There was a marriage I got invited for. This guy was a sweet
IT guy who left the firm to start his own business. A sweet guy. I was happy
when he specially sent a card for me and spoke to me. Of course I would come
for his wedding. In morning I was explaining to someone that it’s my philosophy
that I typically go to these kid’s weddings. I don’t mind bunking a big
expensive wedding but I would go for a small simple wedding. My colleague
thought that was pretty cool of me – that I am not affected by status or
something like that. I thought a bit and said – nopes. I think you are wrong. I
am affected by status. Therefore I go to a wedding of the guy who may be of a
lower status. So that I feel invited and special. In a big man’s wedding all
are called. You are just some small fish.
But to be true to myself – I rather go where my presence
means something to someone. I don’t like going for any weddings. They are a
really boring chore.
Our servant since seven
years recently became a grandmother. She invited us to a ceremony a few weeks
post the delivery. That day in the evening we completely forgot about it and realized
only late at around 9 pm. Jasmine called her if we could come and she welcomed
us. She stays in a hut under a bridge. We reached the settlement and her son
was waiting for us. We were welcomed inside. It was a small tin room with a fan
and almost nothing else. A gas stove in the side with a few vessels was the
kitchen. A room made inside the shed was the privacy of the young couple. It felt
nice to go. We were obviously the big guys coming in. as Devki (our servant)
played with her gand daughter she said to her – look who’s come. Refereeing to
Jispa - she said – see your sister has
come. You will go to her house an dplay and learn. She stays in the big
buildings.
Clearly it was important for us to come. That is what is
important when you attend functions. Is your presence a significant to the
person inviting. So many times the invite is just for formality. They invite
because it’s just a part of protocol. But when someone like the IT guy, who
invited because he felt it would be nice for me to come, then I would love to
go.
Coming back to Devki. I asked her a few days later – who else
came from the buildings. She said only you guys came. The other lady is not
like that. She won’t come. She then said sorry Devki. What sorry I ask. She didn’t
want to come to the hutments. Jasmine and I looked at each other. Whew. Its good
we remembered at the fag end of the day. Otherwise she would have kicked us as
well.
Seeing a hutment where people live is always a bit humbling
and I was happy that we took Jispa along. Then only can you get a sense of what
privileges we have. We take a lot for granted and we as bankers have no idea
what the people really want. Devki has the keys to our house. She comes in the
evening, does the work and leaves. But crucially the keys to our house are also
the keys to her bank. She keeps er money in a pouch in our house. She has kept
a few of her jewelry also with us. She also has stored a few gifts of her
grandchild. We are her bank and safe deposit locker. She takes loans from us,
deposits and withdraws money and keeps valuables safe. When we think of what the
people need what we realize that they need a simple place to keep things safe. Her
stuff is not under lock and key and it’s not even worth breaking into my house
for. It’s almost nothing to us but a lot for her. She has no use for an ATM or
a cheque or working hours of a bank. All she needs is a key. But we give keys
only to those people who don’t really need it.
Poverty is a curse and it inflicts itself again and again on
people. These guys remain poor because of the system as also by the choices
they make / forced to make. Just one statistic floored me. She says in the
month or so after the birth of her grand child – she has ended up spending
around 25 thousand bucks. Consider this to the fact that she did not have to
spend any money on the birth, courtesy the government health service. And she
spent around 7 grand on the function we were invited to. Seven grand on
food/colas and other stuff. Crazy! That’s the money I told you want for you grand
kid when she grows up and goes to school. Save it!
Poverty is a state of mind I guess. Something must have
struck my grandfather when he was the only kid that decided to study and go
beyond his village. He came to Mumbai and became a doctor. His dad was a humble
grocer in a small village in Gujarat. He paved the way for prosperity for his
generations to follow. Moving out of the
poverty trap is not just working hard, its also thinking hard. Devki works as
hard as any one of us, but as she tells – when her son got married she blew a
lot of money in the village on the function – including a nautch girl to dance.
It seems including her payment and booze – it cost her 800 bucks. Now her
relatives want her to come and organize another celebration. I am keen to go to
her village and witness it first-hand. That would be another interesting
subject for a travelogue.
