Subterfuge

Check this. Poor Jispa has been bandaged on her left foot. But there isn’t anything wrong with her left foot. There isn’t a hurt, or even a scratch there. Then why is it there? Jasmine saw this in the morning and called Jispa and me ‘impossible’.

Well I am particularly proud of this one. Jispa had a little bit of fever yesterday night. That’s because she has a puss boil on her left butt. It’s painful and it’s ready to ooze. We started putting medicine on it. The ayurvedic one is a brown paste that seeks to suck out the puss. While the boil itself hurts, putting the brown paste makes it throb and hurt a bit more. The fever today morning was gone but the boil needed fresh dressing. So we dressed it up and got her ready for school. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go to school today. I was ok – sure. This is a good enough reason not to go. Jasmine wasn’t so benign about it. Of course she can go to school. Ya, it hurts but it’s not that bad.

So I was with Jispa later and she said – “you know it’s not because it hurts I don’t want to go. In school there is pushing and pulling and someone will touch the boil and it will hurt like hell.” – and I added “and you can’t really tell them that you have a boil on your bum. It’s too embarrassing.”. “ya” she replied “ and if you tell the buys then they do it all the more”. Hmm. That’s a genuine problem. You have whackos in school you get sadistic pleasures and you have a problem that you can’t really talk about, and you definitely are in pain and you will limp. So “Jispa, here’s one idea.  Let’s bandage another leg in a way it shows so you have a reason to limp and no one need know.” Her face lit up and she said “Yes, that will work”

So we just simply bandaged the other leg and sent her off. This way we address Jasmine’s concern for not bunking frivolously and Jispa concern of not being embarrassed or hurt.

In the end I don’t know if the ploy worked or if her friends really care or anything. But it did get her to school and we had a chuckle or two.

Subterfuge - the end matters more than the means.

 

but you love me daddy

For the interschool elocution she has to get an inspirational poem, an inspirational story or extract of an inspirational speech. Two minutes long… oh god. For a 7 year old! I can’t think of anything … I always believed that these competitions must allow for humor more than anything else. But now it’s an inspirational talk… I guess it’s not the school’s fault, the organizer must have ordained so. Searching the works of Shel I came across this poem… is it inspirational (I hope so)? The problem is inspirational versus morals… the net has tons of inspirational stuff that’s got God in it. Both Jasmine and I hate having inspirational stuff with the omnipresent hand. You don’t need God to get inspired. Can anyone help me get a cute nice inspirational talk/ poem for a seven year old? Though the school has also promised that if we don’t get it they will give us one. but I still think the lester one would do.

On another note – yesterday we were at a fun and fair organized by the preschool organization that one of Jispa’s friends goes to. It was a nicely done thing, with stalls on various games and activities. Jispa was enjoying on her own, hanging around, trying stuff. She came to me saying she wants coupons. I directed her to Jasmine. I then realized that Jasmine had bought 500 bucks worth of coupons for jispa to enjoy. Wow. 500 bucks. That included everything including food and drink. But I remember going to my school fair and having exactly 20 bucks or 50 bucks of coupons to utilize. I am not arguing for inflation. What I know was that they were definitely not enough to play what ever game I wanted and I had to pick and choose to maximize my fun. I had a clear trade off and marginal utility problem to solve. Jispa just went and played everything that caught her fancy. Now 500 bucks for family fun is not a large budget. Silly movies at a multiplex cost much more. But I didn’t know how to reconcile my need to ensure she has fun without too much chindigiri, while teaching her truth of finite resources. I don’t know…
One stall was a photographer getting you to pose inside a box for interesting angles. Jispa came to me and asked if she could go. I was like “it might be expensive and more so, I am a decent photographer. So why don’t you find out how expensive it might be, then we decide.”. She ran there and came back a minute later, “dad, bad news… it costs 250 rupees”. Happily she ran away. I guess we got the balance right.

We reached home and we got to do some dressing on the boil that’s come up. That’s a second one she’s got back to back. This one needed to be burst open. We take an implement and douse it in Savlon to prick it. Jispa was crying a bit purely on the thought of it. I let her attempt to prick it herself. She realized that her boild was a piece of dead skin with no sensation. She then let me gently prick with and had the puss oozing out. a nice bit of growing up.
While we were squeezing it, Jispa suggested I keep talking to keep her distracted. So I went about talking about… you know…mommy faced a pain that was a hundred thousand times more than what you are facing. This was when she gave birth to you. She held my hand very tight and she was hungry and thirsty but she had to deliver on an empty stomach. But we were there for each other. Etc etc….
She then asked. Why did we decide to have a baby. So that you can have fun the baby? I replied that ‘ much more… we wanted a baby to take care of, we wanted be bring a baby into this world, we wanted to play with it, we wanted a baby so that it would hold my hand and cross the road, …” suddenly she curled her lower lip and cried loudly…. Huh... what happened, did it hurt, did I press to hard. What on earth happened? “No, I am just crying because it’s a very nice story. You said very nice things” she replied. Huh? I and Jasmine just looked at each other. We didn’t know how to react. Jispa is a sensitive kid but I guess the boil hurting and the crying that was already happening did affect her a bit. She said even in school she heard a lovely story that moved her a bit in the western music class. It was this one…

Your five year old face is a dirty disgrace(but you love me Daddy)You scatter your toys and you make too much noise(but you love me Daddy)You know little lad you can be pretty bad(but you love me Daddy)You wake me at dawn when i want to sleep on(but you love me Daddy)Now you eat the cookies when i tell you no(But you love me daddy cause you tell me so)you're so hard to scold cause you're my five year old(and cause you love me Daddy)When i dress you up you go play with the pup(but you love me Daddy)When i use the phone you wont leave me alone(but you love me Daddy)You make sister wail pulling her ponytail (But you love me Daddy)You scratch up the floor and you write on the door(But you love me Daddy)You ask foolish questions now you know thats true(But you love me Daddy and you know you do)Your so hard to scold cause you're my five year old (And cause you love me Daddy)

Yup… I love you, kiddy…

coming of age

Jispa had a puss boil in her leg and like all puss boils, it got quite painful. Adding to the whole thing was the ayurvedic stuff we generally use. It’s a vicious black paste that brings the puss out. It makes the dam thing throb like crazy. It hurts like hell. Poor thing went all over the place on Tuesday night. She missed school on Wednesday thanks to the bad sleep and the mild fever. Slowly she came to terms with it. She really hated me for pushing the puss out of the boil. It is very painful. But on Friday night she decided that since she has to remove the puss and papa is not the right guy to do it, she will do it herself. Wow... that’s a big one. She actually squeezed the puss out from the boil herself with some egging on from us. She overcame her pain and the grossness. She squeezed out a lot of it… it was in many ways a coming of age, a step in the hero’s journey. If there was proof that our girl was growing up, had grown up… it was there for us to see. On a lark, I shot the thing on the handycam. It was a bit gross to do so but it will be a good coming of age video. Admittedly one cannot expect wholesome family entertainment in that video, hehehe…

An update on her elocution performance – we don’t know… the results are not announced at an individual level. Marks are given and aggregated at a house level with the house being declared winners. Politically correct I guess. But Jispa and I had a truckload of fun preparing for it.. Especially irritating Jasmine by reciting the poem again and again. it is fun reciting it with her.