What is aggression?
Going out and showing outwardly aggression. Showing off your
anger. Pushing people, pumping fist, hitting hard shots. What is aggression?
I admit. I instinctively belong to the conventional wisdom
of aggression. Trying hard and pumping fast. Show your aggression. Show your
anger. Show your intent. Make it count. By nature I am an aggressive person. I
used to use aggression to push myself in various situations. It helped me get
my first job. They put us in a group and gave us topics for a group discussion.
They also told us ‘kill the other guy if you need to but make your point and
let it be heard’. What else would I want? That was all the invitation I needed.
I pumped hard and maxed the discussions. Talking loud when chaos looms was my
specialty.
But what got you here would not get you there. My age
perhaps and my experience for sure has helped me change my aggression. I would
say temper it… I would say change the way it manifests. A strong defensive shot
is also aggression. Cricket has taught me that leaving the ball outside off
stump is also aggression. In badminton, placing the shuttle quietly is also
aggression. Trusting yourself and pushing
yourself in way that no one sees is also aggression.
See this video
I love this video. It typifies for me all that is
aggression. All that is right and wrong about aggression. The Singaporean is
outwardly aggressive. He is hitting the ball hard and fast. He is dominating
the rally, but look at the Nigerian. He is focused on putting the ball back.
Simply knocking it back into the table. Shot – Tap – Hard Shot – Tap – Harder
Shot – Tap. No matter how far you are pushed and how less you dominate the
game, finally the aggression can be simply in putting the ball back.
If you see his focus and see his anticipation and see how he
released his pumped up aggression after the shot, you will realize that this
sports person is as aggressive as the Singaporean. Not less. That is the
aggression I am trying hard for.
Aggression that has no visual cue. Aggression that is
internal. Aggression that has meaning. Aggression that is not self-destructing.
It’s not that I can preach because I have achieved this. I haven’t.
God knows I haven’t. But I am trying hard. Real hard. I have learnt it’s always
better to be internally aggressive than externally so. But its a Buddha state, so painstakingly impossible to achieve. But the
best way to achieve it is to have someone as a counterfoil. If you want to
teach someone to not be aggressive then you have to not be so yourself and that
helps you realize what it is to be such and what it takes. Teaching has helped
me with many such instances. When I took up the teaching assignment around12
years ago I did not know it would permanently change me so. I have become a teacher in class and in
office and at home. It has helped me in many ways that I cant really understand
or fathom. But surely it has helped me channelize my famous ‘doshi’ temper as
my mom calls it.
My mom still thinks I have the doshi temper, possibly
because she sees the temper. The aggression in me still. It may be masked for
others but for my mom it may be just a different mifestation of the aggression.
To her I may have never reduced my aggression. Possibly she is right.
Aggression is core to me. I cannot possibly change it. can I fight genetics,
but I can surely change the way it comes out. Aggression that is internal as
the Nigerian showed can be different, useful and even heart warming. The goal
is to reach there, inch by inch!
Inch by inch. Here is the other more glamorous side of
aggression. This is what people call aggression and movies like these promote the
notion of aggression that leads to results! Possibly it works as its easier to inculcate
and transfer. But I doubt if this aggression is what leads to results. Matches
and competitions are won in the head and not with your arms and limbs. They are
there after years of practice but what makes you win – it’s the head.
Inch by inch –
Now listen to this as well….
This is also highly motivational. One could argue that this
is what motivates people.
On the face of it this completely debunks everything I have
said. But I would argue otherwise. I think this completely proves everything
that I have said. The champion lies inside me. It is me. It is for me to figure
what I have to do to be the champion. And more than anything, if I have to win I
have to have belief in myself and in my ability – because who am I? I am a
champion!
See the video below – the same wordings being used at
possibly a talk before the game. Possibly to push the players.
But if you are losing and on a losing streak would this be
something you want to mumble. I would argue not. But if you are a strong team
and you love each other and back each other, you would scream this out even if
you were losing. This I argue is nothing but a war cry, a chant that makes you
feel like a team, because you shout out something in unison. It is a bonding
ritual and it gets you going (it definitely gets me going) because we are at
heart the hunter gatherer, the team that works together and fights together, because
you can only hunt if you are a pack. Alone a hunter is often just simply dead! This
riual makes you a part of a team. A team that is ready to perform and support
you and fight for you, with you. But it doesn’t take away the fact (actually it’s
an opinion) that the game is internal and in your head! And your head is better
off knowing that if you do your job you have your team to back you up while
they do theirs!
