crowning glory

It always nice to be proven wrong. To have a change of heart or head. To hold a notion or long and then to have compelling evidence to change it. For long we never had cable at home. That was the big pound thing and looking at us a few friends of ours also followed suit and it did make for an enriching life. What is that cable can add to our life. It was a wonderful life with Jispa as she grew up withour cable.

In the new house, we bought a new TV but we still did not want cable. We just simply connected it to the internet and through Prime and Hotstar I thought we had it pretty much licked. I wasn’t so kicked about Netflix. I was not a TV series kind of guy. Why would I need Netflix. Then a friend came home and just logged me onto his plan. He had one extra login free. Ok fair.

For the last few months I simply watched a few movies on Netflix and I hated the experience. How many movie titles do you need to browse through to choose the one you like? Jasmine hated me for it. I tried one series in the House of cards, but I just couldn’t handle it for long. I get bored. And I hated series even more. Why would I invest 10s of hours when you can get story in 3 and be done with?

This went on till on a lark I just tried a series on Netflix called The Crown and I was hooked. It is a terrific series which perfectly sits with my sensibility. A well-produced drama based on history. It tries to get behind the story of the Queen of England.  Their approach is brilliant and in every episode they try and get behind the character and help you understand their issues, motivations, fears and pride. And since they have Churchill featured very prominently in the first ten episodes, I was completely hooked. It brought alive the character of the man after the war as an old and ageing politician fighting to stay with his glory of winning the world war. The dialogues are brilliant and Jispa and I keep clapping whenever he has his sharp wit at play.

Now I understand why people are hooked to series. One friend had told me – a series works as he found it a waste to invest time in a movie. A series the return is over a longer period. With The Crown, I would agree. Now I am invested in the characters and their inner travails. I will appreciate it much more over a period of time. And the fact that it makes for family viewing. We all are hooked. I am now right now binge watching the live episodes and I guess we will wait after we are done for the new episodes.

Of course the binge watching is not anywhere like what the millennials watch. At best we can take in about 4 to 5 episodes in a day. The millennials do the full series in one sitting, one night. It’s a killer. In any case whatever little I binge is also possible just because I have a banged up knee and I am forced to stay at home. My bloody bum is hurting from all the sitting I am doing. It is painful. But I am so looking forward to my surgery.

My hope is that once the surgery is done, I will be fully rehabilitated and I will be able to run a like a mad man again. I want to run fast and hard and I want to take part in an obstacle course or something like that. I know now I can be fit and fast. It’s crazy for me to be this way at 43 but I am loving it. I never knew that I could grow older and fitter. Wah wah.

But I like that at 43 I am learning new things as a person, as a binge watcher, as a sportsperson and as a human. Its lovely man!

shant gadhadhari bheem, shant

Everyone gets used to everything. Once I met a Chinese lady who was on a study trip here. We got talking at a mutual friends place and I asked her, “how is it possible for the Chinese to live without real freedom”. How can the government control everything and the Chinese become used to it without revolt?” She said “its just the way of life and you get used to it. Without meaning disrespect, but in India there is a tribe which pushes one of its own daughters into prostitution. It’s just it. Over a period of time you don’t know what else”. I guess it’s true to some extent. People are great at adapting to surroundings and get used to it. I always wonder. Like in some regimes like North Korea, how could a mad cap dictator survive with the kind of atrocities committed by him? Don’t the people revolt, know that it’s stupid and this cant work like this? I guess not.

Many years ago I had a long and memorable chat with my dad. It was when I was in school. I argued that non violence was the best means. We were so many of us. All we needed was one Indian to kill one British and we were done. We outnumbered them by a large margin. It doesn’t work that way. I think George Bernad Shaw said ‘Progress depends on the unreasonable man’. He is right as well. People prefer status quo but status quo must be challenged. I want change but I am also part of people. So what am I? an unreasonable man or a status quo man?

I think a lot depends on age. When I was much younger I was impatient. Time was running out. I would hop jobs and go for the best offer, the best job and flirt with many. As age progressed, I found myself ready to play the waiting game. Waiting waiting waiting.  So did cobwebs grow under my back side. Have I lost the fire I once had? Well yes and no.

Oh yes the bland rage that I had is gone. I am no longer the angry young man I once was. Ready to change the world and refusing to see logic and patience. But I guess you can’t ever continue with that rage. It burns you and those around you. You learn to shimmer and crouch and learn to direct it. Not hitting every ball and waiting for the right ball is also aggression. Dour defense is as aggressive as flashy stroke play. It’s how you define aggression.

I was and still will always be extremely aggressive. But the manifestation has changed. It comes out differently. I miss the idiot I once was but I am also thankful that I am no longer the idiot I once was. One realizes that the world can’t be changed in one day. It takes time and patience. Also one acknowledges that the world’s priorities are different from yours and it’s definitely not true that yours are the most important priorities alive. So this kind of patience is critical to the living and adapting to the environment around you. Especially, if you are the aggressive sorts. Aggression is a means to an end.

I have also learnt that naturally aggressive people and toppers and people in high places can’t just tone down that easily. If some has reached somewhere they have reached there by aiming and working towards it. And if you think they are not aggressive. I think you must think again. Its only that their priorities or world wisdom tells them something that you don’t know. When I was much younger I would be eager to criticize and complain. Now I hold my horses.  It’s important to understand the context and put yourself in their shoes. Now figure, are you really that sure of the situation. Are you jumping to conclusions without assigning probabilities? Like today at the gymkhana I overheard some conversation where the person said ‘that is the solution. That’s the only way to solve it.’ It struck me hard. I have learnt to say more often than not “that SEEMS to me as the solution to the problem”. Because you never know.

Recently Rahul Gandhi got screwed in the media for the interview he had on a news channel. He answered randomly to questions asked. No matter what he was asked, his answers were something else. Woah. Easily one of the worst possible interviews. He lost a lot of his urban English speaking fans. But hell, I am not ready to haul him over coals yet. He is definitely not stupid. I always like to look at the other side. Why did he say thus? What was on his mind? What would have been the strategic reasoning behind it? Was he that naïve? I don’t believe that the truth is that simple as it is made out to be. Yes it sounded bad, but was there another game that was being played?

Restraining aggression is easily one of the most difficult things to do. Rather let me reword that one  - Redirecting aggression is easily one of the most difficult things to do. Curbing your natural instinct while honing it so that you don’t lose your mojo is just a bloody difficult thing to do.

I am reminded of my boss who used to say “shant gadhadhari bheem, shant”. If you are born after 1980 you won’t really get the reference. This was from the epic serialised version of the Mahabharat, wherein the eldest of the Pandavs continuously held back the biggest of the Pandavs, namely Bheem. Shant – Peace. Peace.

And talking of being used to something. I love my desk in the mornings and I am so used to it. I will really miss this when I leave. As and when I leave.

fortune favors the brave?

Killer instinct. What the hell is it? We have been playing badminton regularly these days. Today after a few games something inside of me just went tick and I decided to focus on the shuttlecock.  And lo and few hard smashes and a few points in. I was surprised at the intensity I brought into the game at the time. But what left me pondering for a long time later was ‘why did the intensity not last’. I kept thinking through the game. I brought it on again in spurts and then fizzle it went. What’s with the game? What’s with the intensity? Am I too old or am I too tired.

I have seen this happen many times. At one level that’s a good thing. I don’t keep the score, I don’t bother too much about the points I lose, I am only focused on improving my game but to kill the shot when you have the opportunity. Why did I not do that? Possibly since I have a bad knee, I am very careful while playing. I don’t lunge too much while playing and I don’t stress too much. Is that why I go into a shell? It must be impossible to have the intensity and then tell your body be selective about it. only the shots you can have it, have it and rest, IGNORE.

Since morning I have been thinking about it. Possibly even in my cricket the intensity is missing. I am more focused on playing each ball. Slow down. Get it right. It’s ok. Possibly my cricket has improved… but that killer instinct that will kill and smash opponents is missing. It’s more the death by thousand cuts than to put in one big body blow. Possibly its age. Age that tells you to relax, it’s not worth it. It helps you pick your battles and choose your opponents well. Live to fight another day.

Age (and experience) is an important factor in one’s behavior. With age you surely slow down on various parameters. You tend to use your intelligence and your experience rather than relying on brute force or power. I remember as a 30 year old, I wanted to do everything myself. Take charge of the situation and go screaming into battle. I would even have little patience for the advice of the elders or even be irritated by their contemplation. What the hell are you guys sitting here and discussing while there is work to do elsewhere. Go charging into battle! There is power to youth a raw sensual power that somehow finds a way to do what it wants to do. It achieves a lot more. You fling yourself at the crease to avoid a run out, you smash a ball for six while out of position, you bowl hard and fats and you smash with all your might. Youth has an important role in society. There is tremendous energy there that needs to be harnessed for a greater cause than itself. It needs to be molded and shaped.

I have learnt over the years to rely on trainees in my team. We try and take two to three trainees every year. Kids who are just out of college aged 20. They bring with them fresh insights, enthusiasm and a desire to succeed but not for money or growth. Success for success sake. They have tons of distractions, come with tons of baggage but are eminently moldable. They are here with us for a couple of years and then they move on to do their post-graduation, making way for a fresh set of kids with fresh ideas and fresh enthusiasm. Surely they take away a large part of the learning and we start all over again, but the change in culture, vitality and excitement within the team is well worth the effort.

I blogged in the past about how a cities need a balance between a migrant and a permanent population. Some with a  lot to lose and some with nothing to lose. The same seems to be playing out in my team. If I have too many people who have become furniture in the system and are unable to move or change or even too scared to, or have too much risk; then the team slowly erodes its power. It needs a balance of flexibility and sturdiness.

Your age is an important factor of your role in society. We make our young ones in office slog hard. I have no respect for their time and their effort. So what… put in more. This is the age to slog your butt out. Use your time and work hard, that’s what you are here for. Question everything. Bring new ideas, try harder. If the young one doesn’t question who will? So when I see someone younger than me in a state of bliss and not ready to put in the extra effort, I pull them up. If they are scared of a challenge I chide them. If they are scared to take the first step, I push them. Experience by definition is a larger set of prejudices. And lack of therefore is the power of a few prejudices. I expect a younger person to have opinions. He is designed to … but to temper then with the ability to listen and rearrange them… that will lead to experience. Easier said than done….

My favorite quote on this – when a man realizes that what his father said was right usually has a son who thinks he is wrong.

Jispa – if we have disagreements and shot and fight and get angry with each other, it’s a sad thing. But if you agree with me on most issues – it’s a sadder thing. Can we simply agree to disagree?

view on views

I came across an interesting article today. One of my key take away will be this chart that maps your leanings with your age. It seems pretty logical to me.




Here is an extract of the article
"Both socially and economically, teenagers prefer an anything-goes type situation.
But as these teenagers grow up a bit and enter the job market, they quickly develop progressive economic ideas: perhaps a bit of "levelling" seems pretty good when you're staring up the professional ladder from the bottom rung. Meanwhile, their youthful live-and-let-live social philosophy begins to fade.
In their late 20s, they start making real money. Economic progressivism goes out the window, preferably out the window of a building with a doorman. As the adult mind turns to more material matters, social views don't change that much.
Finally, after the mid-40s, retirement looms. Our former teenagers check their collective 401(k)s and think, you know what, let's all get checks from the government. Social views take a hard turn for the more restrictive. At the end of the journey, economic and social views are again in agreement—only this time on the other side of the philosophical line!"


This is the reason why we tend to get into fights with different age groups. Typically these are ideological fights. I pray that if I get older and if my beliefs change, I should learn to respect the beliefs of those younger and understand why they think their way and why I might be thinking my way. It’s important. If you understand the genesis of thought conflict may not be needed to be solved.