Jispa’s school is getting on my nerves. It’s not her school
in particular that’s to blame it’s the dam bloody education system. I have
blogged earlier that our education system does not allow the child to ask
questions and probe or even confront the teacher. It is a hopeless power
equation in school. The teacher is all powerful and the rest of the students or
anyone else can take it or leave it. Last year we let go when her teacher
corrected her wrongly on the meaning of the term ‘light year’. At Jispa’s
behest we kept quiet and did not ask her to go to school with the right definition.
But yesterday I knew I had to knock some defiance into Jispa.
I was waiting to have dinner with jasmine while she was trying
to do Jispa’s home work. I dozed off when Jispa woke me up call me. I went
outside and I saw Jispa and Jasmine at opposite sides of the homework. Jasmine
was explaining how it should be done and Jispa was sticking to exactly what her
teacher had asked her to do… exactly by the letter. In Jispa’s way the sticking
activity was impossible with the pictures she had. Jispa was explaining exactly
how her teacher wanted it. Jispa was adamant. Normally I just let Jispa get her
way and tell Jasmine to give in. I remember my dumb arse teachers. They would
give very clear specific instructions. They obviously wanted regimentation and
refused to see anyone move away from the straight and narrow. They did not want anyone straying and their
job was to produce clones. Creativity was not encouraged or tolerated. There was
only one way to do a particular job. As Ken Robinson argued in his TED video,
that this was a product of the industrial age where students were needed who
could simply mass produce goods and services and fall in line with the systems
and processes set up.
I had kept quiet for long. I knew the pain of standing up
and sticking to your gun. Once my dad was called into school as I argued with
my teacher. I knew I was right and she was just being a pain. You just can’t
win. But yesterday I had enough. I explained to Jispa, “look Jips, I understand
and I hear you. I know what your teacher ordered you to do. You are right in
explaining that to us but in principal what your mom is doing is also right. It
is correct given that you have larger pictures (the whole argument was on how
to arrange pictures on a time line). Last year your teacher taught you some
wrong stuff on the light year etc, I kept qiet but this year you are in the fifth
standard. It’s time for you to stand up. This is not wrong and if your teacher
scolds you for it, I will talk to her or write her a letter explain how that is
not the right thing to do and how this time line is not incorrect. This is the
way it’s done in so many places on the internet and encyclopedias. If your
teacher tells you that you are wrong don’t just take. Talk to her politely and
tell her that you did this with your dad and he explained it to you how it was
right.”. Jispa told me that she wouldn’t be able to tell her that. At which
time I explained to her “Listen, I am not telling you to talk rudely to her. But
you must be polite and yet explain to her why you are thinking the way you are
thinking and that you are not wrong but don’t be rude. Even Gandhi told the British
that they were wrong but he did so with a lot of respect. Didn’t you see that
in the movie?” The penny dropped. She was better. And she got it done in the
way her mom was helping her.
I looked at Jasmine. It takes two to do parenting. It’s not
possible for one to have all the patience required. One is near the problem and
tends to get exasperated; the other is a bit away and can take a bird’s eye
view. You clearly need two to work.
But more importantly I think gave Jispa the courage to stand
up for what she thinks is right. When my dad got called to school, he heard me
and told me that you weren’t wrong in saying what you said but you can’t argue
like this with the teacher. That is the wrong thing to do. That’s the story I explained
to Jispa as well. Say it but say it with respect. And you have to stand up for
what you think is right. I think not getting Jispa to explain that light year
was a wrong lesson to teach her.
You have to stand up and not bow down to a teacher. I explained
to Jispa that listen – don’t worry. We pay school fees and the teacher is
expected to teach you right things. She can’t just scold you for something that
isn’t wrong. You go ahead and be respectful and I will back you up. You have to
assert yourself. Jispa is an amiable kid. She doesn’t like confrontation. She is
a sweet heart with no interest in girl politics. But I guess it’s time for her
to assert. She is beginning to do that with us and we aren’t taking it too
well. I try and avoid a show down and take it diplomatically. I try and select
the fights and the issues. The trick is to get her to assert on the right
issues and be smart about it all. Talking to people in the right way while
being what you want to be is life!
