colossal waste of everything

Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon introduced a number of interesting policies at Amazon. One of the things he said was the two pizza team rule. This is so dam interesting. He said teams must not be greater than what two pizzas cannot feed. So, in many ways the team size is restricted to 5 -7 heads. This is right.

We went to an offsite over the week end. One of the things that I will do when I ever become the head of a business, is that I will ban off sites. First things first, why should we need to go off location to discuss and have ‘strategic’ discussions. In an off site you take half the company along with you. You seat them in a conference room and then sit to discuss some company strategic goals. Half the jokers in the conference room are bored, half don’t understand anything, half don’t want to give opinion, half don’t care, half don’t get it, half only want to give their opinion, half think the world is wrong. In case you are wondering, these are not mutually exclusive and hence you can have so many halves. In the end, no one really does anything big and no real decisions are taken and almost every delivery is forgotten.

My preference for all these decisions are simple. They should be taken in a small room with a small number of people who actually matter and who are smart enough to add value. I just can’t handle an extra bunch of crowd in a room.

I HATE OFF SITES.

The only official off site that I think ever helped was once where we went on a training program which had all of us playing games all day. We went to a simplistic place with basic facilities where they made us play all sorts of games out doors. These were interesting games, obstacle courses and physical and mental games. We were there for two days and thanks to the plethora of games, the teams kept rotating and you got to interact with people from all the departments. That is one off site format that I agree with. What’s the point of being off site, if all you are going to do is be indoors? Strategy can be done within the four walls of the office. Bonding can be better effected outside the confines of office and by doing all sorts of fun games. That’s the fun thing to do. Still there is no guarantee of team play or anything, but at least the team feels nice for a few days afterwards and that is something to build on.

Over the years, I have learnt that my instincts are better than anything else. Too many people do too many things and of all things they are guilty of, is trying too much. Work and office is simple. The principals are simple, you learn from your experience and you try and stop making mistakes that you were subjected to by your bosses.

I remember the first off site I ever went for. This was at Sariska wild life sanctuary. Here my big memory was the sales head, taking the case of the Area Sales Manager while he was making a presentation to everyone. It was designed and pre-decided to publicly humiliate him. The best part of all this is that the ASM was so used to this being a sales system forever, that it did not even hurt him. He was just standing there. Today was his day, next year it would be somebody else’s turn. What a joke.

That’s why the simple wisdom of Jeff Bezos trumps everything else. Small teams solving real problems and taking the firm forward, one problem at a time. Most of the time, we simply get people in an offsite, just so that people don’t feel bad.

At my earlier firm, when the money was good and flowing, I have been to off sites to Turkey, HongKong, Singapore and Srilanka in addition to countless Indian destinations. My best story on this is that I actually flew to London in business class to attend a 2 hour useless meeting on strategy. Like really! I wasn’t complaining. I felt like I had arrived in life. I loved the business clas travel and I loved hanging around in London for a couple of days as if it’s a regular cool thing, I wore my woolen suits and I showered at the Business class lounge at Heathrow on arrival before going for my meeting. Why should I complain?

The best is that all of this came to a sudden halt post 2009 when the financial crisis hit the world and money dried up. Off sites dried up and all useless spend was frowned upon. Forget hotels, now we were staying in guest houses, if we did have to travel. Business class became restricted to only the upper echelons of power and for the rest travel became only on an “if and must” basis.

Now these excesses are going to crop up again. I will try and resist but it’s going to be impossible. One of the reasons it had climbed dizzying heights in my previous company was the simple factor of having a company-wide newsletter. Every group company / division was tasked once a quarter to report some interesting achievements of the business and the only thing that everyone reported was the amazing offsite they had. Everyone would read this and go to their boss and ask for an offsite themselves and since they were doing better than that division, they deserved a better location. Slowly slowly, these locations started going to 5 stars, exotic places and then, they started to reach abroad. Once that happens, all hell breaks loose. The boss is depicted as a loser for not being able to swing something exotic enough and he was forced to get something interesting so as to retain / stamp his authority on the team. What crap. Institutions are full of people; people are full of ego. A multitude of ego combing together create a mad house where anything is possible. I am so done with these jokers. But I also know that my rant is the version of the stove calling the kettle black.

So yes, off sites are still the worst thing in the world and I hate them to the core. They are a waste of money, time and bandwidth. BAN THEM.

balancing it out

Coldplay, possibly the biggest band of the current time was to play in India. In Mumbai. A friend of mine, one day called me – “Arey boss, tell me fast, I am on the site and I can book tickets for the Coldplay concert. Tell me now and I will book now”. “How much for the tickets?” I enquired. “15 thousand for a ticket and we are all going. Tell me now and I will book.”. I thought about it for a minute and said – sure. I know Jispa likes Coldplay and I know that they are not going to be in India again and again and hence I booked the tickets. I came home and had a chat with jasmine – the tickets were definitely pricey. But that was no issue. We could always sell them later on. Then I sat to understand what tickets we bought. These were for the Global Citizen show which had a whole host of people performing and Coldplay was one of the many attractions. I searched more and realized that kids under 18 were not allowed. Ok – that was a bummer and then I offered the tickets for sale.

After us, most the friends who had also booked along with us, offered the tickets for sale and very few were really going. I explained the same to Jispa. She was disappointed but understood. Closer to the event news started filtering that young ones are going to be allowed as long as they are accompanied by an adult. As the tickets came in last week, it was clear, kids above 12 were allowed if accompanied by an adult. Hence the tug of war had already started. Between a friend and me we had six tickets of which 2 had been sold. So it was 4 left and we decided that he would get his daughter and I would get Jispa and got o the concert. If someone was willing to buy all four then only we would sell. Then another twist came in – Jispa had an interschool competition that day. I was ok bunking. Jasmine said – no issues, she can finish the competition and come. The concert was to start from 1.30 pm and last till around 10 pm. So she could always go late and obviously Coldplay would be the last performance. This was then the plan. One day before the organizers put out a bomb – no entry after 4 pm. Oh man – that meant waiting in line from 2.30 pm at least. Now what? So then I tried selling the tickets again online, on some facebook forum. Then my friend told me that I shouldn’t sell his tickets since he had promised his daughter. In all this Jispa had earlier been quite ok to sell the tickets or else we would go. In the end it was a chaos. I was getting a buyer and then I called to be sure. Now Jispa was feeling like she really wanted to go and WTF, and all hell was breaking loose. She also had a sore throat and a cold and was wondering what to do. Plus, the swim meet. What would she tell the coach? The pressure was real, decide now, I have some guy ready to transfer funds NOW. In the end, the call was taken – sell. Fine. I got a buyer and closed the deal with an advanced payment. Deed done. Now to sit and feel guilty about the whole process. Jasmine and me were feeling really bad. We knew she wanted to go and we bought the freak expensive tickets, but we just couldn’t make it happen.

So on the day we just simply sat in front of the TV screen and watched the concert live. Watching it on TV was a mixed reaction. It was an amazing concert with some amazing performances but then we noticed that the silver passes (which we sold) were really far away from the stage, unless you try and squeeze right in front near the barricades and risk getting crushed by the crowd behind you. There was no way that the passes were worth the 15k that we spent on them. We felt happy that the passes were sold. Jispa and me spoke about it and we discussed how badly a waste of money they actually were. I felt guilty that she did go but I also felt relieved that they were sold off. Even at 15k a pass if you are going to be that far away from the stage, it doesn’t really add up.

But we still felt really bad. We wanted her to go to the concert but it wasn’t to be. The next day my friends report came in. It was the most horrible moment of his life. The water was over most of the time, the food was over, the lines were long, the dust was too much, the stage was far, the performer wasn’t seen and the phones didn’t work. There in short – was the experience that ticket paying fans are going to be subjected to. On TV it looks like an awesome performance and it was. Chris Martin was awesome; the energy was infectious but the whole experience of seeing it live was a bad one. I spoke to Jispa about it. I had a chat with her. Sure it was bad and sure we couldn’t go because she was unwell and she had her events, but she deserved the right to go and see it for herself, experience it for herself and know firsthand what it takes to be at a rock concert and see for herself how bad it is. All the kids of course who went there, thoroughly enjoyed it. They are ok being hungry and thirsty and pushed around. They want to be there and experience what it is to breathe the same air as their band and they want to say ‘I was there’. Well so be it.

So now I told her that when she grows up, I would be happy to fund her concert and the ticket of her boyfriend as well. Ah… no reaction besides that of mild disgust. Jasmine is quietly still feeling bad and went online to check when is Coldplay next performing. She figured there is one concert in Singapore for Jispa to attend on 1^st April. I am happy to send them but I think that plan too fizzled out thanks to Jispa’s school.

I think there will be more moments for her to enjoy and more rock concerts for her to go to. Possibly the environment that we expect for her is way to sanitized. Maybe we aren’t able to set her free. She is now 14 plus and she needs her freedom. We check on her too much and we bother her too much. I think it’s time we set her free. I don’t think we should monitor her too much now. In the exams we told her that if you get good grades studying the way you do, then we are going to back off. I am keeping to my word. She gets her grade and I stay off. She can study the way she wants to and listen to music while she studies. I am not going to say anything. My dad used to tell me that he would force me to study and be after me till the tenth grade, after which he would simply stay off. I appreciated it a lot. He was true to his word. He never once questioned me on my marks or what I did or anything in college. He stayed true. So now one full generation down, can we not go down two year and three grade years. Now that Jispa is in the 8^th, she should be largely left alone. Left alone in her swimming and left alone in her studies. What more can you do. You can’t keep pushing your kid on this. Permit where you can and protect where you must.

I also realized that now Jispa has different issues in life. He issues would be interpersonal, boyfriends, girlfriends, attention, friendships, interpersonal. Here I don’t think she should come to us to sort them. She has to sort them herself. Sure she needs help, but not the in your face and let me tell you what to do help, but more subtle ones. I had a chat with her. I told her that now her issues are going to be her own and she will face them. She is going to find it funny to talk to us on them. She must talk to others, she must have friends who are elder to her and would chat with her. I told her that I would tell her about my issues that I had as a child and how I dealt with them, the mistakes I made and the various different experiences I had. I have opened up to her on my adolescence in the hope that she learns from it. She doesn’t need to find Buddha on the road, she needs to find them in her head. In the stories that she has seen around her, from the experience that history teaches her. She has to eliminate some basic errors or at least learn fast from them. Errors will happen, shit will hit you but you have to learn. If you learn fast you will grow better.

Somebody asked me if I would rather be old as today or go back 20 years. That is a crazy question. I am far better off today than I was 20 years before. I am healthier, smarter, more patient, richer, more aware of myself and my surroundings, more confident and everything else. I rather be today than yesterday. Possibly that’s a sign of a well maturing individual as much as it is a sign that I had a stupid childhood. Who knows.

At 41, my body is fats showing signs of wear and tear. I heal slower and I feel I can’t do the things that I used to do earlier. But I still like it. 20 years ago I was a thin kid with 16 kgs less mass and infinitely less money and even less confidence. I think 40 is a great balance. Yes, I am losing hair and that took some time to get adjusted to, but hell, it’s fun. I guess, I have to now fight to keep the balance that is there with me alive. This seems just right.

my search for meaning with my daughter

One of the best things we did on this vacation is the decision of coming back to Mumbai in the Rajdhani train. When we were young train travel was always second class and always non air conditioned. It did not matter where we traveled, this was the mode of transport. I remember going from Mumbai to Kolkata by train in a second class non A/c train. This was the norm. Somehow I also do remember trains being far cleaner than what they are now. We would get down at the stations and fill our jugs with water and buying bottled water was never on the agenda. But eating out for a Gujju family was an anathema. We would have lunch and dinner and breakfast packed along with tea. There was a box my mom once bought from Kolkata. It was called the patharo, I think. It was a mid sized aluminum box which was used to store food for a journey. We would carry theplas, khakras, pickles, tea and everything while travelling. Food was an essential part of the travelling. We liked our food and we kept it with us, everywhere we went.

I think the first time we went in an air-conditioned train was when I was in college (around 1995-95). The demand for air conditioned trains was going up and people then started travelling in the Ac trains. I remember using the Rajdhani for the first time and it was a lovely experience. You get your beddings, a bottle of water, all meals and an ice cream as a desert. Hah! It was heaven. As we (the economy) got richer, we used the AC train for more often. It was definitely the AC and if you are feeling rich then you use the second AC, otherwise the third AC was the minimum norm. The big difference is that the second AC has two beds bunked up on either side and the third AC has three on either side. And the second AC have the horrible unwashed dirty shitty curtains. I hate those curtains. I hate touching those dirty curtains.

For a long while it was the AC trains that we used till we got even richer (here we is economy and family). Also the price of airline tickets also started to fall. We started flying everywhere on vacations. It saved time and time on vacation is money. You want to use the time to enjoy your vacation, not travelling to a place.

This time, while we were planning the vacation, we decided to take the train back from Delhi. I thought that the best time to have a conversation with your daughter is in a train. Rajdhani is the best of them all. No stress while travelling, no random people climbing on and reasonably clean with your food taken care of. We got one upper side bunk. Jispa climbed onto it and made herself at home. I joined in after her in some time. We then started talking. I started explaining to her the US elections. How they are managed and how the President is elected. Of course nothing is that simple when I am explaining anything. I took two hours to explain the whole thing, including the election of Bush and Bill Clinton. It was an awesome conversation. In the middle while I was explaining to her how a friend of mine was in a government job in India, working for a minister, she was quite amazed and she asked me why I did not tell her about it before. I simply said – we don’t have time these days as we are all busy with a lot of other things. I later told Jasmine about this and we both smiled. We both knew that I always have time, but she is too busy these days and too moody and too much of a teenager to listen. She is lost in her phone or in her music or in something else altogether.

The Rajdhani experiment was a success. I look forward to many more such successes. Now that she is growing up and she has a mind, I am finding interesting things that we can share. We also booked trains to Dehradun from delhi. Here I shared my kindle with her and asked her to read another book summary that I had. This book has influenced me a whole lot. It lead bare the marketing of food and how the food giants got us to eat more, much more unhealthy but tasty food. It’s called Salt Sugar Fat. I had read the detailed summary and then recently I had bought the full book. I had the summary on the Kindle and I got Jispa to read it. She read it and enjoyed it. We then could discuss elements of the book and understand how the bliss point is achieved by the manufacturers. It’s quite an interesting book and is easily my top read. But the real fun is when I could discuss it with my kid.

With the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU)movies coming out, another point of mutual fun is getting developed. Jispa and I went for the Doctor Strange movie together. Jasmine is not a great fan is happier sleeping this one out. I enjoyed watching it with Jispa and laughing on all the attitude jokes with her. Then at the end of it, I explained to her the concept of the infinity stones and how the MCU has used it across all their movies to tie it all in together.  Now that was a seriously cool bro moment (we call each other bro and we fist pump. Yes… sigh). I know that because there are enough and more, young MCU fans in my office who are original comic book hero worshippers. Then we sat at home and looked up videos and blogs that explained the concept of the infinity stones and how all the movies in the MCU somehow connect to one or more of the infinity stones coming towards a huge final showdown. This is so bloody serious. The guys at MCU must have be crazy to take such an audacious move wherein they are thinking years in advance where the movies have story lines that are crisscrossing each other towards a grand finale. Every superhero story is to be seen in relation to the other, with Easter eggs in all of them. Discovering this is awesome, telling it to your teenage daughter to see her mouth wide open – priceless.

If this much bonding wasn’t enough – we are suddenly now reading a book together. This one is deadly serious - Man's Search for Meaning;  a 1946 book by Viktor Frankl chronicling his experiences as an Auschwitz concentration camp inmate during World War II. He is a Psychologist by profession and was thrown into a concentration camp. He uses the experience to delve deep into the mind of man and comes out to share his experience. He tries to be as objective as possible in explaining his situation and his experience. Then he explains how people who survived probably found more meaning in their life than others. Jispa and me are reading it at the same time. She folds the top of her page to mark her page and I use the bottom. The book is divided into two sections and the second section of the book explains describing his psychotherapeutic method, which involved identifying a purpose in life to feel positively about, and then immersively imagining that outcome. This was in my to-read list sine a long time, We found it in a mall in Dehradun and picked it up immediately as train reading for Jispa and me. The book has been an outstanding revelation. In many ways it resonates with what I think is true in life and have known it to be true for me. It captures beautifully the essence of what I think is purpose and meaning in daily trials. Most importantly – it talks about sufferings as being something in which you find meaning.

I have read Buddha and his various teachings and lessons. There also there is talk of suffering as real and an important part of life. I never did understand that till now. I always used to think that suffering cannot be the motive of life and how can it be the truth of life. Aren’t we all trying not to suffer, then why must we accept suffering as an important meaning of life. Here, reading this book at age 41, I realise what suffering is. To extract meaning and purpose in life we do things. We aim, we achieve, we face degection and sadness and we face trails and tribulations, we strive and we work, we think and plan. The moment we do anything we are expending effort. This effort for me is suffering. Jispa finds meaning in her tough swim schedule. She braves cold waters, tough workouts and sore ness in her body. She suffers but in that suffering she finds meaning and that is why she does it.

This what I explained to Jispa while we were discussing the book and I explained that I never did understand it till I was 41 and I read this book. Was it the book or was it the maturity? Many books are awesome but in many ways you are probably too young or too old to read it or understand it. Many books are awesome but they are not there for you at the right time or the right mental frame of mind.

Who would have known that a book is all about timing and at the right time it finds relevance and meaning?

While reading and buying books on amazon, it’s a fun thing to see the reviews and understand the book before you end up reading it. The negative reviews are also there which enhance the experience of the book. At first, some negative reviews used to discourage me from buying the book. As if I was searching for some holy grail and wanted to use my time (arrogance) only for reading the best of the best. But now, I also understand that it’s only a point of view. The book is a point of view, the reviews are a point of view and you as a reader is only reading and forming a point of view. There is no real truth, as in everything is relative. And in books, there is also the question of timing. Hence it’s nice to read the reviews and nice to understand them, but you still have to make up your mind on your own. And never let anyone stop you from reading your book. Because I have often said that even the worst book in the world will tell you why it’s the worst book in the world. So there is knowledge everywhere.