Coldplay, possibly the biggest band of the current time was
to play in India. In Mumbai. A friend of mine, one day called me – “Arey boss,
tell me fast, I am on the site and I can book tickets for the Coldplay concert.
Tell me now and I will book now”. “How much for the tickets?” I enquired. “15
thousand for a ticket and we are all going. Tell me now and I will book.”. I
thought about it for a minute and said – sure. I know Jispa likes Coldplay and I
know that they are not going to be in India again and again and hence I booked
the tickets. I came home and had a chat with jasmine – the tickets were definitely
pricey. But that was no issue. We could always sell them later on. Then I sat
to understand what tickets we bought. These were for the Global Citizen show
which had a whole host of people performing and Coldplay was one of the many
attractions. I searched more and realized that kids under 18 were not allowed.
Ok – that was a bummer and then I offered the tickets for sale.
After us, most the friends who had also booked along with
us, offered the tickets for sale and very few were really going. I explained the
same to Jispa. She was disappointed but understood. Closer to the event news
started filtering that young ones are going to be allowed as long as they are
accompanied by an adult. As the tickets came in last week, it was clear, kids
above 12 were allowed if accompanied by an adult. Hence the tug of war had
already started. Between a friend and me we had six tickets of which 2 had been
sold. So it was 4 left and we decided that he would get his daughter and I would
get Jispa and got o the concert. If someone was willing to buy all four then
only we would sell. Then another twist came in – Jispa had an interschool
competition that day. I was ok bunking. Jasmine said – no issues, she can
finish the competition and come. The concert was to start from 1.30 pm and last
till around 10 pm. So she could always go late and obviously Coldplay would be the
last performance. This was then the plan. One day before the organizers put out
a bomb – no entry after 4 pm. Oh man – that meant waiting in line from 2.30 pm
at least. Now what? So then I tried selling the tickets again online, on some
facebook forum. Then my friend told me that I shouldn’t sell his tickets since he
had promised his daughter. In all this Jispa had earlier been quite ok to sell
the tickets or else we would go. In the end it was a chaos. I was getting a
buyer and then I called to be sure. Now Jispa was feeling like she really
wanted to go and WTF, and all hell was breaking loose. She also had a sore
throat and a cold and was wondering what to do. Plus, the swim meet. What would
she tell the coach? The pressure was real, decide now, I have some guy ready to
transfer funds NOW. In the end, the call was taken – sell. Fine. I got a buyer
and closed the deal with an advanced payment. Deed done. Now to sit and feel
guilty about the whole process. Jasmine and me were feeling really bad. We knew
she wanted to go and we bought the freak expensive tickets, but we just couldn’t
make it happen.
So on the day we just simply sat in front of the TV screen
and watched the concert live. Watching it on TV was a mixed reaction. It was an
amazing concert with some amazing performances but then we noticed that the
silver passes (which we sold) were really far away from the stage, unless you try
and squeeze right in front near the barricades and risk getting crushed by the crowd
behind you. There was no way that the passes were worth the 15k that we spent
on them. We felt happy that the passes were sold. Jispa and me spoke about it
and we discussed how badly a waste of money they actually were. I felt guilty
that she did go but I also felt relieved that they were sold off. Even at 15k a
pass if you are going to be that far away from the stage, it doesn’t really add
up.
But we still felt really bad. We wanted her to go to the
concert but it wasn’t to be. The next day my friends report came in. It was the
most horrible moment of his life. The water was over most of the time, the food
was over, the lines were long, the dust was too much, the stage was far, the
performer wasn’t seen and the phones didn’t work. There in short – was the
experience that ticket paying fans are going to be subjected to. On TV it looks
like an awesome performance and it was. Chris Martin was awesome; the energy
was infectious but the whole experience of seeing it live was a bad one. I
spoke to Jispa about it. I had a chat with her. Sure it was bad and sure we couldn’t
go because she was unwell and she had her events, but she deserved the right to
go and see it for herself, experience it for herself and know firsthand what it
takes to be at a rock concert and see for herself how bad it is. All the kids
of course who went there, thoroughly enjoyed it. They are ok being hungry and
thirsty and pushed around. They want to be there and experience what it is to
breathe the same air as their band and they want to say ‘I was there’. Well so
be it.
So now I told her that when she grows up, I would be happy
to fund her concert and the ticket of her boyfriend as well. Ah… no reaction
besides that of mild disgust. Jasmine is quietly still feeling bad and went
online to check when is Coldplay next performing. She figured there is one concert
in Singapore for Jispa to attend on 1st April. I am happy to send
them but I think that plan too fizzled out thanks to Jispa’s school.
I think there will be more moments for her to enjoy and more
rock concerts for her to go to. Possibly the environment that we expect for her
is way to sanitized. Maybe we aren’t able to set her free. She is now 14 plus and
she needs her freedom. We check on her too much and we bother her too much. I
think it’s time we set her free. I don’t think we should monitor her too much
now. In the exams we told her that if you get good grades studying the way you
do, then we are going to back off. I am keeping to my word. She gets her grade
and I stay off. She can study the way she wants to and listen to music while
she studies. I am not going to say anything. My dad used to tell me that he
would force me to study and be after me till the tenth grade, after which he
would simply stay off. I appreciated it a lot. He was true to his word. He never
once questioned me on my marks or what I did or anything in college. He stayed
true. So now one full generation down, can we not go down two year and three
grade years. Now that Jispa is in the 8th, she should be largely
left alone. Left alone in her swimming and left alone in her studies. What more
can you do. You can’t keep pushing your kid on this. Permit where you can and
protect where you must.
I also realized that now Jispa has different issues in life.
He issues would be interpersonal, boyfriends, girlfriends, attention,
friendships, interpersonal. Here I don’t think she should come to us to sort
them. She has to sort them herself. Sure she needs help, but not the in your face
and let me tell you what to do help, but more subtle ones. I had a chat with
her. I told her that now her issues are going to be her own and she will face
them. She is going to find it funny to talk to us on them. She must talk to
others, she must have friends who are elder to her and would chat with her. I
told her that I would tell her about my issues that I had as a child and how I dealt
with them, the mistakes I made and the various different experiences I had. I
have opened up to her on my adolescence in the hope that she learns from it. She
doesn’t need to find Buddha on the road, she needs to find them in her head. In
the stories that she has seen around her, from the experience that history teaches
her. She has to eliminate some basic errors or at least learn fast from them.
Errors will happen, shit will hit you but you have to learn. If you learn fast
you will grow better.
Somebody asked me if I would rather be old as today or go
back 20 years. That is a crazy question. I am far better off today than I was
20 years before. I am healthier, smarter, more patient, richer, more aware of
myself and my surroundings, more confident and everything else. I rather be
today than yesterday. Possibly that’s a sign of a well maturing individual as
much as it is a sign that I had a stupid childhood. Who knows.
At 41, my body is fats showing signs of wear and tear. I
heal slower and I feel I can’t do the things that I used to do earlier. But I still
like it. 20 years ago I was a thin kid with 16 kgs less mass and infinitely
less money and even less confidence. I think 40 is a great balance. Yes, I am
losing hair and that took some time to get adjusted to, but hell, it’s fun. I
guess, I have to now fight to keep the balance that is there with me alive.
This seems just right.
