Killer instinct. What the hell is it? We have been playing
badminton regularly these days. Today after a few games something inside of me
just went tick and I decided to focus on the shuttlecock. And lo and few hard smashes and a few points
in. I was surprised at the intensity I brought into the game at the time. But
what left me pondering for a long time later was ‘why did the intensity not
last’. I kept thinking through the game. I brought it on again in spurts and
then fizzle it went. What’s with the game? What’s with the intensity? Am I too
old or am I too tired.
I have seen this happen many times. At one level that’s a
good thing. I don’t keep the score, I don’t bother too much about the points I lose,
I am only focused on improving my game but to kill the shot when you have the opportunity.
Why did I not do that? Possibly since I have a bad knee, I am very careful
while playing. I don’t lunge too much while playing and I don’t stress too
much. Is that why I go into a shell? It must be impossible to have the intensity
and then tell your body be selective about it. only the shots you can have it,
have it and rest, IGNORE.
Since morning I have been thinking about it. Possibly even
in my cricket the intensity is missing. I am more focused on playing each ball.
Slow down. Get it right. It’s ok. Possibly my cricket has improved… but that killer
instinct that will kill and smash opponents is missing. It’s more the death by
thousand cuts than to put in one big body blow. Possibly its age. Age that
tells you to relax, it’s not worth it. It helps you pick your battles and choose
your opponents well. Live to fight another day.
Age (and experience) is an important factor in one’s behavior.
With age you surely slow down on various parameters. You tend to use your
intelligence and your experience rather than relying on brute force or power. I
remember as a 30 year old, I wanted to do everything myself. Take charge of the
situation and go screaming into battle. I would even have little patience for
the advice of the elders or even be irritated by their contemplation. What the
hell are you guys sitting here and discussing while there is work to do
elsewhere. Go charging into battle! There is power to youth a raw sensual power
that somehow finds a way to do what it wants to do. It achieves a lot more. You
fling yourself at the crease to avoid a run out, you smash a ball for six while
out of position, you bowl hard and fats and you smash with all your might. Youth
has an important role in society. There is tremendous energy there that needs
to be harnessed for a greater cause than itself. It needs to be molded and
shaped.
I have learnt over the years to rely on trainees in my team.
We try and take two to three trainees every year. Kids who are just out of college
aged 20. They bring with them fresh insights, enthusiasm and a desire to succeed
but not for money or growth. Success for success sake. They have tons of
distractions, come with tons of baggage but are eminently moldable. They are
here with us for a couple of years and then they move on to do their post-graduation,
making way for a fresh set of kids with fresh ideas and fresh enthusiasm.
Surely they take away a large part of the learning and we start all over again,
but the change in culture, vitality and excitement within the team is well
worth the effort.
I blogged in the past about how a cities need a balance
between a migrant and a permanent population. Some with a lot to lose and some with nothing to lose. The
same seems to be playing out in my team. If I have too many people who have
become furniture in the system and are unable to move or change or even too
scared to, or have too much risk; then the team slowly erodes its power. It
needs a balance of flexibility and sturdiness.
Your age is an important factor of your role in society. We
make our young ones in office slog hard. I have no respect for their time and
their effort. So what… put in more. This is the age to slog your butt out. Use
your time and work hard, that’s what you are here for. Question everything. Bring
new ideas, try harder. If the young one doesn’t question who will? So when I see
someone younger than me in a state of bliss and not ready to put in the extra
effort, I pull them up. If they are scared of a challenge I chide them. If they
are scared to take the first step, I push them. Experience by definition is a
larger set of prejudices. And lack of therefore is the power of a few prejudices.
I expect a younger person to have opinions. He is designed to … but to temper
then with the ability to listen and rearrange them… that will lead to
experience. Easier said than done….
My favorite quote on this – when a man realizes that what
his father said was right usually has a son who thinks he is wrong.
Jispa – if we have disagreements and shot and fight and get
angry with each other, it’s a sad thing. But if you agree with me on most
issues – it’s a sadder thing. Can we simply agree to disagree?
