how's work doing?

There was a saying I read once. I think it was attributed to a US president, which basically said – a chance to work hard at work worth doing. I have loved this form the moment I read it. It’s perfect and in many ways it sums up my life approach to work. Give me meaningful work and then get out of the way. In fact – don’t give me any work. Allow me to work, I will find meaning, reach your objectives and yes – stay out of the way. That’s what I love doing. That drives me to work harder and harder and put long hours. Meaningful work and chance to make a difference to the company and the people around me.

It’s very difficult to define meaningful work. Different people would have different meaning to take from it. I also don’t know what really meaningful work is. The bare minimum is that I would need to find meaning is that I get to learn something interesting from it. Something new every day! That’s the fun bit. What’s the point of doing something same every day. I can’t handle that. When I am teaching I am sure I am doing a great job and helping the kids learn, but that’s not enough. What I really want is to teach new things what I have learnt or seen. New stuff. So teaching is as much about me as it is about the kids. Possibly it’s more about me than anything else.

Work is also I guess therefore more about me. I don’t care so much about the firm and the people in that sense. I know that with my standards of work are high enough for the firm to hugely benefit from it. But that is not the point of it. How can I wake up every day and say, today I will make my promoter happy or richer. He is already a billionaire many times over. That’s not the job is to build what I love and what I am proud of. An amazing practice and an amazing team to run that.

Which comes to the team. I can drive mu kids up the wall on doing good work. I refuse to be satisfied with their work or mine. I quietly admit to them (at times) that their work is awesome but more than anything, I want to always push the work to new boundaries and that they expand themselves in the bargain. Such expansion is not cheap. It will suck their lives, their self-worth, their egos, their commitment and their selves. But it will build a stronger them. A them, that is far more resilient and powerful and smart.

Right now also I am driving my kids’ nuts at work. The sharp ones are getting that the learning curve is immense and that they have to stay on top of it. They are working like crazy. They will reap the benefits of this for years to come. Some just don’t get it. They are not destined to learn more. They are destined to remain where they are and they will rot in there chubby holes. Learn more, work more. Bring boundless energy to work in the morning knowing that you are making a difference to yourselves and to your company and that you are building for the future. This learning is something that your family won’t understand or even remotely appreciate.

I remember that as a young kid, my wife and mother too wanted me to come home early. Later on, I remember talking to Jasmine and explaining to her that if I have to learn and do more, I have to work hard when I have the chance to. It’s not for anybody else or anything special, but it’s for me and my future. If I don’t push myself I don’t learn and if I don’t learn I don’t have a future. Plus, forget all the future, so many times, I don’t need a future… it’s just the present that matter in so many cases. A real chance to work hard. Who is going to argue with that? It adds meaning to my life.

So no I am not a workaholic. I won’t work for a career so much or for work itself. But I am a meanginoholic. I work for meaning and as long as I get meaning I will work. I teach because it had meaning. I play badminton because I find meaning in it. So also for running or swimming. Find meaning and go after it.

Jasmine now understands. She know that work is why we are where we are. The payoffs are great and awesome. Of course she wants more of me at home (I hope). But she realizes that work place is a treadmill on which you run.  I don’t go home tired and worried. Now I am past that. I go back happy that I have worked hard and learnt a lot and taught a lot. That’s important.

Is that worth dying for? I don’t know but absence of meaning is not worth living for. I am trying to find my fitness and I am trying to work towards my goals. I want to lose a few kilos, get leaner, run more and see what else I can do. I want to sleep well and manage that as well. I want to eat well. I am trying to find balance in all this. It’s a good thing. I am loving it.

In the middle of all this, I have not found the time to blog. That is something I have to do as well. Let’s see how I manage this as well. This blog has meaning for me even if Jispa never ever reads it. It has deep meaning for me.

English Literture and Silence

The times, they are a changing. Jispa has been studying regularly and I too have been studying along with her. No this time around its not me studying thanks to her but I am genuinely studying for a damn exam that I have to give. In the insurance industry one has to give some relevant exams if one has to represent the firm in various forums. This Saturday Jispa and I, both sat to study on the dining table. I found myself studying seriously, very seriously. I studied the whole day and finished one book of three that I needed to. It was quite surprising. I hate studying and I hate exams and I can’t bear to give any other one anymore.

The last time I gave a test professionally was around 15 years ago when in the broking industry there was a need for certification. I hated the feeling and I never understood why I should be the one giving the exams. They were meant for the sales and the dealers, not marketing professionals. The only reason the CEO made it compulsory for all, was that each certification was compulsory for each terminal and we needed as many as we could get. The stupid dealers were not competent by themselves to pass these tests and hence it was compulsory for all. He had made it a mandatory thing if you want your bonus.

Even then, studying without a purpose is a complete burden on yourself. I just found it difficult to sit down, remove time and study. But this time around things are different. I don’t know. Possibly because it’s a start up and hence there is a greater sense of a shared vision in me or because it’s just that I am older and saner and wiser and I realize that I have to pass this exam, I am studying religiously. I took a pen and the book and went through the whole book word by word. I took in time to understand the syllabus and try and remember the key points. At the end of the day, it wasn’t a chore; there was something more to it.

Jispa has also been studying like it’s serious business. For her studying is not a bore. She is right now amazing me by making notes of what she needs to study and she is carrying her books everywhere. Yesterday while we sat at the Starbucks at a mall, she was busy making her biology notes. I was talking to her, that I was never ever as serious as her about studying and looking at her makes my heart feel very warm. She is putting pressure on her own to study and do well. She wants to study. I told her that I think that, one of the big factors is also what she is studying. The style of teaching, the text books, the ability to put thought, the teachers, everything is so amazing that you feel like studying. I had a shit load of everything and my life was all about mugging up. That was studying. No application of brain or thought or out of the box thinking in an exam. Just shut up and vomit your brain of all the unwanted shit as fast as possible. If you met me 24 hours after an exam, I wouldn’t have even been able to recollect most of the syllabus. I remember cramming formulas seconds before the exam and running inside the class and writing it on the answer sheet, first thing. Then you can refer to it when you want, as you want.  That was my studies.

Jispa has been writing amazing things for her favorite English literature subject. We share a lot of time discussing stuff about how to interpret her English poetry. The other thing we also spend time over is listening to her music. I am trying to connect to it and am making an effort to listen to it. It’s been largely rewarding. I too have been trying to get out some old songs and getting her to listen to it. One song that V-inu played when we were at his place and which came up in the listening list on internet radio was ‘The sound of silence’ which was re-sung as a cover by Disturbed. It’s an amazing version with a really gruff voice of a rock singer. When melody meets a gruff voice and some tempo changing, it makes for a compelling listening.

Here you judge

But while you do so remember the original by Simon and Garfunkel. It’s a lovely one with the melody coming in through the strumming of the acoustic guitar and the vocals in chorus.

You decide which one is the better one!

But the point is not the music, but the juxtaposition of the poetry. With Jispa and me talking music and English, such music with amazing lyrics suddenly has far more meaning that simple melody

"The Sound Of Silence"

Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone

‘Neath the halo of a streetlamp

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more

People talking without speaking

People hearing without listening

People writing songs that voices never share

No one dare

Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools” said I, “You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you”

But my words like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon god they made

And the sign flashed out its warning

In the words that it was forming

And the sign said “The words of the prophets

Are written on the subway walls

And tenement halls

And whispered in the sounds of silence”

Tell me it’s not poetry and tell me it’s not literature. Garfunkel once summed up the song's meaning as "the inability of people to communicate with each other, not particularly internationally but especially emotionally, so what you see around you are people unable to love each other”

We look at songs as lower art than poetry and pop songs as the way lower. I have argued that pop songs that fire a population’s imagination are as much literature as anything else. I have argues way back in my blog piece ( http://jaimit.blogspot.in/2009/07/time-to-change-times.html ) that Bob Dylan should be taught in schools and then, recently, it gave me joy to know that he got the Nobel Prize for literature. While there has been enough criticism on this, I firmly support the move. It brings song writers within the realm of serious literature. If Shakespeare would have been alive, would we have given him the Nobel or would we have told him that an Oscar is at best what he can do?

The Nobel prize allowed Jispa and me to revisit our friend Dylan while we were returning in the car. She put the music on as we listened to the times, they are a changing’ and “blowin in the wind”. She took my phone and searched for the lyrics online while the song was playing, enjoying the poetry in the composition as much as the melody.  Who knew English syllabus and Music would merge?

 Now that is song writing! If that doesn’t deserve the Nobel then what does.

A Nobel prize is a cash award for sure, it’s a recognition of the individual for sure, but more than anything, its role is to inspire many more to either emulate and try and achieve or simply still, follow the work being done in order to understand and imbibe. Because simple money can come in the form a grant, but real difference comes from the inspiration that recognition brings about. That is the true value of a Prize, especially if it is as big the Nobel Prize.

--

End bonus video of the "Disturbed" singer on singing the Sound of Silence.

oh kaalia, I read your mind?

I have no clue but a colleague suddenly turns up on gtalk and knows I blog and reads it regularly. One day we were having a conversation on my earlier blog. I thought it merited being reproduced here. For sake of everyone around I hide ID. No one really knows who is searching for what tehse days and what can be used against / for you. So in spite of a willing bakra I have decided to withhold ID. But thank you for this conversation and think for encouraging me to write. It does means a lot. Some day Jispa might read all this and smile. Mission Accomplished.

This is about the kaalia blog and if you read this you will understand the meaning of that vague blog. I had meant to write the meaning of this someday but would have forgotten if not for this conversation with this colleague.

--id withheld--: hey do you have 2 minutes
jaimit: i have
but not for you
--id withheld--: :(
okay 1 min
for me#
jaimit: ok done.. only for BD
--id withheld--: whst the hell is o kaalia i read your mind..
jaimit: abhi bol?
heheheheheheheheh
hahhahahahahaha
hohohohohohoh
--id withheld--: i got a headache thinking abt it
jaimit: it is a philosophy
do you really wanna know?
--id withheld--: enlighten me o great one
jaimit: hahahha
ok.. its is from a amarchitrakatha story
--id withheld--: go on...
jaimit: once a fellow sees someone tell a poem to the king
the king gives him gold. seeing this our hero decides to write poetry himself
his wife tells him to get inspiration
so he thinks and thinks
then he gets tired and is fed up of his wife's taunt
so he goes to the lake and tries to drown
the lake has cold water
he starts shivering
he thinks it must be inpiration and then tries heis hand at [poetry
the only thing he sees is a crow
the crowis dipping his beak in the water and sharpening
he then coins the wrds "you dip it in the water and sharpen it again and again ... o kalia i read your mind
then he goes to the king
he tells this to the king
the darbar is silent
the king thinks that no one comes to my court and gives silly gyan.. this must be some deep meaning behind it
so he keeps the man with the gaurds an d spends some days thinking about it.
one day in the morning the king is about to get his beard shaved by the rooyal barber.
the barber is sharpening his blade....
the king to himself remarks
"you dip it in the water and sharpen it again and again... o kaalia i read your mind'
while he says it absent mindedly the barber thinks he is telling him
the barber puts down his blade and asks the king for forgiveness
the king wonders what is going on..
the barber confesses - i was given a bribe by the neighborhood kingdom to kill you... but you already know of my intention...
i am kaalia the barber... i am sorry
--id withheld--: aha
jaimit: so the king feels that the man who wrote the poem is no ordinary man
but actually a prophet
the man goes home with a lot of money
his wife is surprised and happy to see him
" you dip it in the water and sharpen it again and again... o kaalia i read your mind"
there - now you know
the fun thing is that my bro and sis know of the story and the line
and almost no one else
so whenever we say it none understands but we know the gibberish for its worth - gibberish
so we laugh and laugh and the other guy wonders what is so funny
that makes us laugh again.
--id withheld--: aha..
jaimit: hahahahahah
hohohoho
hehehehhe
--id withheld--: this is a good one
jaimit: yes it is
and extremely irritating of you don’t know what
--id withheld--: will try it on a few friends
jaimit: hahahhaahha
and its not even there on the internet
--id withheld--: i wanted to catch hold of you on sunday so i know what the hell it is
jaimit: the only thing that comes up if you search for it is --- guess what?
--id withheld--: what?
jaimit: MY BLOG!!!!!
--id withheld--: ha ha ha
jaimit: why you wanted to catch me on sunday?
--id withheld--: to know what the hell this meant
jaimit: what did you think
some deeeeeeeep meaning/
--id withheld--: absolutely not!
jaimit: on a philosophical level - it actually stands for something
--id withheld--: Jaimit=deep meaning is not possible
jaimit: heheheheh
i love you for hating me
--id withheld--: yes... why not!
jaimit: it is a prophetic kind of phrase
it shows that people take meaning from what is relevant to them
even the stupidest of things hold meaning and value
--id withheld--: trust you to actually give meaning to something like that...
jaimit: have you read the KRA ISE that company sends out
--id withheld--: attempted to.. but never succeeded
to read KRA Ise
jaimit: sometimes i put in nonsense words in the copy
words that mean nothing
but none ever finds out
they get their meaning out of it
including the top to the bottom most employee
you must have read my blogpost where brahma says ' da'
--id withheld--: yes
jaimit: do you remember it?
--id withheld--: i never understood what that meant
jaimit: remember it
--id withheld--: and then something about da da dum or something like that
jaimit: no..
--id withheld--: i do remember the brahma says da thing
jaimit: and the different people, gods and asuras think differently what it means
they get their meaning from it
--id withheld--: yes..
trying to find the damn thing
jaimit: http://jaimit.blogspot.com/2009/06/da-email.html
got it
--id withheld--: ah yes
it was quite nice
now i remember
jaimit: like the nonsense i write for my daughter
--id withheld--: i remembered your little poem in the end
jaimit: she likes it for it is
--id withheld--: so do i :)
jaimit: one could like it for it can be
Dum chik chick bum bumWhat a funny bum bumWhy have you bum bumWhen there is only one bumDum chik chick bum bum
--id withheld--: ha ha
jaimit: it is actually a philosophy question
why do you need two when you need one
--id withheld--: oh dear lord!
jaimit: there is a reason why the spelling of chik is different - chick and chick
chik
--id withheld--: because a chick has one bum
jaimit: no no
--id withheld--: ha ha
then why
jaimit: there are two - bum bum
otherwise the question will be
why two bum bum and why two chick chick
now the only question is that chick and chik is different but bum bum is two
when there is only one bum why two?
--id withheld--: all the very best to Jispa
jaimit: you read that piece on bob dylan
--id withheld--: yes
that was nice
i had just heard th song that day
jaimit: people were thinking too much into the peorty
--id withheld--: so good coincidence
jaimit: what is that answer in the wind
there isnt too much beyond it..
all he is saying is that the answer is in the wind.. simple
but we cant understand it - it can be that simple
--id withheld--: yes sometimes people want complicated answers
jaimit: i purposely like giving innocuously simple lines
those that can twisted into complication
--id withheld--: things too simple sometimes hold no value for people
jaimit: but they really do mean nothing more than what they are
ecjactly
--id withheld--: :)
jaimit: the meaning is - there is no meaning but there could be....
if you want it so be it!
--id withheld--: hmmm....
jaimit: i am thinking about putting this conversation on the blog