continue horsing around

Today’s newspapers had an interview with the Indian cricket batsman Gautam Gambhir. He has been quite a revelation for Indian cricket and has quickly climbed the heights. The interview was after the Indian T20 world cup debacle. It seemed like a planned interview designed to elicit positive PR for the team. I am fine with the strategy. Positive PR is required and is many times an effective thwart against some really hostile press. But something he said caught me mind. The interviewer asks:

“I believe one Shaun Tait snorter left a crack on the bat, but you are continuing to use it... Yeah, it is there on the shoulder of my main match bat. I am using it because I want it to keep on reminding myself that I had an ordinary World Cup. It’s just a motivation thing really.”

My parents always encouraged me to go on stage and never bother about stage fright or anything else. I some how remember my dad a lot. He always encouraged me not to fear. I realise what Gautam is saying is not about fear. It’s about reminding yourself that you didn’t succeed. But I see it as a slightly different way. I see it as a means to come back. Not by erasing the past and wished it did not happen. By knowing and being aware and doing more.
Sometimes while batting there is some really fast bowling that one faces. It cant scare you. On more than one occasion I have faced bouncers that have whizzed past my nose. These are designed for you to go on the back foot. Arun, my captain and coach had also taught me to stand outside the crease for the fast bowler and negate most leg before decisions. After a bouncer that I managed to miss, I would tell myself “hey, I saw it. I could duck and weave out of the way. Sure I was surprised and I don’t have the talent to hook it but I have enough ‘eye’ to move out. Keep batting. Fresh guard will again be outside the crease. If you want me in the crease, you will have to risk your wicketkeeper nose by asking him to stand up”.
You have to face up to your obstacles. You have to go back and play it.

Once in Matheran, we had to go down the market. I asked Jasmine to carry on and I told her that Jispa and I would come down on the horses. With Jispa standing beside me I was mounting a horse. While I was mounting my foot slipped off and I fell. The horse was startled and he lifted his feet and bounced about. Luckily I was not in the way, nor was Jispa. But the horse sufficiently excited every other horse around and the other horse men had to hold on tight to the reins. Quite a scary experience and Jispa too was scared. I held Jispa tight and smiled. The original horse and his man quickly disappeared. A moment to gather our senses and we were going back on another horse. I thought about what my dad would have done. Walking out at the time would have taught my kid to be scared of the horse. I was not going to do that. Come on Jispa let’s get back on and ride another one. Jispa was a bit shaken. She was about 5 or 6. But I felt that she took her cues from me and she was on another horse confidently riding with me.

You have to get back and conquer whatever little fear you have. You don’t have to forget the past; remember it, learn from it. You have to get stronger. Resilient

I have had this tryst with horses my whole life. I remember all the time I have had bad experiences with horses. As a kid in Kashmir when the horses ran amok with my brother, me and another friend each on a different horse running in a different direction. With one horse man running trying to get them all in control. I was around 8 or 10 years old and the horse man gave me signal to pull the reins as he ran for the others. I pulled and the horse lifted his front feet and I must have looked like Sunny Deol. The horse came to a stop. I remember the incident clearly and I remember not felling scared. I was probably too little to be scared. The man then finally got all the horses under control and we got to the hotel. He kept telling my dad what a near brush we had had, how this little boy was very brave. I probably was too small to know but the incident has been etched in my mind. “I am brave on a horse.”
I have fallen off a horse near Yamnotri as the saddle broke. As it broke, I tried falling to my right as on the left was a deep ravine. Lucky me. On our honey moon in Nainital early morning, the horse I had wanted to be a little funny as well. I remember the horse man telling me, if I would have been a Bengali then the entire Nainital would have woken up. Hah. He doesn’t know what I have been through. I even remember my dad falling off a horse only to get back on top to ride with us. That’s the way we ride.

the blind spot

Arrogance almost cost me something very important and good. HR sent a mail saying that they are organising a yoga class which will be held in the premises. Which was very good according to me. Then I read on … it said that the yoga class will cost some amount. They did not disclose the amount.

“Hence please rush & send in your entries to the following mail id latest by February 08, 2010. Please note that participation will be on a first come first serve basis. This opportunity comes to you at a small price which we will let you know shortly.”

The amount never came in. I was like what on earth. How can you expect me to respond when you don’t tell me what the amount is? Tch tch what arrogance. Then one of my team members who had enrolled came to me and said that she had enrolled and it was around 700 bucks. She urged me to enrol. I sent a mail to one of the HR personnel and left it at that. No response. I didn’t pursue it much further. More arrogance. I had sent the mail nah!
Then I came to know that the class was full. 20 slots were all taken. After a couple of classes I asked around and found that hardly seven to eight regularly attend. There was room. I barged in one day and started attending the sessions. Lets see who has the balls to throw me out.
Nobody did. It has already made an impact in my life. My back feels much better. Soon enough HR reconciled and added me in and I paid the fees today. Cool nah?
My arrogance almost cost me a berth but my resilience bailed me out. Bach gaya saala.
Sometimes in our arrogance we don’t realise what we end up missing. Our arrogance in making the first move – “she should say something nah!” Our arrogance in ignoring advice, etc etc. my own personal arrogance that I fight daily because I read a lot so I think I know a lot. Our arrogance does not let us enjoy movies, plays or even simple things in life.
I have to and I will fight it daily and everywhere. I must.

shit happens

Resilience
The physical property of a material that can return to its original shape or position after deformation that does not exceed its elastic limit
An occurrence of rebounding or springing back
Resilience is the property of a material to absorb energy when it is deformed elastically and then, upon unloading to have this energy recovered. In other words, it is the maximum energy per unit volume that can be elastically stored.
Resilience in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe. It is also used to indicate a characteristic of resistance to future negative events. In this sense "resilience" corresponds to cumulative "protective factors" and is used in opposition to cumulative "risk factors". The phrase "risk and resilience"' in this area of study is quite common. Commonly used terms, which are essentially synonymous within psychology, are "resilience", "psychological resilience", "emotional resilience", "hardiness", and "resourcefulness".
The mental ability to recover quickly from depression, illness or misfortune.
The physical property of material that can resume its shape after being stretched or deformed; elasticity.
The positive ability of a system or company to adapt itself to the consequences of a catastrophic failure caused by power outage, a fire, a bomb or similar.

Escapist
Intended for or tending toward escape; especially, used to avoid, deny, or forget about reality, as through fantasy
Someone who wants to escape; especially from reality
Escapism (an inclination to retreat from unpleasant realities through diversion or fantasy)
A person who escapes into a world of fantasy