a clear mind is blank

After all these years of working and meeting people and problems, one leans to cope with issues and unexpected hurdles quite differently.  I now tend to maintain (at least attempt to maintain most of the time) a sense of equanimity while meeting potential issues.

There was a guy who had a stall at the local Shakari Bhandar. He was sweet guy who loved puzzles. He would try and teach how to solve puzzles. He had mastered the Rubik’s cube. As a kid I loved the puzzles as well. I would try to solve puzzles and it would be hours of fun in the vacation. He befriended me and he would give me tons of puzzles to play with. He also sold books and games and toys. So when Jispa was born we bought quite a bit of stuff from him. Once he needed to relocate to a new shop and needed money he asked Jasmine for 5 grand as a loan. I told Jasmine to happily lend him the money. This man gave me countless hours of fun. Also a lot of his puzzles were with me unreturned. In effect I had ‘stolen’ them. So don’t bother. He then ran a shop elsewhere. Jasmine and her friend were regular customers. Then one day he got a chance and immigrated to the United States. He left the shop to his man Friday to run. After making some money he instructed his man to pay back the money. The man contacted Jasmine but wouldn’t show up. One day he disappeared. We lost touch with the puzzle man and all.

On Sunday out of the blue he contacted Jasmine. He wanted to meet Jasmine and her friend. Both of them were a little circumspect. More money perhaps? What we do, how do we tell no… I drove them there. A little thought ran into my head – why think the worst. Its ok. lets meet. Possibly he is just meeting because he  has come back. I still love the guy and I think he is a great guy. I told them don’t worry. If an awkward thing crops up – you can always revert later. You need not answer then and there. Jasmine came back after the meeting. ”You know why he wanted to meet us? He brought gifts and puzzles for us and he immediately wanted to return the 5 grand”. Well well well what do you know.

That’s what I told Jasmine. It was in my mind but I didn’t tell you guys. Sometimes you go out and meet with a blank face and mind. You take it as it comes. Earlier on I would worry – what’s the issue – why does he want to meet – why is he calling – what would I say – how should I talk. Etc etc. now I meet in a far more stable state. You don’t know anything. You should keep two three back up plans that this is my worst case and then meet without a real plan. Everyone deserves a meeting, a chance.

I have met so many people and been through so many situations. Jasmine told me that she too will learn. I said nopes. I learnt a lot of this from you. Jasmine would normally meet without thinking too much about the consequences. She was the one who taught me equanimity. No Jasmine – I learnt this form you. Mil lo. Don’t think too much. Ah things happen.

So that was an interesting lesson. You meet anything that comes your way and you have a backup plan. That’s about it I guess. You can’t predict the world but you surely can manage your space in it without too much thinking. Clarity of thought also means thinking less. Aila – that was high philosophy. I surprise myself at times.

equanimity

My CEO writes a letter to all employees at the start of a New Year. He is a really sharp guy and he sees the situation much better than most others. But of course sometimes I like them and sometimes I don’t. This year was a letter I liked. We have had one roller coaster of a ride in the last few years. An orgy followed by a purge.

I will let his words talk now
“There are two important lessons we have learnt over the years. One, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Two, when things look good, they are not as good as they look. And when things look bad, they are not as bad as they look.
In 2006-2007, we all felt extremely exuberant. We dramatically increased manpower and costs as if there was no tomorrow. Things looked good. But they were not as good as they looked. The threat of the global financial crisis was lurking in the shadows.
From October 2008 to March 2009, things looked bad. In hindsight, they did not turn out as bad as they looked. Thanks to an extraordinary effort of intervention by big governments, the world managed to avert what seemed like a retread of the Great Depression.
The key is not to get carried away on the way up or on the way down. We probably sprinted too fast in 2006-07 and probably slammed the brakes too hard in 2008-09. The ideal path is building at a decent trot and growing steadily.
It is perhaps worth noting that you cross many milestones in a marathon and none in a sprint (unless you are Usain Bolt and the sprint is itself the milestone).
If I had to encapsulate our desired temperament in one word, that word would be equanimity.”

My big lesson on life has been that the first step towards change is to look at yourself and admit to yourself the mistakes you have made. Then only can you look to change and improve. Here the great man admits to his learnings from the ride.
Also I loved the last word take away. Equanimity: The state of being calm, stable and composed, especially under stress. The ‘especially under stress’ words actually belie the truth. One needs to be calm and stable against a seemingly irresistible force. These forces can be interpreted as positive or negative. A stable mind is required both ways. Basically it is the mind that does not get carried away.
Another incident comes to mind: Once my team was under severe stress and we went to our boss. The boss very wisely said that right now you look at it and it looks very large. Wait and watch as time passes by. This problem will over a period of time look very small and you will wonder what the fuss was all about.