Life is all about ups and downs. There is no linearity in
life. Some days you feel good and some days you feel down. Experience is
nothing but knowing this and enjoying when you are up and not worrying too much
when you are down. WE try and smoothen the curve by being less exuberant when we
are on top. We try and save some money for the rainy day. We try and keep a
little joy aside and try and share it with others who might be facing a down
side. That is life.
When I was younger, much younger, I was told to save money
for a rainy day. Rather I was told and fed into the brain that I must save. I will
never forget that one day on my honeymoon, when Jasmine and I were walking from
our hotel in Gwaldam to a Buddhist monastery nearby. We were walking and
discussing our finances. My salary was not more than 10 thousand a month and we
were planning what our expenses would be. It was 6 thousand to mm for running
expenses and around 2 thousand a month for our expenses such as restaurants,
roaming around etc and we had planned to save another 2 thousand for a rainy
day – savings amounting to 24 thousand a year. I really thought that was a good
number at the time.
What I did not realize that my salary and life would turn
and turn again and I would find that number abysmally small. The salary itself
would go up so much that you don’t really need to save money at the start of
your career. So looking back, possibly I should have taken that money and blown
it up on fun things and more vacations and a lot of other things that young
couples would spend on. Possibly a few more dinners. At the start of one’s
career, it is almost futile to save money. I see no point in it the amount
being saved.
But the question is not on the amount but on the habit and principle
of it. One must save as a matter of good governance. Otherwise one gets used to
spending and then that is the end of it all. I think that 2 thousand a month
was important as a beacon and not as amount in itself. It set the tone for us
as a family that looked to save money from the money it made every month. It set
eth tone for Jasmine and me that we will not go beyond our means and save
whatever small amount we possibly could.
For any youngster that is starting off – a simple advice –
enjoy life after setting aside a small amount – pre defined – in the equity
market, either as direct investment in stocks or as a mutual fund
investment. That’s it – rest must be
used to live life to the fullest. When any young kid asks me for investment advice,
I first tell them to blow money on their passions. Travel, read, meet people,
do a lot of fun things and try and achieve your objectives in life. You can
only do that when you are younger. When age burdens you with responsibilities,
so many things go off the window. I would think a 100 times today before
jumping off a cliff in a hang glider today. I would have gladly done it as a 25
year old.
Youth must be enjoyed to the best of its ability. Money will
follow. As you grow older, the simple principle is to not let your life expand
at the same pace as your salary. This way you enjoy but you save an incremental
percentage of your growth. That is the best way to look at life and money, and
still live your life.
These days I am in a different zone as a parent. Many years
ago the book I read on parenting told me the one rule that I won’t forget ‘permit
where you can, protect where you must’. As Jispa is 15, I more than ever keep
it in my head. I am trying my best to let go and stop being too protective
about her. I keep having conversations with Jasmine on this. Jasmine and I
often talk on how much we must allow her. Suppose there is a sleep over at a friend’s
place from school – is this allowed? I understand where Jasmine is coming from.
We don’t know the person properly and their family and hence must we send. Will
this become a precedent? Will this be used again and again? I don’t know.
Honestly, I tell her that ‘I don’t disagree with you’. Yes Jasmine is right but
also Jispa is 15 now and she must learn to be away and make decisions for
herself. She has to now take charge of her life. I keep telling that at 15 my
parents had no clue what I was doing in life. I was on my own. What jasmine
also reminded me was that I was always regretted that my parents did not push
me right. All they did was give me lectures on studying but did not really create
or manage my schedule that made me study. So in that respect Jasmine is right.
We must push Jispa now. This is not the time to let go of the accelerator.
After 15 years of hard work, this is not the time to give up.
But at the same time she needs an advocate on her side as
well. So I guess that is my job. I at heart agree with jasmine but I fight
myself and try and fight for freedom from Jispa’s side as well. That is
important in the family. Now at this age we need to push the bar on what we
allow. We have to let her free but slowly cut the umbilical cord. This is
delicate procedure where you don’t know which side to err on. Safety first or
freedom first. Sigh. Parenting is a tough job. Best of luck to you all.
