hell, thanks to youtube, they are
broadcast across the world. I just love the song, the cover version which I argue
is better than the original. I love the sitar notes which reverberate through the
song giving it a strong constant sound lending a kind of stirring to the guitar.
The crisp tabla creates an interesting contrast to the more muffled drums used.
The contrast and the richness is there to be heard. Like Indian classical
jugalbandi style, every instrument is given its two minutes of solo with the
rest giving it beat support. This takes a song that was essentially a solo to a
group effort, making it unforgettable. Seriously brilliant.
While watching TV over the weekend, we chanced upon Haider.
Haider is an adaptation of the Hamlet and Jispa with her new found love for English
thanks to her amazing teacher Mrs Ayesha Thomas was keen to see the Shakespeare
adaptation. We had seen Omkara, the Othello adaptation together and now Hamlet.
It’s fun watching the movie with her. I had to explain certain parts of it and
the language is a bit difficult for her to pick up completely on her own. But nevertheless
it was awesome fun. At the end of the movie, we went through Wikipedia to
understand the original story better and therefore to better appreciate the
adaptation. While reading the explanation, I chanced upon this paragraph that
explains all that I have written so far in this blog – “The idea that nothing
is real except in the mind of the individual finds its roots in the
Greek Sophists, who argued that since nothing can be perceived except
through the senses—and since all individuals sense, and therefore perceive
things differently—there is no absolute truth, but rather only relative truth”
