gyan ka boon

“Do you have any time when you and the family are just chilling at home, doing nothing?” my boss asked me. That was a tough question.

It started pretty innocuously. There was a long weekend coming up and boss asked me, what my plans are for the weekend. Oh I was excited. The plans were pretty simple. I was meeting up some fitness experts for the kabaddi team. While I do my new job, i am also involved with the kabaddi team as a consultant. I am getting paid for it but largely its a job I doing as a favour for my old boss who owns the team. its run by the son of the big man. the BigMan who owns the bank i worked for is a great guy. He is sweet and largely fair. I owe a lot of my life to him in the end. After all i spent more than 14 years working for his firm. I see this as some way of repaying back to the family. Sure i worked for them and gave them growth and money but they have also been nice to me and repaid me back in many ways. Those 14 years have largely remained very happy and i can look back on it with a certain sense of happiness and accomplishment. So I couldn't say no, when the son wanted my help while he was studying for his management degree.

Also the fun bit is that I am connecting to sport thanks to this. I am able to help take kabaddi to a higher level and hopefully some of the athletes also benefit from this. When they go back with better techniques, better systems, better processes; it makes for a better sporting nation. But then thats easier said than done. these jokers are the typical stereotype of Big Moose. They want to eat a lot and work a lot.  One champion who is going to be our captain while signing with us was very clear. He said that he know what we did last year. We had a diet plan for the players. He said that kabaddi players don't need diet. They eat and play. He wants his sweets, his gulabjamuns, his rasmalais and the lot. Sure. As long as you play and perform - here eat this shit. Bum!

So I was meeting people over the week end and then i had to do some studies with my daughter and then something. So my boss looked at me and asked me “Do you have any time when you and the family are just chilling at home, doing nothing?”. Err. he got me thinking. I couldn't answer. When was the last time we were at home doing nothing? Then he laughed triumphantly - “there I got Jaimit quiet for the first time. Normally he always has some thing to say or some story or something or the other”. Well he is right on two counts - I am always with something to do or the other. My weekends are spent with family doing things or studying or watching movies or at friends or I am teaching or doing some consulting or working with other new startups. The second count - the amount i read or listen to podcasts or something, i always have something or the other to contribute to a conversation. Some story, some anecdote , some gyan. So much exposure helps me be a smarter person and I always try my best to spread what I know all around. I know sometimes it might be understood or interpreted as Smart Alec but hell - it goes with the territory.

So to take my last blog post forward - constant curiosity is what got me here. I am constantly curious. That with a pathologically ingrained desire to help others and spread word, makes me a weird character. learn a lot and spread a lot. Keep giving a lot of gyan. My wife has the most fun. She also calls me the gyan giver. She takes jibes at me for this. Every time she will ask me who did you give gyan to. I think she understands this nature of mine. She has seen me grow from an insecure dumb ass with a lot of verve to this avatar of mine. tons of understanding, gyan and connections. She is used to me meeting people at random places and in cities around the country. I think its a good thing. Will have to figure how it pans out in my life. But i think so far its been a boon rather than not.

sssssh

I was listening to a podcast. The podcast was about being quiet. This was in an interesting program that I stumbled upon – it’s called the TED radio hour. If you have been reading this blog then you must be familiar with the TED videos which are a constant course of fantastic information. The speakers there get 20 minutes at best and the successful ones become overnight worldwide internet celebrities.  This podcast takes these interesting talks and makes a show by creating theme and getting two three talks, stiches them and then supplements them by interviews with the speakers. It’s quite a nice radio show. It makes commuting so much more bearable.

A few days back there was a talk on quiet. It just talks about being quiet and a few talks around it. A few interesting points did come up. One of things I resonated with is the point of being an introvert versus being an extravert. Today in offices or anywhere in social life, being an extravert is being seen as a sign of strength. It’s good to be an extrovert. Leaders are extroverts. We are taught in school to be an extrovert – go out and seize the moment – talk to a 100 hundred people and taught confidently. Reach out and blah blah blah. The speaker argues that in the modern world we have placed a large amount of emphasis on being an extrovert and this is a modern phenomena. Just about a 100 odd years ago there was an emphasis on character that is measured and thoughtful and – introverted.

You know, I was always an outgoing extroverted guy. I couldn’t keep quiet, was happy in the company of people and openly gave opinion on all matters. Happy to take the lead in meetings, talk my mind and do all sorts of stuff. The Quintessential extrovert.  This is what I was taught to do. There are marks given for class participation and I would maximize them. In the last ten years after I started reading I realized that I did not know so much, I taught myself the value of keeping your opinions to yourself. Listen, actively listen! When listening, try and convince yourself that the other person’s point of view is correct and important. This is a difficult thing to do and it is extremely difficult for an extroverted person who jumps to ideas and thinks fast. So my mind works fast and gets the point and I have exhibit extreme impatience while talking…. Dam shit… this creates more enemies and it creates mistakes and it leaves a lot of meat on the table that must be heard completely to have impact in your head.

So its been a 360 degree change for me. While growing up the role models for me were all extrovert but now the role models are in many ways introvert. I am sure the right answer is between the two. I like to brood over, quietly think, and relax in one place with a book. Speak to a few people only on things that are interesting and people who are knowledgeable or thirsty for knowledge. Its interesting how things change.

Two other things I heard on the same program – I knew this story about George  Mallory wherein he was asked in 1924 –why he wanted to conquer mount Everest – He famously retorted “because it’s there”. This is a legend amongst mountain climbers. There is no other real reason to climb a mountain besides the fact that its there, waiting to be climed. This question was asked to a tight rope walker who has walked across various places without a safety net. He retorted with his variation – “because it’s in there”. Which is also true. He does it because inside of him there is something that is in there. Which I thought was cool.

The second thing I was inspired was by the speaker talking about the importance of quiet time. It’s difficult for me to get quiet time. But that is an excuse according to the speaker. If we get time for exercise or going to the gym, then we can definitely get quiet time for ourselves to get our mental balance right. Driving in an around Mumbai is a pain and a blessing in disguise, depending on the way you look at it. I hate the commute but now it has become an amazing opportunity to be in silence and listen to podcasts. I guess podcasts aren’t necessarily silent hour. But it still beats talking to people. I used to use this rule – listen while going to office and catch up on the phone while coming back. Now when I am tempted to reach for the phone and speak on the Bluetooth, I resist and decide to hold on to the podcasts. My silence is golden, you can keep on talking.

My mother would die laughing if she ever read this piece. Her youngest could never be silent and now he is preaching it like he has mastered it. Bull shit.