Something nice happened last week. One morning as Jasmine
was sleeping, Jispa and I were awake. I had to make myself some breakfast. I
can make myself a decent dosa adjusting the thickness depending on the batter.
I had learnt how to make a dosa from my sister many years ago. Mom never liked
me in the kitchen. I think most women can handle men who are asking too many
questions and bringing logic and science into the kitchen. Jasmine also hates
teaching me to cook and she hates teaching Jispa to cook. She just wants us to
get out of the kitchen. Jasmine used to be a lazy cook. I think in the last ten
years of us living separately from moms and moms in law, she has evolved as a
cook. She now knows what she does and what are the consequences to that? So if
she cooks something that we don’t like there is a leftover and if she cooks
adding a special ingredient, then the food gets over. Simple things. This is an
interesting life lesson (or a marketing lesson) – you can teach cooking as much
as you like, but the real deal is an iterative process with a constant feedback
loop. Jasmine was aware to the consequences and did not believe in stupid
consumer research by asking the respondent what you like. Ask and you will be
lied to, but if you see the response to your actions then that is the best
truth.
A lot of product development and marketing thought these
days is similar to that. It requires managers to tell themselves and the others
that we don’t know “I don’t know” and start from there. Gone are the days of
big massive projects that take 6 months to year. Journeys are now an
amalgamation of short sprints to achieve simple success. You put it out in the
market and see the reaction to your product. That’s the only truth. You can’t
ask if the recipe will be good. You cook it and see how much was eaten. Then
you make small small changes to it and see how the bottom of the bowl was
scrapped. That’s the only way to know. Jasmine intuitively got it right. When
we discuss what to cook next she knows what will go down Jispa’s throat. She
knows that certain foods get eaten more and certain foods will have leftovers.
That is the ultimate truth. She figured out the futility of asking Jispa “you
like this?”. Dhoodhi chana daal is the ultimate version of this. It was looks
very unappetizing and sounds very Bleh! But every time, it’s eaten and
finished. She will always get a NO if this is suggested but is always eaten
when it is made. DON’T ASK A CONSUMER FOR HIS OPINION. YOU WILL BE LIED TO.
Coming back – I learnt to make dosas from my sis, many years
ago and then I have honed my technique over time. So when Jispa saw me make my
dosas, she wanted to learn from me. I have the proud distinction of being the
dad who taught her daughter how to spread a dosa on the pan. I taught her to
pour first spoon of batter and spread it. Keep the spoon light. Spread it in
circles and keep the appropriate pressure. Then I encouraged her to make bigger
dosas with two spoonfulls of batter. Then I taught her to flip it right etc. It
was very satisfying to teach her this stuff.
I think of cooking like swimming. It’s a basic life skill.
You need to learn to swim, run, catch a ball, jump, speak, argue and cook.
Basic life survival skills. Tomorrow when Jispa is alone somewhere and is
hungry, she can always get out a batter and cook herself a dosa or a pancake
and be quiet in the memory that her dad taught her to make the perfect dosa to
desired thickness. For me dosa making is an act of zen in which you are
required to achieve a desired state of achievement. And when you are going to
eat your own dosa, then the exam taker, the supervisor and the examiner is all
rolled into you. At that time how will you fare. First my dosas were misshaped,
then they got rounder. Now for some reason Jispa and I both like my dosas to be
oval in shape. She finds them cute (whatever) and I find them just the natural
way to make the dosa. A circle seems very forced and an oval is the right human
hand outcome. I haven’t yet deciphered the physics of it all, but I just feel it’s
the right shape.
So it was awesome to sit and have breakfast while Jispa made
me some amazing dosas. For some reason I loved them more than any other doasa. I
also remember the first time Jasmine cooked for me. It was potato and tomato
sabzi. I remember that very well and I hope to remember this day very well as
well. Ah!
